“I feel your soft lips all over me. Your fingertips are following the trail of your tender kisses. I can smell our scents mixed together with a hint of sexual arousal, it’s quite heady.”
“That’s good. Now take a few long breaths, like I taught you from Pilates . . . feel yourself relax.”
I got edible, chocolate-raspberry massage oil today. I grab the bottle from the nightstand and put some in my hands. I rub them together to warm it up. I decide to start at his perfect feet. As I work his arch, he moans and the tension begins to slowly leave his body. “You’re doing so good. I swipe my tongue up his arch and his cock leaps to attention. I try not to laugh—yep, Mr. Cock has a mind of his own. I work my way up his legs very slowly. Noticing his bound hands fisted, I bring them to my lips and kiss each one. Not being able to touch me or see me, is having a larger effect on him than I thought. He wants to do so much to please me and this really is one of the hardest things I have ever asked of him. I know the level of trust between us is so great, yet sometimes, the biggest struggle is with the littlest things. “It’s okay, I’m here—always. Let yourself feel me.”
“I can’t; my hands are bound!”
“Feel me with your heart, Jax . . . your soul. You don’t need your hands, I’m all around you.” I reach down and plant a kiss over his heart. “Even if I left the room, I would still be in here.” I tap gently with my finger before placing another kiss. “I will always be with you; that will never change.”
His rapid breathing seems to be calming down. “Jax, are you okay now?”
“Yes, I’m good.”
I take the glass of ice and pull out a cube. I slowly rub it around his nipples followed by my warm tongue. Hot and cold; back and forth. He’s beginning to relax under my touch, ever so slowly. I massage every square inch of him—my tongue darting out to taste him—trailing with feather-light kisses. “Turn over, Jax.” He complies and I begin the process all over again. I reach his ass and freeze. He has the most beautifully sculptured ass. I straddle him and try to continue, but as my hands work over this perfection, I moan. I reach down and kiss each cheek. My God, he takes my breath away. I swirl my tongue in circles and up his spine. I swear, I could have an orgasm just from the sight of him. My breathing has become rapid and I’m close to the edge. I can feel my body begin to tremble with every kiss. I know he can feel it too. He’s always so in tune with me. He senses my needs before I do, knowing when to slow me down or let me have control. I hope tonight I’m doing the same for him.
“Sweetheart, are you okay?” he asks.
“More than okay.” I climb off of him. “Roll onto your back and lift your hands above your head. Hang onto the headboard and no matter what happens, don’t let go.” God love him, he does it without question. I climb on top of him and kiss the tip of his cock before sliding my tongue up and down.
“Raven, I don’t know how much longer I can last without touching you. I’m aching for you.” There’s a plea in his voice.
“Lift your head up, Jax.”
I DO AS I’M told and I know exactly where I’m headed. I thank God for her and her willingness to explore the unknown with me. Her understanding and grace befuddles my own logical mind. What did I ever do right in my life to have been gifted with her? I lift my head up and my lips land right between her legs just as she takes my cock even deeper in her mouth. I know I have to be gentle with her right now, but it’s hard to concentrate when she’s working her magic on me. I lightly kiss her sweetness, followed with the swipe of my tongue. Still bound and blindfolded, I realize she’s right; I don’t need to see her or touch her. She is in my heart and my soul. As she gets to the tip of my cock, I beg her—no, I plead with her—to please do the nip that I love so much. She swirls her tongue around the head, then stops, hums, and goes right back down. Sweet Jesus, and all that’s holy, I’m gonna die. When she gets to the top again, I hold my breath. I don’t have to beg; she squeezes me and nips the head of my cock. She knows just how I like it. I explode with a force that I never thought was possible. Not having the sense of sight and touch makes my orgasm so much more intense. I shake uncontrollably and let out an animalistic groan that sounds foreign to my own ears. I know I should be giving her what she needs, but right now, I can’t move . . . or even think, for that matter. Right now I’m just trying to breath. She climbs off of me and quickly begins to remove my bindings. “Jax, are you okay?”
