by K. C. Hamby
Nina’s distress and anger flow into her scent and through the air, attempting to suffocate me. I suddenly feel the churning of her anger in my chest.
Weird.
She shoves the phone back at me. “What do they say? I can’t even look.” I raise my brow at her and unlock the phone.
My own anger spikes in my veins as I read. They reek of desperation and control issues. The growl threatens me again. My wolf paces in my chest, wanting the hunt and the kill. I swallow hard trying to silence the animal fighting its way out.
I clear my throat. “It’s a lot of begging. She wants you to forgive her even though it wasn’t her fault.” I scroll down, my voice failing to conceal my annoyance and anger. “She has no control when she’s been drinking.” I have to pause to dramatically roll my eyes at that one. “She says she’s in love with you and she will respect your boundaries. And finally asking if she can see you.”
I stop and hand the phone back to Nina before I smash it with my grip. Sara’s in love with her? I let the built up growl freely slip through my teeth. I squint at Nina. “Is this about that time at the bar?” The night I left her and made the biggest mistake of my life.
“No.” She averts her eyes. My body stiffens. “I forgave her for that, for some stupid reason. She did something similar last week when we went out.” I clench my jaw. “She’s crazy! This is too much,” Nina cries and grows silent. My anger falls away as I watch her. I sense the anger in her like it is my own, but Nina could be plotting murder and no one would ever know. She has silent anger. It’s kind of terrifying. Even for me.
I take the phone back, delete the messages from Sara, and put my number in her phone. I even add one of those kissy face emojis to my name and show it to Nina. Her anger dissipates as she tries not to smile. I kiss her on her cheek and it completely disappears.
“Don’t worry about Sara. She’ll get the hint and leave you alone.” I toss her my phone, prompting her to enter her own number. She hands it back with a smirk and I make my way to the door with her following close behind. I turn around to face her. “I’ll let you know when I’m on my way back tonight.” Nina nods her head and I tilt her face up with my fingers under her chin. An emotion I can’t quite place swirls in my chest and head, giving me the illusion of drunkenness. I look into her eyes and bring my lips to hers. The passion igniting between us will always surprise me. It’s warm and welcoming. It’s burning and it’s home.
I pull myself out of the door and down the stairs before I can change my mind and run back to her. I head to my car with my stomach dropping like I just left half my soul behind.
Chapter 22
I walk up to the cluster of class buildings as soon as the last bell rings signaling class is over for the day. My damp braid hangs over my black North Face jacket and shirt covered in moon phases. I had to throw on some black jeans and combat boots because I was almost late. Showing up in the same thing I had on yesterday and smelling like someone else’s scent—especially a non-Lupi’s scent—probably isn’t the best idea. So, I had to take a shower when I got back from Nina’s.
The doors of the buildings open and young Lupi pour out, excited for the weekend. All of them whisper among themselves as soon as they catch sight of me. Of course, none of them come close. I’m the scary, mean, antisocial assassin who doesn’t like anyone.
My ears pick up on Nathan’s voice as he makes his way out of the building right in front of me. I shake my head when I see he is surrounded by five other kids hanging on his every word. I huff out a breath of sheer ‘well who would have thought’ and Nathan looks up, catching sight of me. So does his little posse.
Now, word spread that I have been mentoring Nathan like wildfire. These kids know he has been hanging out with me, but they’ve never seen us together. I’ve never picked him up from class before. Especially since I was basically M.I.A. for nine months. The disbelief is socking them in the face as Nathan smiles at me and waves goodbye to his worshippers. I smirk and smugly wiggle my shoulders. I can’t help it. I notice all the whispers around us have stopped and all of the pups have resorted to staring instead.
Nathan slightly tilts his head and smirks like he’s up to no good as he continues walking toward me. He stops in front of me and jerks his head in greeting. I have to hold down a laugh.
“Sup, Fal.” The little troublemaker holds out his wrist. Oh goddess, I’m totally going to have to teach him how to greet people later. And that’s sad coming from the girl who has negative two friends. I push my lips together, barely holding in a giggle. I swallow it down as the corner of my mouth twitches, trying to turn up into a smile.
