by Suzie Twine
When they arrived at Honeysuckle, Lois persuaded Mel to pop in before going to Adam’s, to admire the progress that had been made. Even Lois was surprised at the changes since yesterday. It looked like the rewiring was finished. All the holes around the sockets and switches had been plastered over. Dean said George was coming tonight to mount and connect the fuse and meter boxes. The staircase was finished and looked amazing. The bathroom suite was fully functioning and the bathroom walls had a coat of paint, as did both the upstairs bedrooms and the landing.
“Wow,” said Mel, “it’s looking absolutely amazing! I can’t believe the staircase, it looks completely different. The whole place is starting to look great.”
“You guys have been very busy today, its really taking shape isn’t it? When do you think you’ll be done?” Lois asked Dean.
“Middle of next week should do it.”
“Perfect!” said Lois.
Mel went off to find Adam, with Lois calling after her to have a great time. Then she looked at her watch. Ten to five, Sicily was due to appear at any moment. She nipped upstairs to the bathroom and as she was walking down, there was a knock at the door.
“You ready?”
“Ready as I’ll ever be.”
“Oh it’ll be fine. Pretend nobody’s told you what Chaz does, take ‘em as you find ‘em and decide whether you like ‘em or not. I get on quite well with ‘em as it goes.”
“I say, aren’t you supposed to be talking posh today?”
“Oh yeah. Mmm, perhaps I’ll start tomorrow.”
“Gosh, what’s that smell?” asked Lois, as Sicily turned to walk down the garden path. The back of Sicily’s jacket and hair were covered in, what looked and smelt like, manuur puddle.
“Um, Sicily, how did you get here?”
“On my dirt bike, why d’you ask?”
“You seem to have half of Bill’s ‘manuur’ heap up your back and in your pony tail.”
“Oh crap!”
“Exactly!” Lois laughed. “Look, do you want to borrow some leggings and a T-shirt, I’ve just bought some clothes from the flat. I tell you what, go up to our newly installed bathroom and give the shower a test run.” Lois rummaged in the holdall she’d brought in from the car and found a towel and clothes for Sicily to change into. “Here you go. The leggings are somewhat stretched out of shape and will be too short, but at least you won’t smell so bad! Oh, hang on just a sec,” she went through to the kitchen and found a bin bag, some soap and a small bottle of shampoo. “There you go, now make it snappy, I don’t want to get off on the wrong foot by being late!”
“You can go up there on your own if you like, I’ll meet you there.”
“Ha ha! Hurry up, pleeeease!”
“By the way, did you find any of Chaz’s class As in yer shed?”
“Oh gosh, I completely forgot to look. I’ll go now, while you’re in the shower.”
Lois searched the shed for suspicious packages. Then, lifting the gnomes off the shelf one by one, she found a hole underneath them and hollow bodies. She felt slightly disappointed in a strange way. It would have made a great dinner party story, finding gnomes full of heroin in the shed.
Lois rushed Sicily out of the door as soon as she arrived downstairs and up the lane to the last cottage. In the event, they were only five minutes late. Margaret opened the door and Lois saw her in her entirety for the first time. Even though Lois sort of knew what she looked like, she was still shocked by her obesity and had to concentrate on not letting her jaw drop. When Margaret had been in the car, Lois couldn’t really appreciate how short she was. Now, seeing her standing, the fact that she was as wide as she was high, became apparent. Margaret gave Sicily a huge bear hug then reached for Lois’s hand and stood on tiptoes, Lois bent down and kissed her on each cheek. ‘Like kissing a couple of dough balls,’ Lois thought to herself. She was relieved that she hadn’t come with Mel; she wouldn’t have kept a straight face.
“Thanks so much for the invitation Margaret, it’s awfully kind of you.” Lois found herself putting on her upper-class accent. Sicily turned and raised her eyes to heaven, as if to say “Not again!”
“Oh please, call me Mags, all my friends do.”
Lois felt like saying, “Steady on there Margaret, lets not be too presumptuous!” But actually said, “Ok Mags.” And as if she had read Lois’s mind, Sicily, once again, raised her eyes to heaven.
