Jonas studied him for a heavy beat. “Are you willing to gamble on that?”
“Any day of the week.”
After a tense moment, the king nodded. “Go to Coney Island. Once Roksana finds out what exactly her mother has sent her to retrieve, she’ll make her decision.” He rose from the table. “But if she makes the wrong one, it’s up to you, Elias, to make sure that bargaining chip doesn’t end up in the wrong hands. Even if it means betraying your mate. I won’t have this kingdom crumble before I’ve even had the chance to build it.”
Elias nodded tightly, the urge to go gather Roksana close burning him like a fever.
He wouldn’t go to her again tonight, though. He needed to think. To prepare himself for the potential calamity ahead. No matter what happened, he would see that Roksana lived. She had her vengeance and her mother’s love driving her. He had his undying love for his slayer.
Heart heavy, Elias stood to leave the room, but Jonas’s voice halted him at the threshold. “Elias. Before you go…” The king flicked a glance at Tucker who, interpreting Jonas’s request for privacy, lumbered from the room at his preferred human speed.
“Yes?” Elias prompted, crossing his arms.
“You’ve always kept your secrets and I’ve respected that. But I have a kingdom and a mate to protect now.” Jonas settled a fist on the table. “You might have absolute faith in Roksana. She does not have the same level of faith in you, however.”
Elias’s voice was as raw as his insides. “What are you trying to say?”
“I’m saying you keep things from her that could paint you in a stronger light, yet you don’t take those opportunities. All so that Roksana can have her almighty vengeance.” Jonas reclined in his chair. “I will and have taken those opportunities, not only because I have cause to be strategic now. But because you’re being self-destructive.”
“So what if I am? I’m not reasonable when it comes to her. I can’t be,” Elias growled. “You understand this feeling well, don’t you? It was only a few months ago you arrived at this hold to die so Ginny could live a free, happy life.”
“And your actions that day are part of the reason I didn’t. Why I have the privilege of calling her my wife now and keeping her eternally.” He leaned forward. “You have more worth than her vengeance, Elias. Start believing that before it’s too late.”
CHAPTER NINETEEN
Roksana rolled her neck right to left, shuffling her feet agilely on the mat. Sweat soaked the tank top and yoga pants Ginny had helpfully left in the guest room. She’d woken alone in bed, anxiety pouring down on her like a waterfall as soon as she opened her eyes. Dressing quickly and securing her hair in a ponytail, she’d gone prowling, looking for a place to blow off steam. There were dozens of floors in the vampire hold and she’d chosen to go down, away from the upstairs bedrooms and beneath the great hall in search of space.
There wasn’t a treadmill in existence that could go fast enough to make it worthwhile for a vampire, nor did it make sense for them to lift weights. Their bodies would never change from the form it was in upon their Silencing. At best, she’d been hoping for an empty room, but she’d found a massive training facility instead. A blue mat covered the entire floor area of the room, mirrors made up the walls, dummies hung from ropes.
And based on the half-full blood bags and weaponry scattered on the mat, it had been recently used. With slayings on the rise in the States, it was prudent for Jonas to be holding training sessions with his closest assets and advisors. Seeing the evidence of their preparations, however, really made it hit home that the vampires she’d grown to care for were in danger. Elias was in danger. From her own kind.
From her?
With a sound of distress, Roksana whirled and struck her invisible opponent’s neck with the flat of her foot, followed by a hitch kick to the jaw, a series of stunning punches. Back to the start again, her sides heaving, muscles on the verge of turning to jelly. She tucked and rolled, springing up with her right arm ready to strike, bringing it down, her fist closed around an imaginary stake. She tried to picture Elias on the other side of the blow and her will to stand or breathe or think deserted her, dropping her heavily to the mat.
“No.”
She knelt there for several moments, staring at her exhausted reflection in the mirror, her labored inhales loud in the cavernous room. The girl looking back at her was a lot of things. She’d lived two lives, it seemed. But there had always been a common thread of stubbornness. A quick temper. Skepticism. She considered none of those things a fault. They kept a lot of bullshit at bay. On the more positive side, however, she’d always considered herself to be a loyal person to the bone. Once a loyal friend and now loyal to the slayer cause.
