“I don’t think Jett’s a big fan of all the body parts I have to touch.” I wince, thinking about the first time I saw him again and had to hold his penis. “It can be awkward.”
Sophia places her hand on my arm. “Then you keep doing it. Don’t ever stop doing something because of a man, even if he’s your man. Stick to your guns, and do what makes you happy.”
“So, you would stay if you were me?” I ask her, making sure I heard her right.
“It’s your family business. Your legacy. You need to live your life for you and not him.”
“I love being with my family every day, but I’d also like to finish my degree.”
“So, finish it, but that doesn’t mean you have to use it. If having the diploma gives you a sense of accomplishment, do it, sweetheart. But don’t do it because of Jett or anyone else, not even your parents.”
“What about me?” Mom asks, finding her way to us at the exact moment we’re talking about a topic I know is sore for her.
“We’re talking about her work and school.”
My mom’s smile tightens. “Lily, I need to say something to you.”
I turn to face her, readying myself for whatever she’s going to tell me, no matter how much it may hurt. “Yeah, Mom?”
“Live your life for you. I thought you wanted to be a doctor, and I pushed you to follow in my footsteps, figuring you’d take over the clinic someday.” She pauses as her smile softens. “I’m proud of you for having the courage to follow your dreams. I’d be far more upset if you didn’t do something you enjoyed. I don’t care where you work or what you do as long as you’re happy, baby. Don’t ever do something to make other people happy. It’ll only make you miserable in the long run.” She raises her hand, touching my face. “Your father and I are proud of the woman you’ve become and the courage it took for you to speak your mind and follow your heart. I don’t think I could’ve done the same at your age.”
My vision blurs as my eyes fill with tears. “You’re proud of me?”
She nods, squeezing my arm. “I couldn’t be prouder to have such a wonderful daughter, Lily.”
I throw myself into her arms, hugging her so tight. “I love you, Mom.”
“Love you too, sweetheart,” she whispers into my hair.
“You two are making my mascara run,” Sophia says, wiping her eyes. “Damn you.”
I chuckle, pulling away from my mom’s embrace. “Thanks, Mom. I needed to hear that. I’ve been so worried you and Dad were disappointed in me.”
“I couldn’t think of a better woman for my Jett. He needs someone level-headed, smart, sweet, and strong,” Sophia tells me.
“Thank you, Sophia.” I smile, my insides all warm, even if my eyes are filled with tears.
“What’s wrong?” Jett asks, sliding his arm around my shoulders. “Why are you crying, baby?”
“They’re happy tears,” I say, sniffling. “Completely happy tears.”
For the first time ever, I feel I can breathe and finally be me. I no longer feel as though I’ve let them down by my decisions.
“Who’s ready to eat? Sal’s manning the grill,” Jett tells us.
All eyes turn toward him, wide and horrified.
“You left my grandpa at the grill?”
He nods, totally clueless.
“You know he burns everything, right?” I tell him, shaking my head. “Like, if it isn’t charcoal, it’s not cooked completely.”
Jett’s head snaps to the side as he peers across the yard. “What? Are you serious?”
“Based on the amount of smoke pouring out of the grill, I’d say we’re pretty close to being ready to eat.” Suzy laughs. “I hope you have some steak sauce or something, or else we’ll be chewing for hours and hours.”
“I figured since your grandma is a great cook, your grandpa would be too.” Jett rubs the back of his neck, looking pale. “Why didn’t you warn me?”
I pat his chest, smiling up at my guy. “I thought you knew. You’ve been around us your entire life. You won’t make the same mistake twice.”
“Why didn’t he say something?” Jett asks, looking between the four of us.
“Because he thinks he’s a grill master,” Aunt Suzy answers, covering her mouth to stifle her laughter.
“Which he’s not,” my mom adds. “But at least we know we won’t get E. coli.”
“Shit,” Jett hisses, dropping his arm from my shoulder and rushing toward the grill to try to save our dinner.
“Thanks for today,” I say to my mother, feeling nothing but warmth and joy.
