I might as well continue searching for helpful books since I’m here. My fingers stop on one named Help for Beginners: Black Magic. I place it in my other arm. The next book I find is Magic 101: The Only Guide You’ll Ever Need. I’m not sure if I should keep looking. I can always come back to this freak show.
Two familiar voices turn me to stone.
Cameron and Ethan.
“When’s this meeting supposed to start, bro?” Ethan asks.
“Sshh,” Cameron warns. “Keep quiet, dumbass, or you’ll get us kicked out before it even begins.”
Ethan mumbles, “Sorry.”
I huddle as close to the bookshelf as I possibly can. I don’t want their army to come after me. Was that why everyone gave me cold stares? Do they know who I am? More importantly, what the hell are Cameron and Ethan talking about?
After waiting until they disappear into a back room, I quickly pay for the books and get out of there. I’m tired of their sinister eyes staring at me. It’s like they can see under my clothes or something.
I’m too busy staring at the busted concrete steps, making sure I don’t fall on my face, to notice that I’m walking directly into people.
“Oh, I’m so—” I freeze. Shit.
“Candra? What are you doing here?” Jana asks.
I fold my arms across my chest. “I could ask you two the same thing. But, since you asked first, I’ll just tell you that I came here to buy a few books.”
“Listen, you shouldn’t be here alone.”
I roll my eyes. “Yeah, so I’ve been told. Listen, I’ve got to get home before it gets dark.” Staring up at the sky, I realize I don’t have much time before the sun goes down. I definitely don’t want to be stuck here with the freaks after dark.
“Oh my God. You walked here? Have you completely lost it?” Jana asks.
“Not yet, but I’m close.”
“C’mon. We’re taking you home,” she says, grabbing my arm and pulling me toward the street ahead.
The entire ride home she and Blake don’t speak. It’s like they’re pissed at me. At me of all people. Like I don’t have a complete say-so in where I go and what I do. Some friends.
“Thanks for the ride,” I say, hopping out of the backseat before Blake makes a complete stop.
“Candra, wait.” Jana jumps out behind me. “Look, the best place for you to be right now is at home, not in a bad area such as Night Sky Books.”
“So it’s okay for you two to go there, but not me? Don’t be a hypocrite,” I huff, and spin around to open the front door.
“We’re only trying to help. I won’t go there unless Blake goes with me.”
“How sweet. So, tell me, why were you two there? I mean, I have a good reason. Do you?”
Jana’s eyes water. “Candra, don’t do this. We can’t—we’ve been told to keep quiet for now.”
I frown. “About what?”
“Stuff that’s happening. Okay, this was a bad idea. I’ve said too much already. I’ve got to go.”
I practically leap after her. “Jana, stop—” I grip her arm as she opens the passenger door.
“Candra, don’t make me do this. I want to tell you everything, but I can’t. Not yet.”
I stare into her eyes for a few moments. She’s torn. Entirely torn. Between what? I don’t know, but I aim to find out.
I release her from my death hold. She wraps her arms around my neck and squeezes me into a hug.
“One day I’ll be able to tell you,” she whispers in my ear.
Chapter Eighteen
Like clockwork, Ben arrives to pick me up the next morning for school. Randy and Beth already left for work, so I don’t have to worry about them going into werewolf mode and ripping Ben to pieces. I want to tell him about last night’s conversation between Beth and me. I want to tell him we can end this, together. But I don’t. Instead, we don’t say much. I find his presence comforting. I’ve gone through too much lately to have him jibber-jabber and ask me about my problems.
When we’re almost at school, I ask, “So, where’s this festival at?” I haven’t really thought about it since yesterday.
“Oh, um,” Ben stammers, “you’ll see.”
I grit my teeth. “There’s not a festival, is there?” I don’t even glance toward him. My eyes pierce the road. I should’ve seen right through him the first time he mentioned a stupid festival. Who goes to a festival anyway?
His head teeters back and forth. “Like I said—you’ll see.”
