“What do you mean, being who I am? You think I’m so obviously maladroit?”
Cassie flashed a grin. “I love the way you talk.” Then she sobered. “No, I don’t think you’re a screwup but I’m beginning to think you’re a nitwit. Lincoln was going to the theater. Judith was dying. It’s a no-brainer. How could you not have stayed with the woman you loved?”
Loved? No. Celestials remained detached from those they guarded and guided. They might care about them, but they didn’t fall in love with them. “Mortals die all the time. It’s not like death is the end for them. For you. For some reason I forgot that. I allowed myself be distracted from my duty.”
Cassie gave him a look from under her brows that said she didn’t believe a word he said. “Uh-huh.”
He wasn’t going to talk about this anymore. Jared got up and began searching for his clothes. He knew Cassie was watching him, but he refused to look at her. If he did, the sight of her generous curves and delicious nipples would make him want to climb back under the sheets and make love to her all over again. That wasn’t what he was here for. It shouldn’t be so hard to remember that. He wouldn’t forget his duty again.
He found a shoe, then his slacks. His shirt hung askew on the bedpost. He pulled it on. He had to get down on his knees to retrieve his underwear from under the bed. The springs complained as Cassie moved. When he rose, she was kneeling on the edge of the mattress, right in front of him. He couldn’t help it, his eyes swept up her rounded form, admiring her roses-on-porcelain breasts. He wanted to fill his hands again with her bounty. She was all he could think of.
It was Judith all over again.
No, it was worse. As much as he’d cared for Judith, he’d never felt so…so obsessed. Was it Cassie’s blood that was doing this to him?
Jared clenched his fingers and forced himself to meet Cassie’s gaze. There was laughter in her eyes.
“Nice outfit.” She looked pointedly at his erection peeking from his unbuttoned shirt.
Focus, he told himself. But all he could think about was how much he wanted to hold her in his arms.
Cassie touched his shoulder, and he felt her warmth, even through his shirt.
She blushed, and even the tips of her breasts turned red. “I know this can’t be a long term thing. You want to go home, to wherever that is, and I’m an assignment. But it’s pretty special for me, to be accepted for what I am, not in spite of it. I don’t want to waste that.”
Going home. That was why he was here, wasn’t it? It was a simple equation. Protect Cassie; go home. Not sleep with Cassie. Not have phenomenal, mind-blowing, toe-curling sex with her. Not get emotionally involved with her. Protect her.
Jared leaned in and gently pressed his lips to hers. His desire leapt with enthusiasm, but he ignored its clamoring for more. Cassie reached for him, but he stepped back. “We need to prepare. Aelziroth is coming. He could be here at any time.”
He turned away so the disappointment in her face wouldn’t kill his resolve. When he was with her, being abandoned in the Terrestrial Realm didn’t seem so awful. But if Aelziroth destroyed Cassie because Jared was distracted, because his reason had left the building, he couldn’t live with that.
He heard Cassie get out of bed. Then she marched around to stand in front of him, hands on her hips, and looked up at him. She didn’t seem the least self-conscious; she was quite naked. Wonderfully naked. Jared stood there holding his shoes and pants and tried to focus on Cassie’s face, as her nipples peaked from the chill and her full breasts jiggled with the vehemence of her words.
“Okay. You’re right about that. We should get ready. But before we do, I want you to listen to me. You’re wrong to keep on blaming yourself for what happened a hundred and fifty years ago. You made a choice with the best information you had at the time. It’s not wrong to love. That’s never the wrong choice. You saved other lives that night and stopped Aelziroth from
toppling the government. You’re a hero, not a failure.”
A hero? Was that how she saw him?
Though he tried to deny them, her words sent a ray of light through him. A cautious happiness began to disperse some of the dark guilt he’d been carrying. It fought back, whispering, If she only knew…but then he remembered: she did. She did know. She knew it all.
