Elliot squinted at him. “You know about the demon? Right. Laurent. Time travel.” He grabbed his head and rocked it in his hands. “He disappeared once we drove past the gate, so that’s possible. I’m so tired, Knight. He talks so much I keep getting headaches. He barely lets me sleep.”
“He’s gone now. Relax.”
Elliot went silent and looked out the window. In the street lights they passed, Knight could clearly see the puffy bags under Elliot’s eyes. “He never wanted me. He only got me by accident. I don’t blame him for wanting you instead.”
“What does that even mean?” Knight asked, squeezing his hands on the wheel. “I mean... I guess it would have been easier to hurt people with my body.”
“Or seduce them. He’s boasted how men used to fall over themselves to get a piece of him. I don’t know what I was thinking. I just thought… he promised it would be the two of us, and I was so upset after… whatever it was that you and I had.” Elliot sighed deeply and rubbed his already reddened eyes. “I need to have realistic expectations.”
Knight swallowed hard and briefly looked at Elliot. With most people celebrating the New Year, the road was deserted, and as they drove through the dark woods toward the distant lights of nearby Brecon, the lead armor was back around his chest.
“I could have handled it better. I guess I didn’t see... you were in so deep.”
Elliot shook his head. “It’s my fault. I always get in too deep. Too deep into Martin, too deep into William Fane, and too deep into you. The difference is that you were actually... nice to me. Maybe if I hadn’t had that time with you, William would have still seemed attractive. I want too much, and I always get burned.”
Knight swallowed hard, his hand itching to grab Elliot’s, but it didn’t feel right after the way they split. “You can have someone much better than William Fane. Once we get him out of you somehow, it’s gonna be fine.”
Elliot nodded even though he didn’t seem particularly convinced. His mouth—usually so lively and generous with smiles—was now limp and lifeless, the eyes that hypnotized Knight whenever he looked into them were pools of old blood instead of dark chocolate. Even Elliot’s body seemed to have shrunken somehow, as if in preparation for a blow that could come at any moment. Seeing him so deflated only added to the ache in Knight’s gut.
Elliot sighed. “I’m sorry about the blood thing too. I meant to never tell you, but with the shit that went down tonight, I had to come clean.”
Knight laughed, even though joy was the last thing he felt. “Well, on the upside, I didn’t fuck my cousin.”
Elliot groaned and bumped his head against the glass. “There’s that. Where are we going?”
“My mom’s. She has some explaining to do,” Knight said, grinning again. His face was moving between scowls and smiles, but what was he to do? Cry?
He never cried.
“And then? My trailer? I’d need you to bring me my shit tomorrow.”
“You’re not staying in that crappy trailer. Over my dead body,” hissed Knight. “I’m not gonna let a Mercier live in such conditions.”
“I deserve it for all the trouble I’ve put you through. You don’t owe me anything, Knight. It’s me who has a debt as deep as the Mariana Trench.”
Knight frowned at him, and the sheer helplessness in Elliot’s expression made his heart ache. “What are you talking about? We’ve had so much fun together from the get-go. Even when you were still performing as that prissy bitch The Count. You said you didn’t know you were putting me in danger, and I believe you,” he said firmly.
Elliot glanced back at him with a little smile that made his reddened gaze shine so sweetly it gave Knight heartache. “Thanks. It means a lot to me.”
Knight licked his lips, staring into the dark eyes which were so much like Laurent’s—he could see that now—yet shone with a vulnerability that tugged at something deep inside him. Suddenly overwhelmed by the flood of heat to his face, Knight cleared his throat. “So, yeah. I’m carrying tattoos related to your ancestors. I guess I could use them to teach you some more of your history,” he said, once again fighting through the tightness growing in his throat.
He was a grown man, and he would not make a fuss just because it turned out his mom cheated on his dad. It didn’t matter that much. Only that the past was the only thing he could be proud of growing up. Between his deadbeat parents and the constant misery of not having money for necessities, the glorious past of the Merciers was the only thing that had Knight feeling special. The one thing that elevated him from being trailer trash.