I feel as if I’m in a daze. “Raven, I’ve never experienced anything like that before. It’s like all of my senses were magnified.” As she crawls into my arms, I glance down, taking a quick peek at my cock.
“His head didn’t blow off, Jax; he’s fine.”
I laugh, “I can’t get anything past you, sweetheart.” My fingertips stroke her back slowly, “Let me love you tonight. I know we can’t have traditional sex, but I can love you in so many other ways.”
She reaches up and pulls my forehead to hers. “Nothing about us has ever been traditional.”
I throw my head back laughing. “Oh, my sweet, sweet girl, let me show you exactly what I’m talking about.”
I KNOW I’VE TOUCHED upon a fear in him that he’s tried to keep buried. I can only hope that in time, he will see that I’m not going to disappear. Together—we’re both unraveling—one day at a time. I reach up and run my fingertips down his face. “ Love me tonight, before you go; slow and gentle, please.”
“My beautiful girl, you’ll never have to ask me twice.” He plants a sweet kiss on my lips. “Now, let me show you something different tonight.” He pulls the sheets over us, holding me tight. As he begins to lose himself in me, I feel a calm that wasn’t there before. I know we will face whatever is thrown at us, together.
I DECIDE TO GO over the file again before we have to leave. Something is bugging me but I’m not sure what. I know I don’t want to leave, but I would never let Jax and Bella go alone. I wish I could figure out what is making my tingle sense act up. I had it that day I went after Vincent. I didn’t listen to it, and I paid a heavy price. I thank God I listened and we didn’t go to that island. We would have been sitting ducks, waiting to be plucked off. Sometimes, I can’t seem to bring things to the surface of my mind, it’s like a salmon trying to swim upstream. I close my eyes and rub my temples. I sense her before I hear her, I always do. My whole body seems to come to life when I know she is near. I turn around and what I see stops me dead in my tracks. Jackie is standing before me with fire in her eyes. I’ve only seen her this mad one time, right before the condom broke.
“Hey, baby, what’s up?”
“Maxwell Fleming, don’t you ‘hey, baby’ me!”
Holy fuck—full name; I’m in deep shit here. “Um, are you mad at me for something?”
She has one hand on her hip and she’s pointing her finger at me. “Let me tell you what happened today. Maybe—just maybe—you will understand why I’m so pissed off. I went to see Mick today. I wanted to surprise you, so I asked him to teach me how to defend myself. I know you’re going away, and you know I don’t like guns, so I thought if I knew some self-defense moves, you would be more at ease. He informed me that he is not allowed to teach me because that would mean he would have to touch me. He said, and I quote, ‘No one is allowed to lay a finger on you, Jackie.’ Really, Max, have you lost your ever-loving mind? I’m not a child, and you can’t act like a crazy ass lunatic—that’s Jax’s job!”
“I could tell you that at the time I wasn’t in my right mind, but in all fairness, that’s not true. Honestly, the thought of anyone putting a finger on you makes me see red. If you want to learn how to protect yourself, I’ll be the one to teach you.”
“You don’t see anything wrong with this, do you? Your fear is smothering me. I love you, but you’re the one driving a wedge between us. My whole damn life has been turned upside down. I’ve constantly had to be the giver. I’ve given up my teaching career and my freedom. I’m only twenty-five and I’m being isolated yet again! My father isolated
me, and I fought so hard to be free, but that’s never going to happen for me is it, Max?”
“Please calm down, Jackie, whatever you need, please, just tell me.”
“I need a life, Max, a normal life. I need to feel self-worth. I want to grow and be able to teach.”
“I thought you loved your riding academy?”
“I do love it. You don’t get it.” She brings her hand up to her forehead and shakes slightly as if in disbelief. “I feel like I’m living in your fear.” Her hand darts off, emphasizing her point. “Your fear that’s overpowering me. I don’t want to see doom and gloom around every corner. I want to love life. Maybe it’s a Pollyanna way of thinking, but damn it, it’s what I want.”
