by Jane Corrie
These thoughts were going through Tanya's mind as she dressed for yet another evening out. When she was ready, she studied her reflection in the long mirror. Her burnt orange velvet dress clung sleekly to her slim figure. There was no trace of girlishness now about her, and it wasn't only the new hair style that she had adopted, cut very short and shaped close to her head like a golden cap. It was more than that, she thought, as she stared at the image before her. It was as if she had left her youth and dreams back in Tasmania, and she didn't really know this cool elegant-looking woman now staring back at her.
With an impatient shrug, she moved away from the mirror. It must have been Connie's letter that had brought on this mood of miserable retrospection. It was always the same after she had received one of her chatty letters.
It was eight weeks since Tanya had left Orchard Farm, and during that time she had received four letters from Connie. Invariably Kade had been mentioned, and considering that he was now living at the house this was not surprising. She had said that Kade
was quiet—quiet for him, that was, and always seemed to be busy these days, too busy to have the chats they used to have, and she didn't hear much about the business these days.
In her latest letter she had mentioned that Kade was having a wing added to the back of the house, and that she couldn't see why such an extension had been necessary. It was true that Orchard House was not a big house, but surely big enough for his wants?
As she read this Tanya's heart had given a painful leap. What Connie had said about the size of the house was true. Its three bedrooms had been ample for the Humes' small family, but too small for a larger one.
Connie might be mystified about the reasons behind this move of Kade's, but Tanya wasn't. There could only be one reason why Kade should want a larger establishment, and that was marriage. Someone, it appeared, had broken through that protective guard of his and lowered all defences. She must be quite a woman, Tanya thought sadly, only grateful that she was off the scene and would not have to suffer the torment of watching the man she loved pledging his vows to another woman.
In view of this latest development, Connie had had to cancel her visit to Oregon. She couldn't very well be absent when the builders were tramping about the place. They were to start the following week, and as her visit to Tanya was due the week after, she saw no other course but to leave her visit for a later date.
Tanya had not been sorry about this, as she had been secretly dreading Connie's arrival. Connie knew her a little too well to be fooled into believing she was happy. She saw too much, and Tanya couldn't have borne it
if she had bluntly said so, for unhappy or not, she had no choice but to make the best of things.
In a way, Tanya thought, as she collected her wrap and left her suite to join Lloyd, it was history repeating itself. Like her mother, she had fallen in love with a man she couldn't have. There was only one little difference, she told herself bitterly. Lloyd had loved her mother, whereas Kade
The murmur of voices floated towards her as she approached the lounge, and her thoughts were still miles away as she entered the room. If they had not been she might have recognised the deep voice of the man standing beside Lloyd by the bar at the end of the room.
Lloyd's hearty, 'Look who's here' made her focus her wide eyes still with that faraway look in them on the tall bronzed figure of the man she had just been thinking of.
Somehow she forced her weak legs to walk forward and held out a polite hand for him to take in greeting, murmuring in a voice she hardly recognised as her own, 'This is a surprise, why didn't you tell us you were coming?'
'It was a snap decision,' replied Kade, his blue stare seeming to engulf her. 'I've just been to a meeting in New York, so I thought I might as well call in while I'm here.' Still keeping his eyes on Tanya, he commented, 'Looks as if I've chosen the wrong evening, you're just about to go off somewhere, aren't you?'
Part of Tanya wanted to hear Lloyd say that they weren't going anywhere special, and of course they could cancel it. That was the part that belonged to her heart. The other part—the level-headed side of her
wanted to hear him say that they couldn't very well cancel their plans at this late hour and regretted the fact that they would have to go ahead and keep their appointment.
In the event Lloyd complied with both of her wishes by saying, 'Well, I guess we don't both have to go.' He looked back at the now wary-eyed Tanya. 'We can't both drop out at this hour. I'll leave you to entertain our guest, Tanya. I'll put in an appearance for the Cowleys' dinner, and try to get away early. How's that?' he asked cheerfully.
