“Not cocky when it’s the truth.”
I wave my hand in front of me, smiling. “Let’s go, big talker. My uncles are waiting.”
“Now, she’s in a hurry,” he mutters, lifting his arm and settling his hand on my headrest.
I turn my head, our eyes locking for a moment. I blink, my mouth dry, my body hot. The way he’s been looking at me is different from how he used to. I always felt invisible around Jett, but that was five years ago when I barely had any boobs and was never this close to him. Now, I feel like he’s always staring at me, but not in that creeper way—in a way that says anything is possible.
I squirm a little when he smirks, averting my eyes and facing forward again as he backs the truck out of the driveway. When he drops his hand away from my seat, his fingers brush my shoulder, and goose bumps spread across my skin.
Lord have mercy. I’m so lame. The man touched me in the most innocent way, and my body’s acting like we’re about to get busy and christen the front seat of his shiny, new black pickup.
“ALFA?” he asks, the air around us heavy.
I nod, staring out the window, forcing myself not to look at Jett nor trusting myself enough to speak. I can’t deny Jett wants me as much as I want him, but that doesn’t mean it’s a good idea for either of us to act on our physical need. Even kissing will change everything, and with living together, that could spell disaster.
I will not kiss him. I will not kiss him. But God, how I want to. I wonder about the softness of his lips, the softness of his tongue. What would having sex with him be like? Would it be soft and long, or hard and fast? And then there’s the piercing. I still can’t wrap my head around why any man would add jewelry to his cock, even if it’s supposed to be more pleasurable for a woman.
I shake my head, trying to quiet the sexual thoughts from going any deeper.
“You okay?” he asks, touching my knee.
My eyes widen as he squeezes the same knee. “Fine,” I squeak, my voice breaking on the single word.
“You look flushed.” He glides his thumb across the skin of my knee, making those earlier goose bumps seem like child’s play.
“Nope. I couldn’t be better,” I blurt out, cringing because, goddamn, that sounded kind of wanton and needy.
“Good,” he says, not moving his hand away, leaving it there like this is something we do every day. “Thinking about what you want if you win?”
I nod, keeping my mouth shut because, holy fuck, Jett’s still touching me. I try to breathe, concentrating on inhaling and exhaling at a normal pace so I don’t hyperventilate. The normally quick drive to ALFA seems to go on forever, my eyes glued to the road and my mind on Jett’s hand that stays on my knee.
As soon as we’re in the parking lot, I’m out of the truck, heading toward the office like I’m about to pee my pants. Jett’s heavy footsteps follow, keeping pace a few feet away.
“I’ll make this quick,” he says from behind me.
“No rush,” I say without looking at him.
As I reach for the door, he somehow maneuvers his body to get in front of me, grabbing the handle first. “Allow me,” he says, being a gentleman and adding one more reason why I should give in and stop fighting my crazy attraction to him.
I peer up, biting down on my lip to stop myself from throwing my arms around this hunk of a man and begging him to take my V-card.
“Sugar,” Aunt Angel says as soon as the door opens, breaking the awkward moment. “I was hoping Jett would bring your pretty face in here today.”
“Auntie,” I say cheerfully, pushing away the nervous energy Jett’s closeness seems to instill in me. “I’m so happy you’re here.”
She rounds her desk, holding out her arms to me. “Come give me some loving.” I practically leap into her arms as she rests her head on my shoulder, gazing at Jett. “You’re next,” she tells him, laughing so hard, my body shakes with her.
“Auntie,” I whisper, unable to stop my smile.
“Oh, hush. I’m not going to get fresh with your man.”
“He’s not—” I start to say, but she pats me on the back, her way of telling me to shut up.
“Jett.” Uncle Thomas’s voice makes me jump because he came out of nowhere. Something he’s always done, and I’ve never been able to figure out.
Angel backs away, letting go of me, and turns to her husband, smiling at him. “You ready for him, handsome?” she asks, batting her eyelashes.