Margaret waddled into the kitchen. Lois noticing how tiny her slippered feet were and wondering how on earth she managed to keep her balance. It reminded her of Chinese foot binding. Then she realised that if Margaret had been of average weight for her height, her feet would probably not have looked so small.
As they were about to go into the kitchen, Lois stopped so abruptly that Sicily walked into her. She was staring at a wedding photo on the wall. Chaz was recognisable enough, but Margaret, where was she? Surely Chaz wasn’t keeping a photo of a previous wedding on the wall.
Before Lois could draw her eyes away, Margaret had retraced her steps to see what the hold up was. “Ah, yes, I look a bit different there, don’t I Lois?” Lois, for a change, was rendered speechless. Sicily, once again, came to the rescue.
“You’ll ‘ave to cut down on them cakes Mags!”
“I know, I know and I will, tomorrow, I promise!”
“Yeah right, I’ve ‘eard that one before. You know better than any of us ‘ow bad it is for your ‘ealth. Look at poor ol’ Jack, you don’t wanna end up like ‘im do you?”
“No you’re right Sissy. You do have a remarkably sensible head on very young shoulders. I will try hard, I promise. It’s just that when you’ve got so much to lose, it’s very disheartening you know.”
“Yeah I’m sure, but you’ll lose your job soon, they’ve warned you ‘aven’t they?”
“Yes, yes. Ok I’ll start now.” Margaret thought for a minute as she ushered Lois and Sicily into the kitchen and indicated for them to sit down at the table, which was covered in all sorts of wonderful looking treats for tea. Lois hadn’t been offered a tea like this for a very long time and she scanned the display trying to decide which of the glorious items to sample first.
“Sissy,” said Margaret, “would you like to be my personal trainer? I really need someone to keep me in line. Be firm. I’ll pay you well.”
Sicily didn’t look at all surprised by this suggestion, she just said, “Sounds great, we’ll start now.” Then, went to the cupboard under the sink, took out a bin liner, and to both Lois and Margaret’s astonishment, and horror, emptied each plate from the table into the bag. Sandwiches, scones, malt loaf, a fantastic looking coffee cake, chocolate cake and a plate full of iced fairy cakes. Then she got a spoon out of the drawer and scooped the cream and jam back into their containers, which Margaret had left on the side, and threw the containers into the bin liner as well. She tied up the handles of the bag, marched out of the front door, up the garden path and slung it into the wheelie bin.
“Well,” said Margaret, sitting down to get over the shock, “well, that, I suppose, is a start.” She sat in silence, looking completely bewildered for some time. Lois thought she could see tears welling up in her eyes. Then she said, “Sorry Lois, perhaps I should have mentioned the personal training idea after tea.”
Lois felt sorry for her, she looked lost, like she didn’t know what to do or say without the presence of food on the table. “I’ll put the kettle on,“ said Lois.
“Right Mags, don’t look so surprised, this is ‘ow it’s gunna have to be from now on. Tea means cup of, not, enough cakes to feed a village. If you’re ‘ungry, ‘ave some fruit. Where’s Chaz by the way, we’d better let ‘im know you’re on a mission.”
Margaret still looked very much like she was in shock. “He’s out in the back garden, doing some weeding.”
“Oh, he likes gardening?” Lois said naively.
“No Lois. If Mags says he’s doing some weeding or some potting, trust me, it’s got nothing to do with g
ardenin’ ‘as it Mags?”
“No love, it hasn’t. Oh, Lois, I’m so sorry, you must think we’re a right old pair, him smoking dope and me eating cakes. But, I, for one, am going to change!” Lois thought she could see a slight hint of determination in Margaret’s face. “Sissy perhaps you could help Chaz too?”
“Steady on Mags! I might be tough but I aint that tough!”
A few minutes later, Chaz came in and sat down with them at the table and had a cup of tea. Sicily explained why there was nothing left to eat. Chaz roared with laughter. “Cor, bloody ‘ell Sis! Good fir you mate, good fir you!”
Chaz asked Lois where they had been living and what had made her and Tom want to move out of London. To which Lois replied, that she had always wanted to live in the country and now that the baby was on the way, it just seemed like the right time. She kept her answers short, she didn’t feel comfortable, him knowing personal details about her.
