“Ever since the day my father whipped me and locked me up, Kyle had not been allowed to be alone with me in the house. Kyle told me how our parents forbade him to come home after school. They had instructed him to go to our uncle’s house every day after school and stay there until our mother could pick him up.”
“Kyle said he broke the rule because he missed me and wanted to talk to me. He expected to get in trouble for disobeying our father, but he didn’t care.”
“‘What did you do, Brianna? When are they letting you out?’ He kept asking over and over through the door. He was so sweet. I could hear it in his sweet voice how worried he was about me. I told him I’d explain later, but first I needed him to deliver a message to my friend Billy who lived about three miles away from our house.”
“I wrote on a piece of paper that my parents had locked me up in my bedroom for over a month and wouldn’t let me out. I folded the piece of paper and slipped it under the door. I instructed Kyle to get the note to Billy and no one else. Kyle took the piece of paper, got his bike out of the garage and rushed to deliver the note to Billy.”
“About half an hour later, I heard the sound of a truck pulling into our driveway. It was Billy and Kyle. Within seconds, Billy was on the other side of my door asking me why I had been locked up and if I was okay. I told him I’d explain later and begged him to get me out of there. I was afraid either one of my parents would come home early. I could only imagine the punishment I would’ve received if that had happened.”
“Billy tried to pick the lock, but being the hot head that he was, he gave that up pretty quickly. He told me to get away from the door and just shot the lock open with his hunting rifle.”
“After Billy busted the door open, Kyle ran in to hug me. It felt so good to see him again. He was a little shaken up from the gun shots but very happy to see me. I sent Kyle out of the room so I could tell Billy why my parents had locked me up.”
“Billy was furious when I told him. He had always known I was gay and had been very supportive. I told Billy why I was locked up, but didn’t tell him what Pastor Miller had been doing to me. I couldn’t tell him. Billy was in love with me. Had been since we met in grade school and still is, I think. If I had told him everything, he’d be in prison right now for murder.”
“I did tell Billy I needed to disappear before my parents showed up. Billy helped me stuff some of my things in a suitcase and drove me to his house. Before I left, I wrote a note to my parents. I simply told them to stay away from me. I warned them not to come looking for me and try to bring me back because if they did, everyone was going to know what Dad and Pastor Miller had done to me.”
“I was very explicit in the note about what Dad and Pastor Miller did to me. I was already eighteen so they had no legal power to track me down and bring me back against my will. But that hadn’t stopped my father from locking me up in the first place, so I needed to threaten them with a scandal to ensure they wouldn’t look for me, find me, and lock me up again.”
“I told Kyle I needed to go away, but that I’d try to keep in touch. He began to cry and begged me to stay. He was so confused and scared, it broke my heart. He was only thirteen years old. I was sad to leave him. He was the only one in that house who cared about me. I was not worried about him getting in trouble with my parents. Kyle was my parent’s favorite. He was the apple of their eye. I knew they wouldn’t punish him for letting me out.”
“Before I left the house for good, I gave Kyle the note I had written for my parents and told him to give it to them when they got home. I told Kyle not to read the note, but he probably read it anyway. My guess is he asked my parents to explain the note, and they denied everything I had written and trashed me to Kyle.”
“That’s why he hates me, Abby. My father convinced him I made up what I wrote in the note. Kyle could not wrap his head around the fact that our father, who he considered his hero and the most honorable man he knew, could be capable of plotting with Miller and allowing the bastard to do the heinous things he did to me. So he chose to believe my parents and not me.”
“It’s okay, though. I understand. He was just a kid. He did not know the side of my parents that I knew. My parents went out of their way to hide their heartless treatment of me from Kyle. They loved Kyle and hated me. Kyle was their pride and joy and wasn’t suffering from any ‘sickness’ like I was.”
“He was the all-American boy: straight-A student, captain of the football team, God fearing boy. I was the C student, forever-in-detention, deviant freak who seduced and corrupted innocent high school girls.”