“What are you thanking me for, baby?” she says, sweeping the hair away from my face.
“For making all of this okay.”
She rubs my arm. “The only thing your father and I want for you is for you to be happy.” She smiles down at me. “I’ve never seen you smile as big as you have today. I can see the peace you feel. I know you’re home and where you’re meant to be.”
“I’m really happy.”
“You’re happy, baby girl?” Dad asks, coming into the conversation a little late. “Really, truly happy?”
I nod, my eyes filling with tears and not trusting my own voice.
He touches my chin, a sweet smile on his face. “You know we love you, right?”
I nod again, a tear sliding down my cheek.
Dad wipes it away. “We’re proud of you too. I love having you at Inked with me, and I couldn’t be prouder of the woman you’ve become.”
“Thanks, Daddy,” I whisper, my voice cracking.
He wraps his arms around me, giving me a bear hug. “I was blessed the day you were born, Lily. And no matter how old you get, you’ll always be my baby girl.”
“I wouldn’t want it any other way,” I whisper into his chest, hugging him tightly.
Three Weeks Later
“Hi, Lily,” Sara, my mom’s receptionist at the clinic, says as soon as I walk through the door.
“Hi, Sara.” I smile, always loving seeing her. I’ve known her since I was a little girl, and I worked closely with her when I volunteered at the clinic in the summers.
Sara leans forward, placing her chin on her knuckles. “I heard you have a new special someone in your life. I saw a photo of him too, and he’s a handsome devil.”
I rest my hands on the counter, laughing. “He’s one of the prettiest men I’ve ever met.”
“If I were young again…” She sighs and fluffs her short gray hair. “Just make sure he treats you right, Lily. Looks fade over time, and if he’s an asshole now, you’ll be left with not only an asshole, but an ugly asshole when he’s older.”
I giggle, covering my mouth when a woman in the waiting room gives us the side-eye. “I’ve missed you,” I tell her.
“Miss you too, kid.” She winks at me.
“Lily?” Mom says, walking up behind the desk from the exam room area. “What are you doing here, sweetie?”
I swing my gaze away from Sara and smile at my mom. “Hey, Mom. I wanted to stop by and talk to you about something.”
Mom waves me back, never liking to talk about personal matters in front of patients. “What’s up?” she asks as soon as I walk into the back, while her eyes sweep over me. “Are you okay?”
“I’m fine.” I wave her off, not wanting her to panic. “Just wanted to talk to you about…” I lean in closer, lowering my voice. “Getting on the pill.”
Mom’s eyes widen just a little bit, but the rest of her face stays impartial. “Okay,” she says, drawing out the word. “I’m glad you’re being responsible.”
I twist my hands as my belly tightens. “I always promised I’d come to you if I needed birth control.”
She reaches out and grabs my hands. “I’m happy you came to me. Come on.” She motions for me to follow her toward the exam rooms and stops near the bathroom. “We’ll do a urine test real quick just to make sure you’re healthy. Did you see Dr. Myer this year?”
I nod. “I went for my pap four mo
nths ago, and it came back normal.”
“Good. Good.” She nods. “You know the routine. Pee in the container, write your name on the side, and leave it on the counter.”
I’m in and out of the bathroom in a hurry, somehow managing not to pee all over my hand.
“Wait in exam room one, and I’ll be right back,” she tells me.
“When was your last period?” Mom asks as she returns, sitting on the stool across from me with her laptop.
“About three weeks ago. You know I’ve always been bad at keeping track, Mom.”
“You should do a better job, sweetheart.”
“I never had to in the past, really. There was no reason.”
“There’s always a reason.”
I roll my eyes. “Flo’s always been consistent, and I wasn’t having sex. So, I didn’t…” My voice trails off because I just said I wasn’t. The cat’s out of the bag now. I am no longer a virgin.
“Well,” Mom says, not making a face even though I know she didn’t miss what I just said, “from now on, track it.”
I nod. “Got it.”
