by West, Shay
They would spend hours wandering in the large cemetery overlooking the river and nearby railroad tracks. From there it was only a short climb down the sandstone cliffs to the west of the cemetery. They would wander the railroad tracks that paralleled the Gunnison River. When the occasional coal train would rumble by, Simon and Paul would leave a penny on the tracks before fleeing. The girls would stand and watch, nervous and anxious, even though the boys always left more than enough time to get out of the way of the slow-moving train. Once it had safely passed, they retrieved the flattened penny. Alex had one on her bedroom dresser.
Alex grew more excited as the first two weeks of October passed. Her birthday was a few short days away and she had invited some of the girls to spend the night camping in the backyard of her aunt’s house. The only thing that seemed to get worse with time was the way Catelyn Montgomery treated her.
Alex had been excited to wear her new clothes that her aunt bought her, only to have her mood ruined when Catelyn made a big deal out of her finally dressing like everyone else. She didn’t have enough new clothes to wear something new every day so she was forced to wear her old clothes, at which point Catelyn would make fun of her for wearing rags. Catelyn made fun of her hair, no matter how she wore it, she made fun of her when she wore no make-up, then when Alex would wear it the following day, Catelyn would tell her she looked like a clown.
And worst of all, Beau didn’t seem to notice Alex any more when she was wearing skinny jeans and a cute shirt than when she was wearing her old jeans and some ragged top. Nothing Alex did seemed to make any difference. Maybe I should just stop trying.
Alex tried to forget about Catelyn Montgomery and enjoy her birthday. For the first time in many years, she was excited about her birthday. Her father was an avid hunter and insisted on buying a tag for second rifle season, which usually encompassed October 16, Alex’s birthday. It was a rare occasion when she was able to celebrate on October 16. The family usually did cake and gifts many days after her actual birthday.
Alex couldn’t wait for the day to end. The fact that her birthday fell on a Friday made her even more excited for the sleepover with her friends. She fidgeted in History class, barely paying attention to the teacher.
Until he called her name.
“Alex. Can you please come back to the here-and-now and tell us the difference between the two different classes of courtesans?”
Alex sat up, blushing. “Ummm…the cortigiana onestra were the more intellectual and highly regarded courtesans while the cortigiana di lume were considered lower class.”
“Very good. Now then, one thing to remember about courtesans is they often had privileges that even the noblewomen of the day did not have…”
Alex sat back and pictured herself as a courtesan, dressed in the most luxurious dresses, wearing the finest jewelry, reading and writing poetry and music, having the grace and beauty of a swan, able to make any man swoon.
She blushed again when she realized what being a courtesan actually meant. It was more than the fancy clothes, the finest food, the coveted education; courtesans were also the companions of some of the most powerful noblemen. Alex knew what sort of companionship they provided. I don’t care how much money some guy gave me. I couldn’t do the things they would be expected to do.
When the bell rang, she dashed to her locker, and waited impatiently for her friends to arrive. She had invited Jennifer, Amy, Brittany, Paul, and Simon to her house for pizza and movies. The girls would be staying the night.
She had also invited Beau. She had been terrified to place the invitation in his hand, and hoped he would not tell her “no” right then and there. He had smiled absently and tucked it away in his pants pocket.
All week she had waited for his answer, hoping against hope that he would agree to come. She had been too nervous to actually ask him if he planned on coming.
“Let’s go, Alex! We can’t start the party without the birthday girl, ya know.” Jennifer said, knowing exactly why Alex was holding back. She knew the only reason Beau was nice to Alex was so she would do his homework. He would flash his pearly whites and Alex would sigh and tell him the answers. She also knew he would never in a million years come to Alex’s party, but she didn’t have the heart to say so. She figured the only way for Alex to find out was for him to just not show up.
Alex heard footsteps coming from behind and whirled, ready to tease Beau for keeping her waiting, and her breath caught in her throat.