“Good fir you Lo. I’s a great environment out ‘ere. D’ya know wha’ I mean? It aint rough, like whadit is up London. Aint that right Sis?” Once again, Lois was pleased that Mel wasn’t with her.
At six o’clock, Lois excused herself, saying she was expecting Tom home any minute and he wouldn’t know where she was. She thanked Margaret very much and wished her luck with her mission.
“She’ll need it!” laughed Chaz.
“Yeah, and a bit o’ support from you wouldn’t go amiss,” said Sicily, giving Chaz a friendly, yet hard, punch on the arm, as she left. “I’ll call in tomorrow mornin’ and we’ll go through a programme. Ten o’clock Mags, ok?”
“Great. Thanks Sissy.”
When Sicily got to the wheelie bin, she opened it up and yanked out the bin liner. “Just to remove the temptation!” she called back to Margaret, who was waiting forlornly in the porch. “Oh, and by the way Mags, I’ve got your car keys, just until tomorrow. If you need su’ink from the shop, you can always walk to get i’!”
As they walked down the lane Lois asked Sicily, “Where on earth did you get the confidence to talk to people, indeed treat people in that way. Throwing ALL the cakes in the bin!”
“Oh, I know them pretty well. I know that Mags would love to look like she used to. She star’ed puttin’ on weight ten years ago and ‘aving put on a stone it was just a slippery slope. The bigger she gets, the more she needs to eat because ‘er size depresses ‘er. It’s a vicious circle innit?”
“Seems to me you should be a psychologist or something, not messing about with horses.”
“It’s them that keeps me level ‘eaded!”
When Lois and Sicily arrived back at Honeysuckle, Tom was just pulling up. He got out of the car and gave Lois a hug. “How’s my favourite fiance? Not been kidnapped by an evil, drug dealing neighbour I’m pleased to see!” and turning to Sicily, added, “and who’s this? I bet it’s the famous Sicily.”
“It is indeed,” said Lois, “Sicily, Tom. Tom, Sicily.”
“Delighted,” said Tom as he shook Sicily’s hand, “I’ve heard so much about you.”
“Oh yeah, Lois said. You think I’ve been winding ‘er up.”
“And haven’t you?” Tom asked, as he reached into the car to take out some bags of takeaway.
“No, not yet,” Sicily said, smiling.
“Ah, well you must tell me more. Bought enough food for an army Sicily, would you like to join us?”
“Sounds great, I’ll just phone me mum and let ‘er know what I’m up to. There’s plenty o’ cake for pudding too, eh Lois?”
As Sicily walked away a little to make her phone call, Lois explained, “Margaret, we went for tea, remember? But Sicily, being offered the post of personal trainer, confiscated the entire spread and put it in a bin-liner!” Lois pointed to the bag slung over Sicily’s shoulder. “We’ll fill you in later. Come on, I’m dying to show you the house.”
Tom and Lois went inside. Tom was astonished to see how much the house had taken shape since Wednesday. Lois went and got the vacuum from the car and started hoovering. The house was so near to being liveable-in, it was a shame not to have a quick clean up before dinner. Tom put the oven on and the takeaway in it to keep warm. Sicily came in carrying the box of cleaning equipment, which she had noticed when Lois got the hoover out of the car. She went through to the kitchen, collected a bowl of water and washing up liquid, took a cloth from the box and proceeded to wash down all the dust covered surfaces and the windows in the lounge. She then grabbed the micro fibre cloths that Lois had brought and polished up the insides of the windows, window ledges and mantelpiece.
By the time Lois and Sicily had finished, which only took half an hour, the effect was amazing. The evening sun poured through the French doors at the back of the living room, the amount of light entering the house, appearing to have doubled.
Lois found the rug that Pippa had brought and laid it on the floor in the corner of the living room. Tom had painstakingly served up the takeaway. He made five journeys to carry the plates, a bottle of wine and three glasses through to the lounge. He wasn’t worried about driving his automatic car with one hand in plaster, but dropping an Indian meal was another matter.
Tom and Lois sat, propped against the wall. Sicily sat opposite them, in the lotus position, her back perfectly straight. They were all very hungry, Sicily in particular. She hadn’t eaten lunch, pending a feast of cake at Margaret’s house. She sat in silence, munching her way through a large plateful of food.