“I don’t even know who my mom is, and my dad was no Mercier. I’m a nobody from nowhere, no matter what my bloodline is.”
“Bullshit. You have amazing history. Your ancestor is famous for stopping a serial killer. And then your great-great-grandmother was a major figure in women’s suffrage. There are so many people you need to know about. If I’m not gonna have this, then you will. I dedicated my entire fucking life to the Merciers, and this little thing’s not gonna stop me.” He tried to smile but failed spectacularly as his eyes started rapidly stinging. So he closed them, very briefly, because there were no cars around anyway.
Elliot’s fingers were warm as they stroked Knight’s arm in a way that wasn’t about anything sexual. He was just there to listen and talk, despite all the macabre things he’d gone through tonight. “I guess I will have to learn all about it then. And I can’t laugh at the Merciers anymore if I am one.”
“We’ll change your name. If you’re a Mercier, everyone should know.”
“Elliot Mercier. I like that.” Even the bruise on his face couldn’t make his growing smile any less pretty.
Knight’s heart felt somewhat lighter.
They could already see the familiar gate of the extensive trailer park where both Elliot and Knight’s family lived. Knight hit the brakes and drove in very slowly, because some of the inhabitants celebrated outside, gathering by a large bonfire that cast a warm glow at the piles of snow.
Knight slowed down when he spotted his half-sister by the fire. She pointed toward Mom’s trailer and shook her head, but he gave her a sign that it would be fine and drove on, all the way toward the large lump of steel and wood where he’d spent the worst years of his life. There was light coming through the old-fashioned curtains with an ugly flower print, which meant Mom was in, since he knew all his siblings had plans for the night.
“Are we picking up some of my stuff?” Elliot asked, clearly confused by Knight’s parking choice.
It was time to be honest, no matter how much embarrassment Knight felt at the truth. He gestured at the trailer. “That’s where I’m from. I was able to come so fast when Martin attacked you because I was at my mom’s.”
Elliot stared, blinking a few times. “You’re from Stone Grove?”
Knight shrugged. There was no keeping it hidden anymore. All his life he tried to leave the past behind, but it was close to impossible with a large family here. And unlike many other families who lived in Stone Grove—not too well-off but decent—his dad was a raging alcoholic, who was currently imprisoned for assaulting a group of young teens, and his mother wasn’t much better. “I was away as often as I could. We do have five years between us, and none of my siblings shares my surname. I’m not surprised you didn’t put two and two together.”
“I never liked this place much either, but it is what it is.”
“Yeah,” Knight agreed and forced himself to leave the vehicle. The sounds of music and laughter coming from inside the trailer already overpowered the noise outside.
Elliot’s footsteps followed close by. “I’d hate to be a burden to her, Knight…”
“It’s her who’s a burden to my brothers and sisters. And to me,” Knight said and knocked loudly enough to upset the string of laughter inside the trailer.
Someone stumbled inside, and after a few moments the door opened, revealing Knight’s mother along with a whiff of liquor coming from the livin
g room. She looked far worse than at Christmas, although maybe it was due to the nature of tonight’s holiday. The pink lipstick had partially worn off, and so had the mascara, some of which crumbled, creating dark circles under her eyes. Despite the cold weather she wore a tank top and hipster jeans, which revealed her unnaturally thin body.
“Travis! Sweetie!” she rasped and hugged him but then backed off into the door again. “Are you here for the party? The bonfire’s over there.”
“Hey, Brenda! Who’s there?” called out a male voice, followed by yet another, and Knight groaned, understanding why his sister advised him against visiting their mother tonight.
“My big boy Travis is here. You know, the biker,” she called back, slurring slightly.
“Tell him his mother needs some fun on New Year’s too,” called out the second man, laughing loudly.
Knight squeezed his hands into fists. He’d kind of hoped Elliot would not see this kind of thing. “Bad time?” he asked.
Mom pouted and shook her head. “Not the best, sweetie. Come over tomorrow?”
“Do you have five minutes before the three of you start swapping fluids?” he snapped.