Tanya tried her best to look grateful, but wasn't sure she succeeded, judging by the familiar mocking look lurking in Kade's eyes. He knows I don't want to be alone with him, she thought as her pulse rate increased at the very thought.
There was a little more small talk before Lloyd left them, charging Tanya with the task of keeping Kade's glass filled, and showing him the garden of which he was justly proud. 'I take it you're staying the night?' he asked Kade, before he left, and to Tanya's further consternation Kade had given a confirming nod and drawled, 'Several, if convenient.'
Lloyd was pleased about this if Tanya wasn't, and gave an approving nod. 'In that case, I needn't rush back,' he answered with a grin.
During the silence that followed Lloyd's departure, Tanya wondered if Kade could hear her thudding heartbeats, and when he quickly finished his whisky she almost rushed to refill his glass. Her nervous hand never reached the bottle as Kade's strong one closed over it. 'Later, Tanya. I want to talk to you,' he said softly.
Tanya snatched her hand away from the contact that
had sent her pulse rate soaring. It was so easy for him, she thought bitterly. Everything was going his way. Was it falling in love that had made him see how shabbily he had treated her? Did he want to make sure that she was happy? If she had been beaten twice a day by Lloyd, she wouldn't have told him !
She remembered the cheque that she had never thanked him for. It was a much larger sum than she was entitled to, even with the house included, but somehow she had never been able to write and thank him. 'Thank you for your cheque,' she said stiffly, quite unable to meet his eyes. 'It was more than I should have had,' she ended lamely.
'Blast the cheque! ' exploded Kade savagely. 'I didn't come to talk about that.'
Tanya's lovely grey-green eyes met his squarely. 'What did you come for, Kade? To see how I'm faring?' She moved away from him, her slim back straight, and did a little pirouette as she turned to face him. 'I'm very well, as you can see,' she said lightly. 'Now what else can we talk about? Or shall I show you the garden? It really is worth seeing,' she added, on a rising note of panic as she saw Kade stride purposefully towards her. 'I'm not in your territory now, Kade Player,' she said, as she backed towards the door. 'This is Lloyd's house.'
She might have known she wouldn't be allowed to reach the door, and found herself jerked into Kade's arms with a force that knocked the breath out of her. 'Leading with your chin, as usual,' he said grimly, as he put a hard hand under her chin making her look up at him.
The bliss of finding herself in those strong arms of his once more was marred by what had gone before, and her interpretation of the news in Connie's letter. Was
this a last fling of his before he committed himself to one woman? Whoever she was, she would never hear of it; she was miles away and Kade was safe from onlookers.
Why must he always pick on her? she thought wildly, as she struggled to free herself. Why couldn't he pick on someone else for a change? 'Taking a last bite at forbidden fruit?' she asked him bitterly, when she realised that he was not going to let her go.
'Who said it was forbidden?' Kade asked softly, his eyes on her soft lips.
'You did,' said Tanya breathlessly, making another futile bid for freedom because she knew that he was going to kiss her.
There was a hint of mockery in his blue eyes as his lips neared hers. 'Seeing h
ow scratched I got in collecting that fruit I think I deserve it,' he murmured, before his lips met hers.
Kade had kissed her before, but not like this. At first it was gentle and reassuring, feather light and teasing to the senses, then it took on an entirely different meaning. It was possessive, yet persuasive, and it melted Tanya's bones to jelly.
When his lips left hers, she was completely drained of all opposition to his wishes. She knew a deep fear, a helplessness that she had never known before. Her wide pleading eyes gazed into his hooded ones. 'Give me a chance, Kade,' she whispered, in an agonised voice. If he kissed her like that again then she would be lost, and she was asking him not to and to leave her alone to try and make the best out of what little happiness she would have left when he had gone.
'I gave you a chance,' he said gruffly, 'and it cost me too much. I can't afford to give you another one. You're
coming back with me, my girl, and this time we'll do things right.'
Tanya's muddled senses could make no headway of this at all. What did he mean? Was he talking about the cheque he had given her? 'You can have it back, Kade,' she said, taking the opportunity of slipping out of range of his arms. 'I've still got it.'