I feel my heart constricting in my chest. If she leaves, I’ll die—I know it. “Please, I need to leave tonight, but I can’t leave you like this. I can’t let them go alone. Please don’t leave me.”
“I’m not leaving you. I need you just as much as you need me. I need you to stop smothering me, though. Let me live and let’s experience life together. I know you will always be overprotective—I get that—but let’s work together as a team, Max. Love me like the woman I am, and not like the child you’re afraid of losing.”
I lift her up and she wraps those beautiful legs around my waist. I rest my forehead on hers. “Please, give me a chance, I’m really trying.”
“Yes, you are, Maxwell.”
“Well, at least you can still joke. Now let me be the one to teach you some self-defense.”
“Is this going to be something I can really use?”
“Of course. But I think we need to be naked.”
“Naked self-defense classes? You can’t be serious.”
“Oh trust me, I’m serious. I need to show you all the points on the body that you can cause damage to.”
“Maybe we should wait till you get back. I have other plans for you tonight.”
She stops me dead in my tracks, and I gently put her back down. “Really?”
“You see, Max, you have no idea what I’m capable of. You think I’m a fragile, porcelain doll, but you couldn’t be further from the truth.”
“I know you’re strong and yet I love that you show me your submissive side.”
She sighs and looks away from me as a flush spreads across her cheeks. “I want to experiment and try new things. You’re the only man I’ve ever been with. I want more sexual experiences, and I want them with you.” She says so quickly, as if trying to get it over with.
This has been my fear, that I won’t be enough for her. My eyes are piercing hers, trying to figure out what she’s not saying. She seems apprehensive and nervous, picking at invisible lint on her shirt. “Do you regret not having more sexual experiences?”
“No, of course not. I want to start and end my days only with you. I want to explore every inch of your body, take on new highs with you. I promised I would be totally honest with you.” Her fingers are trembling as she runs them up and down my arm. “I don’t want to fall into a routine. I want to experience loving you and being loved by you. I don’t want to ever regret not having more sexual experiences with you. Does that make sense?” She leans into me and gently kisses my lips.
I lift her up and she wraps those fantastic legs around my waist. She wants different, I can do different. I gently place her on the kitchen table. “I fully intend on being the only one taking you to new highs. It’s important for you to know that I will never hurt you, but I will push the boundaries with you.”
Her eyes grow wide. “Um, will I need a safeword?”
My jaw tightens. “What do you know about that? What would make you think you need a safeword with me?”
“I might be inexperienced but I have read books, and I’ve seen movies. This is the twenty-first century, Max. I can tell you I don’t understand getting pleasure from pain.”
Her innocence is breathtakingly beautiful. “We are lovers and lovers will never need safewords. If we are doing something that you’re not comfortable with all you ever have to say to me is stop. I get no pleasure from giving or receiving pain. What gives me the greatest pleasure is when you let me love you. Everything we experience together gives me the greatest pleasure.” I realize that communication is everything for us. I’m determined to keep her forever and in order to do that, I have to let her in. “I will be more open with you, however, you must do the same. If you need something from me that I’m not giving you, then tell me. I promise to try to not treat you like a porcelain doll.”
“Well, in that case, before you get on that plane, I need you—bad. You and me, babe—all night.”
As my eyes gaze over her body, her nipples harden and I know this is going to be hard and fast. I lift her with one arm and yank down her yoga pants. “Hold on to the edge of the table and don’t let go.” I drop to my knees taking her pants all the way off. I kiss each foot as I place them on my shoulders. Oh, these legs are my undoing. I kiss them very slowly, working my way up one side and down the other. She’s using her feet to pull me in closer. When I finally reach my prize, I gently kiss her. I glance up and smile; the look on her face priceless. She’s biting her lip trying so hard not to let go of the table while her legs begin to tremble. I push my fingers in deeper while my tongue never loses contact. That is until her hips begin to lift up and down. She’s not going to last. I know she’s going to come, so I slow it down almost to a crawl.
