by Jane Corrie
Her voice was not quite as steady as it had been before, but she made herself go on. 'If I ever needed a friend, I needed one then, but what did I get?' she said bitterly. 'The same old treatment that I received all those years ago—with just as little reason—at least,' she paused, and drew in a ragged breath. 'I didn't know the reason then, but I do now. Melanie did me a favour when she summed it all up in a few well-chosen words.' Her eyes reflected the dislike she felt for him as she continued: 'She told me you'd had enough trouble with my mother to risk tangling with me.'
Kade's swift indrawn breath was not lost on her, and it gave her the courage to go on. She was no match for him; with a word or a look he could scythe through her defences, and she knew it, but if she could pierce through that supreme confidence of his just once, then she would be well satisfied. 'As for daydreaming, as you so bluntly put it just now, do you honestly think I'm that much of a fool?' She laid her knife and fork down on her plate and pushed it away from her abruptly. Whatever appetite she might have had had now deserted her.
'Eat your lunch,' commanded Kade loftily, just as though she were the child of yesteryear.
Tanya did no such thing, but reached for the coffee
pot and found Kade's strong fingers closing over hers. 'I said, eat your lunch,' he repeated firmly. 'You're much too thin as it is, and you'll need some refuelling to replace all that ammunition you've just shot me down with. Okay,' he said abruptly, his hand now clenched over her wrist to prevent her from carrying out her intention of leaving the table and escaping from his presence. 'You've had your say, now you'll hear mine.'
She had no choice but to do as he had said. He still had an iron hold on her wrist, and although she was forced to sit down on her chair again, he retained his hold on her as if certain that she would make a bolt for the door if he released her, but he did lessen his hold sufficiently for it not to cause her any discomfort.
It was during this highly charged interval that Connie chose to look in to see if they wanted any more coffee, but at Kade's growled, 'Later, Connie,' she made a hasty retreat back into the kitchen.
'So in your estimation I notch up a fair number of points for the Brute of the Year contest,' he began harshly, as the door swung to behind Connie. 'So now I'm saying sorry in the only way I know how, and you'd better accept it,' he said quietly. 'I'm not likely to repeat it again. I guess I didn't make things clear enough the other day, although I did hope you'd see things from my point of view.' His voice was much gentler now. 'As for keeping my distance from you when you were a kid—I had to—as things were then, I couldn't risk giving your mother a chance to capitalise on any friendly overtures in any direction, and that included you.'
His gaze went beyond Tanya and rested on a framed photograph of her mother and father taken on their
wedding day. 'As for not giving you an uproarious welcome when you returned,' he went on gruffly, 'well, I admit to being at fault there, but old memories die hard, especially the bad ones. Things were never the same again between your father and me after you and your mother left. Oh, he trusted me to run his business for him, but he was human enough to wonder if I'd encouraged your mother. He could never be sure, you see.'
His eyes left the photograph and came back to Tanya. 'After what he'd done for my family, how do you think I felt about that?' he demanded in a low voice. 'If there was one man I respected above all others, it was your father. How can you answer unspoken accusations?' he queried bitterly. 'I could have yelled myself hoarse in repudiating them if I'd been given a chance, but you can't yell at intangibles, things that are sensed but never said. Far better to have it out and done with, it's kinder that way,' he added on a weary note.
He released his hold on her wrist and gave her a hard searching look. 'I'm grateful you didn't bottle it all up and gave it straight from the shoulder. I guess the past has been as rough on you as it was for me. Shall we start again,' he asked her softly, 'and see if we can't make a better deal between us?'
Tanya wanted to weep. If only he had said all this before! It was a little late now for him to realise that he had not been the only one who had suffered in the past. As much as she wished that she could accept his belated peace offering, she felt that it was too late.
