by Jilian Rouge
“Lady Rumina, allow me to introduce you to my sister-in-law, Mrs. Aida Stanhope,” Lady Edith said as she waved the older woman to come closer.
“Pleased to meet you,” Rumina said politely.
Mrs. Stanhope offered a kind smile in greeting, ushered her daughter forward, and said, “Have you met my oldest, Amelia?”
Shaking her head, Rue stuck out her hand in greeting towards the young woman. “How do you do?”
Amelia Stanhope, however, did not answer, and Rue was surprised to see her look at her proffered hand in disdain. But she took it gingerly for the briefest of moments and snatched her hand back almost as soon as their hands had touched. Rue chose to ignore the slight and turned her attention to the next Stanhope family member.
“Little Christian Stanhope, I presume?” she asked tentatively, smiling. “I hope you haven’t forgotten me after all of the scrapes we had gotten into when we were younger.”
With his full attention on her now, his eyes widened in appreciation of the sight she made before him. She knew her looks were not all the rage in London, but she was wearing her favorite ice blue day dress and she had always felt pretty in it. With her dark tresses carefully coiffed above her head, she looked every bit the ice queen Lord Geoffrey proclaimed her to be.
Lady Edith took the opportunity to re-introduce them. “Christian, you remember our neighbor, Lady Rumina, don’t you? Like you, she is here for my midsummer ball, and I had just been telling her about your arrival.”
Stepping forward to accept Rue’s outstretched hand in greeting, Christian said, “Lady Rumina, it has been some time since we last saw each other, hasn’t it?”
“Yes, and I see that you have grown to be quite unlike how I remember you. It’s good to see you again, Christian,” she said with a small smile.
“And I, you. If you are referring to the fact that I have outgrown my gangliness and awkwardness, then I am glad to have surprised you with my new appearance,” he said laughingly. Rue discovered she quite liked his laugh and the gentle air about him. “And I am equally glad to have met you again here at Ravenscroft, where we had spent most of the summers together.”
Lady Edith interjected, “And I am happy to have the two of you reunited if only to have an even number for the ball. All in all, I believe Rumina would enjoy the company of a handsome gentleman while she is here for the week.”
With a conspiratorial wink meant for Rumina, she continued addressing Christian while Rue could only look on helplessly as Lady Edith droned on. “Christian, if I can confide in you, she has not had the best time in London, and could use some cheering up by someone as jovial as yourself.”
Looking sympathetic towards Rue, Christian admitted, “Aunt Edith gives me too much credit. I know I’m not the merriest of fellows, nor am I known for my jovial ways, but I will do my best.” Rue immediately saw that the man Christian was now wasn’t entirely changed from the young boy she once knew. His reserved nature was evident in his discomfort, and Rue sought to put him at ease.
“That’s all right, Aunt Edith. I am sure we will find ample company for everyone involved,” Amelia supplied helpfully before Rue could reply. “My brother and I are here at your disposal after all. You only need tell us how we can help for your ball.”
Surprised at Amelia’s offer of help, Lady Edith replied kindly, “Thank you, my dear. I will be sure to count on you, but only if I need it. But for the time being, let me see to your comfort first. I am sure you will all want to rest and freshen up before supper. Alistair, will you please show everyone to their rooms?”
At Alistair’s arrival at the door, Christian shot her a cheeky wink before following after his mother and sister. Once the Stanhopes followed the butler out of the drawing room, Lady Edith sighed loudly, “Rue dearest, I must warn you. My niece, for whatever reason, has no kind word for you, and I apologize on her behalf for her rudeness earlier.”
“Whatever could I have done to her that would make her feel that way? We have never met before today,” Rue said, perplexed.
“I can’t be sure, but since she was left behind at home all of those summers her brother would come here, I believe she may have been jealous.”
“But that was all so long ago!”
“I know, but I have mostly given up trying to decipher my niece’s thoughts and doings. And now that Christian is here, mayhap you will give him cause to further his interest in you. Now, all I need to make me happy is for my son to finally come home!”
Rue blanched, not sure she heard Lady Edith correctly. “Alex? Is he—is he coming back?”
“Yes, dearest, in due time. He had written me earlier to announce he will be home for good this time. With any luck, he should be here a few days before the ball.”
Reeling at the news, Rue was fortunate she was seated, otherwise she would have found herself looking up in shock at Lady Edith from the floor. Lady Edith continued, ignorant of Rue’s state of speechlessness, “He is looking for a bride, and I, as his mother, decided to help him in that sphere. With the ball forthcoming, I had invited a few suitable young ladies who would make him an excellent countess.”
Rue couldn’t bear to hear anymore, not when it seemed that there was no longer any spark of hope that she and Alex could mend what was between them. Their past stood between them, a chasm ever widening as time passed, filling up with all of the words they withheld from each other. With Lady Edith’s own endorsement of these unknown females, Rue was forced to accept that there was no place for her in Alex’s life with the exception of her place in his childhood memories.