“You are the most stubborn person I’ve ever met,” I say, shaking my head. “Why would you invite me to a festival when you know damn well there’s not one?” I mumble something about him being stupid.
“Definitely stubborn. But stupid? That’s a no. As far as there being a festival or not—you’ll have to wait and find out.” He gives me one of his irresistible grins. I can’t argue with him when he does that.
Gossip at school has escalated over the past few days. News of life-long enemies playing nice with each other doesn’t sit well with the student body. Ben and I receive constant glares and whispers when we walk through the hallways. I keep my chin up, though, to let them know it doesn’t bother me.
“See you in class,” he says, like he does every day we walk together.
But today’s different, because Jana and Blake aren’t waiting for me at my locker. In a way, I’ve lost them. I know they aren’t Followers. I know none of this is morally correct. I shouldn’t be with him.
After Chemistry, I snatch my English book and head to class. Ben’s waiting for me. I plop down in my usual seat next to him.
“Did I tell you that you look beautiful today?” he whispers.
I roll my eyes. Since when do I look anything other than disorderly?
“No, you haven’t,” I reply.
“Well, you do.”
“Ben, I thought we were staying on the friendship-only level.” I test his reaction. My heart beats rapidly, waiting for his response. True, I can handle something more, but can he? I have to keep everything in check.
He bites his lip and avoids my eyes for a couple of seconds. He glances at the front of the class, where Mr. Everett is writing today’s lecture on the dry erase board. “I’ve thought about it, and I don’t really want to be just friends.”
My heart bursts into a shower of confetti. I make sure my voice is free of its nervous edge before I ask, “Is that so?”
“Yeah, and I do want to take you out tonight.”
I can hardly breathe. “Where are we going?”
“It’s a surprise,” he says, leaning back in his seat. Now he wants to pay full attention to whatever Mr. Everett rambles about.
The bell shrills, and we stand from our desks. My face is still heated.
“Pick you up after school?” Ben asks.
I can only nod.
At lunch, I search everywhere for Jana and Blake but can’t find them. I sit alone, drinking chocolate milk and eating a chilled slice of pizza. I can’t even stomach it, and toss it back onto my tray. Are they that pissed at me? I don’t want to ruin a good friendship. They’re the only two people who made me feel welcome when I moved here.
Silently, I hope they’re just late for school, that I’ll see them in class.
But later, when I enter Geography, they’re not there.
I sit at my desk. My fingers thrum in a wave. I pick up my pencil and chew on it. Something’s up. They’re never out at the same time.
Even after class is over and school is out, I look for them. Still no indication they showed up. I suddenly wish I was working today, so I could find out what’s going on. With my luck, Jana won’t be at Livia’s.
Ben pulls up to the curb and I slide into the passenger seat.
“You seem upset,” he says. “What’s wrong?”
I shake my head and mutter, “Nothing.”
“Doesn’t seem like nothing.” He leans forward, trying to lock eyes with me.
I wave him off. “No
, really. It’s nothing.” Why am I so agitated?
“Okay,” he says, falling back against his seat.
Within a few minutes, I’m at my doorstep. Ben drives too fast for anyone’s good. We sit in silence for a few minutes. I assume we both have something to say, and don’t know how to say it. He speaks first.
“If you don’t feel like going tonight, I’ll understand. We can hang out again some other night.”
“No, I don’t want to cancel on you. I might need this getaway.”
“All right. I’ll pick you up around seven.”
I nod, opening the passenger door.
“Oh, and Candra,” he adds, “wear something nice.” Again, he gives me a tempting smile.
My first thought upon entering the house is that I’m glad Randy and Beth aren’t home. Beth will have another tizzy if she finds out I’m still seeing Ben.
Later, she does show up. Pops in from work while I’m upstairs primping. I hear the front door close, and her footsteps on the stairs.
“Candra?” she asks on the other side of my door.
“Yeah,” I reply.
