As they crossed the lawns Ginny felt her agitation mount. Suppose he did remember...suppose he had at some time met her mother, and began to jump to conclusions. Suppose...
‘The Colonel,’ Jake said softly into her ear, ‘is the local “Don Juan”—a great ladies’ man.’
‘I think I guessed as much.’ She was surprised her voice sounded so calm, so unruffled, but the opportunity was too good to miss. ‘But he is a bit older than your father?’
‘Mmm. Considerably.’
‘So... did he serve in Vietnam as well?’
‘Oh, no. He had retired long before that. But you must ask Dad if you want to know more about that.’
‘Ah.’ So he could not have known her mother. She hurried on. ‘And is there a Mrs Colonel?’
‘No. He has been chased from one end of the county to the other but no one has been skilful enough to catch him. Come on—’ seizing her hand, he hurried her towards a clump of trees ‘—I want to show you the lake.’
And, in spite of everything, in spite of knowing all the risks, as she did, she allowed herself to be guided along a path through the wooded area well away from the house, and there, wandering among the trees in the dappled heat of the perfect afternoon, she lost all the will to resist.
She would not close her mind to the dangers—that was a promise fervently made—but what was wrong with enjoying the touch of his fingers on her inner wrist for a few brief minutes? It was such bliss, and there was no harm when...
‘Ginny.’ They had reached the edge of the small lake, and stood together for a moment watching flies dance on the golden haze above the surface. Occasionally there was a widening ring on the water, streaked pink and gilt by the late sunshine, while at the far side, among clumps of sedge, a family of water fowl floated, preened and dived. It might have been the Forest of Arden, certainly it had that same air of enchantment, and for a moment it seemed possible to enter that magic world, to find solutions to what was insoluble.
And Jake was turning her towards him, his index finger lightly tracing the line of her jaw. ‘Virginia.’ The name lingered on his tongue, mingling with a groan, as if even its familiarity had taken on a whole new meaning. ‘I can hardly believe we’ve known each other for just two days and yet...and yet...’ Intense blue eyes burned down into hers, his voice deepened. ‘I feel I’ve always known you. At least, I’ve suspected, hoped you were out there somewhere, waiting for me to find you.’
His words were such an echo of her own feelings that she knew a moment’s sheer exultation, so intense and powerful as to frighten her after a moment into sense and even banality. ‘Yes.’ Her tone was considering, slightly doubtful, and her jaw was rigid with the strain of her false smile. ‘Well, what I find so marvellous is that everyone is so friendly. Your mother didn’t even blink when we arrived today, right in the midst of the preparations for the party.’
‘Well, Mother takes everything in her stride. She is the world’s best organiser.’
Not unlike her own mother. The bleak thought was like another reminder. ‘You realise, of course, that if I had known about their anniversary before you popped it out at me on the plane nothing would have persuaded me to come?’ Hard to imagine a less appropriate visitor at their family celebration, on the tines of the wicked fairy at the christening, though maledictions were not in her plan.
‘Nonsense.’ He dismissed her protestations with easy confidence. ‘They are all thrilled to have you, though I confess they’re going to be taken aback to discover you’re not exactly what you appear to be.’
‘What?’ His words caused a throb of anxiety bordering on real fear. She was becoming so enmeshed in deceit she would soon be unable to pick her way through all the lies. ‘What on earth do you mean?’
‘Well, I suspect—’ he grinned ‘—in fact I’m sure they’ve got the idea that you and I are... Well, I’m not in the habit of flying down from New York with girls in tow.’
‘Oh, I’m sorry. I hope it won’t make things difficult for you when they find out the truth. I mean...’ She felt colour rise in her cheeks. ‘I mean when your father knows it’s really him I came to see.’ She hoped her detached tone might cool the situation just a little, and certainly when he answered he was a little more thoughtful.
‘Funnily enough I don’t think he has the faintest idea. Certainly he showed no sign when he heard your name, though Browne, even with an e, is fairly common.’