“What’s up, Nathan,” I reply, jerking my chin up slightly and tapping my wrist to his. Quiet gasps sound all around us. Nathan cuts his eyes at me mischievously and lifts his brow. I come to the realization that he definitely just used me to make him look cool.
I’m so proud.
The whispers start again as we stomp across the frozen ground in the direction of the training gyms. After a minute, Nathan walks backwards, facing me.
“You’re extra chipper today. And you don’t look like you’re dying.”
I think I should be offended, but I can only shrug it off with a snort.
“You’re very perceptive. I’m glad I don’t look like death. But then again, I think it would be a proper look for the Reaper.” I chuckle darkly. “I took your wonderful advice.” I reach out and ruffle his hair. He ducks out of my grip and glares at me like I’ve murdered his best friend.
“Hey! Do you know how long it took to get it like that?” He scoffs and I groan. He is just like Ash about his hair. If I ever even breathed on Ash’s hair wrong when we were young, we would end up in a giant fist fight in the middle of the living room. It never really solved anything either. His hair got messed up anyway.
“Anyway, you taught me an important lesson. Thank you.” My mouth quirks up in a genuine smile. His eyes grow wide. “But, you better not tell anyone I’ve gone soft,” I threaten with feigned anger. He flips back around, walking beside me, kicking up frozen dirt in his wake.
“Gotta be a tough guy, huh?”
“You are absolutely correct.” I open the door to the gym and the smell of floor wax and dust hits me as we walk inside. I leave the lights off so he can show me what he’s been practicing. “Alright, show me what you’ve got.”
He takes off and leaps, shifting in mid-air. I gasp as his paws land gingerly on the floor. I wasn’t even able to do that before I stopped shifting. In fact, I could barely shift at all. He disappears so fast, I lose sight of him. The gym becomes deathly quiet as I silence my breathing and open my senses.
Where the hell is he?
My heart thumps quietly in my chest, but it’s too loud for this level of silence.
Then I hear it. I hear the exact moment he jumps in my direction and I spin around and catch him under his arms again right when he shifts back.
“Ugh, Fal!” He yells in my face as he dangles in my hands. He brings his arms around quickly and slams his forearms into the insides of my elbows. The hit forces my arms to buckle and I drop him.
“Goddess, Nathan.” I shake the blood back into my arms. I glare up and find him smirking.
“One point for me.” He wiggles his brows and does a happy dance. I have to admit I’m impressed.
“You definitely get a point. I didn’t expect that at all. Good job. I couldn’t even find you until you were coming for me.” I wrist bump him. “Now you can tell all your friends you got a point on me.”
He continues to do his happy dance and I take the opportunity to make it a lesson. And heal my pride.
I tackle him to the ground and put my forearm across his neck like I would if I were trying to cut off someone’s airway.
“Now, what did you do wrong?” I ask, holding him to the floor. He rolls his eyes and groans.
“I got cocky, right? How could I forget that? It’s like your number one rule.” He sighs and taps my a
rm, signaling me to get off.
“Yep, that’s right. You don’t want to have a matching eye, do you?” I laugh and point at my face.
We spend the rest of the lesson sparring. I teach him how to go from the defensive positions to the offensive attacks and eventually how to put himself in the position to incapacitate someone. He’s such a fast learner. Every time he makes a mistake, he gets up and makes me show him what he did wrong and how to fix it. He’s going to be a deadly fighter, but he won’t be getting any more points on me.
It was totally a slip up.
***
I pull up to Ash’s house, turn off my car, and sit.
That’s it. I sit. I’m absolutely procrastinating. I don’t even know where to start with him. I’ve been avoiding him and Invidia because I couldn’t deal with their lovey dovey bullshit while I was away from Nina. It made me sick and so much harder to stay away from Nina. I don’t know if he is going to be mad at me or what’s going to happen when I walk in.
