by Jilian Rouge
Just the same, it was a disgusting confirmation of the earl’s reputation as a known rake and no respectable lady should be subjected to such base treatment at his hands. A proper gentleman would not have seduced a lady without the benefit of an engagement, after a suitable amount of courting, of course. As for the woman in the library, it was supposed that she was also of questionable morals if her soft cries and returning caresses were proof of her active participation.
It hadn’t been much longer when the wretched couple had finished and were putting their clothing back to rights. Even through the locked door, it had sounded as if they argued, and the woman was ready to bolt without a care. Resuming the former hiding place from earlier, the Watcher had remained to discover the unknown woman’s identity.
Only to be horrified when Lady Rumina departed the library.
The woman fooled no one, if she thought that she gave off a lady-like mien to all those who should know better. She looked disgraceful being seen downright disheveled, her hair done up haphazardly without the help of her maid and her gown wrinkled distastefully. To anyone who cared to look, it was obvious what activity she had currently been party to, and it infuriated the Watcher to know that Lady Rumina did not give a care for her own reputation or that of her future prospective husband.
The Watcher supposed that Lady Rumina’s errand to fetch a book from the library was just a guise for her true purpose: a clandestine assignation with someone who was not her intended. After what the Watcher had witnessed outside the maze the other night, it was obvious with whom Lady Rumina was dallying. Although the talk that circled the Ravenscroft drawing room had Christian and Lady Rumina all but married, it could not be borne that Lady Rumina would debase herself in such a disgusting, immoral display of wantonness.
As expected, not long after, the earl made his appearance, exiting the library doors in that fastidious, pompous air of his that irritated the Watcher to an endless degree. His staggered exit after Lady Rumina did nothing to dispel any hint of impropriety, not after what had been witnessed through that keyhole.
Enraged that such goings-on would go unnoticed and unpunished, the Watcher ardently vowed to do something, anything, to keep the two mismatched lovers apart. Standing by and watching things unfold between those two did not help matters nine years ago, and it surely did nothing to rectify things now. The Watcher thought dispassionately, Lady Rumina Abelard and the Earl of Merrick do not deserve each other, and I will do whatever it takes, by any means necessary, to cleave them apart.
14
The Next Day
At Lady Edith’s suggestion the day before, and since the day was pleasant enough, the younger guests were urged to make use of the extensive stables at Ravenscroft and go riding. Those who were passably adept along with the skilled riders agreed to make a party of it, and so it was, that Rue ambled behind everyone at a slow gait on her own mare.
It had been thoughtful of Alex to send for her own mare Daisy from the Abelard stables, but she could not afford to think charitably of the man, not so soon after the debacle she made of herself in the library.
Shame coursed through her at the memory of everything they had done together, expressly after she had her mind set on steering clear of the man. And did she listen to her own advice? Regretfully, she did not, and worse yet, while she mumbled that their foolishness would end there, Alex had not taken it well.
Every detail of their ensuing argument still resonated within her brain:
She hissed between gritted teeth, “We have no right to be doing this, not when you should be fixed on choosing someone else as your bride!”
Turning away, she hastily located her clothing and tried to mask the trembling of her hands while getting dressed. Her lapse in good sense and judgment brought her to this point and now her mind churned in turmoil. To her, this all seemed like a wonderful dream turned nightmare. If only she could shake her head hard enough, she just might wake up and find herself in her bed and the past few moments had occurred in her sleep. But she knew she had no such luck.
Alex, with immeasurable experience of the machinations of women’s clothing, moved to help her with her stays and her gown. With her back to him, she could not see his face, but she knew he was angry.
“Rue, I can’t allow you to plan my future for me. I had made up my mind to choose you,” he said stubbornly.
Pressing her lips to hold back a scream, she gave herself a moment to calm herself before speaking. When she did, she turned around to face him and bit out, “Think of what you’re saying, Alex. You can’t! I can’t let you!”
“You’re not letting me do anything. Don’t you understand that I don’t want anyone else? None of the ladies my mother had invited here, other than you, hold my interest. I will not make any one of them my bride.”
She argued, “But you are meant for someone else, Alex!” How could she make him understand, get through to him that if she wasn’t good enough for him nine years ago, she certainly wasn’t now?
Frowning, he asked, “Why are you so convinced that I’m not meant to be with you? That we—”
She interrupted, “Because this is wrong! We must stop this and forget this had ever happened between us. I have to—”
“Is this about Christian, goddamn it?” He gave her a savage look as he crowded her personal space.
Pushing at him, she cried, “What? No! I just can’t be yours! I don’t understand why you are so fixated on having me as your wife, not when you are destined for someone much more suitable than me.”