“I used to resent Kyle for getting all the love and understanding my parents withheld from me, but I don’t anymore. It wasn’t his fault. I don’t resent him for believing my father and not me either. He was just a kid at the time, an innocent kid who had been brainwashed by his simple-minded, fanatical parents.”
“I don’t hate him, Abby. Never have. It pisses me off that as an adult, he still chooses to cling to outdated beliefs. It frustrates me that a grown man who is as intelligent and rational as him can still be so closed minded, but I don’t hate him. I can’t hate him. I owe him my life. I probably wouldn’t be alive today if it weren’t for him. Who knows what I would’ve done if he hadn’t come home that day and helped me escape?”
Abby unwrapped her arms from Brianna’s shoulders and reached for Brianna’s head. She cradled Brianna’s head with both hands and pulled it down towards her waist. With Brianna’s head gently resting on her lap, Abby untied the bun on top of Brianna’s head and began to massage her scalp.
“What happened after you left the house? Where did you go?” Abby asked.
Brianna let out a soft moan and closed her eyes, almost losing herself in the feel of Abby’s fingers stroking her scalp. After a brief break, she continued with her story.
“After I wrote the note, I left Kyle at our house and drove with Billy to his with my suitcase. Billy and I both knew I couldn’t stay at his house. He was my best friend. His house would have been the first place my parents would have gone looking for me.”
“I couldn’t go stay with any of my relatives either. After my parents explained to them why they had locked me up, all of my relatives would have sided with my parents and given me up. So Billy called a cousin of his who lived in L.A. and asked her to take me in for a few days. Billy took whatever little savings he had, bought me a one-way ticket and put me in the first bus to L.A. By the time my parents learned I had broken out of the room, I was miles away from them.”
“You must have been really scared,” Abby remarked, still running her fingers through Brianna’s untamable hair.
“I was. I mean, one day I’m a high school student without a care in the world, the next I’m running for my life with no money and going to live in another state with someone I’d never met. But what else could I do? I had no other options.”
“Who knows how much more of Miller’s special therapy I was going to have to endure. At some point, he probably would’ve gotten bored with me and gone away to find another easy target, but I couldn’t just wait him out. If I had stayed, one of us would’ve ended up dead.”
“What happened when you got to L.A.?” Abby asked.
“Billy’s cousin was really nice. She was appalled at what my father had done to me and assured me I’d be safe with her. She took really good care of me. I owe her and Billy a debt of gratitude.”
“What’s her name?”
“Andrea. She is an aspiring musician and a total hippie. I had so much fun hanging with her and her friends. She helped me get a job waiting tables, and I eventually moved out of her apartment, but we’re still great friends. She is one of the few genuine people I’ve met in L.A. since I moved there.”
“What happened with your parents?” Abby asked. “Did they try to find you and bring you back?”
“Yes. Even though I threatened to go to the police, my father still tried to coerce Billy into telling him where I was. Somehow m
y father figured out Billy was the one who had helped me escape. My bedroom door being riddled with bullets must have been his first clue, or maybe Kyle told them. I don’t know.”
“Billy did not tell my father anything no matter how much my father threatened him. My father eventually gave up the search, and he and my mother started to pretend I didn’t exist.”
“What about Kyle? Did you stay in touch with him?”
“I tried. I sent him several emails over the course of the first five years I was in L.A., but he didn’t answer any of them. I even mailed him a really nice birthday present once, and he returned it unopened. I had a feeling my parents had turned him against me, and that’s why he ignored me and rejected the present.”
“Then two years ago, out of nowhere, I received an email from him. It said our dad was really sick and didn’t have much time to live. The email also said our mom wanted me to come home and see Dad before it was too late.”
“What about the pastor? What happened to him?”
“I heard that a few months after I left Montana, he unexpectedly moved with his wife and kids to another state. No one knows why he left or where he went.”