My phone buzzes in my pocket and I do an awkward lift and wiggle to get it out. My heart flutters when I see it’s a text from Nina and I smile when I find a heart beside her name in my phone.
I miss you already. I can’t wait to see you.
I write back that I miss her too and I’ll be there as soon as I can. And that’s the damn truth. My body aches strangely being away from her. It’s nowhere near as bad as it was being nine months without her, but there is an overall wrongness in my bones. Her text has given me the kick in my ass I need to suck it up and go to the front door.
I knock a few times and wait. The sound echoes ominously against my guilt and I have to clear my throat to keep it from yelling ‘I’m sorry’ through the door. I have my key to his house, but I think I would be an ass if I just waltzed in after ghosting him for so long.
Ah, shit. What if Invidia is here? Dammit, I really need to start calling before I come over. If she finds out why I’m here, I’m not sure if I can trust her not to turn me in.
Ash opens the door and looks me over with an arched eyebrow. He seems like the same old Ash with his undercut black hair and dark amber eyes, but there are dark circles where there is usually kindness. His black PennyForward T-shirt settles over his dark jeans. I glance down at his bare feet in shame as he steps aside and ushers me in. I slink to the couch without a word, opening up my senses to confirm Invidia is nowhere to be found. I breathe a small sigh of relief I immediately suck back in my lungs at the disappointment covering Ash’s face.
He saunters into the kitchen, grabbing two glasses of water. Thank goddess. My vocal cords are going to need some form of lubrication to spew out all the apologies and stupid ass excuses I need to say. He hands me a glass and sits in the chair across from me.
“So, by the glow that seems to be radiating out of your ass and blinding me, I’m assuming you chose that Nina chick finally.” He stares at me, sipping his water like it’s full of drama and he wants to slowly take it all in. I huff at his exaggeration and nod my head. His eyes widen in shock. “I see. I didn’t know if you would pull your head out of your ass and choose her or what.” He sighs and sets his drink down. “Since you’re here, I’m guessing it means you need help or something?”
Guilt stabs me right in my black heart. I hurt him. “Ash, I’m sorry. I was in a very bad place. She’s…..she’s my Mate.” He gasps and I swallow hard. “I think I almost died because I stayed away from her,” I confess in a flurry of words dropping from my mouth like they’re dead weight. His head snaps to attention and a flash of worry floats in his eyes, digging into my soul. But he hides it with a goofy grin.
“The mighty Fal, almost defeated by her lovey dovey feelings.” He laughs so hard his whole body shakes. I press my mouth in a hard line.
I don’t know, I just don’t find my almost death amusing, but maybe I’m biased. I guess his laughter is his way of showing forgiveness. I’ll take it.
I clear my throat, silencing him. “I’m here because I value your opinion and need your advice. I may have missed you a little, but we’re going to pretend I didn’t say that,” I admit, quickly acting like I’m returning to hard and heartless Fal.
I’m not sure I can ever be her again. I did miss him. He’s my favorite person in the world, other than Nathan and Nina.
“I see.” He nods as a smile slides across his stony face, breaking away the last bit of hurt and anger lingering there a minute ago. He leans forward dramatically and raises an eyebrow. “You may proceed.” He gestures to me with his hands and I suck in a breath.
“I need to know how to tell Nina what I am; what we are.” No need in beating around the thorny bush. His head jerks back in surprise. I defend my point before he can argue. “You told me she needs to make her own decisions in regards to me, but she can’t do that accurately if she isn’t fully informed.”
I take another deep breath. I didn’t realize I had rushed through everything without pausing to breathe. This new emotion, anxiety, is really not my thing. It’s like I have a weight sitting on my torso, feeling trapped beneath it while also being in a cage without an escape. Ash thinks on what I’ve said for a few minutes and my heart races. I concentrate on slowing the beats, but it’s a lot harder than it should be. This is stupid.