Faithfulness meant seeing things in black and white. Putting down her hard head and powering through. Always knowing the right direction to turn, the right cause to fight for. But now she stood in a valley between two mountains, unable to pick which one to climb. One represented Inessa and the slayerhood. Duty. The other was Elias and the unlikely but fulfilling friendships she’d formed with the vampires. Both of the mountains had their share of hazards.
Inessa’s mountain was harsh, unforgiving and she could never quite find her footing or a handhold. Oh, but reaching the top would be so glorious. The view would be breathtaking and she could finally find that elusive fulfilment she’d always pined for as a daughter. Even now, a cavity in her chest yawned wide, praying for that approval only a mother could provide.
Elias’s mountain…it was almost like she’d already reached the top. He stood there with her, angling her toward the best breezes, always remaining that safe presence at her back. But how long could she really stay on top of feel-good mountain? Elias was immortal. Being with him meant hard decisions. Disobeying her mother. Staying human or…not, unless she wanted to grow old while he remained the same forever. So while she might be on top of that breathtaking landform right now, eventually she might have to jump off and plunge into a bottomless ocean, forsaking Inessa’s mountain forever in the process.
Awareness tickled her spine. Before Roksana even opened her eyes, she knew she would find Elias framed in the entrance of the training room. And God, he was electric. He stood leaning against the doorjamb, eyes serious and rapt, head tipped forward, arms crossed. So still, yet swarming with magnetism. His jeans hugged his thighs, the soft cotton of his T-shirt practically clamoring to get as close as possible to his sinewy stomach and arms. Indecent and effortless and hers. Her mate. The man whose life was braided together with her own, impossible to unravel.
Did she want to? Had she ever really wanted to, even in the darkest hour?
She swallowed hard and dropped the eye contact they made in the mirror, rubbing at her overworked wrists. “I would invite you to spar, but you’ve always refused to fight me.”
“I fight with you, not against you.” He pushed off the doorframe and prowled toward where she knelt on the mat, a quivering seed of awareness germinating more and more in her belly with every step he took in her direction. “In light of what you said last night about wanting to feel my strength, though…maybe I’ll make a small exception.”
Roksana’s eyes flew to his in the mirror. “Really?”
“You need it.” Elias whipped off his shirt and threw it aside, leaving him in nothing but worn-in jeans and that maddening scent of pine. “Don’t you, baby?”
Dizzy at the sight of his S.W.A.T. Daddy body on display, she hummed an affirmative and rose to her feet, though unsteady at the turn of events. “You can call me baby in the bedroom, but if you call me that in combat, I will rattle your brain.”
His smile turned her nipples to hard, little buds and he didn’t pretend not to notice. “You sure it’s fighting you want?”
“Da! I’m not letting this opportunity pass.” She was already breathless, just being this close, witnessing the tight tics of his jaw, triceps, pecs. Vampire circled slayer. It was in that moment that Roksana realized she�
��d never enjoyed a single fight over the last three years, no matter how much she’d lied to herself. There had always been desperation involved. Fear of failing her mother. A feeling like she was in someone else’s reality, trying unsuccessfully to make herself fit.
There was safety here with Elias. The appreciation in his gaze, the affection, even the secrets comforted her. Anticipation warmed her blood. Excitement. Attraction.
Belonging.
Elias was behind her now, raising the fine hairs on the back of her neck. Roksana balanced on the balls of her feet, wiggling her fingers at her sides. She shuffled nimbly, willing adrenaline into her legs and without warning she pivoted and delivered a high kick in the direction of his chin. He narrowly avoided the strike, but without using his otherworldly speed.
“Don’t hold back on me,” she breathed, advancing on him.
They moved across the mat in a choreographed dance, Roksana spinning, kicking, throwing punches, but he moved just out of her reach every time, ducking, evading, and finally he crouched, sweeping her legs out from under her with a low, arcing kick. Roksana eliminated the angles and rolled when she hit the mat, springing off the mat, finally catching him in the face with a sharp right hook.
