“I’m sorry to hear that,” Tanner interjected.
“Thank you. I guess there’s nothing much to say, really. Before I met Bertram, my ex-fiancé, I’d wanted to open a patisserie, but Bertram really needed someone to support him—I suppose in the same way my mother supported my father. Anyway…” she paused, discomfort clearly showing in her face, “I was at a loose end, so in a moment of sheer insanity, I thought I’d try the mail order agency and see where life led me. And here I am.” Heather took a gulp of wine this time, she sounded pathetic even to her own ears. She couldn’t imagine what he thought of her. She smiled brightly, but when she met Tanner’s eyes, she just saw understanding, not pity.
“Sounds like you had to get back on your feet pretty quick. That must have been tough. You’re brave. It must have taken a lot of courage to get on that plane.” Tanner could see the hurt she was trying to hide, and his heart went out to her. It sounded like she’d given a lot to a man that had clearly been using her for the connections. Tanner hoped he never ran into the guy.
“Anyway, I’m glad I met you and Chloe. It’s been a pleasure getting to know you both.” Heather wanted to change the subject, and to her relief the food arrived. It smelled absolutely mouth-watering.
“Sweet pepper crab cakes, breast of pheasant, bison short ribs, and Wagyu beef,” announced the waiter, “The chef insisted you have a taste of the best dishes on the menu.” He smiled at the couple, “Enjoy. And please let me know if I can get you anything else.”
“My goodness.” Heather surveyed the table. The sweet aroma of roasted chestnuts, pine nuts, and various spices that flavored the meats filled her senses.
“I hope you’re hungry,” Tanner grinned at her, “I’m just warning you now that I’m violently opposed to women that don’t have an appetite, so don’t leave me hanging.”
Heather laughed out loud, “There’s no chance of that. This all looks absolutely amazing.”
Tanner raised a glass, “A toast. To you, Heather Ayer, thank you for coming to our home.” They clinked glasses, and Heather met Tanner’s eyes across the table. She suddenly decided to put her reservations about Tanner aside, he might not return her feelings of lust and desire, but he was a good and honest man. She could enjoy being in his company this evening and let her problems vanish off into the horizon. She’d be a fool not to enjoy being on a patio with a drop-dead gorgeous man, about to share a delicious meal.
14
They drove through the town in a comfortable silence. The sunset had disappeared, and the sky was awash in navy blue, the mountain pines appearing as black paper cut-out silhouettes. Heather had opened her window, and the sweet air filled the truck, making her feel drowsy and peaceful.
“Heather?” Tanner’s voice sounded strange. She glanced over at him, but he kept his eyes on the road. “I want you to stay.”
She didn’t respond. She didn’t really know what she wanted anymore. Her original ideas of being a companion to Tanner had started to seem unrealistic given her constant and unrelenting attraction to him. He also seemed to blow hot and cold, and she really didn’t understand the dynamics of their relationship anymore. Maybe she could stay a few weeks and help him out for a bit, and then go back and try to pick up the pieces of her life back in New York.
“I don’t know, Tanner. It’s been wonderful,” she hesitated, “but maybe it’s not the best idea.”
“I know our situation is unconventional, but I think we could make it work. If we both wanted it to.” Tanner kept his eyes on the road, not daring to look over at Heather. He knew there was a big chance that he could lose her, and that was unthinkable. He knew he’d given her the initial impression that he didn’t want her around and had spent the day and evening trying to subtly hint otherwise.
Heather looked over at him. Watching his profile in the dim light, she became aware of how manly and warm he seemed to her in that moment. And how much she longed to be curled up in his arms. Would it always be like this? Would she be happy to stay with him if she were to become a mother to Chloe but without having anything other than a professional and distant relationship with Tanner? The best she could hope for would be friendship, and she wasn’t sure she could handle that. What if another woman came into the picture?
“I don’t know, Tanner,” she repeated the words softly and with sorrow.