“Okay, you’re right. You do remember if you are reported, it means death to you and Nina, right?” He stares holes into my eyeballs, trying to find any doubt I may have, but there’s none. I would die for her in an instant if it came to that, which is exactly why this is bad. I’ll easily choose Nina over duty in the blink of an eye without even thinking about it. I know what it’s like to choose duty instead and I refuse to do it again.
“I know, Ash. But Hecate spoke to me. She told me to go to Nina. I don’t see how this could be wrong if I have her blessing.” Shocked eyes fade into a smirk.
“I would say that’s unbelievable, but you’ve always had an affinity for the goddess. You obviously have her approval. It’s just strange because I’ve barely heard of true Mates. I definitely haven’t heard of true Mates across species and between two females,” he admits, trying not to seem judgmental. The fact that we are the same sex has never crossed my mind. It just comes naturally for me to be with Nina. I know it’s apparently a big deal in the human world because there is so much hate in a lot of their hearts. It goes against the idea of procreation for Lupi. But then again, I’m not planning on having children. Ever.
I just shrug. I don’t really have anything to say because I don’t care about our genders being the same or our species being different. It’s not exactly the biggest problem right now. It’s not a problem at all. Ash seems to take the hint, so he changes the subject.
“Do you trust her?”
“Yes,” I say without hesitation. I don’t know her that well, nor have I known her for very long, but everything in me believes I can. Ash smiles knowingly and nods.
“Okay, you should tell her. Just come straight out—aha..ha, pun. I’m sorry—and be frank about it. Running around the point to tell someone you’re one of the best assassins—if not the best—in the world and you are part dog is probably not the best way to handle the situation. She’ll probably freak out because it’s a lot of weird information. Like I said, part dog and all. Just make sure she knows no matter what happens, she can’t tell anyone.” He leans back in his chair looking proud of himself and maybe me? I can’t tell.
“Duh, it’s the most important part; the part that keeps us both alive,” I spit like he’s insulted my intelligence.
“I mean, knowing about her immediate demise if she says anything to anyone will probably motivate her to keep quiet.” He laughs at his morbid version of a joke. I shoot daggers from my eyes in his direction. He holds his hands up in surrender. “Okay. Okay. My bad.”
I chug the rest of my water and check my watch. Shit, it’s already seven. How did time pass so quickly? I push myself off the couch and Ash follows my lead. “I’ve got to go. I told Nina I would come talk to
her after I spoke to you.” Heat rushes up my neck as Ash wiggles his eyebrows at me. “Stop that.”
“Mhmmm, you do that talking,” he mocks while he walks me to the front door. I step out onto the porch. “If it works out and she doesn’t flee the country, I want to meet this Nina.” He crosses his big arms over his chest, showing off every muscle. I roll my eyes and punch him right in the shoulder. His eye twitches and I throw him a winning grin.
“Yeah, sure Twitchy,” I concede and hop down the stairs to my car. I wave goodbye to Ash before he closes the front door. I fling the car door open in my excitement to get back to Nina and flop into the driver’s seat. I pull out my phone and send her a text saying I’m on my way back to her. Before the text has a chance to send, a sinking hardness manifests in my stomach.
Something’s wrong.
Chapter 23
I find a parking place after flying from Ash’s house to Nina’s apartment. She still hasn’t replied to my text.
My pulse is racing and pounding in my ears. The sinking feeling keeps growing worse and my blood is threatening to burn me up from the inside. As I’m parking, Fixed Blade Kenny’s “Til They Die” beats through the speakers, helping my heart pump the boiling blood through my system with every hit of the bass.
Throwin’ blades on the street near everyday..
I throw open the door as soon as I switch off the car engine and jump out. Slamming the door, I run to Nina’s apartment. All I can think of is Damien and what if he got her? My heart and feet thud faster at the thought.
My senses open wide and I hear Nina yelling at someone. I push my legs faster. The parking spot I found was a few blocks away from her apartment and I’m cursing Seattle traffic and overcrowding in the back of my mind.
Someone yells back at Nina. I growl. It’s a female voice.
“Leave! Now!”