by David Peace
I was miles and years away and then suddenly aware my hour was at hand, feeling all their eyes on me.
My Aunty Madge was waving a paper around like she was after some bluebottle.
Me sat on the arm of that chair, feeling like the fly.
Some of my younger cousins had been out for sweets and had brought back the paper, my paper.
My mother grabbed the paper from Aunty Madge, turning the inside pages until she came to the Births and Deaths.
Shit, shit, shit.
‘Is Dad in?’ said Susan.
‘No. Must be tomorrow,’ replied my mother, looking at me with those sad, sad eyes.
‘Mrs Sandra Kemplay made an emotional plea this morning for the safe return of her daughter.’ My Aunt Edie from Altrincham had the paper now.
Emotional fucking pleas.
‘By Edward Dunford, North of England Crime Correspondent. Well I say,’ read Aunty Margaret over my Aunt Edie’s shoulder.
All around the room everyone began assuring me how proud my father would have been and how it was just such a pity he wasn’t here now to witness this great day, my great day.
‘I read all stuff you did on that Ratcatcher bloke,’ Uncle Eric was saying. ‘Strange one that one.’
The Ratcatcher, inside pages, crumbs from Jack fucking Whitehead’s table.
‘Yeah,’ I said, smiling and nodding my head this way and that, picturing my father sat in this empty chair by the cupboard reading the back page first.
There were pats on the back and then, for one brief moment, the paper was there in my hands and I looked down:
Edward Dunford, North of England Crime Correspondent.
I didn’t read another line.
Off the paper went again round the room.
I saw my sister across the room sat on the windowsill, her eyes closed, her hands to her mouth.
She opened her eyes and stared back at me. I tried to stand, to go over to her, but she stood up and left the room.
I wanted to follow her, to say:
I’m sorry, I’m sorry; I’m sorry that it had to happen today of all days.
‘We’ll be asking him for his autograph soon, won’t we,’ laughed Aunty Madge, passing me a fresh cup.
‘He’ll always be Little Eddie to me,’ said Aunt Edie from Altrincham.
‘Thanks,’ I said.
‘Doesn’t look so good though does it?’ said Aunty Madge.
‘No,’ I lied.
‘There’s been a couple now, haven’t there?’ said Aunt Edie, a cup of tea in one hand, my hand in the other.
‘Aye, going back a few years now. That little lass over in Castleford,’ said my Aunty Madge.
‘That is going back a bit, aye. There was that one not so long ago mind, over our way,’ said Aunt Edie, taking a mouthful of tea.
‘Aye, in Rochdale. I remember that one,’ said Aunty Madge, tightening her grip on her saucer.
‘Never found her,’ sighed Aunt Edie.
‘Really?’ I said.
‘Never caught no-one either.’
‘Never do though, do they,’ said Aunty Madge to the whole room.
‘I can remember a time when these sorts of things never happened.’
‘Thems in Manchester were the first.’
‘Aye,’ muttered Aunt Edie, letting go of my hand.
‘Evil they were, just plain bloody evil,’ whispered Aunty Madge.
‘And to think there’s them that’d have her walking about like nowt was wrong.’
‘Some folk are just plain daft.’
‘Short memories an’ all,’ said Aunt Edie, looking out at the garden and the rain.
Edward Dunford, North of England Crime Correspondent, out the door.
Cats and bloody dogs.
Motorway One back to Leeds, lorry-thick and the going slow. Pushing the Viva a hard sixty-five in the rain, as good as it got.
Local radio:
‘The search continues for missing Morley schoolgirl Clare Kemplay, as fears grow …’
A glance at the clock told me what I already knew:
4 p.m. meant time was against me, meant time was against her, meant no time to do background checks on missing kids, meant no questions at the five o’clock press conference.
Shit, shit, shit.
Coming off the motorway fast, I weighed up the pros and cons of asking my questions blind, right there and then at the five o’clock, with nothing but two old ladies behind me.
Two kids missing, Castleford and Rochdale, no dates, only maybes.
Long shots in the dark.
Punch a button, national radio: sixty-seven dismissed from the Kentish Times and the Slough Evening Mail, NUJ Provincial Journalists set to strike from 1 January.