“I don’t want you to leave. I want you to stay with me, with us. Not just for Chloe’s sake.” His jaw clenched; he couldn’t be too raw with his feelings. Not yet. There was so much he wanted to say to her, but the stakes were too high, and there was too much at risk if she rejected him completely.
“Why don’t you want me to leave?” Heather asked. She instantly regretted the question and hardly dared to breathe as she waited for his response.
Tanner had turned up the driveway to the ranch and was shifting gears to get the wheels through the soft ground, “Before I tell you that, there’s something I need to show you.”
Heather felt waves of crashing disappointment flow through her body. Of course, it wasn’t going to be the answer she wanted. Other than being perfect, pleasant, and polite today, he’d given no indication of stronger or romantic feelings toward her. Except for the kiss. Her body tingled at the memory. But that had clearly been a mistake. Clearly.
Tanner turned off the engine and jumped down from the driver’s seat. He crossed the front of the truck over to Heather’s side and opened the door for her, holding out his hand for her to take as she stepped down. As her small hand slid into his, she felt the warmth emanating from his body, smelled his musky male scent mixed with fresh soap.
“Will you come with me to the barn?” his lips were close enough to her face that they tickled her ears and sent a shiver running down her spine. She could only nod in return, hardly able to breathe with him in such close proximity, let alone speak.
She followed him in silence, staying close. The ranch was in complete darkness. Chloe and Josiah must have already gone to bed. She stumbled on a patch of uneven grass, and Tanner spun around and caught her.
“Sorry, I was going too fast. Are you okay?” She was pressed up against his torso, feeling his smooth hardness beneath his cotton t-shirt.
“I’m fine, thanks.” She removed herself slowly from his body. Trying to steady her breathing as they proceeded to walk to the barn side by side.
Tanner switched on the light and a solitary bulb flickered, casting a soft glow over the various pieces of farming machinery and neatly ordered tools. They stood in the center, directly beneath the light.
“There’s something I need to be honest about, if we’re going to make this work.” He took a deep breath and ran his hands through his hair, messing it up. “I’m not exactly… normal,” he exhaled. Heather felt a sinking feeling in the pit of her stomach. She had absolutely no idea what he was trying to tell her, but judging by his anxious demeanor, it wasn’t good.
“Both my brother and I are the same. We… well… we change. No one knows other than us, not even Chloe. But I can’t seem to keep myself in check around you, and I want you to see me for who I really am.” Tanner wanted to explain more, about who she really was to him, but tonight would be shocking enough without her also thinking she was bound to him in anyway, or that she owed him anything. If she was disgusted, then they could go their separate ways, and that would be all there was to it.
“It’s okay, Tanner. Whatever it is, just tell me, I can deal.” Heather steeled herself. She could deal with whatever it was. She wanted to know everything about Tanner and his life before she could make a final decision about staying or leaving.
“Can you turn around?” Tanner asked, looking directly at her. His gaze was heated, and Heather felt a rush of lust run through her, mingling with the apprehension she was already feeling. She dutifully turned around, facing the wall of the barn.
She heard the sound of his shirt lightly hitting the floor, the zipper of his jeans being pulled down, and then the clunk of his belt as
it landed on the wooden boards. What in the world was the man doing? Should she be frightened? It was so quiet she could hear their breathing, both of their bodies creating heavy, short breaths that betrayed their nerves.
Tanner closed his eyes, relaxing his body and letting the fluttering of energy that had formed in his abdomen grow. It spread like wildfire through his central nervous system, flares of heat zipping through his veins. His body started to change, his torso grew longer and wider, his solid muscle tearing and ripping to form something entirely different. His hands turned to claws, and he let himself fall forward to the natural all-fours position of his inner beast. He roared, an animalistic and raw sound that shuddered through him and punctured the quiet of the barn.
He could see Heather standing in front of him. She still had her face turned to the wall, but her whole body was trembling in fear. He took a few steps forward, and nudged her with his nose at the small of her back. With agonizing slowness, she turned to face him. In her eyes, he read complete and utter disbelief as she took in his form.
