“And in the long run?” She asked and he shook his head.
“I’m too terrified to ask myself that question, but I would like to get past you thinking I’m the bad guy because of the bounty hunters,” he said earnestly.
“I don’t blame you for that, I was simply angry, not at you, at everything,” she said. “I’m sorry; you were the logical candidate for my wrath.”
“I’m sorry, too. The timing just about killed me.” She smiled at him and blushed a little. That was a close call.
“You’ll live to flirt another day.”
“Yes, I certainly will. We will get back to where we were. You said we’d get there eventually, and I can still hope. Maybe this will help. I have a present for you, Duchess,” he said with the teasing look on his face that she was growing very fond of. Suddenly she didn’t want to go back to Denver; she wanted to stay with him.
“Why?” She looked suspicious.
“It will give me as much pleasure to know you have it as it will give you pleasure having it,” he said still looking like the Cheshire Cat.
“Please say it’s a vibrator.” She said hopefully and laughed when his face fell.
“Don’t ruin this for me, Duchess,” he said looking mildly disappointed. “If things go right with us, you won’t ever need a vibrator again.” They were playful words, but they had a huge affect on her libido and she trembled with need, and he hadn’t even touched her. “Be gentle with me, I’ve never bought anything like this for anyone before.”
“Sorry,” she said closing her eyes and putting her hand out.
“Open your mouth,” he whispered to her and her eyes popped back open. “Just kidding.” He handed her the bag he was holding. She reached in and pulled out a black corset with red bows decorating it, and a lacy black thong.
“You bought me a merry widow?” Joss didn’t know if he was having a joke, or if he was serious.
“Christ, yes. The thong was just because it’ll look hot,” he said when she held it up to him. “I thought a bra alone would just hurt your back, but this piece of art won’t, since it will be even pressure down your back, not a band across one part. As much as I hate the thought of locking those lovely breasts away, I know you are uncomfortable,” he shrugged. “And it’s pretty fucking sexy.”
“I have a sports bra,” she said.
“Did I mention that this was sexy? And the sports bra hurt you just as bad as going without.”
He was right, the sports bra wasn’t working, and this was very sexy, but underneath the sexy was the thought that went into the gift. He knew she was uncomfortable, and he did something about it.
“How do you know that?”
“Come on, Duchess, I pay attention. Anyway, if I don’t watch you, the only things left to watch are cows, and you’re a lot more entertaining. And the best part was that I got it at Jake’s.” She looked pained. “He wasn’t there, Duchess. But he might look over the receipts at the end of the day.”
This is it; this is the moment I fall in love with him. This is when I just let go and freefall until he breaks me. I’m lost.
“It’s the right size. How is it the right size?” Her voice cracked a little with emotion and she looked down at the corset so he wouldn’t see her face.
“Give me a little credit. You forget, I had those beauties plastered against my back for nearly an hour, and I held the right one in my hand all night long,” he held his left hand cupped in between them and she blushed at the memory. He had somehow stepped so close to her that they were mere inches apart. “I went around the store like this, trying each one out for size,” she smiled looking at his very big hand held like he was trying to cup water. “I haven’t been able to think of much else since. I feel a certain affection, a definite fondness for, if not kinship, with your breasts.” He lifted her face to his with a finger. “Duchess…I have a powerful urge to kiss you. Let me kiss you on Main Street.” She stepped back an inch.
“You bought me sexy underwear, Buck. Are we dating? Is this Facebook official?”
“I did take you out to dinner; so yes, we can call that dating and go straight to bed.”
“What did the lady in the restaurant say?” He smiled radiantly, and Joss saw the little boy he must have been.
“I knew you’d cave. Kiss me, Duchess, and I’ll tell you everything,” his voice was sultry and inviting, he stepped closer to her and her pulse quickened.
“I almost kissed you yesterday.”
“No, I almost kissed you yesterday, and you ran away.”
“I suppose I did. Do you know who Hester Prynne is?” He looked confused by the sudden change of subject.