Edward Dunford, Provincial Journalist.
Long shots kick de bucket.
I saw Detective Chief Superintendent Oldman’s face, I saw my editor’s face, and I saw a Chelsea flat with a beautiful Southern girl called Sophie or Anna closing the door.
You might be balding but it’s not fucking Kojak.
I parked behind Millgarth Police Station as they were packing up the market, gutters full of cabbage leaves and rotten fruit, thinking play it safe or play it scoop?
I squeezed the steering wheel, offering up a prayer:
LET NO OTHER FUCKER ASK THE QUESTION.
I knew it for what it was, a prayer.
The engine dead, another prayer from the steering wheel:
DON’T FUCK UP.
Up the steps and through the double doors, back into Millgarth Police Station.
Muddy floors and yellow lights, drunken songs and short fuses.
I flashed my Press Card at the desk, the Sergeant flashed back a mustard smile:
‘Cancelled. Press Office rang round.’
‘You’re joking? Why?’
‘No news. Nine o’clock tomorrow morning.’
‘Good,’ I grinned, thinking no questions asked.
The Sergeant winced.
I glanced around, opened my wallet. ‘What’s the SP?’
He took the wallet out of my hand, plucked out a fiver, and handed it back. ‘That’ll do nicely, sir.’
‘So?’
‘Nowt.’
‘That was a fucking fiver.’
‘So a fiver says she’s dead.’
‘Hold the fucking Front Page,’ I said, walking back out.
‘Give my best to Jack.’
‘Fuck off.’
‘Who loves you baby?’
5.30 p.m.
Back in the office.
Barry Gannon behind his boxes, George Greaves face down on his desk, Gaz from Sport talking shit.
No sign of Jack fucking Whitehead.
Thank Christ.
Shit, so where the fuck was he?
Paranoid:
I’m Edward Dunford, North of England Crime Correspondent and it says so on every fucking Evening Post.
‘How did it go?’ Kathryn Taylor, fresh curls to her fringe and an ugly cream sweater, standing up behind her desk and then sitting straight back down.
‘Like a dream.’
‘Like a dream?’
‘Yeah. Perfect.’ I couldn’t keep the grin off my face.
She was frowning. ‘What happened?’
‘Nothing.’
‘Nothing?’ She looked utterly lost.
‘It was cancelled. They’re still searching. Got nothing,’ I said, emptying my pockets on to her desk.
‘I meant the funeral.’
‘Oh.’ I picked up my cigarettes.
Telephones were ringing, typewriters clattering.
Kathryn was looking at my notebook on her desk. ‘So what do they think?’
I took off my jacket and picked up her coffee and lit a cigarette, all in one move. ‘She’s dead. Listen, is the boss in a meeting?’
‘I don’t know. I don’t think so. Why?’
‘I want him to get me an interview with George Oldman. Tomorrow morning, before the press confe
rence.’
Kathryn picked up my notebook and began spinning it between her fingers. ‘You’ll be lucky.’
‘Will you speak to Hadden. He likes you,’ I said, taking the notebook from her.
‘You’re joking?’
I needed facts, hard fucking facts.
‘Barry!’ I shouted over the telephones, the typewriters, and Kathryn’s head. ‘When you’ve got a minute, can I have a quick word?’
Barry Gannon from behind his fortress of files, ‘If I must.’
‘Cheers.’ I was suddenly aware of Kathryn’s eyes on me.
She looked angry. ‘She’s dead?’
‘If it bleeds, it leads,’ I said, walking over to Barry’s desk and hating myself.
I turned back. ‘Please, Kath?’
She stood up and left the room.
Fuck.
Tip to tip, I lit another cigarette.
Barry Gannon, skinny, single, and obsessed, papers everywhere, covered in figures.
I crouched down beside his desk.
Barry Gannon was chewing his pen. ‘So?’
‘Unsolved missing kids. One in Castleford and one in Rochdale? Maybe.’
‘Yeah. Rochdale I’d have to check, but the one in Castleford was 1969. Moon landings. Jeanette Garland.’
Bells ringing. ‘And they never found her?’