She whimpers, with such angst. “Max, why the hell are you stopping?”
“Anticipation,” is all I say. She takes her hands off the table trying to push me, I stop completely. “Hands on the table or I will stop—now!” She grabs the table moaning, and fuck, it’s hot! Very slowly, I use my fingers and gently, I spread her wetness from front to back and I feel her tense. “I will be gentle, and remember, you can always say stop.” I feel her begin to relax. I work my tongue in and out of her as I push through her barrier with my pinky finger, matching the pace of my tongue. Sensing she’s almost there, I take her clitoris between my teeth and gently tug while flicking my tongue. She tries to move her hips but I’ve got a lock on her legs. Her feet are kicking my shoulders. She is screaming my name over and over again, like the song of an angel.
I stand up and drop my sweats while lifting her off the table. “You can let go now, but wrap those beautiful legs around me!” I gently slide my cock up and down gathering the sweet essence of her. I enter her very slowly. But slow is not what I need, and it’s not what she wants. “We’re going hard and fast, baby,” I warn her before I begin pounding into her. And she’s taking it all. I feel the sharp piercing of her nails breaking the skin of my shoulders. “Oh bloody hell with the fucking nails, babe!” I slow it down, trying to gain some sense of normal. There is no stopping; I can’t slow down. I pull back and pound into her, all the while, pulling her hips in hard to meet mine. My legs are shaking and I feel my blood surging through my veins. I look down at the sight before me, and that’s all I need. “Oh, Jackie, fuck . . . I’m coming, baby.” I explode with her like nothing I’ve ever experienced in my lifetime; we are both gasping, trying to gain some sort of control. “Babe, you okay?”
“More than okay,” she hums.
“God, Jackie, I don’t think I’ll ever get enough of you. I’m going to try to move as soon as I can feel my legs again.” Within a few moments, my legs come back to life. I carry her into our bedroom and crawl into bed. As I run my fingers up and down her spine, the thought of leaving tonight—leaving her—is killing me. I hold her in my arms until she falls asleep. Something is still bothering me with that file. I pull the quilt over her, while throwing on my discarded sweats, before heading into my office to look at it again. Spreading the file out, I take one document at a time. What the hell am I not seeing? Jax and Raven make lists for everything, but not me. I close my eyes and visualize each piece of paper . . . every word. Finally, it hits me, the piece of the puzzle that I’ve been missing. I’ve been so focused on his other families that
I almost missed the most basic thing. I need to talk to Jax. I’m about to call him, when I hear her come up behind me.
“Max, I woke up and you were gone.”
“I’m sorry. You fell asleep, and something has been nagging at me.”
She sits in my lap and begins lightly stroking the scar on my head. She knows this helps with the tension. “Oh no, Max, your tingle sense?” Just the mention of it freezes her in her tracks.
“Yeah, every time I pick up that damn file. I finally figured it out. I was just about to call Jax, but it can wait.”
She picks up the phone and hands it to me. “Call him right now. I know if you don’t, it will be in the back of your mind.”
“I love that you get me, babe. I’m going to head up to the main house; it shouldn’t take too long.” I gather up the file and run out the door, calling Jax along the way.
I HEAD INTO THE kitchen and find Max waiting for me. “Hey, mate, this better be fucking good. I was having the time of my life, you know.”
“Trust me, Jax, so was I,” he grumbles. “Something was bothering me with that file.”
“What’s the problem?” I question.
“I was so focused on the other families he destroyed, that I almost missed it. Remember your mum said he was in sales? Well, when I looked into his past, the only thing it ever said was just that. It never said what he sold, or any companies he was affiliated with. It was all very vague. How did he make so much money to be able to live the life he’s living? I checked to see if he was living off any of the women he was with, but they were not well off at all. Something’s missing and it’s bugging me.”
Shattered Lies Page 2