Kade's lips thinned at this. 'I guess we're still at cross-purposes,' he said quietly, and before Tanya could move, he had her back in his arms again. 'I said you're coming back with me. You can keep the cheque as a wedding present. Buy yourself one of those white trailing dresses with orange blossom on it, or whatever you fancy wearing at our wedding. Just as long as you say the right words at the right time for a change, I don't much care,' he ordered autocratically, 'but I ought to warn you, it's going to be a big occasion.'
Tanya could only stare at him. 'Our wedding,' he had said. She still couldn't believe it. He hadn't asked her to marry him, and surely he ought to have done? Her heart skipped a beat as the thought occurred to her that he might just have wanted her to be present at his wedding. She swallowed. 'Would you mind being a little more explicit?' she asked in a small voice.
Kade's answer was given in a typically Kade-like way, and she was left in no doubt of what he had in mind.
As he told her in a slightly gruff voice a little later, 'At this rate you won't be wearing white. I don't think we're going to have time to wait to hear the banns read!'
A little while later they strolled in Lloyd's flower-scented gardens, and Tanya felt as if she were dreaming, only the hard reassuring pressure of Kade's hand
in hers told her that it wasn't a dream and was actually happening. 'Did you miss me very much?' she asked, in a low half-teasing voice, wanting yet again to hear that he loved her. 'Why didn't you come sooner? I've had eight weeks of misery,' she accused him gently.
'Because I promised Lloyd,' was Kade's quiet reply.
Tanya glanced up at him; she could just discern his strong features in the gathering dusk. 'Promised Lloyd?' she repeated. 'What did you promise Lloyd?' she asked curiously.
'That I'd leave you alone for a couple of months,' Kade answered. 'He knew I was crazy about you, and he didn't want you pushed into anything until you were sure of your own mind.'
He was silent for a few moments before he added, 'There was the question of age, too. I guess he felt much as I did about that. I'd intended to let you go anyway. Remember what you said about not making the mistake of falling for an older man?' he reminded her, rather cruelly Tanya thought, but she forgave him. 'Then you declared an interest in the antiquated species, due, you said, to my enlightenment,' he added teasingly. 'It didn't leave me much of an excuse for not going ahead and claiming what I felt was mine.'
His arm crept round her waist and he pulled her close to him. 'I warned Lloyd then that he might be travelling alone.' His grip on her tightened, but Tanya didn't mind the discomfort. 'But his objections were so near my previous thoughts on the matter that I knew he was right. In a sense I wasn't giving you a chance. I knew that you were as attracted to me as I was to you, but I was old enough to know the real thing when it happened. You weren't, and it would have been my bad
luck if it had only been a passing attraction on your part. Either way, I had to give you that chance.'
'Is that why you didn't come to my farewell dinner?' Tanya asked, caressing his strong jaw with a loving finger, and remembering the desolation she had felt at his absence.
Kade caught her hand and kissed it. 'It was hard enough letting you go,' he said softly, 'but sitting opposite you at the dinner table and realising that I was probably going to lose you for good was more than I could take. Besides,' his lips touched the golden crown of her head, 'I couldn't trust myself to adhere to my good intentions. I tried to rile you into a tantrum in the study, if you remember. I wanted a chance to hold you in my arms again, and if that had happened—' he gave a casual shrug, 'you wouldn't have left with Lloyd the following day.'
He kissed her gently. 'If you've been miserable these past few weeks, imagine what I felt like, knowing that my golden girl was dancing the night hours away in someone else's arms.' His arms tightened around her, enclosing her in an action that was both protective and possessive. 'Don't grow up too fast, my darling,' he whispered against her hair. 'I love you just the way you are.'
You didn't grow old, Tanya thought mistily, not deep inside you when you had everything to live for as she had, and as her lips met his she thought of Orchard House and the extensions he had had put in hand. He had not intended to accept a refusal from her, and she ought to have been slightly shocked at his ruthless determination to achieve his goal. Instead, she felt immensely proud that such a man should love her.