Cassie wasn’t finished. She put her hands on his chest. The heat from her fingers spread through his body. “How would you have felt if you had gone to the theater that night and nothing had happened, while Judith died alone?” she asked softly. “What excuse would have been sufficient to neglect her when you could assign another guard to the President?”
I’d have felt like the lowest kind of cad.
“But something did happen,” he protested. It sounded feeble in his own ears. Cassie was right. He hadn’t known when or where the conspiracy would manifest.
Cassie slid her arms under his shirt, pressing her lovely nude self against him. Jared dropped his clothes to pull her closer.
“The Jesuits could use you,” he murmured as he bent to kiss her lips.
Cassie snickered. “Not Catholic. Not male. Not celibate.”
Jared snorted. “Thank goodness.” He pushed her back on the mattress and climbed over her.
Cassie wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him like there was nowhere she’d rather be. He thrust his tongue into the heat of her mouth, and she opened to him. He tried not to put too much weight on her, but he wanted to feel all of her, chest to breast, thigh to thigh, soul to soul. Her hands roamed over his back, leaving a trail of fire in their wake. Her scent, of lavender and sex, fogged his mind. He left her mouth to kiss his way down and back up again.
Cassie made an appreciative noise and lifted her legs. Jared shifted so he could slide into her seductive heat.
Edgar meowed next to his ear, pacing back and forth tail-petting their heads and complaining loudly.
Cassie groaned. “Okay, okay,” she said. “He needs to go out, and he’s hungry.”
Jared glared at the cat. “You gotta work on your timing, fella.” He pulled away from Cassie and padded naked to the door. He checked the peephole, then opened the door just a crack. Edgar slipped out through the narrow opening. Jared shivered as the chilly, pine-scented October air flowed in before he quickly shut the door.
Cassie watched him with an appreciative smile as he returned. “Nice buns,” she said. “The rest of you isn’t bad either.”
Jared stopped and enjoyed the view. Cassie lay there as he’d left her, legs spread, quim flushed and moist, arms over her head, unselfconscious, and unaware of the effect her beauty had on him. His erection jumped.
Cassie chuckled.
Not so unaware.
She lifted her arms in invitation. “We’re burning daylight.”
Jared dropped his head. His hunger for Cassie had wiped everything else from his mind. “Yes, we are. We don’t have time for this.”
Cassie whimpered. “Not even a quickie?” Her face was flushed, her hair disheveled, her nipples tight and rosy from his attentions. His cock throbbed as her need tugged at him through their connection.
“Please?”
How could he fight both himself and her arousal? “I don’t think I could limit myself to a quickie.” Jared pulled her to a sitting position.
“Damn,” Cassie said, resigned disappointment on her face. “And thank you.”
“I need a shower.” A very cold shower.
“Me too. Want some company?”
Jared gave her a quick kiss. “Temptress.” He stepped back from her, shaking his head. “You go first,” he said, pulling on his pants. “I can wait.”
“Rats.” Cassie slipped off the bed.
With relief, Jared watched as she padded into the bathroom and shut the door. He wasn’t sure if he’d have had the strength to refuse if she’d persisted.
Cassie turned on the water and rested her forehead against the towel rack while she waited for the water to heat up. Despite the mul
tiple orgasms she’d already had, her body still thrummed with desire to be with Jared. It was more than the sex. It was the soul-deep sharing, the complete acceptance he gave her, the approval and wanting of her.
That, and the mind-numbing, bone-jarring orgasms.
Steam billowed from the shower. Cassie stepped into the spray, but it couldn’t wash away the turmoil of her thoughts.
How was she going to let Jared go? She trusted him. If anyone could defeat Aelziroth, he could. He’d keep her alive. And that was his ticket home. She wasn’t selfish enough to ask him to stay, no matter how much she wanted him to. She wouldn’t try to stop him. He’d wanted to rejoin his brethren so much for so long. She would not deny him that.
But she didn’t know how she’d face the pain of letting him go.