“That monster should be rotting in prison for what he did to you. Why didn’t you go to the police, Brianna?”
Brianna shrugged. “I don’t know. I guess I was afraid no one would believe me. Glen Falls is run by extreme religious fundamentalists. Miller was a highly respected member of our church and the community, and I was known as the perverter of innocent girls.”
“It was going to be his word against mine, and I was going to lose. Besides, getting Miller thrown in jail would have meant getting my dad thrown in jail too. I didn’t want that. Not because I cared about him, but because I didn’t want Kyle to grow up without a father. That would have screwed me up pretty badly.”
Abby was amazed at how much Brianna loved her brother even though he had been so vicious to her. “You have done so much to protect him. You don’t deserve to be treated the way he treats you. You have to talk to him and make him see the truth.”
“It’s pointless, Abby. He will never believe me. The only person who could convince him I was telling the truth about the whole thing is my mother, and she won’t talk. She will go to her grave with that secret. She does not want Kyle’s memory of his father to be tarnished.”
“I can’t believe your mother went along with Miller’s scheme. What type of mother stands around and lets her little girl suffer like that?”
Brianna began to sob uncontrollably once again. Abby cradled her head with one hand and stroked her cheek with the other. After she had regained control of her tears, Brianna continued.
“My mother was so ashamed of me. People gossiping about me really got to her. She didn’t even want to be seen in public with me. I felt so unwanted in my own home. I would’ve probably run away anyways even if Miller had not done what he did to me, just to get away from her.”
“What’s your relationship with your mother like now?”
“After I ran away, I didn’t have contact with her again until I came home two years ago to see my father who was on his deathbed. She seemed glad to see me. We had a long chat, just her and me. She told me she never supported my father’s method of dealing with my sickness. She said she wanted to intervene, but was afraid of my father. She told me the guilt had been eating her inside and begged for my forgiveness.”
“Have you forgiven her?”
“I have, but I still don’t want her in my life. Anyone who chooses to call the way I live my life a sickness is not worth having around, even if that person gave me life.”
“Kyle also thinks you’re sick for liking girls. Why did you still want him in your life?”
“Kyle and I had a special bond growing up. He was my buddy, my partner in crime. I guess I thought he could learn to accept me with time, given that he is very reasonable and smart and from a younger generation than my parents. I was wrong. I know now he will never accept me.”
“What about your father? You visited him on his deathbed. Did he apologize to you?”
“No. After I got Kyle’s email telling me our father only had a few days or weeks to live, I went to see him. I wanted some closure. But my father went to his grave believing that what he had done, what he let Miller do to me was the right thing to do. He told me he’d do it again if could. His last words to me were that I was going to burn in Hell if I didn’t change my ways.”
“I watched him lie on that hospital bed and no longer felt hate for him. He looked so small and frail hooked to a bunch of machines. He was just a shell of his former self, coughing and gasping for air while judging me for something I have no control over.”
“I just felt sorry for him. So many great things were happening in my life. My career as an actress was starting to take off. I was starting to make really good money. I was proud of myself and wished I had a family I could share all those achievements with. But my father did not care. It didn’t matter to him how successful I was. In his mind, all that mattered was that I was sick and going to Hell.”
“During that hospital visit, Kyle treated me with so much disdain, it tore me up inside. I remember how he always had my back growing up. He would cover for me when I snuck out of the house and many times took the blame for things I did. But that day in that hospital, he acted like he didn’t want me there. My mother tried to get him to be civil to me, but Kyle refused to listen to her. I felt like Kyle was blaming me for my father’s cancer.”
“I had planned to stay in Montana until my father died but decided to return to L.A. the day after I visited him at the hospital. My father was a lost cause; they all were. A week later I got a call from my mother telling me my father had died.”