If Kade altered his approach to her and began treating her with respect, and with the kind of humble humility that had been in his last words, then she
would be totally lost. She might have convinced him that she had no aspirations to become closer to him, and had no romantic notions where he was concerned, but the sad fact of the matter was that she still loved him. Only by whipping up a hate relationship with him could she survive. She was not insensible to the fact that it would mean more heartache for her, but either way, she couldn't win. A scathing and sardonic Kade was preferable to the other side of his personality, that had shown a kind and gentle understanding that had surprised her. If he ever found out that she loved him—her heart missed a beat on the thought as she acknowledged the salient if painful realisation that there could be no such relationship between them. If Tanya had been unhappy before, she was doubly so now, and wanted an end to the whole miserable situation. It wasn't a case of cowardice—as she was sure Kade would see it when she reasserted her wish to leave Orchard Farm. It was plainly and simply a case of survival against overwhelming odds.
CHAPTER FIVE
TANYA found herself completely unable to look at him as she gave him her answer. She stared down at her hands now twisted together in her lap. 'It won't work, Kade,' she said slowly, and was surprised how firm her voice was. 'There's too much behind us,' she added heavily. 'You said that you were grateful that I'd been honest with you—well, I'm going to be more honest now. I promised to stay for six months, and I'm going to keep my word, but after that I intend to leave.'
She darted a quick look at him and saw the familiar stiffening of his strong jaw. 'I've somewhere to go,' she said quickly. 'I was offered a home when Mother died—and the offer's still open—it will always be there,' she added significantly. 'I know you want to keep your promise to my father, but if he were still here I'm sure that under the circumstances he would understand.' She gave Kade a brittle smile. 'You said I belonged here, but you were wrong. I don't belong—I stopped belonging when Mother walked out all those years ago.'
'And where exactly do you think you belong?' he asked harshly. 'To the place you're going?' Before she could answer, he added pithily, 'And I want to know just where this place is.'
Tanya's brows raised at this; he might have been her father or her elder brother, such was his presumption that he had a right to know. In a way, she conceded, he had a right to know, and it might as well be now. 'In
Oregon,' she said quietly, and on seeing his eyes narrow, she nodded complacently. 'Yes, he was one of my mother's friends, so I'll be well looked after.'
'Why didn't you accept his offer earlier?' he queried, his blue stare pierced into her wide eyes. 'You didn't, did you? You came back home! ' There was an emphasis on the word home and Tanya did not miss that.
'Because I didn't know at that time what I really wanted,' she lied. 'I was upset and unable to think straight. I needed time to work things out.' She took a deep breath. 'Well, I've thought things out now, and have decided to accept his offer.'
'I take it he's a bachelor?' Kade commented sourly, and continued without her confirmation. 'That was six months back, what happens if he's got himself fixed up by now?' he asked sardonically.
Tanya's lovely eyes showed her puzzlement at the question. 'Fixed up?' she repeated slowly.
'Come, come,' jeered Kade, now back to form again. 'He was courting your mother, wasn't he? She had the kind of looks that attracts them in droves. So—like I said—what happens if he's got his eye on someone else? Your presence would be a trifle embarrassing for him, to put it mildly. Have you thought of that?' he shot out at her.
Tanya's eyes sparked shoots of green fire as his implication reached through her earlier puzzlement
. She needed no whipping-up of hatred towards him now; he had given her the spur she wanted. Her shocked senses wondered how she could ever have thought she was in love with him. With a few caustic words he had managed to label her mother as a rapacious manhunter, and Lloyd Warren as a loser in the marriage stakes and
now on the trail for a successor. That was bad enough in itself, she thought furiously, but when he had added the further indignity of making her feel the unwanted left-over from the liaison between Lloyd and her mother, her hate towards him became a live sensation. What would he know of such relationships? He'd been too busy protecting himself from his adoring female fans to learn about love, and that it could be a beautiful thing. Tanya was certain that her mother would have married Lloyd had she been able to do so, but she had put her daughter's happiness before her own when she had agreed to abide by the decision made by Tanya's father never to remarry.