Eventually, the urgent need to get food to mouth subsided and they all suddenly felt very full.
“So Sicily, Lois tells me you live at Willow Farm and are in charge of exercising the client’s horses. Do you enjoy it?” asked Tom.
“Oh yeah, it’s all right. But I wanna go travellin’ soon as I’m eighteen.”
“How old are you now?” Tom asked. He and Lois were both surprised she wasn’t eighteen. Lois had tried to put an age to her and decided, since she seemed so competent, she must be in her early twenties.
“Sixteen.”
Lois nearly choked on a piece of onion bhaji she was trying to stuff down because she couldn’t bear to see it go to waste. “You can’t be!” she spluttered.
“Seventeen in October, can’t wait! Bill’s bought me a car already, an old banger, I’ve been drivin’ it round the fields on the farm. It was really funny, the first time I did it on me own, Bill came to find me afterwards. ‘E was ranting on about me ‘aving run over Diana. I ‘ad a real panic, thought I’d killed one o’ the liveries dogs or one of ‘is chickens. But turned out I’d run over some old door that was lyin’ in the yard. ‘E’d called it Diana, Diana Doors.” Lois, mouth still full, almost blew her nose into her remaining curry and had to excuse herself and go and fetch some kitchen roll.
“Blimey, it sounds like you lot are nuts!” said Tom, laughing.
“Tom, don’t be so rude, you’ve only just met Sicily,” Lois said, sitting herself back down.
“Oh God, don’t worry Lois, ‘e’s not the first person to call my family nuts, I can assure you!”
“Anyway Sicily, where is it you want to travel to, have you made any plans yet?”
“Oh yeah, on my first trip I want to go to India, to study yoga.”
Had Lois been eating anything at this point, she would undoubtedly have choked again. This young girl, who seemed so tough and really, Lois had thought, a bit rough around the edges, was very unusual.
“That sounds very exciting. Have you investigated where and how yet?” Tom asked.
“Yeah, over the last year I’ve been researchin’ it. Top of me list for the yoga at the moment is the Ashtanga Institute in Mysore. But I wanna travel around India and Sri Lanka as well.”
“What do your parents think about you going travelling?” asked Tom.
“Me Mum’s in two minds. She thinks it’ll help me mature. Thinks I should take the opportunity while I’m young. But, she doesn’t know how she’ll cope with runnin’ the yard without me. Bill,” Sicily looked
up from her plate to Tom, “Bill’s me Dad. ‘E’s not s’ keen. ‘E’s never been abroad in ‘is life, ‘e don’t trust foreigners and will probably do everything ‘e can to stop me goin’!”
“Oh, you’ll be able to talk him round, I’m sure. I bet you can wind him round your little finger. I did some travelling around India, when I was young, free, single and happy. Ow!” said Tom, as Lois elbowed him in the ribs, forgetting all about his injuries. Fortunately, she was not sitting on Tom’s broken side. “I’m very careful which side of Lois I sit!” he said, smiling.
“How did you injure yourself Tom?” Sicily asked.
“Oh, have you not heard? Mountain biking accident, very dramatic!”
“I love mountain biking. We normally go to Wales, which mountain were you on?”
Lois laughed so much; she had to stand up to relieve the pressure caused by baby, curry and laughter, on her abdomen. She propped herself against the wall. “Yes, which mountain was it Tom?”
“Oh yes, you can laugh, it can be pretty treacherous in the New Forest, you know!”
“Oh, the New Forest,” said Sicily, feeling a bit sorry for Tom at this point, she hadn’t meant to mock him, “yeah, it can be pretty rough down there, a friend of mine had a nasty crash down there.”
“Thank you!” said Tom, looking at Lois with a ‘see’ look on his face, but Lois continued to titter.
“Imagine what you’d look like now if you had been on a mountain! I don’t think you should ever do that Tom. Well not before we sort out your life insurance, anyway.”
Sicily decided that this was probably a good time to clear up the plates. Tom and Lois joined her. Sicily used the bag the food had come in to collect up the empty takeaway containers. “Do you want these?” she asked Lois, showing her the containers, “it’s just Maureen collects them, always finds something handy to do with them.”