Uncle Thomas smiles, staring at his wife in a way I can only describe as gross. I’ve seen that look on my father’s face a million times when he stares at my mother. At what age do people stop thinking about sex? I always pictured old people with very little libido, but even judging from my grandparents, I’d say I was one hundred percent wrong.
Uncle Thomas slides his hand through his dark hair, blowing out a breath like he’s trying to cool himself off. “We won’t be long, Angel. You and I have a lunch date.”
By the way he says lunch date and the way my aunt’s blushing, I’d say there wasn’t going to be an ounce of food put into their mouths.
Aunt Angel twists her red hair around the end of her finger. “I’ll be waiting.” She winks.
“Uh,” I mutter, feeling more uncomfortable watching them than I did in the truck with Jett’s hand on my knee.
“This way,” Uncle Thomas says to Jett, motioning toward the long hallway leading to the offices.
Aunt Angel wraps her arm around my middle, moving me toward her desk. She already has a spare chair sitting next to hers, waiting for me. “Come sit with me while the boys talk. We need to catch up without the others around.”
Jett’s eyes flicker to me for a second before he follows Thomas down the hallway and disappears from sight. I pull at the scoop neck collar of my tank top, it’s hot even in the air-conditioned office.
“That boy is wound tight,” she tells me before my butt touches the chair.
I pause, gawking at my aunt. “Pardon?”
“He wants you something fierce.”
I blink, sitting slowly. “I don’t think so,” I whisper. “I mean, he’s flirty. But that’s Jett. I’m trying not to read too much into it.”
“He always look at you like he’s about to devour you?”
I nod, swallowing hard.
She grabs my hand, closing her fingers around mine. “Girl, that boy has it bad for you. Now, the question is, what are you going to do about it?”
I shrug, dropping my head forward, staring at our hands. “Nothing, Auntie. I can’t.”
Her soft fingertips touch my chin, forcing me to look at her. “Why not, child?”
“I’ve always had a thing for Jett, and if we do something and it ends badly…”
She gives me a pained smile, squeezing my hand. “Listen, baby. I may not be book smart with a degree hanging on the wall, but I know men. That man has it something awful for you. And as for if it ends badly, no one knows how anything’s going to go. You can’t let fear of the unknown hold you back from going after what you want.”
“But what if he breaks my heart?” I whisper.
“Life is a risk. There’s no certainty from one day to the next. But life is also about living. I don’t want you to look back someday, wondering what could’ve been because you were too chickenshit to let go of that fear. You only live once, babe. You’re young. Have fun, let that hair down, and go after what you want. Worry about the consequences when and if they come.”
“You make it sound so easy,” I mutter.
“Lily, there’s nothing easier than loving someone. It’s getting out of your own way that’s the hard part.”
11
Lily
“We need house rules,” Jett says as he strolls onto the rooftop patio, shirtless. “Guidelines we both have to follow.”
I go back to my book, trying to keep my gaze off his bare chest. We’ve been living together for five days, and nothing about the situation has been easy. “Like clothing isn’t optio
nal,” I murmur behind the pages, eyes glued to the words.
The cushion dips near my feet, but I still don’t look at him. “Babe, how am I supposed to work on my tan with a shirt on?”
I shrug, licking my finger, and turn to the next page without having read what was on the last. “I don’t know, but you walk around here half naked most of the time and not just to sunbathe.”
Jett laughs as he rests his hand across the top of my feet. “Does my body repulse you?”
“No,” I blurt out, but know I have to backtrack. “Your body is fine. Not fine like it’s sexy, because I don’t look at you like that.” Oh my God. I’m lying and doing a sucktastic job, babbling and unable to stop myself. “It’s good. Shit,” I groan, covering my face with my hand. “I mean, it’s not repulsive.”
Fuck.
I could’ve just said no, but I had to keep going. I have this issue every time he’s around. It’s as if I have no filter, and the things that come out of my mouth are usually inappropriate and so against my usual nature.
Jett’s laugh shakes the chaise lounge, and he doesn’t move his hands away from my feet, still holding them. “Yours isn’t so bad either.”