‘Oh.’ Now was the moment to begin to clear up at least a minor deceit. ‘Maybe I can explain that. He would know my...my parents as Martyn-Browne, but when Dad left the army he dropped the first part. He thought it was pretentious and had been tacked on just a generation or so ago. A bit of a relief, really—some of these double-barrelled names can be quite a mouthful.’ Her smile was tentative, apologetic, even. ‘Can you imagine, “Virginia Martyn-Browne”?’
‘Ah.’ He looked steadily down at her for what seemed a long time. ‘And what other secrets have you been hiding from me, Miss Martyn-Browne?’
For a moment her heart seemed to stand still, then it was racing hectically. But, with an effort, she forced herself to answer lightly. ‘So many I don’t know where to begin.’ It was a relief to see him smile, and she felt she could hurry on. ‘But perhaps it was a mistake—first of all coming down here, but, more than that, hiding the real reason for my visit. On reflection, it might have been better to explain at once.’
‘Mmm.’ Jake considered. ‘But that will be resolved this evening, when all the guests have gone and we’re having a family dinner, just the four of us.’
She spoke slowly, sorrowfully, voicing thoughts which had been on her conscience since the early moments of their acquaintance. ‘You know, you are very trusting, Jake. You have only my word that I’m who I say I am, that your father and mine were so very friendly all those years ago. I could be perpetrating the most enormous con trick.’
And I am, she admitted silently. How often in the courts I have seen and heard the lies with which people use and abuse each other, and I feel nothing but disgust. Yet here I am, pursuing a most devious line against the kindest people... Tears began to prick at her eyes.
‘Are you?’ His voice was mellow and amused, a dark slender eyebrow raised in gentle disbelief...
Yes. She wanted to say it, but couldn’t. For the simple reason that the truth was not something she could share with Hugo’s son. If he chose to do so that was a different matter, but it was not her secret. So she managed a false smile. ‘I’m not.’ Stricken with guilt at her deception, she took refuge in some trite advice. ‘But people these days ought not to be so trusting. I might have some dire reason for wishing to infiltrate your family...’
‘I’ll lock my door tonight as a precaution.’ Now his look was teasing but with a hint of a challenge.
‘I promise you are quite, quite safe.’ Her tone was slightly sharp and the eyes raised to his were brilliant with indignation. As well as frustration.
‘You disappoint me.’ She found herself manoeuvred against the bole of one of the ancient oaks, and as he spoke in that low disturbing voice he placed one hand flat against the trunk and hooked the other against her waist, pulling her into the curve of his body, effectively overpowering her.
‘Jake.’ It was a gasp of fear and longing. ‘Jake, don’t.’
And gently, gently, all his attention on her mouth, he lowered his mouth to hers. She willed him to stop, of course she did, and with a quite desperate longing to be free. She saw him, felt him come nearer, felt his breath on her skin, was close enough to confirm the ridiculous length of the lashes which framed his eyes. And she was losing control, could feel it slipping away from her, and was helpless to do anything about it. Her heart was hammering against her ribs, her legs had turned to water—only the strength of his arm stopped her from slipping to the ground.
It didn’t seem possible that what she was engaged in was forbidden, against the laws of nature. Her lips parted to ease her frantic breathing,
adding an air of eager collusion.
But his mouth on hers was unbearably sweet, coaxing and tender one moment, irresistibly fierce and demanding a moment later. Very much as Ginny had, in the past forty-eight hours, imagined it would be. And for the time being all her fears and reservations were submerged in this wash of delicious, sensual indulgence, this opening up, this giving and taking of such mind-blowing pleasure and...
Way at the back of her mind a warning bell sounded. She tried to detach herself—it was wrong, she knew it was and she mustn’t carry on. That was what she had decided and she would not, dare not—even though to resist was torture...
With some firmness and a little protest Ginny put her hands on Jake’s chest, pushing him away, hiding her pain as she extricated herself when he would have detained her. ‘Don’t, Jake.’ The words almost stuck in her throat. ‘Don’t crowd me.’ One contrite glance over her shoulder and she began to move with determination in the direction of the house.
