by Laura Gordon
Her mother and father had been killed outright in the crash, but her sister had lingered for three terrible days.
When Tess thought of Meredith, she couldn’t help remembering the words she’d written in her diary before the fateful plane crash. The words came back to haunt Tess now, as though her sister had written them yesterday....
[u23]Dear Diary[qlI know I have neglected you, but things have been really wild around here. I just couldn’t go another day without telling you. You see, I made a big decision today, a decision that will change my life forever. I’ve decided to take Reed’s advice and keep my baby. It will be hardest on Mom, but I just know she won’t hate me. And Tess will be angry at first, but I know she will stick by me, too. Reed says I’ll make a wonderful mother. I’m so lucky to have him to talk to. I can tell him things I can’t even tell you, dear diary. I wonder if I’ll get horribly fat? Will I really wear those ugly tops when the time comes?
It sounds crazy, I know, but in a way I couldn’t be happier. It is crazy, isn’t it, dear diary, to believe that a sixteen-year-old can really become a woman just because she’s having a baby. But last night Reed said I’m already the bravest woman he knows. I love him, diary. I guess I always have![qlLater,[qrMeredith[qr
Three days before the crash that claimed her family’s lives, Reed McKenna had walked out on Tess. A month after her sister’s death, Tess read Meredith’s diary. And eight years later, Tess was still trying to forget what she’d read. But today, with Reed’s magnetic presence so tangibly tempting, and last night as she’d lain in the darkness with the memory of his kiss still tingling on her lips, she’d forced herself to remember. I’m so lucky to have him, Meredith had written. Lucky, Tess thought bitterly, remembering when she’d felt the same way just being in love with Reed McKenna.
She stared at him now where he sat with his back to her on the balcony and she forced Meredith’s words to play over and over in her mind like an incantation that would protect her from him and from her own weak will.
“I’m going for a walk,” she said suddenly, grabbing her purse, which still contained Selena’s journal.
Reed was beside her before she reached the door.
“Alone,” she said over her shoulder.
“No way.”
When she spun around to face him, an almost electric awareness of him sliced through her, further tuning her already humming senses. “Look, I need some air. I’m only going down to the beach.”
“Fine. I love the beach.” His mouth curved into a wry smile, shoving those damned appealing dimples into his cheeks again.
“You know, I think you’re actually enjoying this.”
“Yeah, well, you know how it is. Some guys just love their work.”
She refused to look back at him as he followed her into the hall and closed the door behind them. A few moments later on the beach, Tess felt like an invisible observer, as far removed from the carefree tourists lounging and playing in the late afternoon sun as an alien stranded on a strange and unfamiliar planet. But at least out here among strangers, the tension of being locked in a hotel room with her former lover seemed to have subsided.
Tess walked purposefully away from a cluster of tourists relaxing on beach chairs. When Reed ducked under the thatched roof of a poolside bar, she slipped her purse strap over her shoulder, clutched her bag protectively against her and kept walking.
He caught up to her in a few minutes and she was fully aware of his presence beside her, but she resisted looking at him or acknowledging him except to shake her head at the bottle of beer he held out to her.
She saw him tip his own bottle up and take a long swig. When he stopped to take off his shoes she didn’t slow down and when out of the corner of her eye she saw him strip off his shirt, she quickened her pace.
In a moment he’d caught up to her again and was matching her stride as they moved together along the shoreline.
“Must you keep following me?” she snapped.
“I told you I wasn’t letting you out of my sight and I meant it.”
She glanced at him and, despite herself, she allowed her gaze to linger a moment on his well-toned torso, on the stomach that was as flat and firm as it had been in high school. She scolded herself for remembering so much and for feeling so much.
“Surely I’m in no danger walking along a crowded beach in broad daylight,” she insisted.
“Probably not in that getup.”
She looked down at the loose-fitting T-shirt she wore knotted at the waist and the long cotton skirt that swirled around her ankles. “What’s wrong with what I’m wearing?”