‘No.’ Barry took the end of the pen from his mouth, staring at me.
‘Police have anything at all?’
‘Doubt it.’
‘Cheers. I’d better get to it then.’
‘Mention it,’ he winked.
I stood up. ‘How’s Dawsongate?’
‘Fuck knows.’ Barry Gannon, not smiling, looking back down at the papers and the figures, chewing the end of his pen.
Fuck.
I took the hint. ‘Cheers, Barry.’
I was halfway back to my desk, Kathryn coming into the office hiding a smile, when Barry shouted, ‘You going to the Press Club later?’
‘If I get through all this.’
‘If I think of anything else, I’ll see you there.’
More surprised than grateful. ‘Cheers Barry. Appreciate it.’
Kathryn Taylor, no trace of a smile. ‘Mr Hadden will see his North of England Crime Correspondent at seven sharp.’
‘And when do you want to see your North of England Crime Correspondent?’
‘In the Press Club, I suppose. If I must.’ She smiled.
‘You must,’ I winked.
Down the corridor, into records.
Yesterday’s news.
Through the metal drawers, into the boxes.
A thousand Ruby Tuesdays.
I grabbed the reels, took a seat at a screen, and threaded through the microfilm.
July 1969.
I let the film fly by:
B Specials, Bernadette Devlin, Wallace Lawler, and In Place of Strife.
Wilson, Wilson, Wilson; like Ted had never been.
The Moon and Jack fucking Whitehead were everywhere.
Me in Brighton, two thousand light years from home.
Missing.
Bingo.
I started to write.
‘So I went back through all the files, spoke to a couple of the lads, rang Manchester, and I think we’ve got something,’ I said, wishing my editor would look up from the pile of Spot the bloody Ball photos on his desk.
Bill Hadden picked up a magnifying glass and asked, ‘Did you talk to Jack?’
‘He’s not been in.’ Thank Christ.
I shifted in my seat and stared out of the window, ten floors up, across a black Leeds.
‘So what exactly have you got?’ Hadden was stroking his silver beard, peering through the magnifying glass at the photographs.
‘Three very similar cases …’
‘In a nutshell?’
‘Three missing girls. One aged eight, the others both ten. 1969, 1972, yesterday. All of them went missing within yards of their homes, within miles of each other. It’s Cannock Chase all over again.’
‘Let’s hope so.’
‘Fingers crossed.’
‘I was being sarcastic. Sorry.’
‘Oh.’ I shifted in my seat again.
Hadden continued to peer through the glass at the black and white photographs.
I looked at my father’s watch; eight bleeding thirty.
‘So what do you think?’ Not hiding my irritation.
Hadden held up a black and white photograph of some footballers, one of them Gordon McQueen, going up for a cross. There was no ball. ‘Do you ever do these things?’
‘No,’ I lied, disliking the game we were about to play.
‘Spot the Ball,’ Bill Hadden, editor, said, ‘is the reason thirty-nine per cent of working-class males buy this paper. What do you think of that?’
Say yes, say no, but spare me this.
‘Interesting,’ I lied again, thinking the exact fucking opposite, thinking thirty-nine per cent of working-class males have been having some fun with your researchers.
‘So what do you honestly think?’ Hadden was looking back down at some other photographs.
Caught off guard, genuinely dumb. ‘About what?’
Hadden looked up again. ‘Do you seriously think it could be the same man?’
‘Yeah. Yes, I do.’
‘All right,’ said Hadden and put down the magnifying glass. ‘Chief Superintendent Oldman will see you tomorrow. He won’t thank you for any of this. The last thing he wants is some bloody Kiddie-Catcher scare. He’ll ask you not to write the story, you’ll agree, and he’ll appear grateful. And a grateful Detective Chief Superintendent is something every North of England Crime Correspondent should have.’
‘But …’ My hand was up in the air and it felt stupid there.
‘But then you’ll go ahead and prepare all the background on the two Rochdale and Castleford girls. Interview the families, if they’ll see you.’
‘But why, if …’
Bill Hadden smiled. ‘Human interest, five years on or whatever. And so then, if you are right about all this, we won’t be left back in the starting stalls.’
