Once done with stowing her things she went straight upstairs to Brent’s study and powered up his computer. She didn’t have too much trouble guessing the password to his bank account, and she began to peruse it. What she found made her scratch her head. Brent was doing very well.
The ranch had seven full time employees, and though none of them got paid much, together it was a great deal. Add the hired hands for seasonal work and round ups like the one Buck planned to go on, and it was several hundred thousand dollars a year, before taxes and expenses. Hell, she just spent several hundred dollars for a hat and a pair of boots, she knew expenses were expensive.
She found a spread sheet that had the number of cattle, which was, in itself, stunning, and the vet costs, and the loss due to wild animals and the odd poacher.
Poaching was rare, but she remembered when she was a kid there was a group of men who would take chain saws to any livestock close to a forest service road where the cattle spent the summer in the high country. They’d have the cow gutted and quartered and in the back of the pickup in something close to twelve minutes, with nothing left but the offal, which didn’t last long either. She didn’t remember the particulars, like what they’d do with the meat, most likely they ate it, bone chips and all, but she remembered being pretty horrified at the thought.
Brent’s ranch didn’t do any of the meat processing; they just raised happy beef and sent them away for someone else to do the dirty work. As children, she and her brother were spared knowledge of that part of the process. They spent their days on dirt bikes and horseback under the big sky, it was an idyllic childhood. When Joss made the connection between what they raised and what they had for dinner almost every night, she became a vegetarian. It didn’t last long, mostly because her mother had little patience for that sort of behavior, and most anything else, she thought.
Her mother was alive. It shouldn’t have surprised her, but it did. The fantasies she’d had about her mother were mostly how she died tragically, Joss’s name on her final breath, and that was why she never came back. In retrospect, Joss realized how ridiculous she was in assuming she was dead, but for her mental health there was simply no other option. Cassidy Erickson was dead, that would be the only reason she wouldn’t come back to her daughter. Joss didn’t remember the day Cassidy left, but her feelings, although complicated, were not so much unhappiness that she left, but relief.
Brent had been relieved, too, so why on earth would she not give him a divorce? Was she holding out for a piece of Brent’s substantial pie? Did she still love Brent? Or was she doing the only thing she could that would torment him? Joss had to think it was torment over tenderness.
Cassidy had never been a nurturing presence, in fact, Joss and Brand had avoided her as much as possible, and that seemed to suit her just fine. Cassidy was small and pretty, and by the age of twelve, Joss towered over her, making it easy for her mother to shame her about her freakish size. At twenty eight, Joss was no longer bothered by her height, she figured she’d find someone who wasn’t threatened by it, or not, she wasn’t going to waste time or energy worrying about her genetics. Joss was tall, like she had blonde hair and blue eyes, how was she going to change that?
She sat back in Brent’s chair and looked around his office. The walls were covered with pictures of her and Brand. The pictures spanned the period from infancy to last Christmas when Joss came up for a few days. She didn’t remember anyone taking pictures that night, but there she was, not looking at the camera, her expression was quite sad, she thought. Why would he have this on his wall? Joss wanted to cry looking at it. It suddenly seemed like it had been a long time since Joss had been really happy. She loved her job, it was a challenge that she found very fulfilling, and she enjoyed her friends, but she realized looking at the candid picture of herself on Brent’s wall that she wasn’t happy, and she hadn’t been in some time. Did she just miss Brand? Was that the emptiness in her life needing to be filled? Fourteen years was a long time.
She shrugged off the surprisingly morose feeling that settled over her like a mantle and looked at the other photos.
Her favorite one was a picture of her and Brand sitting on the fence with their backs to the camera, but they were looking at each other and laughing about something. Brand’s hand was grasping her arm and they leaned into each other like they had a secret. Their horses were in the distance, heads up and alert. She and Brand looked a lot alike; their profiles were almost mirror images. They had the same straight nose and large mouth, and the exact same round blue eyes. Joss’s hair was braided, and Brand’s was short, and at that time in their lives the color was almost white.