‘I can’t promise that.’ He spoke tersely as he began to walk with her, making no attempt to touch, hands thrust into the pockets of his trousers, and frowning.
It seemed necessary to lighten things. ‘Well, then, maybe I’m the one who ought to lock my door tonight.’
The moment the words were uttered she wished them unsaid. How could she be so crass as to resurrect that touchy subject? How could she, an experienced lawyer, trained to be clear-headed and single-minded, be so provocative? But even as she asked the question she knew the answer. On the one hand she was rejecting him, on the other it was impossible for her to deny her intense attraction, to pretend this illicit hunger did not exist...
‘Maybe you should at that...’ Now there was a distinct note of edgy frustration. ‘Except—’ And he broke off.
‘Except?’ she prompted, curious.
‘Except as a rule I agree with you.’ His good humour was at least partly restored. ‘I rather agree these things are best taken at a leisurely pace—enjoyed, savoured without being rushed.’ They were emerging from the wood and onto the lawn which surrounded the house. He turned, and took her by the shoulders, ‘For, you see, I feel we have time, you and I, to get to know each other.’
‘Jake.’ Surely he would recognise the sound of naked fear in her voice, see it in the emotion-drenched eyes which looked up with such appeal? How could she warn him without being explicit, without wrecking his family? How could she warn herself, for heaven’s sake? Help me, Jake! Help me, please!
‘What is it, Ginny?’ Yes, thank God, his senses were tuned to hers: He’d latched on at once, eyes narrowing as they searched her face. ‘Are you trying to tell me you’re in a relationship with someone else?’
‘Jake...’ Her eyes were stinging as she turned away. ‘Just don’t make a big thing.’ Feverishly she tried to deal with her jumbled thoughts and feelings. ‘You know I’m twenty-six years old—it would be strange if I hadn’t been...wasn’t...’
‘Are you?’ His manner was uncompromising. ‘All you have to do is say yes or no.’
‘Not exactly, but—’
‘Not exactly? What the devil does that mean? It’s the sort of answer any half-decent attorney would happily trash.’
‘Jake.’ She was determined to be light-hearted, impossible to provoke. That might be the best diversion. ‘I’m not in the habit of discussing my personal life with anyone, especially with someone who is...’ The look on his face made her tremble, it was an effort to go on. ‘Well, who is almost a stranger.’
‘But you know, don’t you?’ Now he was firm, courteous, and she had the ghastly feeling that he was disappointed at the need to explain. ‘We never were strangers, you and I, not from that first moment you appeared in my office in New York.’
‘Well...’ How could anyone deny such a statement? It would have been a contradiction of life itself and yet, to this one man especially, it would be folly to make such an admission. ‘Well, of course, Jake, you must know you are a very attractive man.’ The remark caused instant displeasure, apparent in the narrowed eyes, the tightened jaw. ‘It would be strange if I hadn’t found you easy to talk with.’
‘Don’t patronise me, damn you.’
‘What do you want me to say?’ With nerves nearly at breaking point, her temper flared before she could control it. ‘Don’t be corny?’ she almost sneered. ‘Would you have preferred that? Anyway—’ she bit her lip, ashamed of her outburst ‘—I certainly did not mean to patronise you.’
Now was a time for total detachment, and her profession had taught her something of that. Her manner became consciously friendly yet uninvolved—she had dealt with dozens of clients in the self-same manner.
‘Oh, and Jake?’ She resumed her stroll towards the house. ‘You know I told you what a shock it was to find out about the ruby wedding? Would it be possible, do you think, to arrange transport to take me into town? I would like to buy your parents a small memento before I leave.’
‘Their instructions to all their friends were that presents were unnecessary, but I know how you feel. So long as you decide to keep it small.’ He kicked moodily at a tussock of grass. ‘But you know they’ll be leaving in the morning, so...’
‘So soon? I’d forgotten. Then...’ It was becoming increasingly difficult for her to control her agitation but it was essential to let him know there were some decisions she would make for herself. She must not weaken—if she allowed him to control her then soon all her scruples, all her integrity, would be swept aside.