Watching in slow motion as his head jerked back, Roksana’s heart lurched in her ribcage and her footing faltered, arms going slack at her sides. She’d actually hit him. After all this time, she’d done something to cause him pain. She’d always thought the world would stop spinning when she finally did it, but all she felt was…his approval, along with her own.
“Nice,” was all he said, beckoning her forward again with sexy chagrin. “That fucking hurt.”
Joy carried a laugh up from her belly, filling her mouth. An image of her mother standing above her while she bled on the floor of the library flickered in her mind. The sound of disgusted laughter. The shame, the anguish, the yearning for affection crowding in her throat while she stretched up a hand to Inessa and was denied.
There was none of that darkness here with Elias. There was sweet welcoming completion. His encouragement opened a dam of emotion inside of her and the rush was so powerful, she gasped under the deluge. She’d been wrong all along. Oh God, she’d been so very wrong about him and now her loyalty would have to expand. It had to expand to include both mountains. Was that even possible? She didn’t know. But she had to try.
When she made no move to continue the fight, the tension unlocked Elias’s muscles and the concentration on his face turned to concern. “What’s wrong?”
“Jonas showed me the videotape,” she blurted, pressing her hands to her burning cheeks. “He showed me the videotape of that night in the chapel.”
Vampires were pale by nature, but his complexion leached of even more color. “Videotape?”
Heat welled up behind her eyes, but she forced the tears away. Breathed through the sorrow and firmed her chin. She wouldn’t court sympathy she didn’t deserve. “You didn’t hurt my friends, Elias. You didn’t even touch them. You just protected me.” She held up her palms, disarmed of her hate, her weapons, her war against him. “I was wrong. You didn’t want to be Silenced, did you? Instead, it was me that brought this on you.”
He stared at a spot over her shoulder, jaw rigid. Nothing was said for several seconds, until, “I’m glad I didn’t directly kill your friends. Of course I am.”
“Not directly or indirectly,” she sputtered. “I saw you on the tape. How you were that night. You couldn’t have done anything to stop it. You were—”
A choked sound left him and he turned away, a shudder traveling through his broad shoulders. When he turned and ticked his eyes back to Roksana’s they were confusingly guarded.
“Whether or not that’s true, Roksana, it doesn’t mean you’re to blame instead.”
“It does,” she insisted. “At least partly.”
“No,” he barked. “I’m not letting you take the blame for what I can’t remember.”
Roksana reared back. “You would remember wanting to be a vampire. Seeking out the means to do it.”
Elias rolled a restless shoulder. “Leave it alone, Roksana.”
“Leave it alone?” She recoiled from the suggestion that she not take responsibility for her mistakes. “You have been pissed with me for years. Now when I really deserve a good ‘fuck you, I told you so,’ you’re just letting me slide? I don’t think so.” He raked a hand through his hair and snorted. but not even the play of delicious muscle could distract her from the point. Was Elias protecting her from something, like he always did? But from what? She didn’t want to be spared from the blame. If she’d earned the burden, she would damn well carry it. “Fine. If you choose to deny me any responsibility for you being made immortal against your will, you have another reason to curse my name.”
Temper flared in his eyes, power coiling in his biceps. “I will never curse your name.”
Dread swamped her, but she pushed through. She owed him full honesty. “Not even if killing you is part of my mission from Inessa?”
Her admission ripped the wind out of his sails. He opened his mouth to speak, choked a little and swallowed before finding his voice. “Not even then.”
A shudder wracked her, legs turning unsteady. “Because I won’t do it. I can’t. I can’t.” She shook her head vigorously, words spilling from her mouth in a jumbled torrent. “Not even if you killed them. Not ever.” His eyes started to glitter, his nostrils flaring. “You’re…you’re mine. I’m yours. I can’t do it, Elias. I could never—”
In a blur of movement, he enfolded Roksana in his arms, crushing her to his chest. “Shhh, mate. My beautiful Roksana. Everything is going to be all right.”