Ten minutes later she was clean and dressed, if not composed. Jared was still on the porch. Cassie was about to tell him the shower was his when the ring-tone of her cell told her Linda was calling.
Cassie answered the phone with, “Did you make it to Toronto okay?”
“Greg walked out on me!” Linda’s voice was thick with anger and tears. “This is your fault! I should never have listened to you!”
Her friend’s anger and pain fell like a slap, shocking the breath out of her. “What happened?”
“I told him the truth, that’s what! He was so great last night. I was so upset about what happened at the house, and he was so great, and this morning I thought about what you said about trusting him, so I told him I couldn’t have kids. And he walked out.”
“What did he say?”
“He said he didn’t know if he could trust me anymore. He was so angry! He’ll never forgive me.”
“Oh Linnie! I’m sorry! But Greg’s a good guy. He’ll calm down. He just needs some time to think.”
“You didn’t see his face.”
Cassie bit her lip. She hadn’t seen any of this in Linda’s future. She had nothing to go on except her instincts. “I’ve been around the two of you enough to know how much he loves you. Why else would he want to have a family with you?”
“That was before I told him.”
“You lied to him, Linnie. He’s hurt, that’s all.”
“I can’t stay here.”
“What?”
“I’m going home. I can’t stay in this hotel room with someone who hates me. I’m going back to Tucson.”
“Linnie, you can’t! What if that guy comes back?”
“I’ll call the police. That’s what they’re for. I need to get the place cleaned up anyway.”
“But—”
“Look, I love you, Cass, but I really don’t want any more advice from you right now.”
Linda’s words stung, but Cassie managed to keep the pain out of her voice. “Okay. But be careful. Please.”
“You too.” Linda hung up.
Cassie stared at the phone for a several long moments, aching inside for her friend. Then she started packing.
Jared stood on the porch, gripping the rough wooden railing. He needed a few minutes alone to collect his thoughts. He was losing his objectivity. No. Not losing. Lost. It was gone. He should be thinking of this assignment as a means to an end. His ticket home. But he couldn’t think of Cassie that way. Not anymore.
The way he felt wasn’t rational, wasn’t logical. It scared him. This lack of reason could destroy his judgment. Get Cassie killed. That thought scared him more than the thought of never going home. Even worse, he didn’t know how to stop feeling this way.
He had a little time yet—he hoped. Time to get his heart under control. It wasn’t likely Aelziroth had tracked them down already, but eventually he’d find them. He had to be ready. The Apostate had nearly won last time, and Gideon had been there to help. That wouldn’t be the case this time. It wasn’t possible for the Guardian to return to the Terrestrial Plane, not this soon.
I can’t do this alone.
It went against his pride to ask help from those he’d turned away from, the ones who’d refused to bring him home, but his pride wasn’t worth Cassie’s life. He closed his eyes and sent out a plea with everything inside him, hoping someone in the Celestial Realm was listening.
Cassie sat opposite Jared at a scarred wooden table in the kitchen, the eggs on her plate growing cold. “But what if Aelziroth goes back to Linda’s, searching for me?” She didn’t expect Jared to change his mind, but she couldn’t let it go.
“She—” Jared began in the same calming voice he’d been using since he’d come in from the porch.
She cut him off. “You know she can’t face him alone. I have to go back!”
“Cassie, stop!” Jared’s tone was no longer patient. “I will not let you endanger yourself to protect your selfish, impulsive friend.”
Cassie gaped at him. How could he be so harsh and judgmental?
“I know you care deeply about her, and I respect your loyalty, but she chose her path. Her path. Not yours. She lied to Greg—”
“She made a mistake—”
“And now she’s choosing to put herself in harm’s way.”
“I know but—”
“This is not your fault. Or your responsibility.”
“What if it was Gideon who needed help?”
“Gideon wouldn’t be that stupid.”
An angry rush swept through her, but before she could speak Jared raised his hands. “But if he was, I’d help him. You know I would.”
“So you’ll take me back?”
“No.”