“Randy and I have a dinner date tonight. You want us to bring you something back?” Her voice is muffled.
“No, that’s fine. I’m not that hungry.” What she doesn’t know won’t hurt her. She’d lock me in my room and make sure I’d never see daylight again.
She’s out of the house with plenty of time to spare, but it’s ten till seven and no sign of Ben. I wonder if he’s one of those people that either shows up on the dot, or shows up fashionably late.
I pace the floor, stare at my clock until it changes minutes, and secretly wish I could speed up time. My stomach rolls. Vomiting crosses my mind.
I pick up Help for Beginners: Black Magic and skim the first few pages. A picture of demons floating in the air, and humans cowering before them is on the second page of the first chapter. I read on.
Those set in the ways of practicing the dark art must always abide by one rule: Use the gift at your own risk.
What the hell? I slam the book shut. Sounds like some sort of warning label.
Ding dong. The door bell calls to me.
I try composing myself. A smile creeps onto my lips when I see that he brought me red roses. Propping himself against the doorframe with one arm, he leans in close to me. My skin tingles.
“Um…” There are so many words I want to say right now, but I’m trying to think of ways to say them without being rude. “Ben, we’re just friends. You even said that. And this…festival we’re going to…” I reach out, grasping for more words, but I can’t think straight with his pearly whites sparkling so close to my face, and his minty breath grazing my neck. The walls disintegrate around me.
“Candra, there’s no festival.” His smile grows wider, if that’s possible.
“Oh?” I bury my nose in the flowers, unable to say anything. I can try, but I’ll be unsuccessful.
“I want to take you out to dinner,” he says, biting his lower lip.
Please stop. I shut my eyes.
His eyebrows fold. “Is that…okay?”
“Yeah, no, it’s fine.” My voice shakes. “I’m going to go put these in water. Be right back.” I practically trip on my way to the kitchen.
Once again, we’re silent on the ride to the restaurant. The thought that, at this moment, everything’s so perfect makes me sad. It’s too perfect. Perfect doesn’t exist, and nothing lasts forever. I also know that at the end of the day, he’s still my biggest threat.
I growl in annoyance, forgetting I’m still in the car.
“What’s wrong? Is something bothering you?” Ben frowns.
“Sorry. Just thinking about some stuff.”
Like how I could eat him instead of my birthday cake in a couple of months.
Street lights illuminate the snow slush accumulated on the side of the roads; they twinkle like stars as we pass, and then fade behind us. In the thick, falling rain, the street lamps cast an eerie orange glow.
We pull to the front of an upscale restaurant, behind a line of cars. Parking is valet and one of the men in a red vest gladly opens my door for me, as Ben walks around the car to hand him his keys.
Beau Lierre is beautiful from the outside. White lights entwine with ivy. Tables the color of a milky coffee, with glass tops, sit in the outer porch area, which is sheltered by a green cover. A black metal fence with elaborate crownwork weaves its way around the building and to the front, where we’re greeted by a gate.
Ben leads me up the short walkway; his hand on my lower back, guiding me. He opens the door. Fully gentleman-like.
A hostess in a plain black dress greets us as we enter, seating us upstairs. Most of the restaurant is made up of booths, presumably for privacy.
The menu is in both French and English. I have no idea what to order. I feel so out of place.
“Okay, seriously, this is too much. I would’ve been happy just going to eat a burger,” I tell him.
He suppresses a laugh. “This is nothing.”
The color rises in my cheeks. “Thanks.” I can’t believe this is happening. I’m sitting here with one of the most gorgeous guys in high school, and he’s making me blush. I push aside my thoughts to continue the conversation. “So, you’ve lived here all your life?”
“Yep. Born and raised.” He eyes me for a moment. “Why are you here? I heard you were in some sort of trouble back home?”
I snort. “It’s a big misunderstanding. That’s all.”
“You think you’ll go back?”