“You are being ridiculous! Why can’t you see that you are the only one I want?”
Letting out a short screech of frustration, she countered, “Possibly because it looks as though you only want me now that someone else holds an interest in me? Insofar, I have a terrible time believing that you only want me for myself!”
Her outburst clearly had taken him by surprise, rendering him silent. Sobering, she said quietly, “Forgive me, Alex, but I had made up my mind a long time ago that I was going to forget you. And while I am happy you are finally home where you’ve always belonged, I’m afraid that I cannot be what you want me to be.”
With those parting words, she had left the library at a run, not caring who might catch her in the unladylike act of running in the hallways.
If she didn’t already have enough to think about when it came to Alex, Rue was reminded of the unsettling events of this morning.
Instead of taking breakfast with everyone downstairs and risk facing Alex too soon after their encounter, Rue had asked for a tray to be brought up. Not one to usually lay abed, Rue had begun her morning ablutions and with the assistance of her maid, had dressed in her pretty blue riding habit along with a jaunty hat that offset the outfit perfectly.
Soon after, one of the Ravenscroft maids had arrived with her breakfast tray, along with several sealed notes addressed to her. While her own maid laid out the dishes and tea on the small table nearby, she remarked that she would like a moment to breakfast alone, dismissing both maids summarily.
Having glimpsed the note on top, Rue had recognized Alex’s handwriting and thought it best to read it with no witnesses to glimpse her heartache. None need see her heart on her sleeve while she battled with her craving for anything to do with Alex despite her shored-up willpower to deny him.
Breaking the seal, she had read,
Rue,
You know my reasons for leaving nine years ago. But my one regret was not being able to properly convey what I had already knew in my heart then, even if my brain hadn’t yet caught up. Please allow me the chance to properly relate what you meant to me then and what you mean to me now. When everyone is out riding, hang back and meet me at our old haunt. You know the place.
Yours,
A.
It had been terribly presumptuous of Alex to command her presence when he deemed it appropriate, and even in his note, he had sounded every inch the lord-of-the-manor, expecting his every whim to be fulfilled.
But someone had to set him straight, and she had aimed to argue her point with him once again: nothing could compel her to marry him.
With the exception of love, of course. While she had pined for the man for nine long years, she had always known that she loved him. Even when she had walked away from him in that meadow, infuriated with him, she still loved him. She had hoped and dreamed that someday he would recognize and want her love, and in return, love and desire her. Now, she understood that the desire had always been there between them, but not once had Alex spoken of love.
She had grimaced at the thought, but she could not deny that she held out hope that he may one day declare his love for her, but he never gave her any sign. Yes, he wanted her and desired her, but he could just as easily transfer such fleeting feelings onto someone else. And so, she refused to open herself up to a chance of being hurt once again, not unless there was any assurance from Alex that he felt the same as she did for him.
Sighing to herself, she remembered that below Alex’s note, two others had rested next to the teapot on the breakfast tray. She had broken the seal, unfolded the note, and read:
Keep away from the earl if you know what’s good for you. He does not belong to you, no matter how much he desires you. I warn you to stay away from him.
The note was unsigned, with no indication of who could have penned it. Given the sentiment and tone, she suspected one of the Ladies of the List might have sent this to her and slipped it unseen onto her tray. Feeling guilty that Alex’s little byplay involving her must have been keenly observed by others, she was further justified in her determination to stay away from him. And as it appeared that one of the List may have a vested interest in the blasted man, she really couldn’t blame whomever it was for sending her this note.
Dismissing the triviality of the threat from the previous note, she had picked up the third final note and broken it open to find one single line:
I saw you yesterday coming out of the library. Stay away from Alex or else!
Gasping, she had dropped the note, leaped out of her seat, and backed away from the note as if it were a poisonous snake. Horrified that someone may have witnessed her indiscretion, she had stared after it, her mind racing with various possibilities.
If someone had seen her with Alex, then it was entirely reasonable that such information could be used against her. The scandal of it all would completely ruin her! Not to mention that her father would lock her away at one of his remote estates until the brunt of the scandal had passed, never to be seen again until she emerged an old maid. It would ruin her chances of making a good match with Christian, if it were to get out, and she couldn’t bear the thought of besmirching the name of a good man.
Just like the second note, this one had been anonymously written. She had to suppose it was someone who either wanted Alex for herself or hated her enough to threaten her in such a secretive manner. On the other hand of things, she had wondered if Alex had also received a warning to stay away from her since the unknown author’s only desire was to keep them apart.
