Here Comes the Bribe

by Mary Daheim

  Judith opened the door a bit warily to see Clark Stone standing on the welcome mat. “I stole a car,” he said.

  “You did?” Nothing that a member of the Schmuck group did could surprise Judith. “Come in,” she said, leading him into the parlor. “Have a seat. Whose car did you steal?”

  “One of the rentals,” Clark replied, sinking awkwardly into one of the two high-backed armchairs. “Have you seen Belle?”

  “She’s with her father,” Judith informed him. “They left here and went downtown to stay at a hotel. I don’t know which one.”

  “Darn.” Clark scowled. “My father thinks she skipped out on me. Maybe she doesn’t want to get married. He says that’s probably why she left. Oh, well.”

  “You mean . . . Stuart Wicks? Your stepfather?”

  “No,” Clark said. “I mean my real father. He’s staying downtown, too. At that big old hotel. I forget the name.”

  Judith didn’t blame him. The name had been changed over the years and recently had become a Four Seasons hotel. “I didn’t realize your father was in town.”

  “He’s been here a few days, I guess,” Clark said vaguely. “He travels a lot in his job. I guess he talks to recruiters who’re looking into backgrounds for people they might want to hire.”

  “Right,” Judith said, sounding almost as vague as Clark. “Does he also live in L.A.?”

  “Santa Monica. Dad’s got a yacht. He likes to sail out of there. He’s got moorage.”

  “That’s . . . nice for him. Look, Clark, I really don’t know where Belle and her father are staying. Did you know she’d come here?”

  “Not really,” he replied. “But Belle told me she wanted to find her dad. I don’t think she knew much about the city, so I figured she might’ve come here to ask if you’d seen him. Mr. Schmuck mentioned that you’d been really kind to him after Mrs. Schmuck died.” He lowered his eyes. “I don’t suppose you have a spare room vacant?”

  “I don’t,” Judith said, again feeling guilty about the guest bedroom in the third floor family quarters. “If your father’s at the big, old hotel downtown, why don’t you stay with him?”

  Clark’s face brightened. “I never thought of that. Maybe I will. I don’t want to be accused of stealing the rental, so I’ll turn it in. They must have a downtown office. I probably can walk from there to the hotel.”

  “That sounds like a plan,” Judith said, smiling encouragement. “I assume you got your wallet back?”

  “My . . . oh, right. I had a messenger bring it out to me from that drugstore. It cost a lot, but it was worth it. Hey, I better go now. Thanks for your help, Mrs. Flynn. Oh—how do I get downtown from here?”

  Judith told him to go back to the Avenue and down the hill. She was careful to emphasize the direction, for fear of Clark going the wrong way. “Turn left when you leave the cul-de-sac,” she said at the door. “After two blocks, you’ll be at Heraldsgate Avenue. Then turn right and you’ll end up downtown.”

  “Sounds like a no-brainer,” Clark responded.

  “It is,” Judith said. As long as he used his brain, of course.

  Joe headed up to bed early. Judith locked the front door, but though she was very tired, she wasn’t ready to settle down. The grandfather clock told her it was ten forty. Her mother would still be up, watching whatever was on TV.

  Going out the back door, she realized that the evening air felt almost balmy. Maybe there would be good weather for the Memorial Day weekend. A crescent moon hung over the hill, though Judith couldn’t see many stars. There were a couple of lights on at the Dooleys’, but of course the Rankerses’ house was dark. The only nearby light was from the B&B’s back hall. She’d forgotten to hit the switch for the back porch. Sweetums joined her near the birdbath, leading the way to Gertrude’s toolshed apartment.

  “What now?” the old lady demanded when Judith came inside. “Don’t tell me you finally split up with Lunkhead. It’s about time. Now I can die happy.”

  Judith ignored the remark. “You’re watching ER?” she practcally shouted. “Would you mind turning the sound down?”

  “What? I’m deaf, you know. Speak up!”

  Judith grabbed the remote and hit the mute button. “I didn’t think you liked hospital shows,” she said.