“God, I hope so.” I realize my words came out too quickly. I don’t want him to think I can’t stand being with him. “I mean—”
“You don’t like living here?” His black eyes pierce mine. For a second, I’d believe my heart skips a beat.
Regaining my poise, I say, “It’s not that. I mean, I could’ve stayed in Charleston, but my parents thought this was best.”
Why am I talking to him about my problems? He probably knows everything by now, anyway.
“But you think otherwise.” He isn’t questioning me.
This is embarrassing. I refuse to look at him. Instead, I keep my gaze directed down at the table. “I thought things could’ve been worked out back home and there wasn’t a good reason for being here. But now I know I was wrong.” My eyes lift to gauge his reaction.
He leans forward. “Enlighten me.” I get sidetracked again, but pull myself out of his trance-like stare long enough to answer.
“Umm…” I stall. “Well, my aunt and uncle have been really good to me. They could’ve easily said no about taking me in. I’ve learned a lot from them.”
“You didn’t answer my question.”
My face warms. “I want to go back. Charleston is home. But part of me feels like I belong here.” I laugh nervously. “I know. It sounds crazy.”
“I’m glad you’re enjoying your stay,” is all he says, with a grin. “Will you be going back to Charleston anytime soon?”
“Not that I know of. I’m pretty much stuck here until I graduate. That’s part of the deal.”
“Good.” He reaches across the table to take my hand. This can’t be happening. Not to me. Why’s he so infatuated? Oh, but he’s so perfect.
Our waitress stops by to take our drink orders. Ben never lets go of my hand. The longer he holds it, the hotter it becomes. I wonder if it’s some sort of heat reaction to our increased werewolf hormones, or if it’s something else entirely.
“You seem upset,” he says. “Hopefully not by my questions.”
I cringe and shake my head. “It’s a sensitive subject, I guess. I haven’t really talked about my feelings with anyone since I moved here. You’re the first.”
“Well, now I feel special.” He pauses for a few seconds, cautious. “There are things that I’d like to tell you, but I don’t think now’s the right time.”
Our waitress brings us our drinks, and we order dinner.
“Like w
hat?” I ask when she leaves.
The edge of his mouth curves into a grin. “I’d tell you, but then I’d have to kill you.”
Chapter Nineteen
I can’t sleep. I’ve never been so attracted to someone, especially someone who makes me feel like I belong. He makes me believe I’m invincible, noticed.
I’m working up enough courage to talk to him about changing the way things are between our families. It can’t always be like this, a battle over something so moronic. Maybe there’s a sliver of possibility waiting just around the corner. Maybe it’s my destiny—stopping what started years ago.
Fate twists and flips people until they land on their backs so they have no choice but to see the light. It might be the most desperate attempt I can make, but I’ve made up my mind. There’s no stopping me.
I’m going to his house.
Several questions hop through my mind: what if he’s not there? What if they kill me? What if I’m held hostage, nobody knowing my whereabouts?
Pen meets paper. I scribble a short note to Beth. I’m hoping this won’t take long, so I can return home and rip it up before she sees it.
I lock the front door behind me. Beth and Randy shouldn’t be home for a few more hours. Hopefully that’ll be enough time. My hands tremble at the thought of the consequences I might face if I’m caught.
Please be there.
I concentrate on directions, remembering when Jana dropped Lily off, and I shudder at the thought of the poor animal in the forest. It was never a dog. I’m fully aware of that now.
Light fades on the horizon, like a candle dimming then exhaling its last breath. Digging my hands further into my pockets, I bury my head and push against the wind, which pushes back hard. There’s a bite behind the cold, and the sky tells me winter is coming.
I pass house upon house and walk down several separate streets before I’m familiar with my location. I know his house is close. Nearby, smoke pours into the air from a pile of dead leaves someone’s burning in their front yard. My nose wiggles at the bitter stench. I latch onto my biceps, hugging myself. My breath hangs in the air for a matter of seconds then evaporates. I silently pray his house is near.
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