“Oh, Travis…” She frowned and covered her cheek as if she had any modesty left. “Fine, but let’s step outside.” She went down the two steps into the freezing cold and pulled out a cigarette from somewhere inside her tank top. “That your friend? Brenda,” she squeezed Elliot’s hand as he mumbled his name.
Knight rubbed his eyes. There was no point in prolonging this agony. “Is my dad really my dad?”
Mom’s eyes went wider, and she lit herself the cigarette. The warm light coming from the inside of her home only deepened the wrinkles on her prematurely aged face. “Honey… that’s some heavy shit. Where’s this coming from?”
There it was. She wasn’t even denying it.
“I just want an answer, okay? You don’t know the fathers of most of your kids. Do you know mine?” he asked, pushing his hands into his pockets.
A multicolored firework exploded above them like the antithesis of Knight’s emotional state. He was more of a black hole.
Mom took a long drag of smoke and wouldn’t look at him. “I’m not sure baby. It was a long time ago, and you liked all that stuff about Ray’s family so much, I couldn’t break it to you. It’s not like it matters, it’s Ray who brought you up, right?”
Knight raised his arms and hissed through his teeth. He pulled off his jacket and exposed all the Mercier names on his forearm. “Doesn’t matter? I carry this man’s past on my fucking skin! And you didn’t bother to tell me? He was a fucking useless human being. He beat you black and blue and did nothing with his life!”
She spread her arms in frustration. “What do you want me to do about it, Travis? That’s why I divorced him and didn’t even keep his name! You were still a baby, and he was already fucking some slut from 209. So I dumped his ass in the end, even though I still loved him!”
Knight groaned and crossed his arms on his chest, unable to keep still. “Twenty-nine years. You just let me believe it.”
Her eyes watered as she smoked with even more dedication, and he hated her for those tears, because he was powerless against them. “You were so happy with that stuff…”
Knight gave up and let his shoulders slouch. What else was there to say? “So you have no idea who it was that you got pregnant by?”
Mom grabbed his hand and shook her head with the most miserable of expressions. “Sorry, baby. I don’t want to make something up, since it means so much to you.”
Knight pulled her in for a hug and closed his eyes, feeling guilty over confronting her, even if he had the right to be angry. “Those guys inside, are they okay? Can I leave you with them?”
She hugged him back and dropped the cigarette into the snow. “They’re good guys, honey. Don’t worry about me.”
He sighed and pulled back, feeling somewhat lighter. “Happy New Year, Mom.”
“You too, baby. Is there anything more you needed?”
Knight looked over his shoulder, at Elliot, who leaned against the car to give them as much privacy as possible under the circumstances. He’d come here to leave Elliot at his mother’s, but he didn’t want him to listen to a drunken threesome or risk one of the men getting homophobic all of a sudden. And Elliot’s own trailer wouldn’t do either. With none of them knowing the real extent of Fane’s power, nowhere was safe without Knight to guard Elliot.
“No. I just wanted to know that. Have fun tonight.”
Mom gave him one more hug and a tobacco-scented kiss on the cheek before saying her goodbyes and going back inside.
When Knight turned around, Elliot was hugging himself in an attempt to stop shivering. Only then did Knight realize they hadn’t taken his jacket.
Elliot gave Knight a questioning look. “Not possible for me to stay?”
Knight shrugged. “Nah. No fucking way. We’re going home,” he said and opened the passenger door for Elliot.
The hesitation was shortlived, and Elliot sat in the car. “Won’t Laurent be in danger if I’m there? Won’t Beast… kill me?” he asked as soon as Knight was in as well.
“I’ll sort it out. And for the record—I’m not a bigot,” Knight said, wanting to make things clear.
Elliot’s eyebrows went up. “Huh?”
Knight groaned and tapped the steering wheel. “She’s an adult. She can fuck around and have threesomes. You know I support girls doing whatever they want with their bodies, right? But you got to be responsible. You got to use condoms and stop boozing when you’re pregnant. I mean, is that too much to ask?”
