5
Awakening early, Faye was most certain that she would be visited at some point during the day to be told that she was being reprimanded or replaced as a teacher. The town was very strict regarding decorum and didn’t fool around giving chance after chance. She had felt a pull, a calling, last night and could not resist the small walk all alone in the night air. How was she to have known that she would have been spotted?
In all her stories, in all her lessons that she’d sat through as a young child, the one thing she’d surmised is that when you felt a calling for some unknown reason, you answered. You might be called upon by the Lord for another path, you never knew. Now, Faye knew that she wasn’t Noah, Jonah, or Joseph… but according to the bible that she’d read over and over again during the years, if you were selected for having faith and being strong of character, you had to be willing to step up and answer the call. She wanted to be chosen and tried to be a truly good person!
She wholly believed that things happened in life to lead you down a pathway that He created for you. She was given inner strength at a young age dealing with alcoholism, unselfishness and caring for others, and most of all? Absolute patience. She filled her time, her days, with tending to the children and waiting foolishly for something she knew in her heart was beyond her wildest dreams. Gabriel’s young face that day at the creek, his sad eyes and vow to return had changed her life. The frond ring he’d given her years ago was brittle, but she still held fast to the promise that he’d return as promised to take her to wife.
It was stupid and childish to believe a kid’s game. She’d seen other children pretend to get married in the field beside the schoolhouse. They held mock weddings and dabbled at being a parent, ordering their classmates to clean up after themselves. She watched these events with sadness and longing. Gabriel’s solemn eyes had been so sure, so firm in his resolve that she’d instantly believed him. Now, twenty years later she was past marrying age, nearly a spinster, yet still waiting for him. Faye had offers of marriage but had declined them all.
Shaking her head at the rush of mixed emotions thinking of that day brought on, she smiled at the students as they entered the one room building. That was one thing she was guilty of and had been caught quite often doing: daydreaming. She was glad that she’d stayed up late trying to keep busy to prevent her from worrying herself to death. She’d baked several sets of rolls instead of loaves of bread, giving her the opportunity to share with the children that arrived early, including Titania. The young girl had touched her heart and she felt a keen kinship with her.
As the day wore on, Faye realized that perhaps she’d worried over nothing since no one showed up or arrived to discuss her evening walk. Dismissing class, she wrapped a few rolls in a cloth and tucked them in Titania’s empty lunch pail.
“What’s that for?”
“I thought perhaps you and your father might like one with your supper.”
“I’m not sure if he will be home or not.”
“What do you mean?” Faye asked, trying to keep any surprise or reproach from her voice. Judge not, lest ye be judged, rang in her mind. She didn’t know the circumstances of the young girl’s home life but found it a bitter pill to swallow, imagining the bright child all alone for hours on end.
“He’s a ranger and we were sent here to help with rustlers in the area.”
Ahhhh yes, she thought. That made sense. There had been reports of cattle missing from several farms in the area. She had none of her own, so she’d dismissed the issue. The farm owners had been in quite an uproar about a month ago after church. It made sense that they would send off for assistance. No one could ever afford to lose income, much less the amount of money they were getting for cattle and steers nowadays at the market. The small town of Bright Star was growing by leaps and bounds. Having a ranger in town to help aide the sheriff as well was simply a plus, reassuring all of their safety.
“Well, I’m certain that your father is a very busy man if he is hunting down those men. We are all very thankful he’s come. You should be very proud of him.”
“I am, but I just miss him sometimes.”
“Well, if you ever get scared or need something, you know I’m not too far from you.” She’d remembered what it was like to have no one to turn to, to go to for kinship. She didn’t want that loneliness for Titania.
“Thank you for that,” the young girl said politely in a very formal tone. The sound of the mature words coming from her diminutive size was almost comical, making the corner of Faye’s lip upturn in amusement.
“Of course! Did you get a chance to talk to him about helping me cook the pies?”
“Yes. He was fine with it and seemed pretty happy honestly. It was funny because he said that he was glad I had my smile back.”
“Maybe he felt like you were sad about your mother and was relieved to see something perk you up?”
“I guess so. But I smile every day.”
“Well, sometimes when we smile it doesn’t reach our eyes, our windows to the soul. When you smile, you should do so with your whole heart. Otherwise, you are just baring your teeth like a stray mutt,” Faye teased, holding up her hands and pretending to growl, making Titania giggle.
“I see what you mean.”
“I usually have a good idea here or there,” she shrugged nonchalantly, causing another round of laughter. “One per month is my limit however. I should write this date down in order to be sure I don’t surpass my limits. What do you think?”
“You’re supposed to have good ideas, Miss Miller! You’re the grown up and the teacher,” Titania gaped in surprise. Faye was struggling to keep a straight face. Teasing the young girl was so easy. Had she ever been that naïve or tender?
“That doesn’t mean that I know everything. We are always learning, even when we get old and wrinkly. I promise you, that never changes.”
“Really?”