“But—”
“If Aelziroth comes after you in Tucson, a lot of other people could get hurt, including Linda. I’ll call Cam and have him keep an eye on her. Will that do?”
Cassie thought of the big man who knew all about guns, and about his little fox Bohdan. She’d rather be with Linda herself, but Cam would be able to protect Linda without drawing danger to her. “Thank you.”
Jared nodded, then made the call. He must have liked whatever Cam told him, because he was much happier when he flipped his cell shut. “Cam found the little girl he was looking for,” he said, answering the question in her eyes. Then looked at her plate and frowned. “I’ll warm up your eggs. You’ve got to eat. We don’t know how much time we have.” He stood and put her plate in the microwave.
Cassie shivered at the reminder of her own danger. She glanced over to the windowsill where Edgar lay soaking up a sunbeam. Seeing him boneless like that reassured her. She didn’t think Aelziroth could be anywhere close without Edgar reacting.
“Tell me about your sword.”
“My sword.” Jared lifted a brow. “I presume you mean the one you shouldn’t have been able to see?”
Cassie grinned. “Yeah, that one.”
The microwave dinged and Jared put her plate back in front of her. “I don’t suppose you could pretend you didn’t notice?”
Cassie frowned. Had she heard him right? He was a Lightbringer. He believed truth and knowledge were important. That the only way to make a good decision was to have as much information as possible. Why would he ask her to deny what she’d seen?
Jared closed his eyes. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have asked that of you.”
“What’s going on?” She made herself take a bite of the eggs and was surprised to find she had an appetite after all.
He ran a hand over his mouth. “Rules. After all this time, I’m still trying to follow Michael’s rules. You’d think I’d learn.”
Suddenly she understood. Pieces of the knowledge she’d gleaned during their lovemaking snapped into place. Jared wanted to go home, and Michael held the key. Piss off Michael, and he was stuck here, alone, separated from the others. The use of overt manifestations of Power, like his sword, were frowned upon among the Celestials.
“What were you supposed to do? Let him kill you like he nearly did Gideon?”
Jared’s jaw tightened. “The Lightbringers pressed the Seraphim into abandoning overt displays of Celestial Power. It’s onl
y fair they insist we follow the same rules.”
“And once you were dead, I’d have been next. Is that what Michael would have preferred?”
He looked away.
“Never mind,” Cassie said. “I don’t need to know.”
Jared shook his head. “To hell with the rules. You did see it, and these aren’t normal circumstances. Come here.” He stood and held his arms out to her.
Cassie went to him. Jared kissed her lightly, then turned her so her back was to him. Her arms rested along the top of his as he lifted them.
*I’d very much like to know how you can see this,* he thought to her, then a rush of light sizzled beneath her fingertips, leaping from his fist.
The hair on Cassie’s arms rose. It didn’t look like a sword or one of those light sabers from Star Wars, but that was the closest word for it. In fact, she wasn’t sure she was seeing it at all, but how else would she be sensing it?
Jared swept it from side to side. It seemed to have no weight, make no sound. It was eerily still, though its power—Jared’s power—pushed outward, humming.
“Can I touch it?” She felt Jared’s amusement and added, “Don’t worry, I’ll still respect you in the morning.”
Jared snorted. “I should at least get dinner and a movie first.”
“I made you breakfast.”
“Go ahead. It won’t hurt someone it’s not meant to.”
Cassie slid her hand forward, over Jared’s, to the place where the glowing blade emerged from his hand. Her fingers tingled as if she’d had a mild electric shock and her hair stood on end. She felt fully awake.
Jared pulled the power back into himself. As quickly as it appeared, the sword was gone. The tingling stopped, but she still felt full of energy.
“Wow.” Cassie rubbed her arms. “Can Aelziroth do that, too?” As soon as she asked the question, she knew the answer. “No. He’s possessing a human body, not creating one out of his own essence. But that gives him other advantages.”
Jared nodded. “That’s right.”
“What about your wings?”
Lightbringer Page 14