“You didn’t have the minister’s baby, did you?” He was simply curious, not judgmental, she liked that.
“No, I just wondered if you read the classics, and now I see there is more to you than meets the eye,” she said. “Who are you, Buck?”
He was giving too much away, she was figuring him out.
“I’m the man who stands before you bearing gifts because I care,” he said. “I am your underwear purchaser, your bodyguard and prospective lover. I grab you from the clutches of giant grizzlies, pull you out of burning buildings and clean the horse shit out of your instep. I’m your slave, Duchess.” She looked up at him and nodded.
“You forgot hero. How on earth am I supposed to get this on?” She asked and he grinned.
“I am at your service. I’ll enjoy that almost as much as I will when I help you take it off,” he grinned down at her and she blushed again. “That color is so becoming on your cheeks, Duchess.” He really wanted to kiss her, declare himself right here on Main Street. He stepped back but then immediately leaned forward to her ear. “Come to me when you get back to the ranch, it’s my day off.” His whisper was full of promise and she shivered. He smiled and gave her a very light kiss and stepped back again.
“Thank you, this was very kind,” she said holding up the bag.
“Oh, trust me, I’ve got ulterior motives,” he said walking toward his truck and stopped. “I’ll help you with the thong, too.” He called loudly and climbed into the truck and started it while she quickly shoved her new underwear back in the bag.
Buck watched her walk toward the church and noticed a man standing in a doorway she passed. Buck’s phone rang and he answered it.
“Yes,” Buck said.
“This is Fields,” the caller said.
“I know. She just passed you, keep an eye on her, she’s headed to the church.”
“I see her. Duke, man, you seem a little unfocused,” Fields said.
“I can still do the job, don’t worry,” the man called Duke said.
“Not that I blame you, she’s something else,” Fields said.
“Just watch her, and don’t get any ideas.”
“You mean like the ones you’re having?”
“Exactly.”
“Okay, Duke, I’m on it,” Fields said and tipped his hat at Buck and followed Joss into the church.
***
All conversation stopped when she stepped into the house. Joss looked at the assembled faces, not even hesitating a second longer on her mother’s. Her father stood up, she could tell he felt bad and didn’t want her hurt, but no one said anything to her. Joss reassured her father with a smile. Fourteen years and Cassidy didn’t care enough to even say hello. So that was “Mother love.”
Cassidy looked smaller than she remembered. When Joss looked at her Cassidy sneered and Joss saw that permanent lines were etching themselves in her face. Joss didn’t know quite how to feel about that. She did wonder why she was so hostile to her, and decided the best thing for her to do was get her new corset on and go for a ride. She might even bring Buck, she thought and walked out of the living room and down the hall to Buck’s room with her corset, and then she was ready to ride away some place where Cassidy would not intrude on her peace of mind. She knocked on his door.
“Come in,” she heard his voice and she ope
ned the door and stepped in, closing the door behind her. He put his book down and stood up off his bed giving her that slow smile. He looked so much bigger in the room than he did outside of the hardware store. Her mother was in this house and she was not going to let it get to her. She put her bags on his bed and took off her jean jacket and turned away from him slightly and pulled off her shirt. The pool was definitely off limits, she didn’t want a repeat of the bear episode.
She went for the bag on Buck’s bed. Maybe she’d take the vodka bottle and get a little drunk; if Buck didn’t come with her he would find her later and bring her back safely.
Cassidy wasn’t her real mother, just because she gave birth to her doesn’t mean there was any mothering going on. Fernando was more nurturing than she was, hell; Rex and Fly were, too. She wished she could go to the barn.
“Okay, straight to business. Personally I enjoy a little foreplay, but we can do that naked,” he undid his top button of his pants.
“Buck, quit screwing around, my mother’s in the living room,” she said pulling out the corset from the bag nearly dropping the shirt she held to her. “I just want to have a ride.”