What a loss, he would have been twenty six this year, and he would have been so happy, he was always so very happy. She stood up. Brand was here, she never felt him anywhere else but here in this house and at the hidden pool where they spent so much of their childhood making ridiculous plans.
Her favorite plan was the ride across Australia. They would take camels because of the heat, and pack salt pills so they would retain water. She wasn’t sure where the salt pill idea came from, maybe an episode of Get Smart, but it sounded logical to them at the time, ridiculous to her now.
They were going to have the adventure of a lifetime, they had it all planned out. They wanted to do it when they were young, not paying any mind to the fact that they weren’t going to get very far as minors. That wasn’t in the plan. Her second favorite was the plan to walk across the country of Andorra. This wasn’t as romantic as the red sands of Australia, but they would be walking without benefit of camels. The Pyrenees weren’t as difficult as the Rockies; it would have been a piece of cake.
“God, Brand, I wish you were here.” Her voice in the silence gave her goose bumps. This trip she was going to go into his room, just not today. She turned off Brent’s computer and went downstairs into the vast kitchen.
Brent was a beer drinker, but Joss preferred vodka, very cold. She put a bottle in the freezer for later, and walked outside to the barn with her new hula hoop.
There was a soft wicker from the back stall, and Joss went back to it.
“Hello Butterscotch,” she said rubbing the mare’s nose. “Oh my, you’re more like Butterball, aren’t you?” She asked her brother’s horse. “Come here, old girl.” She undid the latch and clipped a long line on to her halter, taking the horse out to the round pen. She slowly introduced the hula hoop to the horse, and after confirming it wasn’t edible Butterscotch lost interest. Joss put it over the mare’s head so that it sat on her shoulders. Clicking her tongue she swung the end of the lunge line over her head to get Butterscotch’s attention and the horse began to trot clockwise around her. Joss gave her more line and clucked again bringing her to a canter.
The hula hoop was tapped every time Butterscotch lifted her knees, and it made its rattlesnake like sound, but the horse seemed blithely disinterested.
“She doesn’t get too much attention these days,” a voice said from the rail. Joss looked at her old friend and smiled.
“No, that much is obvious. What are you feeding her? Big Macs? She’s huge,” Joss said. Fernando laughed.
“We’re not allowed to ride her, the only love she gets is when we feed her,” he said.
“As soon as I can get my legs around her I’m taking her out,” she said.
“Joss, if you do that it will surely kill your father, if it doesn’t kill you, too.” Joss made the horse come to her and change directions. Butterscotch was now cantering counter-clockwise around her.
“She didn’t do it on purpose, and you know it,” Joss said wondering again what the hell happened that day her brother died. “She isn’t, nor has she ever been, a skittish horse. If she were any less sensitive she’d be in a coma,” they looked at each other and grinned. “You and I both know Brand was a better rider than anyone else here.” She took a deep breath. Figuring out what happened wasn’t going to bring him back, why was she torturing herself? It would always haunt her;
she should have been with him. “Tell me what’s going on, Nando.”
“Your father should be the one,” he said.
“Have you seen him?” She asked.
“Yes,” Nando said.
“Then you’ve seen how weak he is; I don’t want to stress him out. He told me you would know.”
“Weird things, vandals mostly. Like the fence being opened and losing six hundred head that were getting auctioned off in a week, Jesu,” he said.
“The fence was opened? It wasn’t just broken from decay?”
“It was opened, the rails were stacked neatly to one side, and the cattle herded out.”
“Why do that? To take people away from the house, do you think? A diversion of sorts?”
“Maybe, you should lock up while Buck’s gone,” she huffed out her breath. She should lock up when he’s here, she thought. Fernando watched her curiously.
“The big house was broken into three months ago, and last month poison was left out for the dogs.”
She looked at the dogs lying in the shade. Everyone was accounted for. “Anybody hurt?”