“Oh. I… no. I get it. I wasn’t thinking that. Maybe I was never responsible myself. Then again, I was never with a girl, so… yeah.” His eyes were slightly unfocused as he looked through the front window at the bonfire.
Knight swallowed, watching him. “Don’t worry. It will be fine. I promise.”
“I hope, I just… Your mom mentioned my trailer. What if it was my mom your… stepdad was sleeping with and that’s how I have Mercier blood? It’s probably why my dad hated me so much. He must have known I wasn’t his.”
Knight let go of the wheel and sat back, whistling out all the air in his lungs. “Well, fuck. We are almost brothers then. Almost.”
Elliot laughed nervously. “It’s probably for the better then that we’re not sleeping together anymore.”
*
It was past 2 am when Knight parked the car in the garage. The music booming from the party had become slower, more suitable for just chilling or sex. He listened to its echo for a few moments before texting Beast.
Sadly, as soon as they crossed the borders of the property, Elliot had informed Knight that Fane was back, and it soured both their moods.
It took Beast a while, but he finally appeared, not much less tense than before. When he spotted Elliot though, a muscle on his cheek twitched and Knight knew things could get ugly very soon.
“What part of ‘take him off the premises’ do you not understand? He’s dangerous. He’s possessed by the ghost of a serial killer! I can’t get Laurent to calm down. For him, it’s been only months since that motherfucker put his hands on him!”
Knight kicked the wheel of the pink Corvette. “And that’s why he’ll be safest if Elliot stays in my apartment. I just need to change the code for the door, and he will be practically locked in a safe.”
Beast’s expression became like carved out of stone. “If he’s to stay here, Knight, you will be with him 24/7. And I mean it. He doesn’t piss without you there. But I admit I’m disappointed in you. You can’t seem to be reasonable when it comes to him. He’s not a patch, and he’s not family. If you’re sure you want to extend protection to him, you will give up your VP patch here and now.”
Knight’s feet grew roots into the concrete floor, and he had to briefly look away from the punishing gaze of his friend. But there was no denying that Beast was right about this. For the past few weeks
Knight was constantly letting him down and even hiding things from him. They were closest friends, but that didn’t mean Knight should get special treatment within the club hierarchy.
“I’ve fucked up hard, haven’t I?”
Beast took a deep breath that told Knight just how tired he was. “You have. I love you like a brother, but I can’t have this insubordination go on. It’s your choice, Knight. We can pay for a motel for him. But if you’re bringing him back here after I’ve explicitly told you to take him away, give up the patch, because I can’t have a VP like you.”
Elliot took a step closer and tugged on Knight’s jacket. “It’s okay, Knight. I can go.”
Knight’s stomach curled, but he pulled out his knife and slowly cut the threads that fastened the Vice President patch to his cut. It hurt like removing a tooth, but he still felt like giving it up was the right thing to do, and not only because of Elliot. “I don’t deserve this honor yet, and we both know it. It’s my fault Fane’s ghost appeared, and then I didn’t tell you about it because I knew you’d be fucking livid. Rightfully so. I’m sorry,” he said and handed over the patch.
Beast took the patch with a scowl, and seeing him upset was even worse than seeing his earlier anger. In this moment Knight knew he’d do anything to earn that patch back, and Beast’s trust along with it.
“Twenty-four-fucking-seven,” Beast said, looking between Elliot and Knight once more, but then walked off without another word.
Chapter 23
Entering the clubhouse again at Knight’s side felt different. Even with Fane by their side, hissing and complaining, Knight’s company was soothing. An ever-present safety net. Knight wouldn’t abandon him at the trailer park, wouldn’t abandon him at the cost of a fight with Beast, and didn’t abandon him even when it meant he’d lose his position within the hierarchy of the club.
No matter how horrible that was, it made Elliot feel special. Like he meant something despite all his flaws and bad decisions. Knight had already told him a lot about the Merciers, but now that Elliot had found out he was a part of it all, Knight told him even more obscure stories on the way home. Elliot loved every single one.
My Dark Knight (gay biker romance) (Kings of Hell MC Book 2) Page 28