Being held by him was the ultimate anchor and she clung, soaking him in. “I’ll tell my mother about the video,” she said against his throat. “About what really happened that night. I’ll tell her you weren’t involved and request she no longer demand an eye for an eye.”
Roksana wisely left it unspoken that she would beg and barter with Inessa. That she would offer servitude if necessary to keep Elias from being eliminated. It would be her penance for spending three years punishing him for a crime he didn’t commit. If Inessa demanded she walk away from Elias altogether, she would do it to spare him, except he needed his mate’s blood to survive now. They couldn’t be apart. What was she going to do?
Elias must have sensed her panic because his arms tightened, lifting, her bare feet leaving the floor. “We’ll face her together.”
“No.” She tried to wriggle free of his grasp, but Elias’s arms were forged in steel. “She will wield her stake and ask questions later. You could be killed before we have the chance to explain!”
“The same could happen to you!” he raged against her temple, his big body shaking. “Don’t ask me to allow the woman I love more than life itself to put herself in danger. We go together. We do everything together from now on, Roksana. I’d rather be dead than separated from you, don’t you understand that?”
Tears that would no longer be held at bay blurred her vision, her lungs seizing with so many emotions she couldn’t name them all. Happiness, dread, disbelief were chief among them. “I lay my transgressions out in front of you and I get love in return?”
“Yes.”
This. This was unconditional love. And she was beginning to believe she’d been looking for it in the wrong place all along. Then and there, clinging to her vampire for everything she was worth, Roksana vowed on her own honor that she would not let that faith be misplaced.
She would keep it safe and sound.
Keeping them safe came first, though…and that would be much more difficult.
CHAPTER TWENTY
“Please remain seated at all times,” Tucker called through the open window of his black Impala as Elias and Roksana emerged from the vampire hold. Exhaust sputtered out into the night air, creating a gray, twisting cloud that matched the one coming from their chauffer’s cigar. “Tucker is not responsible f
or lost or stolen property or anyone’s inability to appreciate a good fart joke.”
After a quick shower and a change into one of Ginny’s vintage dresses—and another round of cookies for the human—they were leaving for Coney Island. Saying goodbye to her friend had been hard, but not as hard as she’d imagined it would be upon arriving. She’d been mired in doubt and guilt this time yesterday. Now her path was clear. Her decision to approach Inessa and plead Elias’s innocence was a thousand-pound weight gone from her shoulders, even though she knew the negotiation would not be easy.
The trial would be worth it.
Elias loved her.
Roksana was carried toward Tucker’s car in a warm safety net and it was a scary, beautiful imprisonment. She didn’t want out. Lord no. But knowing she couldn’t escape nudged her flight or fight instinct, as much as her heart tried to subdue it. As much as she wanted to give herself over entirely to Elias, without a single reservation, the tell-tale heart of guilt still ticked away under her floorboards. All those hours her mother had spent training her, coaching her through the worst grief imaginable…and she’d once again arrive a failure in Inessa’s eyes. If it wasn’t for Elias’s steadying presence, her calm would have deserted her.
Elias’s palm curved protectively to the base of her spine, his thumb brushing casually across the valley of her bottom, causing her intimate muscles to flex.
Okay, calm might be an exaggeration.
“Shotgun,” Roksana said, a little breathily.
Would she ever not sound out of breath after tonight?
I’d rather be dead than separated from you, don’t you understand that?
The magnitude of what transpired between them in the gym had discombobulated her. There were so many unknowns yet to solve, but sex was not one of them. She’d been anxious to bring the focus back to the physical burn between them. Almost desperate to do so.
While she showered and prepared to leave, Elias had sat watchfully on the end of the guest room bed, thick thighs in a manspread, hands clasped loosely between his knees. She’d let him observe, the shower curtain pulled back, water pooling on the floor, positive he would storm the bathroom any moment and reward her for being a tease. But he’d simply continued to stare, a vein ticking in his temple, a host of mysterious thoughts whirring behind his eyes. The seduction attempt had left Roksana critically hot and bothered. Elias seemed to know it, too, taking every opportunity to graze fingertips across her hip bone or twist his grip in the hem of her borrowed dress.
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