No longer a child, Rue reminded herself that she had an obligation to fulfill as her father’s heiress by marrying well. Although she had not come to Ravenscroft with that purpose in mind, she realized that she might as well explore the option of seeing if Christian would suit as a potential husband. During their brief encounter, he seemed as pleasant as he remembered.
And therein, lay the rub. Rue’s own memories of Christian as a young boy generated nothing more than a remembered mild fondness for him. In comparison, it was nothing like the heart-stuttering emotions Alex unknowingly invoked deep within her. Which, now that she had given it more thought, was a pity since this new version of Christian was certainly pleasing to the eye, not to mention worthy of her consideration as a lifelong partner.
If Lady Edith thought the pair of them a good match, who was she to dispute the wisdom of a more experienced woman, one who only sought the best for her? She had always been able to trust Lady Edith’s judgment and had relied heavily upon it since her own dear mother’s passing. When it concerned her future, she could not afford to make a misstep by rushing headlong into a marriage that would not suit.
For the moment, she needed a clearer head to think over Lady Edith’s suggestion at considering Christian. And to do that, music had always been her favorite method for clearing her mind.
“If you’ll excuse me, Lady Edith, I believe I’ll seek out the music room,” Rue said, wanting to badly escape Lady Edith’s droning commendations of other women so she could think clearly.
“Oh, of course, dearest. I will see you at supper.” Luckily for Rue, Lady Edith had known her long enough to know that music was Rue’s way of reasoning out mental puzzles that required heavier thought and she let the younger woman escape.
Rue couldn’t leave the drawing room fast enough without looking too eager to leave. Once she was out of Lady Edith’s sight, Rue shot forward with a burst of speed in the familiar direction of the Ravenscroft music room, keen on finding solace there.
4
For the many summers that Rue had spent at Ravenscroft, the direction of its music room was as familiar to her as a well-read book. And it had been a place of comfort to her as of late, a reminder of the shared connection with her late mother through their mutual love of music.
Arriving at the music room, she closed the door behind her upon entering and rushed to take her seat at the piano. For Rue, she had always been
able to emote what she was feeling into her fingers as she played and today was no exception. Her feelings had been stirred into a tempest at the news of Alex’s homecoming, and she couldn’t determine what that would mean for her if they were to meet once again. So, it was appropriate that she chose to play Beethoven’s twenty-third sonata, known for its tempestuous first movement as its sweeping measures mirrored the storm of emotions within her.
Having mastered the sonata years before, her fingers knew their placement in the song. Letting the music sweep her away, she could almost envision the song flowing in and through her, like a spirit that danced in syncopation with the movement of her fingertips against the ivory keys. Buoyed by the essence of the song, she was able to soothe her soul by expelling the chaos within her and thereby revealing the root cause for her inner turmoil.
Continuing into the second movement, she mulled over why she was stricken by Alex finally coming home. Having told herself in previous years that she was no longer waiting for a man who had clearly forgotten her, Rue understood her state of panic to be blamed on unresolved matters between them. He hadn’t written a single letter while he was away, and neither did he deign to answer a single one of hers. She had stopped writing when her first ten letters were returned all at once, and she sadly had to let go of any hope of reaching out to him.
Before then, she had never known how easy and effortless it was to visit both sides of the spectrum when it came to love. Having known the ultimate high in pleasure with the one she loved in one moment and then to experience crushing heartbreak in the next, Rue had closed herself off from feeling so deeply for anyone else, not wanting to experience such devastation again by doing so.
Although she spent the past nine Seasons in London, she somehow had managed to avoid Alex at most events. Not once had they run into each other, but the Earl of Merrick must have gone to great pains to ask for the guest lists of each function at which she would be present and subsequently avoided any chance encounters with her. It hurt to know he was deliberately avoiding her, and it pained her even more so to have learned of his reputation among the ton as a consummate rake.
What was so wrong with her that he had chosen other women over her, his longtime friend and staunchest supporter? She knew only what she wasn’t and that was a paragon of perfection. She also knew that the women he preferred were stunning creatures who appeared as flawless counterparts to Alex’s own male beauty. Not a single one of them looked anything like her, with her dark tresses and overlarge brown eyes and pillowy lips, and not one of them had any trouble keeping their fashionable figures trim and free of extra flesh.
Sighing once she had reached the conclusion of the sonata, Rue stood to tidy the music sheets littered about the piano and set out to put them in a semblance of order. Bent over the piano stool as she was, with her lower lip caught between her teeth, she stood in profile to the room’s only mode of entry and exit just as the door swung open unexpectedly. From her bowed position, she looked up and froze, her body locking down in immediate response to the figure who also stood there equally as stunned as she.