There was cold fury in her voice as she replied, 'I don't think that's any business of yours. You might have managed my father's affairs, but I refuse to discuss my private life with you. I'm going to Oregon and that's an end to it.'
'Want to bet on it?' replied Kade with eyes that glinted dangerously. 'When you summed me up a while ago you forgot to add one other ingredient to my list of bad points. I'd prove a bad loser. I've never lost a - fight yet, and I don't intend to start now. I said you belonged here, and I meant just that. By fair or foul means I mean to prove that to you within the stated time limit—so don't think you can run out on me. If my guess about the Oregon connection is right, then you'd do well to listen to me and make up your mind to settle down to the job of running the business.'
He gave the gasping Tanya a long considering look. 'It's my guess you've a lot to learn about life,' he commented quietly. 'You'd find yourself in a hell of a mess if you walked into the kind of situation I've outlined.
I've an idea that that was why you turned him down before, and if you're honest, you'll admit it.'
'I'll admit no such thing!' replied Tanya, incensed. 'There was a reason why I turned his offer down, but not the one you're hinting at, that I'd cramp his style—that's what you meant, isn't it?' she said furiously. 'Well, you're wrong again. He's not a bit like the sort of person you're making him out to be. In point of fact he was the one man I wished my mother had married!'
Her blazing eyes met the cool sardonic ones of Kade, and she knew that he was not convinced, and the knowledge made her even more furious. 'And what about you, Mr Player?' she bit out tersely. 'Won't I cramp your style? You're a bachelor too, so the same goes for you!'
Again she noticed that sudden widening of his eyes and felt a spurt of satisfaction that she had managed to score a point there.
Kade's eyes were no longer sardonic but furious as he bit back harshly. 'If you mean what I think you mean, then I'd advise you to choose your words with more care,' he warned. 'We were discussing your mother's friend. As for cramping my style—you're not up to my weight.' His eyes narrowed speculatively as he added slowly, 'It's my opinion your mother kept you well away from any emotional involvement—after what happened to her she'd make certain history wasn't repeated,' he ended scathingly.
Tanya blinked in shock. She hadn't meant it to sound as if she was vying for a place in his love life, but either he had deliberately misinterpreted her words or he really thought that that was what was behind her challenge. As for his blunt comments on her mother keep-
ing her free from involvements—well—he was right on that score, but she wasn't going to give him the satisfaction of knowing that !
Her small chin jutted out in a defiant gesture as she said suggestively, 'She couldn't be around all the time,' and tried to assume a cool demeanour as she met his searching eyes.
His lips thinned as he drawled softly, 'If I believed what you're hinting at then I'd agree with your haring off to Oregon.' His eyes rested on her soft full lips now clamped together in temper. 'I wouldn't mind betting you've never been kissed,' he remarked in a casual mocking way. His eyes laughed at her as she made an involuntary move away from him. 'Don't worry, I'm not about to indoctrinate you into such pastimes. We'll save that for a more suitable applicant.'
Again Tanya caught the inflection of the big brother act, and she wished she could relieve some of her fury by pummelling him with her fists, but it would be just as effective as hitting the wall behind him, only she would suffer. How dared he assume that he had the right to choose her boy-friends for her! 'Why waste all that experience of yours?' she cut back bitterly, without realising what she was saying. 'Why not throw it in as part and parcel of the business course? You never know —it might come in handy ! '
There was a small shocked silence after this, and Tanya's cheeks flamed as the full realisation of her outburst reached through her infuriated senses. How could she have lowered herself like that? If he took her up on it, then she wouldn't be waiting for the time limit to be up, she'd be off on the next plane to Oregon for a certainty!
Kade stood surveying her flushed cheeks through hooded eyes. 'The day may come when you'll come to wish you hadn't said that,' he said warningly, then turned abruptly away from her and walked to the door. 'If you've finished your lunch, we've the lower acres to inspect.'