There’s a knock, followed by Reva, my mom’s nurse, walking into the room, carrying a sheet of paper. Reva’s eyes land on me, and she gives me a tight smile. “Hey, Lil.”
“Hi,” I say, tucking a lock of hair behind my ear, wondering if everyone knows I’m here because I’m looking for birth control.
“Here are the urinalysis results, Mia.” Reva hands the paper to my mom and gives me one more faint smile before vanishing.
“Everything okay?” Mom asks, her gaze firmly planted on the paper.
“I think so. Nothing to worry about.” I place my hand on my knee, trying to stop my leg from moving.
“So, um, I can’t write you a prescription for birth control,” Mom says.
I jerk my head back, widening my eyes. “Why not?” I whisper.
Mom lifts her face and peers at me, blinking rapidly. “Because you’re pregnant, Lily.”
“I’m what?” I ask, frozen and shocked. “I can’t be. We were careful.”
“Well…” she mumbles, shaking her head. “Not careful enough.”
“Give me that,” I say, snatching the paper from her hands and scanning the results.
Fuck!
“Do it again. It has to be wrong,” I tell her, shaking my head too. “We used condoms.”
“They’re not one hundred percent, Lily, and with his new piercing…”
“Oh shit. Oh shit. Oh shit.” I start to hyperventilate.
Mom places her hand on my knee. “Breathe, sweetheart. Breathe.”
I drop the paper to the floor and crumple forward, hugging my knees. “I can’t be pregnant. Oh my God. I can’t be. How could this happen?”
Mom moves to my side, placing her arm around my shoulders, hugging me. “There are worse things to be, Lily.”
I snap my head to the side, my eyes filled with tears. “Mom, this is no time for a pep talk about being STD-free. Dad is going to kill Jett.”
She smiles as she strokes the skin on my shoulder. “Your father’s going to have a coronary, but he’ll be fine after he gets over the shock.” She giggles for a second and then sobers. “We’re going to be grandparents.”
I run to the garbage can on the other side of the room, my stomach twisting. Everything I’d just eaten for lunch comes hurling out, landing against the plastic. “This can’t be.” I gasp, wiping at my mouth. “I can’t be.”
She’s behind me, holding on to my hair. “You are, sweetheart.”
Tears stream down my cheeks, both from fear and the trauma of throwing up. “I’m not ready to be a mom,” I cry.
Mom grabs my arms, pulling me upright, and turning me to face her. She has a tissue in her hand, blotting at my mouth and then my cheeks. “No one’s ever ready.”
“Jett’s certainly not ready to be a dad. He’s going to lose his shit.”
“He may surprise you.” She smiles, still wiping at my face like she’s drying my tears after a spill on the playground.
I blink, gawking at her in complete shock. “I’m going to be a mom.”
She nods, staring at me with nothing but love. There’s no judgment in her gaze. No disappointment on her face. “You’ll be the best mom ever.”
I cry harder, gripped by fear and worry. “I don’t know if I can do this.”
My mother wraps her arms around me, pulling me in for a hug and wrapping me up in the safety of her embrace. “You can do anything you put your mind to, baby,” she whispers in my ear, rubbing my back. “And I’ll be here every step of the way.”
I sob against her shoulder. Twenty-one years of virginity and virtue instantly wiped away by becoming the first of my generation to get pregnant—and out of wedlock, no less. I always thought Tamara would be the first one to get knocked up, but no, fate had other plans.
“Want me to help you tell Jett tonight?” she asks.
“I can tell him, but I can’t tell Dad.” I shake my head. “I can’t.” I sniffle, rubbing the back of my hand across my wet cheeks. “You can’t tell him, Mom. He can’t know before Jett.”
Mom nods as her lips twist. “I won’t, but this is one hell of a secret to keep.”
“Please, Mom,” I beg, grabbing her arm. “Promise me you won’t tell him before I tell Jett?”
“Your secret’s safe with me, sweetheart.” Mom smiles softly. “I’m going to be a grandma,” she whispers. “A grandma.”
“Stop saying that,” I tell her, shaking my head. “You’re freaking me out.”