“Yes ma’am,” Faye said firmly, giving a red braid a quick tug. “Come now, we should head out soon.” They gathered up their things and she was happy to see that they were falling into a routine. Titania seemed to be more carefree the last few days and developing a bond with her. She cared for all her students, but this one… This girl was special to her. As they got to the split in the road, she was surprised to have the young girl suddenly throw her arms around her waist in a hug. Poor, sweet child, she thought, patting her gently on the back.
“I will see you tomorrow,” Titania told her happily.
“I’m glad of it too.” Faye watched the young girl take off again down the road until the red braids disappeared from sight. Sighing, she turned and made her way down to her own home yet again knowing that as soon as she was alone, her thoughts would run rampant. Maybe she should have married long ago so she could fill her home with her own children instead of living alone. Perhaps she’d do some more baking or reading tonight to fill her time again.
Busying herself, she started a stew to simmer and found herself picking up a piece of needlework she’d started long ago. Stitching carefully, she tried to find peace in the rhythm it created. Needle in, twist the string, pull it out and set it in place again. It was repetitive and eventually would finish the scene. Right now, all that was on the linen was simply a tree. She had no plans on what else to put there as of yet; it was something to fill her time.
“Ow!” Faye exclaimed and quickly shoved her index finger in her mouth. Now she remembered why she’d put the piece away. Stabbing herself always got her temper in a snit and ruined her efforts at staying calm. Tossing it down, she felt almost annoyed by her attempts to keep her calm demeanor. She’d enjoyed her walk yesterday evening and felt the yearning again, the rebelliousness she’d tucked deep down inside years ago, springing forth. She’d not been turned in, so what if she went out again? Eagerly, she leapt from the chair and set the needlework back in the basket where it had been hidden before.
It should be easy to remain hidden this evening. No one should have ever been
on her property anyhow, but with her dark hair and sedate brown dress. She’d be nearly invisible unless she stood in the moonlight. Grinning, she darted out the front door without a second thought and sighed happily as the cool air hit her face. She loved being outdoors. There was something so visceral about being surrounded by nature, even if she had to hide in order to remain proper.
Walking along, Faye found herself at nearly the same spot where she’d been interrupted the night before. It was almost magnetic, the pull to the location. The moonbeams shone down through the canopy of trees, illuminating the water. The bubbling brook that fed the pool was almost musical, making her feel such peace.
“Little fairy? Is that you?”
Faye heard a warm dark voice rush over her and whirled around in shock. She’d not heard anyone around her as she listened to the sounds around her. No one had ever called her that, not since…
“Gabriel?” she whispered, staring up at the man in the darkness. Neither were children anymore, and so much time had passed. How had he guessed it was her? Could it actually be him? As if it was a sign from above, a bit of light illuminated him as a cloud moved across the night sky. She saw him remove his hat slowly and saw those graphite eyes in the bright moonlight, those same eyes from so long ago. “It is you,” she breathed in shock.
“I told you I’d come back someday,” he said almost apologetically. “It’s been quite a while, little fairy. Faye, right?”
“Yes, Faye Miller. It’s been a long time actually,” she said softly, staring at him. Gone was the boyish charm and in its place was a solemn man’s eyes that looked weary down to the soul. “I wondered what had happened to you that day.”
“I thought about you as well,” he replied, the tension leaving his face. “What are you doing out here?”
“I could ask you the very same question. This is my land.”
“I’m looking for rustlers, but I think I am going to have to continue my searching tomorrow, my pretty fairy Faye,” he said gently, reaching out to cup her face. His warm hand felt perfect against her skin and she could feel herself melting towards him. Suddenly, things clicked into place in her mind and she froze.
“Your Titania’s father? I thought I recognized the eyes,” she blurted out quickly as she realized the events that had to have transpired. Instantly she felt awash with betrayal for a child’s dream. Regret burned through her. She’d passed on her own opportunities for marriage and a family waiting for him.
“I waited for you,” she whispered painfully, staring at him. “You asked me to wait and said you’d come.”
“Faye,” he began and dropped his hand instantly, guilt and shame washing over him. “So much happened to take me away from here. I was a boy and you were a young girl. I’ve made mistakes and done things I’m not proud of.”
“Same here, but I was steadfast because you said you’d return. I believed you.”
“And I did.”
“With a family, a beautiful daughter. This meant you…” Faye couldn’t even say the words aloud, her stomach turned, and she felt incredibly foolish. She knew how children were made and the fact that he’d pledged himself to another. Those words had meant nothing to him and to her childish heart they had been everything. This was just another example of how her mother had called her foolish and immature years ago. She was right, and it galled her to admit it. “Never mind.”
“Faye, please don’t do this. Not when I’ve just come home.”
“Of course,” she agreed coldly, feeling herself wall off any emotions. She was stunned and felt pain in her heart, holding on to a dream that was quickly turning into her worst nightmare. The boy she’d waited for had turned into a handsome man that had not given her two thoughts over the years. He’d grown, married and had children with someone else. “Welcome home, Ranger… ah, Reardon?”
“Don’t shut me out. I came back.”
“You don’t owe me a thing, Mr. Reardon.”