  Gertrude looked puzzled. “Is that what it is? I thought it was a comedy. No wonder so many of the people are wearing masks. How come you’re here and not there?” she asked, gesturing at the house.

  “I haven’t had much time this week to visit with you,” Judith replied. “Are you and Aunt Deb playing bridge tomorrow?”

  “You bet. We’re going up against Gilhooly and Fiasco. They’re a couple of hard cases, but we’ll kick their fat fannies.”

  “Those names aren’t real, are they?”

  “I never remember their last names,” Gertrude admitted. “But I know from seeing them at SOTS that the Irish blabbermouth counts her cards out loud and the Italian can’t see so good. I like our chances.”

  “Good for you and Aunt Deb,” Judith said, patting her mother’s stooped shoulder. “Say, what else do you remember from that séance you had with the people who were here last weekend?”

  Getrude looked blank. “What séance?”

  “Mother . . . you remember it just fine. Give. Please?”

  Gertrude frowned. “They all seemed to want to know about money, especially the porky little coot with the comb-over.”

  “Charlie Crump,” Judith murmured. “Do you mean as in getting more of it?”

  “I guess so,” Gertrude replied. “It was like they expected a big windfall. Maybe they bought lottery tickets. After I came out of my trance, one of those nincompoops asked me why you wouldn’t sell the house. I told him it was because you don’t own it, I do.”

  “Was that Rodney, the husband of the woman who died in the backyard?” Judith asked.

  “No. It was the idiot who blogs,” Gertrude replied. “He asked if I wanted to read some of the stuff he wrote. I told him my jumble puzzles would make more sense.”

  “Clayton Ormsby,” Judith murmured. “They want the whole cul-de-sac for condos.”

  Gertrude shrugged. “Speculators. California’s full of ’em.”

  Judith didn’t argue. Nor did she remind her mother that there were plenty of speculators in their own state. Of course Gertrude already knew that. She could see what had happened in their own neighborhood and it wasn’t all good. But was any of it worth killing for? Judith wasn’t sure.

  It seemed even darker outside to Judith after she left her mother. She walked carefully, always aware that even stepping on a pebble could throw her off balance. Just as she passed the statue of St. Francis, she gave a start. Someone was standing at the edge of the driveway by the house. The figure moved closer. Judith could see a man—a fairly tall man—and something about him looked familiar.

  “Hello?” she said softly, though her voice sounded strained.

  “Mrs. Flynn?” the man responded.

  “Yes.” Judith stopped a few feet from the porch. “Can I help you?”

  The man came closer. She recognized the phony inspector. Even in the darkness she was certain he was the same person who had been watching from the white car parked outside the cul-de-sac. Forcing herself to sound natural, she decided to go along with whatever game he was playing. “Mr. Ethanson?”

  He frowned, adjusting the collar of his blazer. “That’s not my real name. I’m Ronald Stone. I think you know my son, Clark. He was a guest here recently. I’m afraid I pulled a bit of a stunt on you over the weekend.”

  Judith felt her shoulders slump with relief. “I wondered who you really were. I found out who you were not. Would you like to come inside?”

  He nodded. “I tried the doorbell, but no one came to answer it.”

  “My husband must not have heard it,” Judith said, leading the way inside. Ronald Stone might seem harmless, but she knew from experience that first impressions weren’t always accurate. In fact
, sometimes they were downright dangerous. It was better to let her latest visitor think Joe was still up and about. Since her guests should be returning from their evening adventures, she decided it’d be more private to sit in the kitchen.

  “Your son told me you were in town,” Judith began after they were seated at the table.

  Ronald looked surprised. “You’ve seen him recently?”

  “He was here earlier,” Judith replied.

  “Why?” Ronald asked, his expression tense.

  “He thinks Belle wants to break off their engagement.”

  Ronald looked relieved. “I hope so. I don’t want Clark mixed up with that bunch. I told him that before he ever agreed to come on this trip with my ex and her jackass of a husband.”

  Judith started to speak, but stopped as she considered Ronald’s words. “I’m confused,” she admitted. “I was told that the purpose of the trip and staying here was to hold the wedding Saturday at my B&B.”