“Nothing. I just don’t remember you being such a prude. You used to love the sun and, as I recall, no matter how little you wore, you never burned.”
His unexpected reference to their past took her by surprise, but she recovered quickly. “You know, Reed, for a man who forgot his own wedding day, you seem to remember quite a bit of useless information about our past.”
A spark of amusement danced in his dark eyes and his laugh was a low, cynical chuckle. “Touché, Tessa. But you know, now that you mention it, I think you’re right. I do remember some things better than others. For example, I remember how great you used to look in a bikini. Let’s see...the one I remember most vividly was a little black number, hardly more than a couple of strings that barely covered your—”
She stopped short and whirled around to glare at him, warning him away from completing his sentence.
His smile was knowing when he lifted his hand and let one finger skim the neckline of her T-shirt in a slow enticing manner that set off an unexpected shower of sparks inside her. “Have you stopped wearing bikinis, Tessa?”
Although his seductive teasing had turned Tess’s insides to jelly, she wasn’t about to let him know it. “No, McKenna, I haven’t stopped wearing bikinis. As a matter of fact, I still favor the skimpy black ones.” She tipped her chin and gave him an icy stare. “I have, however, stopped letting overheated adolescents help me out of them.”
He arched one dark brow, his mouth curling into a deliciously wicked smile before he started to laugh. Unbidden, Tess felt a smile tugging at her own mouth. Despite her best resolve, she laughed with him.
“Sit down, Tessa,” he said, smiling as he took her hand and pulled her down to sit beside him in the sand.
Tess sighed and hitched her skirt up to her knees, kicked off her shoes and buried her feet in the warm, wet sand. When he offered the beer again, she took it and drank deeply.
Without a word, they seemed to have agreed to a temporary truce and Tess welcomed the respite from the tension of the last day and a half.
As they sat side by side in the sand, sipping beer and staring out over the water, they fell into gentle reminiscing. Whether they liked it or not, they’d shared a past. A past that hadn’t been all pain and regret.
She loved the sound of his laughter when she reminded him of the Halloween night he and Stan Olivetti had dragged an old outhouse into the middle of Main Street. “I thought the veins on Sheriff Cooper’s neck would explode, he was so angry,” she recalled, giggling.
She felt transported in time when he recalled how the whole town had gathered at the Elks’ Lodge that Christmas when a blizzard had cut them off from the rest of the world for three days. “Sean was seven that year,” Reed remembered. “He loved all the noise and confusion and having the other kids to play with.”
Mrs. Slokum, they decided, was the most despised math teacher, and English teacher Ms. Perry had been everyone’s favorite. Hank Vonn had brought the house down when he’d muffed his lines in the middle of the senior class play and Rudy Jones, Josh Kilmer and Patty Overfield had been responsible for putting the goat in the pantry in the home ec room. The tragic train wreck on homecoming night, l983, had killed three of their friends and the senior class sneak that year had been canceled.
And so it went, the conversation flowing between them unforced, the feelings they stirred in each othe
r nostalgic and warm, like going home.
When Tess finally glanced down at her watch, she realized they’d been talking for over an hour and that during that time they’d talked about everything and everyone but each other. A silence descended between them as they both focused on a riotous orange sunset in full progress.
The noise from the crowd at the open-air bar drifted between them and the smell of garlic and roast pork floated on the evening air, a subtle reminder of where they were and why they were together.
Tess sighed and allowed herself a final glimpse into her reverie. “I knew those people back home better than I knew my own cousin.”
“But you lived with Selena’s family for a while, didn’t you?”
She nodded as she pulled her hair over her shoulder and idly braided it. “Yes. But Selena and I were never close. This trip was supposed to have been a new beginning.”
He reached for her hand and squeezed it. “I’m sorry, Tessa.” His tone was gentle, unguarded, almost sad, and Tess felt a sharp twinge of longing for the young man who used to confide his most secret dreams in just such a wistful tone.