She laughs. Freaking laughs.
“We should do a blood test.”
Mom nods. “Whatever will make you happy.”
I wave my hand in front of my body, stopping in front of my abdomen. “This doesn’t make me happy.”
“Someday, you’ll look back on this day and laugh.”
I blink, wondering who this person is in front of me. She’s being way too cool about me getting knocked up. “I don’t think I’ll ever laugh about today.”
“You will.”
“I’m going to be an unwed mom,” I mumble, the words sounding foreign and crude. “And a college dropout.” My stomach flips, and the reality slaps me right in the face.
“Come over tonight, and we can tell your Dad together, sweetheart. It’s better to tell him now than have him find out later.”
“I’ll see,” I whisper, wiping away the tears streaming down my face.
I’m going to be a mom.
Fuuuuuuuck.
26
Jett
Lily walks through the front door and is as white as a sheet. I rush to her side before she has a chance to drop her purse on to the table. “What’s wrong, baby?” I ask, studying her face as she stands there, frozen like a statue.
Her eyes are glazed over, and she’s barely blinking. “I’m… I’m…” She pauses as her gaze moves to my face, but it’s like she’s looking through me instead of at me, completely lost. “I’m…”
“You’re what?” Panic crawls up my spine as I clasp her cheeks in my hands. “What’s wrong? Are you sick?”
“My mom.” She pauses. “I’m… Oh God,” she whispers, tears forming in her eyes.
I drop my hands from her face, pulling her into my arms, trying to comfort her. “What happened to Mia?”
“It’s not… She’s…”
My stomach knots, but I do everything in my power to stay calm and be her rock. “Lily, baby,” I whisper in her ear, holding her tight. “You’re not making any sense. You’re scaring me.”
Lily rears back, tears staining her cheeks. “I’m pregnant,” she blurts out and her eyes widen.
I jerk my head back, and my eyes widen too. “What?”
“I’m pregnant,” she repeats, crying harder. “We’re pregnant.”
I almost stagger back, but I catch her by the arms, digging my fingers into her biceps. “We’re pregnant?” I whisper, never dreaming I’d be saying the words anyti
me soon. My heart skips, feeling weird in my chest as the realization of her words finally hits me.
Lily isn’t one to play jokes and never about something so serious or life-changing. I knew the minute she walked in the door something was off, but never in a million years did I think she was going to say she was having my baby.
My baby.
She’s officially my baby mama.
Does it make me a bad person because there’s a part of me that’s over-the-moon excited about the fact that Lily and I will be tied together forever?
I can already see a dark-haired little girl with her blue eyes, giggling as I throw her in the air. A mini Lily, all full of joy and innocent as can be.
Lily nods, her body shaking in my grip. “I’m so sorry. So, so, so, so, so sorry. I don’t know how this happened.”
“You’re sorry?” I ask as a smile slides across my lips.
“Please don’t hate me,” she begs, curling her fingers into the material of my T-shirt.
I slide my hands back to her face, wiping away her tears. “I can never hate you, baby.”
“What do you want to do?” she asks and is dead serious with the question.
“What do I want to do?” I’m confused. What is there to do? We’re having a baby.
A little human with ten toes on little feet to snuggle and love. What could there be to do about something so wonderful?
“I know you don’t want to have kids right now, so we can…”
I place my finger over her lips. “Stop it right now, Lily Gallo.”
Her eyes widen, and her lips part behind my finger. “I don’t want to ruin your…”
I shake my head. “You’re not ruining anything. I love you. Do you love me?”
She nods, not speaking, which, for Lily, isn’t easy.
“We’re having a baby,” I tell her, smiling so damn big because we’re having a freaking baby.
“You’re not mad?” she mumbles behind my finger.
It’s my turn to shake my head. “I’m not mad. You’re okay. Your mom’s okay. Sure, life is going to change, but it’s a baby. A little human. A tiny piece of both of us.” I study her, because the color still hasn’t returned to her face besides the splotches near her eyes from the tears. “Are you okay?”
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