It was Catelyn and a group of the cheerleaders, holding a piece of paper and laughing hysterically. When Catelyn spotted Alex and her friends her eyes narrowed and she whispered conspiratorially with the other girls.
“Oh, look! If it isn’t little miss birthday girl,” Catelyn looked Alex up and down, a look of disgust on her face. “Apparently your parents can’t afford to even get you decent clothes for your birthday. Lame.”
Alex was in fact wearing a new outfit she had just purchased with the money she had earned from working at her aunt’s store.
Catelyn widened her eyes. “Oh, sorry! I said parents. I meant to say mother. Must be tough, having a father just up and leave, and having to rely on the pity of your aunt to get by.”
Alex couldn’t breathe. Catelyn’s words were like slaps to the face. Alex could feel them like actual physical blows. “You shut up about my family.” How did she find out about my dad leaving?
“I wouldn’t exactly call you and your mom a “family”, but whatever.” Catelyn waved her hand dismissively. She beckoned to the other girls who were laughing and texting on their touch-screen phones.
Alex’s friends had formed a circle around her, as if trying to protect her. Jennifer and Amy stood to either side of her. Jennifer looked like she was going to cry.
“Just leave us alone,” Amy said.
Catelyn turned and glanced at the piece of paper in her hand. “Beau wanted me to give this to you,” She tossed the paper at Alex’s feet. She laughed and said loud enough for Alex to hear her: “She actually thought he would come. I don’t think I have seen anything more sad and ridiculous.”
Alex couldn’t breathe, even after the girls had left, the door closing off the sound their laughter. She didn’t make a move to pick up the paper. She knew it was her invitation, crumpled up like it was garbage.
Guess he thinks I am nothing but garbage too. Alex hugged herself as she turned to go.
“I don’t feel like having a party. Sorry guys.” Alex cried as she ran for the door.
“Alex, wait!” Jennifer called, but Alex didn’t answer. She boarded the bus and took a seat alone. Hot tears of rage and humiliation fell down her face. Her shook with the force of the emotions raging inside. The other students on the bus stared and whispered but not one of them even thought to ask if she was okay. They don’t care. No one cares about anyone.
When she arrived at her aunt’s house, she bypassed the front door and ran around the back, heading for the guesthouse. She hoped no one was around. The last thing she wanted to do was talk to anyone.
She threw her backpack on the table and ran to her room, her breath hitching in her throat with the force of her sobs. She flung herself down on the bed.
Alex did not know how long she lay there until her mother came bursting through the door, calling her name.
“Why didn’t you come to the main house? We were waiting for you and when you didn’t show up on time, I was ready to call the police!” Patricia stood with her hands on her hips. “Thank God Jennifer called instead.”
“I just wanted to be left alone.” Alex said. Her face felt hot and puffy.
“Want to tell me what happened?” Patricia sat on the bed. Jennifer had filled her in but she hoped Alex would talk to her.
“Please Mom, I don’t want to talk about it.”
“Don’t you want to come to the house and see what everyone has done? We worked really hard getting everything ready for you and your friends.”
“I don’t want a stupi
d party! Why did we have to come here? Why couldn’t you have found a job back home? Why can’t we force Dad to give us money? Why can’t we leave? I hate it here!” Alex sat up and moved to the edge of her bed as far from her mother as possible. She raged at the unfairness of it all and wanted to unleash it.
“That’s not fair, Alex, and you know it,” Patricia said quietly.
“I bet you told Catelyn all about dad too, didn’t you? How else would she know? I haven’t told anyone.” Alex shouted.
“Alexis Dawn! I Why on earth would you accuse me of such a thing?” Patricia was becoming angry and thought that perhaps she should just leave Alex alone.
“Well, someone told her,” Alex said stubbornly.
“Be that as it may, it doesn’t change the fact that a lot of people went to a lot of trouble for your party. Now you are going to march in there and say thank you to your aunt and C.C. If you don’t want to eat and open your presents, that’s your business, but I didn’t raise you to be ungrateful, young lady,” Patricia tried to keep her voice from shaking.