  Ronald burst out laughing. “That’s crazy! Clark hardly knows Belle. That is, one of those casual ‘let’s move in together to save on rent’ situations. When my son told me they’d broken up, I didn’t get it. I didn’t even know they were dating. I figured it was all some kind of lark. But I played along. When I came here pretending to be a city inspector—and I am sorry about the deception—I was hoping to see Clark and make sure he was okay. But he wasn’t around that day. I kept watching for him, but every time I saw him, he was with Belle or the rest of those people.”

  “You couldn’t call him?” Judith asked.

  “I tried,” Ronald replied. “But I never got through. I suppose he lost his cell. Clark’s always losing things. That’s one of the many reasons Cynthia and I split up. She had very peculiar ideas about child raising, such as never disciplining him or teaching him to take responsibility. To my ex, that was old-school nonsense. She wanted our son to raise himself so he could achieve personal freedom. It’s a wonder he didn’t go off the rails and end up in prison.”

  Judith was dismayed. “This was before Cynthia became a counselor?”

  Ronald nodded. “God only knows what kind of advice she gives. Cynthia has always had weird ideas. That idiot doctor friend of hers—Sophie—egged her on. They went to a private girls’ high school together.”

  “Yes, fast friends forever,” Judith remarked. “That’s a tough bond to break. Would Clark have gone through with the wedding?”

  “Probably,” Ronald said with disgust. “He’s easily led. But I doubt that Kindall or Kindick or whatever he calls himself is a real minister. He’s another weirdo.”

  “I wondered,” Judith said. “I couldn’t figure out how they got a marriage license since they’d just arrived in town.”

  “They probably didn’t have one,” Ronald responded. “What I can’t figure out is what’s really going on with this lunatic bunch, especially after Belle’s mother died. I didn’t know about that when I came here that day. I was stunned.”

  “You must’ve missed the EMTs and the cops,” Judith said. “Did you have any idea before you came here that a wedding was planned?”

  Ronald shook his head. “I only found out about that after I got here. When Clark told me last week he was traveling with Belle and the rest of them, I was sailing in the Santa Lucia Islands north of here. I decided I’d better head down to the city to keep an eye on things. He’d never mentioned that a wedding was in the offing. Maybe the poor kid hadn’t been told about it until they got here. I never knew the Schmucks. My only connection with that bunch is through Cynthia and Sophie.”

  “I don’t know what to say,” Judith admitted. “I have considered that so much of what happened with them has been some kind of charade. You followed me to Sunset Hills, didn’t you?”

  “I did,” Ronald said. “I saw their rental cars were gone. I didn’t want to try another impersonation stunt with you, so I finally followed you out there. I had no idea such a place like that existed around here. Of course I’m not familiar with this area. As you might guess,” he continued with a chagrined expression, “I couldn’t get inside. The only people I know there are Clark’s so-called friends and I figured Cynthia would make sure I’d be sent on my way.”

  “So what are you going to do next?”

  “At least Clark’s out of there now,” Ronald replied. “If only he had a cell . . .”

  “He left here for your hotel,” Judith said. “He may be there now, waiting for you. Assuming he . . . he found the right hotel, of course.”

  “Of course.” Ronald’s smile was wry. “I’d better go. Thanks for hearing me out. You must think I’m crazy,” he added as he stood up.

  Judith also got to her feet. “No, I don’t. Believe me,” she said as they went through the dining room to the hall, “this past week I’ve experienced a lot of crazy with Clark’s traveling companions. They all seem rather strange.”

  At the front door, Ronald put his hand on the knob and sighed. “To be fair, I don’t know most of them. But money may motivate whatever they’re up to. You’d be surprised what greed can do to people. It’s pernicious.”

  Judith merely smiled and wished him good luck. She didn’t say there wasn’t anything about greed or the other deadly sins that would surprise her. She’d had too much experience with most of them. Especially with the ones that led to murder.

  Chapter 26

  Judith slept better than she expected. The early morning passed without incident. While Joe visited with the guests in the dining room, Judith called Rankers Real Estate shortly before nine. To her relief, she was immediately transferred to Cathy.