“I can accommodate you, Duchess. And I can be as silent as the grave, are you telling me you are a screamer?” He pulled off his shirt and came to her. “I’m okay with that, but I definitely thought you’d make sounds more like a kitten. For being a bear you have a lot of cat qualities.”
“Never mind, I caught you at a bad time, I see,” she said and opened the door to leave, but he closed it, locked it and leaned against it, blocking her way.
“Hey Duchess, you were the one who started undressing in my room, what am I to glean from that? We want each other; we have since we first clapped eyes on each other. Deny it, Duchess, if you can,” he reached for a shortened tress that curled over her ear and she closed her eyes letting the sensations fill her. Buck’s voice was seductive and she couldn’t deny it at all.
She shook her head and pulled her shirt back on letting him see whatever he wanted for a second while she fought for some protection from him, or from herself, she wasn’t entirely sure. “Why do you do this? Do you have a split personality or something? One minute you are incredibly noble and kind, the next you are…” she put a hand out palm up. “An unmitigated asshole.”
“I thought you liked us bad boys, Duchess,” he said. “Something about Kryptonite.”
“You are riddled with secrets, every time I get too close to one, you become an asshole,” she said. “That is when you’re not out saving people’s lives.”
“It’s no secret that I want you, Duchess,” he whispered. “It’s no secret that you want me, too. Let it happen, let me in.”
“I want thoughtful Buck, not asshole Buck,” she said.
“We’re all part of the same package.”
They stared each other down and he slowly lifted his hand under her hair to the back of her neck and ran his thumb along the line of her jaw. “I’m going to kiss you now,” he said and he stepped even closer to her.
“Yes, dammit, kiss me,” she said and he bent his head to her, his lips coming closer with every wild beat of her heart. The anticipation was exquisite.
There was a knock on the door and she jumped and they both whispered “Fuck.” He dragged his head away from her, exhaling loudly and focused on her huge blue eyes.
“Who is it?” He asked.
“It’s Cassidy. Do you have Joss in there?” Joss silently shook her head.
“She jumped out the window when she saw I was undressed, Cassidy, I think she was frightened by the sheer girth…” Joss pushed him away, unlocked and opened the door to shut him up. She looked at her mother, ready to face whatever came through the door.
Cassidy didn’t even glance at her daughter, whom she hadn’t seen in fourteen years; instead her eyes went straight to Buck’s hairless scabbed and healing chest and put a hand up to touch it. “What happened to you?” Cassidy groaned. He grabbed her wrist and gave her a stern look.
People didn’t go around touching other people’s chests, and that action could only mean one thing. Joss fell in love with the wrong man.
“Fuck,” it was a guttural inhuman sound Joss made when she realized Buck was not the man she thought. He had slept with her mother, and then come to work for her father, and seduced her. Cassidy looked up at her curiously.
“What’s wrong with you?” Cassidy asked her then she turned to Buck and hissed at him. “You weren’t supposed to sleep with her.”
Where had he been when Fernando was murdered? When the barn went up in flames? When the fence went down? Where had he been when her room was trashed? He’d been distracting her, seducing her, and all the while he was in league with her mother. Her own eyes huge with surprise she looked into his eyes and the truth was clear to see.
The sexy grin was gone. His playfulness and kindness, even Buck the asshole; they were completely gone. He was unreadable, a sphinx. She needed to get away from him because she was going to be sick, and she was going to cry. But first she needed to hurt him. She hit him as hard as she could in the gut, and he simply took it. Buck knew it was coming and he took it because he knew it was deserved.
“Joss,” he said so very quietly, she barely heard him. It was the first time he’d said her name, and it sounded so beautiful on his traitorous lips.
“No,” she said and stumbled down the hall past Brent and out the front door. She ran across the yard, her eyes filled with tears, her hand was surely broken and she looked down at it as she stumbled away from him, and from her mother. Everything was a blur, she had somehow fallen in love with him and he had been playing her the whole time. She was mortified and just needed to be as far away from them as she could be.