‘I see,’ I said with the Christmas present I’d always wanted, but in the wrong size and colour.
‘But don’t push George Oldman tomorrow,’ said Hadden, edging his glasses back up the bridge of his nose. ‘This paper has an excellent relationship with our new West Yorkshire Metropolitan Police Force. I’d like to keep it that way, especially now.’
‘Of course.’ Thinking, especially now?
Bill Hadden leant back in his big leather chair, arms behind his head. ‘You know as well as I do that this whole thing could blow over tomorrow and, even if it doesn’t, it’ll be buried by Christmas anyway.’
I stood up, reading my cue, thinking you’re so wrong.
My editor picked up his magnifying glass again. ‘Still getting letters on the Ratcatcher. Good stuff.’
‘Thank you, Mr Hadden.’ I opened the door.
‘You really ought to have a go at one of these,’ said Hadden, tapping a photograph. ‘Right up your street.’
‘Thank you, I will.’ I closed the door.
From behind the door, ‘And don’t forget to talk to Jack.’
One two three four, down the stairs and through the door:
The Press Club, in the sights of the two stone lions, Leeds City Centre.
The Press Club, gone eleven, Christmas busy from here on in.
The Press Club, members only.
Edward Dunford, member, down the stairs and through the door. Kathryn at the bar, an unknown drunk at her ear, her eyes on me.
The drunk slurs, ‘And one lion says to other, fucking quiet isn’t it?’
I looked to the real stage and a woman in a feather dress belting out We’ve Only Just Begun. Two steps this way, two steps that way, the world’s smallest stage.
Excitement shrinking my stomach, swelling my chest, a Scotch and water in my hand beneath the
tinsel and the fairy lights, a pocketful of notes, thinking THIS IS IT.
From out of the reds and the black, Barry Gannon raised a fag hand. Taking my drink and leaving Kathryn, I went over to Barry’s table.
‘First Wilson gets burgled then, two days later, John fucking Stonehouse vanishes.’ Barry Gannon decrees to the dumb, holding court.
‘Don’t forget Lucky either,’ smirked George Greaves, old hand.
‘And what about bloody Watergate?’ laughed Gaz from Sport, bored of Barry.
I stole a seat. Nods all round: Barry, George, Gaz and Paul Kelly. Fat Bernard and Tom from Bradford two tables down, Jack’s mates.
Barry finished his pint. ‘Everything’s linked. Show me two things that aren’t connected.’
‘Stoke City and the League fucking Championship,’ laughed Gaz again, Mr Sport, lighting up another.
‘Big match tomorrow, eh?’ I said, part-time football fan.
Gaz, real anger in his eyes. ‘Be a right fucking shambles if it’s owt like last week.’
Barry stood up. ‘Anyone want anything from the bar?’
Nods and grunts all round, Gaz and George up for another night talking Leeds United, Paul Kelly looking at his watch, shaking his head.
I stood up, downing my Scotch. ‘I’ll give you a hand.’
Back at the bar, Kathryn down the other end talking to the barman and Steph the typist.
Barry Gannon, straight out of nowhere, ‘What’s your plan then?’
‘Hadden’s fixed me up an interview with George Oldman for tomorrow morning.’
‘So why aren’t you smiling?’
‘He doesn’t want me to push the unsolveds with Oldman, just get some background shit together, try and interview the families, if they’ll see me.’
‘Merry Christmas Mr and Mrs Parents of the Missing, Presumed Dead. Santa Eddie, bringing it all back home.’
Down pat: ‘They’ll be following Clare Kemplay. Be right back there anyway.’
‘In fact you’ll be helping them. Catharsis.’ Barry smiled for a second, looking round the room.
‘They’re linked, I know it.’
‘But to what? Three pints and a …’
Not following, catching up late, ‘A Scotch and water.’
‘And a Scotch and water.’ Barry Gannon was looking down the bar at Kathryn. ‘You’re a lucky man, Dunford.’
Me, guilt and nerves jangling, too much Scotch, too little Scotch, the conversation strange. ‘What do you mean? What do you think?’
‘How long you got?’
Fuck you, too tired to play the game. ‘Yeah. I know what you mean.’