“I’d hoped to confront Selena the day I arrived in Grand Cayman,” he said. “If things had gone according to plan, you wouldn’t have been involved in any of this. I might never have seen you again, Tessa.”
She drew her knees up and wrapped her arms around them to suppress a deep inner shiver.
“Hey, let’s get out of here,” he blurted, standing suddenly and pulling her to her feet beside him. “It’s almost eight and I want to scope out The Dive before your ten o’clock appointment.”
Their brief sojourn into the past had temporarily distracted Tess from the seriousness of their situation, but now all her apprehensions and fears came back, redoubled in their intensity. “What if the kidnappers are watching? The caller insisted that I follow his instructions to the letter. If we go snooping around The Dive, we could be putting Selena’s life in jeopardy. Besides, he may call the room again.”
“They’ve made their contact for today,” Reed said as they walked together back to the hotel. “And if they call, let them wonder. As long as we have that journal, we have a bargaining chip. They aren’t about to throw that away.”
Tess wasn’t so easily convinced. “I think we should stay here,” she argued when they reached the room.
“I have no intention of walking into another setup, Tess,” he informed her. “I want to see that place before you go in. Now, go change into jeans or shorts. And grab a jacket.”
When she made no move to comply with his order, he frowned, his dark eyes sparking and reminding her again that he was a man unaccustomed to having his judgment questioned.
Well, too bad, McKenna, she thought, because I’m not a woman who follows orders blindly.
As if he’d read her mind, he said, “If you fight me every time I make a suggestion, we’re going to have a hell of a time trying to accomplish anything, Tess.”
“A suggestion? You call that order you issued just now a suggestion?”
His eyes narrowed. “No. I guess I don’t. All right, have it your way. I’m an insensitive pig. Now, go change. We can continue this power struggle after we’ve saved Selena’s life.”
His blunt statement of what should have been her only concern hit its intended target dead center. She grabbed her clothes and stalked into the bathroom with her head held high.
He stood in the middle of the room, watching her go and muttering something about her stubbornness being the death of him, at which she allowed herself a secret smile.
* * *
A MOMENT LATER on the third floor landing they ran into the older couple Tess had seen Reed talking to on the beach yesterday. The woman carried the little girl, who twisted around and blurted, “Hi!” when she saw them. She was dressed in a pink ruffled sunsuit and in one small, dimpled fist she clutched a big red sucker with swirling white stripes.
“Well, hi there,” Tess responded, smiling at the adorable little girl. “I see you’ve been to the beach and to the gift shop.”
The child nodded enthusiastically, sending her honey-colored curls bouncing. “Big fishy out dere!” she announced. “My name’s Crissy.” Her blue eyes were as clear as the morning sky and as round as two saucers when she twisted around in the woman’s arms to point a stubby finger toward the beach. “Beach!” she declared.
“She’s adorable,” Tess said. “You must be very proud.”
The man’s eyes flicked nervously to his wife’s.
“Yes,” the woman interjected, “her grandpa and I think she’s pretty special.”
“Down!” the child demanded, wriggling out of her grandmother’s arms. The woman’s expression was one of concern as she set the child down and reached for her hand, only to have the toddler shrug away from her and surprise them all by turning to Reed and holding her arms out to him.
“Up! Up!” she demanded. “Pick me up.”
“Go ahead,” Tess prompted when Reed hesitated. “Pick her up, Reed.”
Tess couldn’t help feeling a twinge of perverse pleasure at his obvious helplessness in the face of this persistent and disarming child. Finally, he relented, reaching down and lifting her into his arms with a gentleness that set off a barrage of poignant memories inside Tess. One of the qualities that had touched her so deeply all those years ago had been Reed McKenna’s unexpected tenderness.
“She likes men,” Crissy’s grandmother explained as the child wrapped her arms around Reed’s neck and pressed her peaches-and-cream cheek against his before offering him a lick of her lollipop.