Alex stood and huffed out the door, not even waiting for her mom. She wanted to throw something or hit something. Her fists were balled at her sides and she was breathing through clenched teeth.
She flung open the door, startling her aunt and C.C. sitting at the island in the kitchen.
“Sorry I don’t feel like a party. I am grateful for what you’ve done,” Alex threw as much sarcasm into her words as she possibly could. She doubted that anyone had put in that much of an effort. Her mom and aunt had worked all day and it was C.C.’s job to do stuff like this. Alex turned to go and about ran into her mom. “There, are you happy now?”
“What has gotten into you? I know what that girl said was mean but maybe if you hadn’t made such a big secret of your father leaving, she wouldn’t have been able to hurt you, would she?” Patricia said.
“So you’re saying that this is my fault?” Alex felt the tears come again. She could not believe that her mother was sticking up for Catelyn.
Patricia sighed, exasperated. “That’s not what I meant…”
Alex turned on her, face red with fury. “That’s exactly what you meant! Well, I guess I will just air all of our family secrets for everyone then and hopefully that will stop people from picking on me.” Alex turned to go.
“Oh, Alex. I’m so sorry,” Karen had her hands over her mouth. “I was talking to Mrs. Montgomery in the store. She is a nice lady and we always chat. I told her about you guys and how glad I am you are staying with me. Catelyn must have overheard.” Karen looked like she wanted to crawl into a deep dark hole.
“From now on, please don’t chat with complete strangers about our business.” Alex slammed the door on the way out, furious with her aunt and her big mouth ruining her birthday.
As she lay in bed, hugging her pillow, she could hear her mom in the kitchen of the guesthouse, slamming pots and pans around, banging cupboard doors, mumbling under her breath.
Her mother knocked on the closed bedroom door. Alex lay there in silence, hoping she would go away.
“I have to work tomorrow. I left your gifts on the table.”
Alex didn’t say anything. Opening some lame gifts was the last thing on her mind. Probably some socks and a scarf or something. Rage and jealousy filled her again. She wished her family had money like her aunt and uncle. She thought if they were rich, and if she had better clothes and a cell phone, the popular girls would like her and stop picking on her.
She rolled over and grabbed her iPod, falling asleep to the music softly playing.
CHAPTER 10
SATURDAY DAWNED CLOUDY and cool. At least the day fits my mood. She lay in bed awhile longer, putting off getting up as long as possible. Unfortunately, her full bladder forced her from her bed.
She looked in the mirror and cringed. Her eyes were bloodshot and her mascara had run, giving her dark circles under her eyes. Her nose was stuffy, as though she had a cold. She stuck her tongue out at her reflection.
Alex ate breakfast in the living room, barely tasting her cereal, watching an infomercial. She stared at the TV as if in a trance, chewing automatically, eyes glazed.
Several presents sat on the kitchen table but Alex could care less about opening them. As she sat and stared at the TV, she realized she was a little curious as to what was in the presents.
After a few more minutes, she stood up. Normally she loved opening presents. Alex could barely contain herself during holidays and birthdays. She even got excited when someone else had gifts.
Alex slowly opened the largest of the presents from her aunt and uncle. They had given her more clothes and an iTunes gift card. I can get a new CD.
She opened all of the ones that had names on them and was somewhat pleased with most of the loot. Her grandmother sent her make-up (which she always did) and her other aunt sent her a robe better suited to a ten year-old than a girl in high school.
She also got a dozen books, all of them historical in nature. Her crazy uncle, Jackson, had gotten her a book about the history of Deadwood, South Dakota. He was convinced he was a direct descendant of Wild Bill Hickok, even though she knew that wasn’t true. She received books on ancient Egypt, famous explorers, the history of weaponry, Vlad III, also known as Vlad the Impaler, and even a novel called The Book of Kells by R.A. MacAvoy. Alex rolled her eyes and snorted. Now isn’t that ironic?