Tanya closed her eyes; she wanted to shout out after him that she hadn't meant what she'd said, and would he please forget it, but when she opened her eyes again he'd left the room, and there was nothing for her to do but follow him. As for forgetting, it was a little too late for that. A man like that never forgot, and whatever the future held for her now, she had brought it upon herself.
The afternoon rounds of the lower orchards were decidedly different from the morning rounds. Tanya was hardly given a breathing space. Each time Kade inspected the crop of fruit from selected trees, she was told what he was looking for and why. In what seemed a remarkably short period of time she was given the history of the apple industry in the island, that went back to Governor Bligh of the Bounty, credited with bringing the fruit to the Island.
For all Tanya cared the seeds could have been dropped by the birds, but her wide grey eyes showed none of her thoughts as she met Kade's determined blue ones.
His attitude towards her now was one of teacher to student. A teacher who was determined that his pupil should do well, and that she would pass the finals if he had to push her through them! There was more at stake than his pride, she mused, for without meaning to she had offered him a challenge and he had accepted it.
When it came down to brass tacks it was a case of his will against hers. It was a fight that she dared not lose, even if it meant breaking her word and taking off for Oregon. On this thought she sighed inwardly. She didn't want to break her word; her mother had run away from her problems instead of facing up to them, and had created more problems and more unhappiness for all concerned. Tanya's problem was different in that she was free to choose her own destiny—and she chose not to fall into the same emotional trap that had brought so much bitterness in its train.
Her eyes rested on the bright green foliage of the branch that Kade was holding out for her inspection as he gave her another lecture, this time on the spraying of the trees. All this meant nothing to her; her mind was made up and he was just wasting his breath. This thought somewhat alleviated the frustration she had felt during their earlier confrontation. She would play it his way from now on—it was better than being stuck in an office anyway, and she would be a very attentive student. He had said that he meant to win by fair or foul means, hadn't he? What was good enough for him was good enough for her. She would lull him into thinking he had won the fight, and when the time limit was up she would say something soothing on the lines of how interesting it had all been, but now she must be off.
`Are you listening?' demanded Kade, eyeing the sparkle in her eyes as she contemplated her final triumphant exit from Orchard Farm, with a hint of suspicion in his.
Tanya came out of her happy musings with a guilty start, and blinked at Kade
, now with a glint in his eye.
'Of course,' she replied hastily, thinking she had to do better than this if her plan was to succeed. 'You were talking about spraying the crops,' she went on hastily, devoutly hoping he would not ask her to give a verbatim report of the subject.
His sardonic reply of, `So we were,' and his added, 'Well, I guess there's plenty of time,' drawled on what Tanya could only interpret as a warning note, gave her cause to suspect that he was well aware of her intentions and envisaged no trouble in overcoming them.
This thought somewhat dampened her earlier enthusiasm for the fight ahead, but by the time the inspection had finished and they were on the way back to Orchard Farm at the close of the working day, she had recovered her fighting spirit. Oddly enough Kade's own words had brought about her recovery. She remembered what he'd said about her being a fighter, and not being the type to run away. Although it could be argued that he was just saying that to make her agree to stay and see things through, but she knew that he was not a person to utter glib statements, and would certainly not lower his standard to suit the occasion—any occasion—he was too straightforward for that.
When Kade told her that she would be accompanying him to Hobart the next day, Tanya realised that there was more to the business than just inspecting the orchards and making out the accounts. When another and much less palatable thought hit her, she very nearly gave up the fight then and there. It was Kade's cool order that she should pack an evening dress as they would be attending a social function after the conference was ended that started her palpitations.
The plain fact was that she didn't know enough
about the business to know whether he always attended the ensuing social get-together. She had a nasty suspicion that he didn't, but was making a point of doing so for her benefit. She swallowed. If it was for her benefit then he needn't have bothered, but she could hardly say so, could she? not after her rash outburst during lunch. So much for hoping that he would forget her lapse from grace, she thought bitterly as she envisaged an evening in his company.