At least her voice came out firm and composed. ‘If we do go into town perhaps I can do something about booking a flight back to New York.’
‘I had no idea you were in such a hurry to leave.’ Sarcasm now, to add to her trials.
The disapproval which she had deliberately fostered was hard to bear. ‘Well, I cannot impose on your parents. There’s no reason why they should have an unexpected guest thrust upon them to complicate their holiday plans.’
‘No reason, except that I invited you. And, as far as booking a flight back goes, I brought you down and I have every intention of taking you back again.’
Her conscience assailed her; she was seeming so ungracious, ‘Well, it’s so much more comfortable in a private plane, where you can sit and chat with the pilot...’
Ignoring her more conciliatory tone, he returned to the earlier point she had made. ‘Besides, you are the daughter of a long-lost friend of the family.’
‘Wh-what?’ Something in the way he spoke set off the alarm bells, made her heart bound in agitation, her mind veering inevitably to the package in the bottom of her suitcase——heavily taped, admittedly, but with the potentially destructive power of Semtex as far as this family was concerned. With an effort she controlled her wildly active imagination. ‘What do you mean, Jake?’
‘I mean...’ His eyes were searching, a tiny frown signalling some kind of curiosity which had been absent a moment earlier. ‘Simply that my parents are Virginians—kind, hospitable people who enjoy nothing more than entertaining friends.’
She was ashamed. How could she have come here in such an underhand way, deceiving people who were prepared to trust her? It wasn’t what she had planned, so how had things gone so wrong? But they had, and at that moment she had to deal with the situation.
‘I know that, Jake.’ Her regret was audible. ‘I felt it from the first moment.’ And from that first moment her misgivings had multiplied. Oh, to be able to walk away and leave all their lives intact. ‘But I must get back to London. I planned only a few days’ leave, and...’
‘I doubt if they will hold you to that.’
‘Perhaps not, but...’
‘Anyway, I’m still waiting for an answer to that original query. It is important to me, you know.’
‘And the question?’ Heat flushed her face at such pretence.
He had changed tactics—now he was light and teasing, which was much more difficult to resist. ‘The question was, are you married?’
‘I tho
ught you had decided that the other night—you know I’m not.’ It was a relief to be honest.
‘Engaged?’
‘No.’ Another easy one. ‘I’m not.’
‘Or...in a regular relationship?’
‘Well...’ Time now for evasion. ‘I suppose that would depend on what you mean by...’
‘You know what I’m asking you, Ginny.’
‘Yes, I know.’
‘And your answer?’
‘Not exactly.’
‘Well.’ He was smiling down at her as if she had confessed undying passion for him. ‘This time I shall take that as a negative.’ His voice was lazy and tender, so irresistible in its mellow cadences that she lost the will to argue. ‘And that’s all right.’
He brushed a wisp of hair back from her face and linked his fingers in hers as they turned to mount the steps of the terrace. It was the sort of gentle contact which was totally unthreatening; it was his words which were so striking.
For she knew it was not all right. Far from that, she was convinced her life would never again be described in those comfortable, casual terms.
CHAPTER THREE
DINNER that night, which Ginny had rather dreaded, and expected to be fraught and awkward, turned out, in the event, to be relaxed and light-hearted once she had decided to ignore the sensation of dropping earthwards in a lift and try to forget her reason for being here. In short, to act as she would at any normal dinner party with people she didn’t know all that well.
Except for Jake, that was. Sitting opposite him, it was impossible for her to argue with his earlier statement that they might have known each other for ever. So fervent was her agreement that she could hardly contemplate what would happen when all contact was severed and she returned to London. But in the meantime, she exerted herself to be the interested and interesting guest—a role she could fill easily.
Although it was inevitable that the conversation was concerned mainly with the day’s celebrations, with little snippets of gossip about the guests, she was able to play her part well, with one or two amusing anecdotes about her work.
A Reckless Affair Page 4