“My mother begged me to come home for the funeral, but I chose to skip it. What was the point of me being there? They all hated me, and my mother only wanted me there because she felt guilty for what she allowed my father and Miller to do to me.”
While Abby continued to stroke her hair and cheek, Brianna realized it was getting pretty late. She sat up and wiped her damp cheeks with the back of her hands.
“Well, now you know everything. I’m not an evil person, Abby. I’m not lying. My story may sound too sordid to believe, but it’s all true. I hope you believe me.”
“I do,” Abby replied. She believed every single word. No one could make up a story like that and cry the way Brianna did no matter how good an actor they were.
“You should go home, Abby. It’s getting late, and this city is very dangerous.”
Abby shook her hand. “I’m not going anywhere. You’re not well. I’m not leaving you like this.”
“I’m fine, really. You should go,” Brianna sniffled, her eyes red and puffy.
Abby reached out, cradled the side of Brianna’s face and stared into her eyes. “I’m not leaving. If you want me gone, you’re going to have to grab me by the arm and throw me out.”
“I told you, I don’t want your pity.”
Abby sighed. “I don’t pity you, Brianna. I could never pity you. I admire you. I admire your courage, your determination to not let what happened to you make you bitter. I wish that when I was eighteen I possessed a smidge of the bravery, strength and maturity you displayed seven years ago. And those tears, that vulnerability that you’ve shown me today, they don’t make you weak or pitiful. They make you human.”
“The things that happened to you are so awful, so horrific, they would’ve robbed anyone else of their sanity, but you’re still standing and fighting. It’s okay to cry. It’s okay to be angry. I’m not leaving. You’re not alone. I’m here for you. If you want to cry, I’ll cry with you. If you want to scream, I’ll scream with you. If you want to talk, I’ll listen. I will hold you until you fall asleep. Whatever you need me to do, I’m here for you.”
Brianna exhaled. A nervous chuckle escaped her lips, and her eyes began to well again. She lunged at Abby, wrapping her arms around her neck and holding
her tightly.
“Thank you so much for being here. You’re such a wonderful soul, Abigail Slone. You’re the kindest, sweetest person I’ve ever met.” Brianna bit her lower lip while resting her chin on Abby’s shoulder.
There were other things she wanted to say to Abby. She wanted to tell Abby how madly in love she was with her. She wanted to tell Abby she wanted to spend the rest of her life with her. She wanted to tell Abby she was never going to find someone as perfect as her no matter how hard she looked.
She also wanted to tell Abby she felt it was unfair that they had to swallow their feelings and stay away from each other just because it would be weird for Kyle. Yes, it was selfish for her to think like that, but she didn’t care.
Brianna wanted to break that hug and just crush Abby’s lips with hers. But Abby had already told her the type of relationship Brianna wanted with her was not possible. She knew how stubborn Abby was about everything so she decided to keep all of those thoughts to herself.
Brianna had no choice but to swallow her feelings. All Abby could offer her were her sympathetic ear and a shoulder to cry on. Brianna had to accept the fact that she and Abby were destined to be friends and nothing more.
“You need to rest. Let’s get you into bed,” Abby suggested after breaking their hug. Brianna nodded, thankful she wasn’t going to spend that night all alone. Abby got off the couch, took Brianna’s hand and led her to the bedroom.
A week earlier they had held hands and walked into a bedroom together. Things that were both wonderful and regretful happened between them that time. Things were very different this time around. That night there was no kissing, no touching, no exploration of sexual curiosity, no lovemaking. That night was all about a kind, caring soul providing much needed sympathy and comfort to another.
When they made it to the bedroom, Brianna crawled on top of her bed and laid on her side before curling in the fetal position. The conversation with Abby had left her emotionally drained. She was also physically exhausted from all the rehearsing she did that day. Her eyelids felt heavy, and every muscle in her body ached, but she didn't care because an overwhelming sense of peace was washing over her.
Betrayal: Brianna's Secret (The Betrayal Series) Page 6