I flick my gaze over the top of the page. “Never claimed it was anything special.”
His jaw ticks, and his eyes sweep up my thighs to my stomach. “Are you serious?”
“What rules do you want?” I ask, going back to my book and not wanting to talk about my body with him anymore.
I’ve never had body issues, but I know I’m not as beautiful as some women. My stomach isn’t tight and never will be. My ass, while good, isn’t high and plump. My breasts are a handful for some men, but by no means big. I am average on every level. Even if I’d had a smokin’ hot body, I still wouldn’t flaunt it. That’s never been my style, and the last thing I want is attention for something other than my brains.
He pulls my book down, making it impossible for me to hide. “No. We’re not moving on that fast. You know your body is hot as fuck, right?” he asks, eyebrows drawn inward.
“Sure.” I smile, trying to lift my book back up, but failing. “It’s okay. Not hot as fuck, but it’s not awful.”
He chews his lip, looking at me like I’m insane. “Not awful?”
I nod. “Uh. Yeah. It’s okay.” I poke my stomach through my one-piece swimsuit. “It could be better, but it could also be worse.”
“Fuckin’ women.” He shakes his head, his fingers still touching my skin. “You guys are brutal to yourselves. Do you know what I see when I look at you?”
My face heats, and I can’t take his gaze, averting mine to where our bodies are connected. “Can we change the topic?” I whisper, wanting nothing more than to hide.
“No. We can’t. You have to understand what a man thinks and sees when he’s looking at you. Do you have any idea?”
I shrug, frowning. “I never really gave it much thought. It doesn’t matter, though. I don’t want someone to want me just for my body anyway.”
He grazes my ankle with his fingertips, sending shock waves straight up my legs to the part of my body that hasn’t been touched in far too long. “Lily, your mind is the most beautiful thing about you.”
“Thanks.” I smile, trying to stay still and calm even though he’s stroking my skin, sending all kinds of signals he shouldn’t be sending. “That’s the best compliment anyone’s ever given me.”
“You seriously need to hang out with better guys.”
I glance up and give him a halfhearted smile. “I know. I’ve never been any good with guys. Look at all the crazy, random shit I’ve said to you in the last five days since we started living together. I go stupid for some reason.”
“There’s nothing stupid about you, and I love all the crazy, random things you say. They’re cute.”
I frown. “So not cute, Jett. It’s so embarrassing.”
Now both his hands are holding my ankles, fingers sweeping across my skin in soft, steady strokes. “I think it’s endearing.”
“Old people are endearing,” I mutter.
“Man, you are so harsh. I’m paying you a compliment, and somehow, you twist it around, messing it all up in your head.”
I set my book down and cross my arms over my chest, feeling as if I need armor for this conversation. I don’t know why I’m so defensive. Jett’s never been anything but kind. Maybe too kind, but I figure it’s because he doesn’t want to upset my family and is just sucking up because he’s always been this way…but with other people. “I did not twist your words.”
“When I say you’re beautiful, what do you think?”
I blink, tightening my arms against my body. “I think you’re lying.”
“If I said I was attracted to you, you’d say?”
“I’ve seen your type, Jett. You’re not really picky.”
He glances upward, and sunshine bathes his face. “Now she has jokes.”
“No jokes. Just reality. You have a reputation.”
“Had, Lily. Had. I’m not that guy anymore.”
“Sure,” I say sarcastically, nodding.
“I’m more selective about everything. It’s no longer just about sex. I’ve had enough of that to last a lifetime.”
My entire face scrunches like I just popped a lemon in my mouth. “Enough for a lifetime?”
He sighs but doesn’t stop stroking my skin. I know I should pull away, but I can’t bring myself to. I like the feeling of his skin sliding against mine too much to stop him. “I’m getting older. Priorities change over time. You’re not the same person you were in high school, are you?”
I do a quick mental evaluation. I’m pretty damn close to who I was then. Still a bookworm. Still boring. Still sexless. “No, I’m the same.”