Alex Carruthers, Earl of Merrick, halted his progress further into the room the moment he spotted the curvaceous figure leaning over the piano stool, offering him a lovely view. In the instant that he found this particular female form in agreement with his usual type, he sought out her face and was shocked to see Rue Abelard staring back at him. Stepping fully into the room, he shut the door behind him.
“What the devil are you doing here?” he demanded, the words escaping from his lips before he could claw them back. Rue straightened as he approached, and to his horror, he found himself fully appreciating the changes in Rue that the years apart had wrought. Earlier, he was afforded a view of her delectable bosom peeking atop her day dress as she was bent over, and once she stood to her full height, he found that she was much changed from when he had last seen her. No longer was her form as willowy as he remembered and gone were the vestiges of the young girl she had once been. Now, before him stood a buxom version of Rue that appealed to him more than he cared to admit.
“Welcome home, Alex,” Rue said, in a voice that gave no inkling of the uproar of emotions within her. Rather than react to the sound of ire in his voice as she was wont to do when they were younger, Rue remained as outwardly calm and impassive as she could manage. Seeing him again wreaked havoc on her poor heart as she couldn’t help but notice that his form was larger than she remembered, a form that spoke of chiseled granite, no longer sporting the external softness of his youth.
Continuing with an injection of calm that she was far removed from feeling, she said, “It’s good to see you finally home. I expect you are here for the same reason that I’m here.”
Alex glowered as he remembered his goal of meeting his future wife at his mother’s ball. She can’t have meant that, did she? Was Rue still unmarried and on the lookout for a husband? He supposed he should ask her to find out.
“And what reason is that? If my mother hasn’t already told you, I have come home for good,” he said, as he unwittingly took a step toward her, a practiced move on his part to unnerve and unsettle her.
Ever the hoyden, Rue did not rise to his bait, and coquettishly said, “And if your mother hasn’t already told you, she is to host a ball in a few days’ time, one to which I have been invited and have accepted. ‘Tis the same ball I attend every year.”
“So, you’re here with your parents then,” he stated. Not as a question.
“Er, no. I arrived here with friends. Mother passed on five years ago, and Father is at home with a cold, but he should be here in time for the ball,” she said, sadness passing momentarily over her face at mention of her mother.
“I’m very sorry,” Alex whispered. He would have known that fact if he had at least come home once in a while to visit, and he was indeed sorry that he had stayed away to have missed Lady Constance Abelard’s funeral.
“It’s all right,” Rue whispered, her voice wavering a tiny bit.
Alex watched as she visibly shook off her sadness, and then she flashed him a sunny, bright smile. Rue chirped, “Since you are home for good, it’s now time to find a wife, I take it?”
The one subject he wasn’t willing to bring up with her was now out in the open and at her prompting, no less. Scowling, Alex’s discomfort rose again to the surface, and it had everything to do with how they last parted. There was every opportunity in the nine years that he was away to discuss that day in the meadow, but they were both stubborn mules when it came to their pride. And Alex deliberately stayed away once it occurred to him why Rue had given herself to him that afternoon. He knew she loved him then, but he hadn’t known then how to properly receive her love and had treated the situation, and her, abominably.
He answered simply, “Yes, now that Ravenscroft is safe and prosperous once again, it is high time I find myself a wife. And what of you? Why haven’t you married?”
A delicate shrug of her shoulders took more effort than Rue let on. Her lack of a husband was a source of frustration for her, since she found every man lacking in some way. “Believe me, I am trying to remedy that situation. Not to mention, your mother has offered to help in that sphere.”
“My mother?” he said disbelievingly. “How did she say she was going to help?”
“Never you mind,” she said dismissively. “Instead of worrying about me, shouldn’t you be worrying about a houseful of guests that should be arriving any moment?” And she flounced away from him towards the other side of the pianoforte, as she looked at him teasingly over her shoulder.
Alex recognized such evasive tactics, having participated in such games countless times before, where the outcome usually landed him in someone’s bed. Yet, with Rue, she couldn’t know how that look affected him, even when he knew she had no idea of her own appeal.
With Rue in the room, taunting him and arousing him just by breathing, Alex warred with his recent determination to leave his reputation behind him an
d his pressing desire to delve further into the depths of this version of Rue. A version he didn’t yet know but was willing to know more about.
He advanced closer towards her so that the toes of his polished boots brushed the hem of her dress. Alex relished the effect his nearness had on Rue; her eyes widened, her breath hitched, and her body trembled, all slight movements that were better observed at such close range.
Ignoring her question for the moment, he asked instead, “And why haven’t you married after all this time? With your fortune, you should be awash in suitors knocking down your door. Or did your father have you locked and hidden away until recently?”
Rue scowled, giving Alex a hint of the old Rue that he remembered. “I’ll have you know, there have been a number of suitors over the years. It’s not my fault that they’ve all been found wanting.”