Sweetest Heartbreak (Sweetness Book 1)

by Heather Bentley

  With a smile laced with heartbreak, a reminder of who I am to her now, she brushes her cheek against mine and brings her lips to my ear.

  “I’ve already forgiven you, Heath. You just need to forgive yourself now.” She places a soft kiss on my jaw before stepping out of my hold. The tightness in her face has disappeared, and a sense of peace has taken over as she turns and walks back into the reception.

  Leah

  One foot in front of the other. Keep going. You’re almost there.

  A large exhale of air leaves my chest when I make it to the ladies’ room, before quickly locking the stall door and slumping back against it. I shouldn’t have done that. I shouldn’t have pushed my feelings on Heath. But, the way we were dancing, how it brought me right back to our nights when I was in his arms, I thought for sure he was feeling what I was feeling. But, if there’s anything I’ve learned, I can’t control how anyone else acts. And he’s acting like a man buried in guilt. I’ve worked so hard and come so far, but what good is that if he can’t move forward as well?

  I can still feel his chest against mine and how his muscles tensed when I wrapped my arms around him. He felt lean and strong, more so than I remember, and I wanted so badly for that moment to mean something other than what it really was. A final good-bye to what we once had been.

  It hurts more than I can say that he didn’t feel the loss that I did, that we should be the ones in the wedding gown and tuxedo. But at least we’re at a place where we can be friends. Because Eli will always be a part of our lives, the one constant thread keeping us connected.

  At the sink, I clean up my smudged makeup and square my shoulders before heading back out to the reception to find my mom. She spots me at the same time I spot her. I must not be hiding my emotions as well as I thought because she takes one look at me and excuses herself from her conversation.

  She places a hand on my cheek, scanning my face for any clues. “Leah, everything okay, honey?”

  “It will be,” I answer honestly. “Heath and I talked.”

  “And how are you feeling?” she asks.

  “Pretty great, actually.” A warm sense of relief washes over me as the truth of those words fully resonate. I feel like I hiked through a never-ending forest full of bristles and pines, and after countless scrapes and bruises, I finally made it through to the other side.

  “There you are, Lee.” Connor appears between Mom and me. “I want a dance with my two favorite ladies!”

  He puts his elbows out to the sides, waiting for us to latch on. We do so with full smiles on our faces and head out to the crowded dance floor. The three of us let go without a care in the world, bopping our hips together and waving our hands in the air. We dance all through this song and the next, each of us knowing Dad is looking down on us and enjoying the show. Connor eventually leaves us to grab a drink at the bar with Eli’s sisters while Mom and I wave and continue to wiggle and shake.

  We’re just about to head to the bar when the first few beats of the next song pump through the room, causing us both to break out into full-blown belly laughs and rush back to our spots. There’s no way we’re sitting out on a Pat Benatar song.

  I’m giving him two more minutes, and then I’m leaving.

  I take a sip of my hot tea and watch the door. At least, it was hot twenty minutes ago when he was supposed to be here. Too bad. I’ve been wondering what this guy’s story is. Maybe he knits sweaters from cat hair or collects life-size blow-up dolls.

  “Are you Leah?”

  I turn to the voice and look him over before answering. He’s fairly tall, maybe six feet, and clean-cut with dirty-blond hair and brown eyes that angle downward just enough to give him that sweet puppy-dog look. He’s wearing a white oxford shirt under a turquoise V-neck sweater and dark jeans.

  Deciding he doesn’t look like a serial killer, I extend my hand. “Hi, you must be Campbell.”

  His smile is broad as he shakes my hand and takes the seat across from me.

  “I’m sorry I’m late. We had an emergency patient come in, and it was a little more complicated than we had expected.”

  “Emergency? Oh my gosh, of course. I hope they’re doing okay.”

  “Yeah, we got the toy out, and as long as there’s no infection, he should recover completely.”

  “A child swallowed a toy? That’s terrible!”

  His smile is shy. “No, I’m not a doctor. I’m actually a resident in veterinary school. A family brought their golden retriever puppy in after he swallowed their kid’s foam ball, and the head vet and I had to do emergency surgery on the little guy. I’m sorry. I thought you knew I was studying to be a vet. It’s in my bio.”

  “I must have missed it. Honestly, it seems like most people lie on their profiles anyway, so I don’t do much more than glance at them. It’s not like someone is actually going to admit to being an ax murderer or a clown collector.”

  He laughs, and I can’t help but think how nice a laugh it is. It’s not deep and harsh or annoying and barky. It’s the kind of laugh that makes you want to join in.

  When he steps away to grab his coffee order, I hide my phone under the table and sneak a text to Eli with a thumbs-up emoji. Anything else, and he would have been ready to converge on the coffee shop and pretend to be my estranged husband, begging me to take him back, while Lindsey barged in behind him with a pillow under her top, hitting Eli over the head with her purse and shouting at him for leaving her pregnant and barefoot. I’m a little disappointed that didn’t get to play out, but if the first two minutes are anything to go on, this might actually be the first promising date I’ve had since I joined the dating site.