She furrowed her brow at a package that did not have a name on it. She hadn’t opened one from her mom yet and assumed this was from her. The package was heavy, even though it was so small. She tore off the paper and she squealed in delight and almost dropped the box.
On the front of the box was a picture of the hot new touchscreen phone. It has to be just the box. It can’t possibly be a phone! Alex’s hands shook as she opened the box. Her heart swelled as she pulled out the sleek black phone. She sat at the table and cried, berating herself for acting like such a baby the night before. She knew her mother would have wanted to see her face as she opened the present. She was wracked with guilt at all of the horrible things she had said both aloud and in her own head.
And I just left my friends standing in the hallway at school. What am I going to say to them? Alex wanted to crawl into a hole and hide from what she knew she must do. She hated admitting she was wrong and hated apologizing even more. But this was one time where she had to make things right, and she had to do so quickly.
She jumped up, ran to the bathroom, and showered. She grabbed her purse and counted the money she had. She hoped it would be enough.
She ran to the kitchen, called a cab company, and asked them for a rate quote to Uptown Girl on Main Street. The woman on the line told her it would be about $15 one way. Alex quickly counted and told her to send over a cab.
She waited at the front gate of the main house, pacing back and forth, her mind all in a jumble.
The cab arrived and she gave him the location of her aunt’s store. She stared at the new phone, hardly daring to believe she actually had a cell phone. Her chest constricted with excitement and it was all she could do not to giggle and squeal in the back seat of the cab. She went over several speeches in her head, hoping she could come up with the right words to convey her feelings to her aunt and mom. Everything she tried sounded pretentious and fake.
She paid the cabby, thanked him, and ran across the street to the store. She took a deep breath, trying to remember what she had planned on saying.
Alex saw her mom first and all of the words she had memorized vanished. She ran to her mom, not caring at all about the elderly lady shopping. She hugged her mom tight, until her mother gently loosened her daughter’s arms so that she could catch a breath. Alex tried to speak but the words wouldn’t come.
“It’s all right, Alex,” Patricia hugged her daughter. “What do you say we activate that new phone?”
Alex laughed through her tears. “I can’t even believe you would do this for me.” She shook her head in disbelief.
“You might think I’m an evil mom who doesn’t want to get you anything “cool” or “hip”, but you’re wrong, Alex. I would give you the whole world if I could,” Patricia whispered.
“You do enough, Mom.” Alex vowed to be a better daughter, less demanding and more understanding.
“Let’s get that phone activated and then let’s help in the back,” Patricia walked over to the front desk. “Now there are a few ground rules with this phone. I want it off while you’re in school and there is to be no downloading of any ring tones.”
Alex was just so happy she could finally text and call her friends that she agreed to the rules without one word of complaint.
She turned to her aunt, feeling the heat rise to her face when she remembered her behavior the night before. “I’m so sorry for all those things I said.” Tears sprang to her eyes.
“I know you didn’t mean it,” Karen hugged Alex close. “Tell you what, why don’t you see if your friends want to come to the house tonight for a party?”
Alex squealed. “Are you sure?”
“Of course! See what your friends say and I’ll call C.C. and she’ll take care of things.”
Alex hugged her aunt and her mother again, tears of happiness and gratitude falling down her cheeks.
She knew she had a lot more apologizing to do. She took a deep breath and got down to it, wanting to get things back to normal. It took sincere apologies, cajoling, and pleading to get her friends to agree to come to the house that night.
“I wasn’t planning on ever speaking to you again but since you have the coolest phone ever, I suppose I can come hang out for a while,” Jennifer said.
The day flew by and Alex was on cloud nine. She tried to focus on the tasks at hand but kept getting distracted looking at the beautiful new phone. She was filled with such happiness and love she thought she would burst. Alex did not know how a person could experience such a huge range of emotions in such a short time without being ripped to pieces.