He studies me for a moment and then gives me a lopsided grin. “High school Lily wouldn’t be sitting here with me, letting me touch her like this. So, I’d say you’ve changed.”
“High school me would’ve let you touch her like this, if you’d ever known she existed back then.”
“What?” His eyes widen. “I knew you existed. Hell, I saw you every day. How could I not?”
“You never talked to me.” Damn. I sound whiny and needy, two things I never want to be.
His face twists. “Fuck, I did too. When our families were together, we talked.”
“I don’t remember it that way.”
“Your face was always in a book. Maybe you didn’t realize I was talking to you.”
I chew on my bottom lip, narrowing my eyes, studying his handsome face. “Sometimes, fiction is better than reality.”
“Lily.”
“Jett,” I throw back.
“I watched you at school. Saw you with your head tucked between the pages, never giving me the time of day.”
Do I tell him the truth? Do I tell him I watched him too, seeing him with all the girls, and never once did I catch him watching me? Nope. The last thing I want is for Jett Michaels to know I had the biggest crush on him—and if I’m being honest with myself, I still do. “Don’t lie now, babe.” I use his favorite nickname back at him. “It’s not becoming.”
He shakes his head, fingers still stroking my skin. “Let’s get back to now and away from then. Then was a lifetime ago, and I’d rather not rehash old times.”
“I’m sure you wouldn’t.” I snort.
“Why do you wear a one-piece?” he asks, eyeing my suit.
I shrug. “It’s comfortable.”
“You have this amazing body, and you cover it up, hiding yourself in baggy shirts and loose shorts. It’s like you want to disappear inside them.”
“I do.” I smile, nodding. “I’d rather not be noticed and just go about my day, blending in with the crowd.”
“You don’t blend, Lily Gallo.”
“I blend,” I argue, gnashing my teeth.
He lifts his arm, finally letting go of my one leg, and sweeps my hair away from my shoulder. “Your face could never blend into a crow
d. Those big, round eyes and all this hair. Baby, you stick out in even the biggest, most beautiful group.”
I don’t have to look in a mirror to know the blush on my face is severe. “You sure know the right things to say, Jett. I’ll give you that. You’ve always been a sweet talker.”
“You seriously think I’m not attracted to you?”
“I don’t.”
His grip tightens on my ankle. “I thought my hard-on when you were piercing me was confirmation of that fact.”
I laugh, remembering how mortified he looked. “I’m pretty sure if anyone’s touching your penis, it’ll get hard. I didn’t think I was special.”
“Do you get turned on when anyone touches you?” he throws back with a straight face.
I swallow, almost choking on my saliva. “Fuck no,” I blurt out. “It doesn’t work that way. Men and women are different.”
“We’re not that different, Lily. If your dad was touching my penis that day instead of you, I most certainly wouldn’t have gotten wood.”
I chuckle, picturing my dad trying to pierce him and Jett’s penis stiff and upright. “He’s a guy. I’m sure you wouldn’t get, you know…” I waggle my eyebrows, squirming in my chair. I’ve never talked this openly about sex with anyone outside my family.
He grabs the ends of my hair, rubbing a few strands between his fingers. “Lily.” He pauses, gazing at me with an expression I’ve seen before but never tried to pick apart.
“Yeah?”
“I’m going to kiss you now,” he says, smirking and touching me.
Panic grips me. I can’t kiss Jett. God, he’s probably kissed hundreds of women and has skills I could never match or comprehend.
“No.” I dip my head, sliding off the chaise lounge and scrambling to my feet. The book in my lap falls to the floor, landing next to me. “You can’t.”
He peers up, eyes narrowing as he studies me. “I want to,” he says, pushing himself upward to stand in front of me. “Do you want to kiss me?”
I chew my lip, gawking at him.
I do.
God, I want to kiss Jett. I’ve always wanted to kiss Jett. But that doesn’t mean it’s a good idea. What if I’m horrible at kissing? What if he laughs and can never look at me again without thinking about the clumsy, awkward kiss? My fingers tingle, and my heart’s pounding as panic claws at my insides.
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