“Call me Gabriel like you did when we lay by the creek. I never thought I’d see you again.”
“That much seems to be obvious.”
“Faye…”
“It’s Miss Miller,” she interrupted quickly.
“Titania’s teacher,” he nodded sadly. “I’m glad she likes you.”
“She’s a wonderful girl.”
“She reminds me of you,” he admitted softly, clutching his hat nervously as if he knew he was botching his opportunity with her. She could see it in his expression. He looked to be a mix of guilt, pride, stubbornness and hope. The stubborn jut to his chin told her that he’d be set in his ways once he’d made his mind up on something. While she practiced tolerance, something in his stance told her he was hot headed and stubborn.
“How is that?” Faye gaped at his words, stunned and taken aback. “I am obviously not a parent to her. Her mother died, leaving her heartbroken. Her father is gone quite a bit, those were Titania’s own words. She’s lonely and needs someone.”
“She is spirited, bold and so very smart. Yes, and lonely too. Just like you, I’m assuming.”
“You assume much, sir. I think I should leave now.”
“See me again tomorrow?” Gabriel requested quickly, grabbing her arm as Faye turned to leave. “Let’s meet under the moonlight again.”
“I think not. Release me.”
“I will for now but promise me you’ll meet me again. Don’t make me beg for a chance to explain. I want to know you, the real you, not my memory of that afternoon,” he asked pointedly. “Does it hurt anything to talk to me?”
“Mr. Reardon, it would be unseemly,” Faye started and was shocked when he suddenly pulled her into his arms. His lips landed on hers almost desperately, as if he knew things were fragile and brittle between them. He was a stranger. Stunned, she knew she should protest, but the feeling of warmth and intimacy the kiss brought had her ensnared. She’d stiffened at the initial contact of his mouth, then softened as she melted against him, feeling a wave of desire for the very first time coursing through her. She’d never been kissed, only held out hope that he’d return. Now that he had, she discovered that he’d not waited for her but broke faith and married another woman. He’d returned as a widower. There was more to be said, more to know.
“Meet me tomorrow so we can talk,” Gabriel whispered against her cheek before releasing her. Faye’s hands trembled as she steadied herself against a nearby tree. She needed time to think, process and honestly? She needed to know more about him before she could move on or forgive.
“Alright,” she whispered, her voice thick with confusion and emotion. “I will meet you tomorrow night.”
“Good,” he nodded, satisfied. “I will see you then.”
Faye watched as he slapped his hat back on his head in the moonlight, hiding those expressive grey eyes from her. He’d changed from a gangly boy to a gorgeous man. His face had sharpened, losing the childishness to it. He was lean, hard and cold, indicating that he’d had a rough life up until now. Truly, she had too. Both had been shaped and molded into different people, but she owed it to herself to hear what he had to say. If nothing else, to close the door and do away with any regrets she might have had. The first step forward was the hardest, or so the saying went. She had yearned for him to return and had gotten her wish; now it was up to her to deal with it.
6
For Faye, the next day seemed to fly by. She was distracted and nervous all day long. A few of the children caught onto it and whispered among themselves. Today was story day and she could not focus. They’d bested her today, which meant no homework.
She was going to meet with Gabriel, something she’d ached for so very long, before she discovered that he’d moved on. She felt stupid at waiting but knew in her heart that if she had to do it over again? She’d have done the same.
In her mind, over the years, she’d built up this boy to become the man she always wanted and dreamed of. Now, when faced with reality - It was clear that while he was incredibly handsome,
he wasn’t what she’d fantasized about. He was a different man and they were taking the first steps to get to know each other. She’d almost sent word with Titania that she needed to cancel their clandestine meeting, but the girl’s innocent face told her that he’d not confided in her.
She’d not said a word either. Her job and future hung in the balance. She’d already had a scare at being caught by someone from town, but now knew that it had been him, or she assumed so. Instead, she would give in to curiosity and impulsiveness and meet him under the cover of night. Women teachers were not supposed to mingle with men or marry. Male teachers were given the opportunity to go courting twice a week. While it didn’t make sense, she wasn’t one to argue with the town that employed her.
Instead, she found herself beside the creek yet again for the third rebellious night in a row. The air was crisp tonight and she had brought a heavy shawl, wrapped tightly around herself. It would provide warmth and gave her the impression that she could hide behind a shell. This wasn’t true, but it was there none the less. As she stepped forward, she started in surprise to see a blanket on the ground.
“What’s this?” she asked curiously.
“Well, I thought it might be obvious if I left the house carrying a chair and I wanted you to be comfortable, so we’ve got plenty of time to talk. I also brought a canteen of hot tea, if you’d like a cup to keep warm.”
“Yes please,” Faye was touched. The man was awfully considerate, and it wasn’t something she’d expected at all. Taking her seat on the blanket, she tucked her legs underneath her properly and adjusted her skirt to make sure her ankles didn’t show. She stared at him as he poured the contents into a tin mug and handed it to her with a slight frown.
“It was hot when I left the house, but it’s barely warm now. I’m sorry about that.”
Lawfully Betrothed Page 3