“Pablo nearly died. I think because he was a stray he still thinks he has to eat any food he finds, even if it tastes funny. But he’s a tough one; he’ll survive a nuclear holocaust. Him and the cockroaches. Rex and Fly were merely sick everywhere.”
“Was anything taken from the house?”
“Not that Brent would say, but he was acting squirrelly about it.”
“Is it drugs?”
“Drugs? No, I don’t think so,” he was genuinely surprised by the question.
“On the drive in three of my tires were punctured, I found pointy metal things in two of them. Why do you think someone would do that?” She asked him and he looked ill for a second and then shook his head.
“Be careful, Joss,” he said.
“Buck picked me up shortly after the flats, but I did notice another car come from behind me, but no one was here when we showed up. Do you trust Buck?” She asked.
“Yes, I do. That’s why he’s bunking in the big house. Brent likes him, too. But I can tell by your small mouth that you don’t.”
“I’m not making small mouth,” she said putting her hand to her mouth.
“Yes, you are, cita. What are you thinking?” Fernando said.
“You and Brent think you know me so well,” she said. Nando laughed.
“Because we do. We raised you, and you were not an easy child to raise. Stubborn, spoiled, and pampered, you were, and the boys came sniffing around early. What were you fourteen when that first kid came round asking you for help with chemistry homework?” He rolled his eyes. “And math and history…”
“I was a good student,” she said and Fernando laughed. “My looks are merely an accident of birth.”
“And you never used them to get what you wanted?”
“Well, you have to wonder if there wasn’t some divine plan, Nando,” she smiled sweetly at him.
“Jesu. You got anyone at home waiting for you in Denver?”
“No one special, I have a cat, he is as demanding as I can handle,” she said. “Easy girl,” she said to the horse getting her to walk off the sweat.
“Then who are the flowers from?” He teased. “Your cat?”
“Very funny, Nando,” she ignored his question.
“But you’re interested in Buck?” Fernando said. Joss looked around for people who might have heard him, Buck in particular; he could be right behind her for all she knew.
“Why do you say that? He is singularly annoying; I am not interested in anyone.”
“Uh-huh,” he said and walked away. “Hey Joss, stay away from my barn, find a better place.” Fernando laughed at his mediocre wit.
“How about the yard? Is that better?” She called back.
“Find a room with a lock. Ay, ay, ay,” he ducked into the barn.
When did I become so transparent?
***
The dogs announced the arrival of a brand new pickup truck coming down the drive. Joss didn’t recognize it and figured Nando would take care of it and continued to prep the giant lasagna she would eat all week, freezing it in sections. She would never be a vegetarian, but she tried not to eat a lot of meat.
There was a knock at the door and she looked up from her chopping. It was Jake.
“Come on in, Jake,” she said turning the heat off underneath the onions and washing and drying her hands on a dish towel. Before she started cooking she put her hair up in an artfully tousled knot which had begun to fall around her face.
“Hello, Joss,” he said and handed the huge bouquet of flowers to her. “Barefoot in the kitchen, you look lovely.” She looked at her feet.
“I have socks on. These are beautiful,” she said and went back into the kitchen to find a vase for them. “I’m not sure Brent can have flowers in his room yet, but I can enjoy them.”
“They’re not for Brent, Joss, those are for you,” Jake said coming closer to her and looking disappointed at the presence of the roses on the table in the kitchen.
“Oh. Well thanks, Jake, but why on earth would you bring me flowers, is it because I just blew a week’s pay at your store?”
“You don’t make it easy on a man, Joss,” he said to her. She stood up from under the sink with a vase in her hand.
“Nothing should be too easy, where’s the fun in that? What’s wrong, Jake, you look like you’re passing a kidney stone,” she said jokingly.
“I’ve come to make my intentions known, Joss. I’ve been a widower for two years now, and I’m ready to move on. I didn’t think I was until you came into my store and nearly knocked me flat,” he said with a shy grin.