If she had brushed off Alex’s “invitation” to meet before, with the circumstances changed, it was imperative that she discuss this with him, only this time, in a more discreet location. Fortunately, Alex’s chosen meeting place was one that only they were privy to, having hidden there as children during long hours of playtime in her summers spent at Ravenscroft. Not even Christian had been able to find their hiding place during their games of hide and seek, and it had been a comfortable place to laze about if Christian had taken too long to find them.
Leaving her room straightaway, Rue was surprised to find that she had been left behind for the stables when she had asked Alistair where everyone was. Her surprise had been even more compounded to find her mare Daisy, saddled and waiting for her. She had been happy to see Daisy on sight, and happier still to see that the sidesaddle had been dispensed with in favor of one that would allow her to jump and race. The groom holding her reins, had recognized her and had handed them to her and explained, “His lordship arranged for her to be brought here from your father’s stable, my lady.”
Thanking the groom after he assisted her with mounting her horse and adjusting the stirrups, she had taken off in the direction of the rest of the party. Catching up to the tail end of the group, she had been greeted by Christian, Amelia, Ernest, and Georgie at her galloping approach.
Now, here she was, waiting for the opportune time to branch away from the rest, with only her thoughts to accompany her. With the rest of the party at a slow canter, Rue purposely hung back, and anxiously awaited the moment to make her escape when the group took the fork on the right of the well-traversed trail. While the group had been occupied with their own chatter and laughter, Rue had backed her horse into the thick brush and waited some distance from the trail until their voices sounded further away.
Swearing that this would be the last time she engaged in such foolishness with Alex, Rue could only hope that she could somehow persuade Alex to forget about his pursuit of her and somehow happily comply with the wishes expressed by her anonymous correspondent. Then perhaps she can get on with her life and find happiness without Alex’s shadow hanging over her shoulder.
15
Dismounting Daisy, she tied the reins to a nearby tree, and on foot, made her way down the left trail of the fork. Although it had been some years since she had cause to venture down this path, she found that the way was still unchanged, and she was able to pinpoint how close she was to the appointed meeting place.
A copse of trees cleverly hid the entrance to a hollow rock outcropping that she and Alex had stumbled upon when they were children. Or rather, ten-year-old Alex had fallen through the opening when she had shoved him through it during an argument.
Undergrowth covered most of the entrance, but it was still identifiable by a marker that her younger self had cleverly placed to the side. Its placing would be obscure to most everyone else but the two of them and Rue spotted the small green cloverleaf design she had painted there in no time at all.
Brushing aside the leafy branches to gain entrance, Rue discovered the entrance to be much shorter than she remembered. But given that she had grown considerably since she had last been here, it was quite understandable that adult Rue would have to crawl through.
There was no helping the dirt stains she would acquire on the knees of her habit, but once she squeezed through the tiny opening, two hands banded about her upper arms and roughly hauled her to her feet. She shrieked at the unexpected handling of her person but was abruptly cut off when a hand clamped tightly over her mouth.
“Shh!” hushed Alex. “Someone will come running and find us out if you don’t stop screaming.”
The cave’s interior was dimly light by the morning light streaming through the cracks and she could just make out Alex’s form in the semi-darkness. She sagged with relief that it was only Alex and not a newly-resident bear who thought to shelter here. All the same, she bristled in annoyance at the unexpected shock so carelessly given.
Pulling his hand away from her mouth, she withered him with a glare, and hissed, “How was I to know you would grab me like that? If anyone else were to do so, of course, I would have screamed!”
“Keep your voice down,” he admonished in hushed tones, ignoring her ire in favor of not wanting to be discovered. Although they were hidden from sight, their voices would still carry through the trees outside if they spoke even at a moderate volume.
Slapping at him by way of masking the tension she felt, she whispered angrily, “You wretch! I have a mind to leave you here, your message be damned!”
“Such strong language for a lady,” he chastised teasingly. “But goodness knows, I was always better attracted to females who could let out a good curse or two for good measure.” Wrapping his arms around her to seize her to him, he coaxed, “Why don’t you continue with your sweet words of choice and we can see where this leads us.”
Since his abrupt embrace had her braci
ng her palms against his chest to futilely ward him off, Rue slapped him once more to try to push him away, but he was too strong, too big to properly fend him off. “Will you please stop with your nonsense? I came here to talk to you about something very important, and all you can think about is seducing me.”
“Can you blame me after I’ve had a proper taste of you yesterday and I’m this close to begging for more? Besides, what could be more important than our future?” he countered. “Yours and mine. We’ve always dealt well together—when we weren’t scrapping, that is—and no one who knows us would say any different.”
“But that’s just it! There is someone who objects to us being together!”
“If you tell me that it’s you who objects, let me tell you that our little interlude in the library tells of a different story. You cannot deny that your response to me was unguarded and an accurate telling of what is between us,” he said wryly.