Reed smiled—a real smile, this time—without a trace of cynicism or irony. When he pretended to gobble her sucker a cascade of laughter, like the sound of a wind chime, escaped Crissy’s rosebud mouth.
Tess felt her heart swell, watching Reed with the toddler. In his eyes she caught a glimpse of the young Reed McKenna who’d once loved her. The real Reed, not the town’s bad boy or the hard-edged man he’d become, but the Reed McKenna she’d trusted not only with her heart, but with her first real commitment of love.
“Perhaps she remembers you.” Tess saw that simple suggestion trigger an inexplicable look of dark consternation to dart between the man and the woman.
“We’d better be going,” the woman prompted curtly, reaching for the little girl. “Say goodbye to the nice folks, Crissy.”
Instead of complying with her grandmother’s wishes, the child shook her head and shouted, “No,” before lunging at Tess, straining against Reed’s arms. “Mama,” she wailed. “Mama, mama, mama!”
Tess was almost as shocked by the child’s outburst as her grandparents appeared to be.
“Come on, Crissy,” her grandmother insisted, gently but firmly extracting the squirming, fussing child out of Reed’s arms.
“Her mother’s been...ill,” Crissy’s grandfather explained as his wife struggled to control the child who was still fighting to get to Tess.
When Crissy started to cry in earnest, her grandfather reached over and patted her back. “It’s all right, baby,” he soothed. “It’s all right.”
The three of them hurried in the opposite direction, leaving the echo of the child’s pathetic cries in their wake.
“Mama!” they heard one last time, and the sound still tugged at Tess’s heart as she followed Reed into the lobby.
“Poor little thing. She really misses her mother,” she noted almost more to herself than to him. “She was a real charmer, though, wasn’t she?”
Reed kept walking and didn’t reply to her offhand observation. But the look on his face told Tess that his brief encounter with the toddler had affected him more deeply than she would have imagined.
Countless times over the years, Tess had wondered how Reed McKenna had reacted when he first learned of Meredith’s death. Now she felt she finally had an answer.
Chapter Nine
“The Mustang’s been towed,” Reed informed her as he ushered her into the
passenger side of the Jeep the valet brought round to them. “And I returned the moped to the rental agency this morning.” He shot her a playful grimace. “Honestly, Tess, I thought I’d taught you better. After riding a Harley, I don’t know how you tolerated that piece of plastic.”
She shouldn’t have let it, but his sudden friendliness and unexpected teasing made her feel infinitely better, easing the tension that was building in her shoulders again like a good back rub would’ve. “As you may remember, I didn’t exactly have time to be choosy.”
He smiled and nodded as he shoved the Jeep in gear and they jerked out of the driveway. Even with the breeze whipping through the ragtop Jeep and the sun setting behind them, the air was hot and humid and Tess was glad she’d chosen to wear a light pair of cotton shorts and a tank top. While Reed drove, she twisted her hair expertly into one long French braid down the back and secured it with a small barrette she found in the bottom of her purse.
Before closing her bag, she withdrew Selena’s notebook, which she’d placed inside last night.
She felt Reed’s eyes on her and on the journal. “You looked surprised to find it there,” he said.
She’d never admit that she’d wondered more than once if he’d removed it. “Not really.”
“Why not?” he asked, keeping one eye on the road. “You’re not starting to trust me, are you, Tessa?”
She knew he was baiting her and she changed the subject. “No one calls me that anymore.”
“Sorry. Force of habit.”
She shrugged. “At first it bothered me,” she admitted, “but now...” Her voice faded before she added hastily, “It really doesn’t matter.” It was a lie, but she was careful to keep her eyes focused elsewhere so that he couldn’t read them, wouldn’t see that another icy layer around her heart had melted.
* * *
HALF AN HOUR later the sky was almost completely dark, but when the Jeep’s headlights hit it, Tess had no trouble reading the hand-lettered sign that read The Dive in garish, fluorescent green.