“Oh Jake, please don’t,” she said her eyes huge. Fuck!
“Now just hear me out, Joss. I know you have a reputation for being a wild child, but I’m a good guy, and the store is turning a handsome profit,” he was listing his assets; she was in a Jane Austen western.
“Jake, I…” he held up a hand to stop her.
“Despite your dubious reputation, I aim to try to make an honest woman out of you,” he said smiling.
“Oh, well, Jake, I’m flattered, sort of. Well, I was until you said ‘dubious reputation,’” she started. “Did you discuss me with your son at all? He may have set you straight about me being a wild child.” One naked guy in the barn and your reputation’s shot forever.
“I haven’t said a word to anyone, Joss, I barely know what I’m doing here myself, I couldn’t just let you slip through my fingers and not give it a try. Although, it would make me happy to know you didn’t sleep with Shane, I know it’s none of my business,” he said looking hopeful.
“I didn’t sleep with Shane, and you’re right, it’s none of your business. But Jake, I…” he held up his hand again and she stopped.
“Now, I know I’m a little older than you are, but I’m healthy and strong, and I could keep up with you,” he said grinning at her and taking a step closer. “I could make you happy, Joss, really happy. Let me try. They don’t call me Big Jake for nothing,” he said in a softer voice. Shocked, she stepped back a little and found she was pressed right up against the fridge. A Jane Austen western porn movie, she thought and almost laughed. He put his hand by her head and leaned in for a kiss. She put her hand on his chest to stop him getting any closer.
“Jake, please don’t, you’re making me very uncomfortable,” she said turning away. “I’m sorry Jake; I don’t want to complicate or compromise our friendship like that. I like you, and I’d hate to lose your friendship. Thank you for asking, though, I’m terribly flattered,” she turned back to him and smiled. He was staring at her neck where he could see her rapid pulse, and he could smell her, and he simply couldn’t pull away. “Please step back.”
“Joss, you’re so unbelievably sexy, I…”
The screen door squeaked open.
“Honey, I’m home,” Buck called from the doorway, slamming the screen door. “Whatever
you’re cooking smells great.” He walked into the kitchen slowly, giving Jake enough time to step away from Joss. “Thanks for picking up the condoms, darlin’ we were running dangerously low,” he stopped when he got near the kitchen and looked up. “Oh, I didn’t know we had company.” Like hell you didn’t, she thought.
“Jake, this is Buck,” she said and watched as they shook hands appraising each other.
“See ya, Joss, swing by the store again real soon,” Jake said looking at her. She nodded biting her lower lip. Jake walked out and she turned away from Buck to search the cabinets for chocolate. There was nothing, so she washed her hands at the sink, not ready to look at Buck’s self satisfied smile. Then she felt the heat of him immediately behind her.
“He’ll still take you if you go to him right now and tell him I’m an asshole,” he said softly right behind her right ear. She exhaled loudly.
“I don’t think he needs anyone to tell him that,” she said and he laughed softly, blowing his warm breath on her neck. He put his lips there a second later, and she jumped, adrenaline shooting through her. “Please,” she whispered, not knowing what she meant by it. Please don’t do that, or please take me here on the kitchen table. His hands went to her hips and he moved her back into him. Okay, she thought, it’s please take me right here on the kitchen table. He ran his tongue up her neck to her ear where he lightly bit her earlobe. A tiny moan left her throat surprising her, and enflaming him.
“You taste really good, Duchess,” he growled in her ear softly, “I knew you would.” And then he let go of her and walked silently away. Her body swayed dangerously as she got her breathing back under control. She opened her eyes and looked out the window. Fernando stood in the yard staring at her. She frowned at him and he shook his head and walked away.
With shaky hands she finished making the lasagna and put it in the oven. It was a good thing he was leaving in the morning, he was far too disconcerting. He was just messing with her, throwing her off her guard, making her want him like that. He would be the first in a long time. Why was there no chocolate in this house?
Breaking the Bad Boy Page 6