Shouting began behind her in the house, but she couldn’t spare the effort to turn around to see what they were yelling about. Maybe Brent was kicking him out. Joss turned to look, hating that she cared, but they made no sense. They weren’t shouting at each other, they were shouting at her.
That was the moment when she walked straight into the ginger haired chest of her bear.
Chapter Seven
He was the biggest bear Joss had ever seen. Most of the bears around were the much smaller, yet still formidable black bears, topping out at 300 pounds or so. Linebacker sized, she thought. Several linebackers could fit in this mature male grizzly, with room for their equipment.
He put his arms around her, just as Buck had done in the hospital that day, and he looked down at her with those small bear eyes and sniffed at her again. He was devastatingly thorough; the sniffing went on for some time. He must know she was the one, the same person he almost ate the other day, the owner of the trail of blood he followed to find her. It was meant to be. Just as Brent predicted he followed her scent straight to her and came to finish the job. She had delivered herself to him and stood unmoving in his embrace.
“It’s okay,” she whispered. Joss wasn’t sure if she was telling the bear to relax, there was no need to get excited about anything, or that it was all right if he needed to kill her. Was she ready to give it all up over some guy she hadn’t even kissed? No, she certainly wasn’t, but the bear might have different plans. “Don’t eat me.”
The bear inhaled for what seemed a very long time, and then he roared and it was the most terrifying sound she had ever heard, his massive head jutted forward and tilted to the side. Her death was imminent and his spit was flying in her face but she couldn’t move if she wanted to, she remained completely still, and stared at his face, looking at the implement of her own death.
It was going to hurt, she thought, he was going to eat her, and there was nothing she could do but watch it happen. With any luck he would start at her neck, and she’d bleed out before he ripped too much more flesh. Poor Brent, he was probably watching, this would kill him.
“It’s okay, it’s okay, it’s okay,” she said as soothingly as she could, but there was little chance he heard her over the roar.
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This was when her life was supposed to flash before her eyes; she was looking her brutal gruesome death in the mouth. The very large mouth, filled with teeth the size of her fingers. There was no space in her mind for anything but very large, bear.
His scream was deafening, and she felt it rumbling through his body, the body she was pressed up against; large, hot and thick with fur. He abruptly stopped screaming at her and she watched as his right eye went from a small black orb to a large red hole and he fell backwards, with his arms still embracing her, clutching her against him. The massive bear pulled her right down on top of him; her arms flew up around his neck to help her break the fall, and they lay there unmoving like lovers in the afterglow. “It’s okay, it’s okay.”
The bear’s breath whooshed out of him and she could smell the fish he’d had for dinner, and she wondered why he didn’t just finish her. But his head was thrown back and his tongue, his incredibly long tongue, the tongue that licked her open back, was lolling out of his mouth, and she knew he was dead. “I’m so sorry,” she said, and she wept into his ginger chest. She heard tentative footsteps behind her.
“Joss, honey, are you okay?” Brent. Brent was safe, he wouldn’t hurt her.
“Yes,” she breathed. “My bear’s dead.” Brent knelt down next to her and helped her up off the bear and hugged her hard to his chest. Her back caught fire from the stitches he ripped out, but she didn’t say anything, he had stitches popping open, too.
“Joss, I can’t lose you, too,” he said, tears streaming down his face.
She nodded and stepped out of his grasp and stumbled away from him, back to the house. She passed Buck who was standing on the deck holding a still smoking rifle looking like he’d lost his best friend. “You killed my bear after all.” He closed his eyes. She stumbled past her mother standing just inside the screen door, with one pretty eyebrow arched, and finally went past Belle still sitting at the table, and staggered back to her room where she stripped off her clothes and got in the shower and cried until there was no hot water left. She cried for the bear, and she cried for Brand and she cried for herself. For the first time in eight years she had let herself fall in love and it was such a shockingly bad choice she had to give up on ever finding anyone, because she no longer cared.
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