“Tanner… what the…? Is that you?” she whispered, her voice barely audible. The trembling hadn’t ceased. Her heart was hammering in her rib cage so loudly they could both hear it. Tanner couldn’t say anything, so he just looked at her, trying to convey that he wasn’t a threat to her through his eyes.
“I can’t, I can’t believe… that I’m seeing this.” Heather felt shell-shocked. The complete unreality of the situation sent her head spinning, and she felt like she would faint. Instead, she tentatively reached out her hand. Part of her insisted she was going insane, and the other part wanted to reach out and stroke the luxurious fur surrounding his face. When her fingertips landed on his coarse fur, a shiver went through her body. He was so beautiful and wild. She couldn’t tear her eyes away from him, marveling at the enormous, ferocious looking bear in front of her.
“You’re so beautiful, Tanner.” She ran a finger down his snout and then slowly moved alongside him, repeatedly stroking the fur down his back and then following down to his hind legs. In this light his fur was a dark, chocolate brown. Heather suspected that in daylight his coat would look exactly like his human hair would, flecked with light brown and gold.
As she became more comfortable with him, her caresses deepened, and she luxuriated in the feeling of him beneath her hands, fur gently tickling her lower forearm. Tanner started to emit a low-toned hum that shook his entire body, similar to that of a cat purring. Heather smiled to herself and continued to caress the beautiful beast.
“I don’t know if you can understand me or not when you’re like this. But you are incredible, Tanner, you’re so incredible.”
Tanner could understand her and felt a blissful stillness encompass him. He never in a million years believed that he’d get a reaction like this, especially not from someone as pure and true as Heather. He nudged his nose into her side, trying to indicate that he’d understood her and how much he appreciated it.
“Will you change back? I want to tell you that I’m not going to leave. I’ll stay as long as I’m wanted or needed.”
Tanner backed away from her to let his human form reemerge. It was difficult with Heather being in the room. His primal instincts felt dominant, and they fought against his human will. He turned away and closed his eyes, trying to calm himself and forget her presence. It took a while, but eventually he felt his muscles contract and the cool air of the barn caress his naked human skin.
Looking up from his crouched position on the floor, he found Heather staring at him. She had watched his transformation this time. Her eyes were widened in astonishment, but as she gazed at his form, her expression changed. He saw her face heat up, a ripe blush spreading across her cheeks.
He hastily found his boxers and jeans, aware that his erection was plainly visible. Once dressed, he stepped closer to Heather, who hadn’t moved from her spot across the barn.
“I can’t tell you what it means that you’re not…repulsed by me this way.”
Heather was momentarily taken aback by his words. Why would anyone be repulsed by such a magnificent creature? Before she could say anything, Tanner had stepped closer to her and bent his head downward, and the words stuck in her mouth. Her throat ran dry as she became consumed by the desire to be wrapped in his strong arms, to move her head up an inch to meet his waiting lips.
Tanner ran his hand gently down her side, skating the edge of her breast and coming to rest on her hip. A shudder ran through her, and she closed the space between them. His hand tightened in response, his thumb digging into the curve of her hipbone and sending a shooting pleasure straight to her core.
As their lips met, Heather inhaled his warm breath and arched her body against his. His kiss deepened, Tanner exploring her mouth as if he couldn’t get enough of her taste. Heather reached her hands to trace the trail of his spine up his back. Tanner groaned against her, Heather’s lips reverberating with his sound.
“Not here. Come into the house. I want you in my bed.” Tanner’s voice was thick and soft like honey, and Heather gazed up at him. Reading the unabashed lust in his eyes, she nodded in agreement.
15
Tanner shut the bedroom door quietly behind him. Heather had turned on the bedside lamp, casting a warm glow over the bedroom. She stood waiting by the side of the bed, watching him as he approached.