  “Dick and I were refused entry,” she declared in an irate voice. “The guard obviously had been warned about letting in visitors. Bribed, I’ll bet. I’m calling the police. Or would it be the county sheriff? Sunset Hills isn’t inside the city limits.”

  “Good luck with that,” Judith said. “Gated communities have their own security. I suspect they’re a jurisdiction in themselves. I take it you haven’t heard from your parents?”

  “No,” Cathy replied, now sounding glum. “Even if Dick’s cell died on Mom, why can’t she pick up one of the landlines where they’re being held prisoner?”

  “Some people don’t have a landline these days,” Judith said. “You don’t.”

  “True,” Cathy admitted grudgingly. “But I still may call the police. Unless . . .” She left the sentence unfinished.

  “Unless what?” Judith finally asked.

  “Unless you go out there today,” Cathy said. “You’ve gotten in before. Maybe you can do it again.”

  Judith made a face and was glad Cathy couldn’t see her. “I’m not sure I can do that. I’ve got a full house all through the long weekend.”

  “But your guests won’t show up until late this afternoon, right?”

  “Right,” Judith agreed reluctantly. “I’ll try, okay?”

  Judith never told Joe what she called her little fibs. But she knew he’d pitch a fit if she revealed her intentions. Thus she called Renie to ask if she’d like to go to lunch, maybe somewhere other than in the neighborhood. Renie thought that was a good idea.

  “How about one of those new places in the mall by the University?” she suggested to Judith. “I’ve got some Father’s Day shopping I could do at one of the men’s stores there.”

  “Sounds good,” Judith agreed. “I’ll stop by around eleven thirty.”

  “Make it twelve fifteen,” Renie said. “I’m not dressed yet. It’s barely eleven. I’ve only been up for half an hour. If we get there later, we’ll miss the noon rush. Besides, I won’t be hungry that soon. I had trout for breakfast. Yum!”

  “Lucky you,” Judith said.

  Joe entered the kitchen just as she put the phone down. “Not another Schmuck call, I hope,” he said.

  “No. Renie and I are going to lunch and then to do some shopping,” she said. “I’ll see to Mother before I leave.”

  “Okay.” Joe started scraping a fr
ying pan. “I’ve got a surveillance job starting tonight. It’s out of town, in the state capital. It may last through the weekend. Will you be all right without me?”

  “Yes, of course,” Judith said. “You rarely leave town on those jobs. Has it something to do with our government down there?”

  “I guess,” Joe replied. “Sometimes I don’t get all the details. My job is to report on what the subject does while I’m watching. They don’t tell me more than I need to know.”

  Judith understood. It had been over a month since Joe had been given a round-the-clock surveillance assignment. She never really minded his being gone for a few days. But this was the first time he’d had to leave town.

  “When do you start?” she asked.

  Joe looked sheepish. “Now. As you know, it’s a long drive and in weekend holiday traffic at that. I’d better get packed.”

  Her gloomy feeling returned. She was silently lecturing herself when the back door opened and she heard a familiar voice: “Your cat has a seagull in the hedge.”

  “Arlene!” Judith rushed to her neighbor and hugged her. “How did you escape?”

  She felt Arlene shrug. “We just left. Our job was done. I really don’t think those people know what they’re doing. If they’re some sort of criminals, they have a peculiar way of showing it. Shouldn’t at least one of them carry a gun? In a holster, I mean. Why, they don’t even lock all their doors at night! Really, I doubt they even know we’re gone.”

  “What are they doing?” Judith asked.

  “They play a lot of board games,” Arlene replied, leaning against the kitchen counter. “Scrabble, Risk, Monopoly. I’ve never understood why they don’t raise real estate values for Monopoly. Imagine buying a property for sixty dollars!”

  “That’s it? I mean, they weren’t doing anything . . . unusual?”

  Arlene turned thoughtful. “I think someone said one of their cars was missing. A rental, I mean. They probably parked it somewhere and forgot. I suppose they’ll have to get at least one taxi when they go to the airport.”