Her face glowed in the half-light, and it lit up her hair so the strands appeared hazy and soft, with tinges of red running through it. Tanner’s erection felt like it was pulsing, on and off all day. His blood had been continually rushing downward without offering it any kind of release. Being around Heather was a continual interplay of pleasure and pain, as he fought his instincts in order to behave like a gentleman. Finally, he didn’t have to hold back any longer, and he stalked toward her.
Heather lifted her head slightly, expecting a kiss. Instead, Tanner reached out and gently tugged down part of her wrap-around top, exposing her bra cup and the plump creamy breast spilling out of it. He ran a finger slowly over her cleavage before pulling the bra cup away. He leaned down, placing his lips on her breast and gently sucked her nipple whilst flicking its tip with his tongue. Heather gasped, the slow sucking motion made her breasts feel achingly heavy and full. He repeated the action, moving over to the other breast, and shivers ran down Heather’s sides.
She reached out and ran her fingers through Tanner’s hair, recalling the thick, luxurious hair of his bear. Tanner groaned softly and moved his mouth upward to take hers in a deep kiss. She could feel his erection pushing against her thigh, and her panties grew damp in response.
Tanner cupped her breasts in his hands, gently pushing them upward and teasing her nipples with his thumb.
“These are beautiful. Damn, Heather, I can’t tell you how much I’ve wanted you,” his voice was raspy and low. Faint, short breaths escaped his mouth. He broke away and roughly removed her top, expertly unclasping her bra so that it fell to the floor. He moved back to kiss her, and her nipples hardened as they gently grazed his bare chest. His fingers reached up and ran through her hair, massaging the top of her neck as he did so, sending torrents of pleasure cascading down Heather’s back.
Gently Tanner moved Heather backward onto his bed. He guided her down so she was lying on her back and peppered kisses from her collarbone down to her stomach. Unfastening the button and zipper of her pants, he continued to kiss down her lower abdomen, stopping at the top of her panties. Tanner ran his tongue softly along the lace lining and then pulled away to remove her clothing, leaving only her panties still in place.
Tanner marveled at the beautiful woman reclining on his bed. Heather’s full breasts with their hardened nipples begged to be caressed, and he longed to push his throbbing erection against her soft, rosy flesh. Without clothes on, he could finally see her magnificent curves. In the warm light, she looked like a Botticelli angel, voluptuous and welcoming.
With a groan, Tanner leaned forward on the bed and gently spread her
legs apart, exposing the dampness of her panties. Embarrassed, Heather tried to reach down and cover it with her hands, but Tanner firmly grasped her hands, holding them over her head. He saw the blush on her cheeks intensify.
“Heather,” he said gently, “look at how much I want you. Don’t hide from me.” Heather eyes were drawn to the obvious bulge pushing against his jeans and his lightly trembling torso, her own desire rippling through her at witnessing his.
He placed one of his hands between her legs, gently caressing the damp lips of her sex through the lace underwear. He felt the wetness grow and smiled to himself, ever so slightly intensifying the pressure of his movements. Heather’s eyelids were half-closed in pleasure, and Tanner could see her chest rapidly rise and fall in response to his touch.
He gently pulled the crotch of her panties to the side, exposing her to the cool air of the room. With one finger, he traced the outline of her delicate folds, watching them swell and moisten at his touch. When he heard her release a soft moan, he slipped his finger into her entrance, massaging the more sensitive skin within. Finding her hardening bud, he stroked it gently, feeling her wetness gush from within her, dampening the bed sheets beneath them.
“You’re so wet, Heather. Look at how much you want me,” Tanner rasped, trying to control the movements of his finger to keep his touch light. Heather almost whimpered in return, and he could see her thighs clench in response to her pleasure.
The restriction of Tanner’s jeans was now agony. He leaned backward to unfasten his button, and felt Heather’s hands cover his.
“Let me.” She looked up at him with her beautiful, angelic face, and he melted at the open and innocent gaze that met his. He nodded briefly, words dying on his lips as with trembling fingers she slowly released his zipper and gasped as his boxer-clad, heavy erection was exposed.
Jackson Valley Shifters Complete Series: Bear Shifter Romance Page 6