  I get an immediate response from Eli and laugh to myself when I see it’s a long line of emojis in response. Everything from clapping hands to party horns and red hearts.

  Campbell comes back, coffee in hand, and we spend the next hour talking.

  He earned a degree in art, but after he graduated and couldn’t find a job, he started working part-time at a vet’s office. He liked it so much, and they liked him just as well, so much so that they’ve supported him through vet school. He’s due to graduate, and will be taking all the licensing exams in a few months. He’s also six years older than me, something else I should have taken note of on his bio. Not that it matters, but the longer we talk, I definitely get the sense that a relationship and marriage are where his head is at.

  We leave the coffee shop and go our separate ways. Campbell waits all of an hour to call and ask me out on an official date. I can’t hide the smile in my voice when I say yes to dinner this Saturday.

  “This is a big moment, Lee. We need to celebrate,” Eli shouts. “It’s the first time anyone has been awarded the rare and coveted second date.”

  I lean over and jokingly punch him in the arm as he sits at the other end of the sofa. “You’re an ass.”

  “What did Eli do now?” Lindsey asks as she enters their family room and sees Eli rubbing his arm.

  “Nothing. He’s giving me a hard time about my date with Campbell.”

  “You mean, Soup Boy,” he says, fighting a smile. “You know, like Campbell Soup?”

  I roll my eyes. “Yes, I get it. And, no, you will not be calling him Soup Boy. Understood?”

  When he doesn’t answer immediately, Lindsey gives him a teasing smack to his head as I deliver my death glare.

  He flinches and rubs at his head. “Fine. I won’t call him Soup Boy,” he whines.

  “Who aren’t we calling Soup Boy?” Heath asks, wearing a smile, as he enters the room.

  My stomach doesn’t hesitate to drop at the imminent awkwardness.

  “Leah’s new boyfriend. His name is Campbell, and I’m not allowed to call him Soup Boy. Can you believe how mean she is to me?”

  Heath’s face falls when Eli uses the word boyfriend.

  We were going to have to get past this at some point. I just wasn’t ready for it to be today.

  “Campbell? Really, Leah? You�
�re making it too easy for us with that one.” Heath throws me a wink as he pulls a drink from the fridge.

  My spine relaxes. He took that better than I could have hoped.

  I’m still getting used to this new us. Ever since the wedding, he’s been treating me differently, like an actual friend—making jokes and talking about everyday random things. It’s nice but weird. Very weird actually. This new friendship is going to take some getting used to. But, if Heath can make an effort, I can, too.

  “You guys are terrible,” I say as I throw a pretzel at Eli.

  It bounces off his head and onto his lap. He picks it up and eats it, grinning smugly.

  “Leah, look at any good houses lately?” Lindsey asks.

  “Nothing, unfortunately. Everything is over my budget or requires so much work, I can’t afford the renovations. But my realtor just emailed me this morning about a listing that’s coming on the market this Saturday. Want to come check it out with me?”

  “I can’t. Eli and I have plans with my parents.”

  “I’ll go with you.” Heath says from the kitchen.

  “You want to look at a house with me?” I fail at hiding my genuine surprise.

  “Sure. Why not? You did it for me. I’ll be returning the favor.” He shrugs casually.

  “Okay, if you’re sure. Just be prepared, this isn’t like when we looked at condos. Anything I can afford isn’t exactly in move-in condition.”

  He lifts his drink in the air, as if delivering an oath. “Well, consider it my job to help you see the possibilities.”

  “All right, then. I’ll get you the address.”

  Without warning, Lindsey jumps from her spot and hustles to the powder room, as if her life depended on it. When we hear retching echoing off the walls of the small room, we all move swiftly.

  Eli gets to her first, kneeling beside her and brushing her hair back away from her face as she continues to heave. I get a cup of water and a dampened washcloth ready to go. When she sits back on her heels and looks up, she’s pale and sweaty.

  Eli takes the washcloth from me and wipes her face. “That came out of nowhere. You good now?”

  She nods as he helps her stand, and she takes the water, rinsing her mouth out in the sink. Heath and I back out into the hallway, and all three of us continue to closely monitor her.

  Eli is feeling her forehead, her neck, her hands—anything to try to get a gauge on her sudden sickness. “Let’s get you to the sofa. Do you think it’s something you ate?”

  She shakes him off.

  “Do you need some tea? Crackers? A blanket?” He continues.

  She looks up at him, still pale but now smiling. “I think . . . I think I need a pregnancy test.”

  Heath

  Holy shit, Eli’s going to be a dad.

  “Congrats, man. That’s awesome.”

  “Take another test. Leah, go back to the store. We need more tests.” Eli pulls on his hair as he rocks back and forth on the sofa.

  My initial surprise is wearing off, but his is going to take a bit longer. Am I a shitty friend if I start recording this?

  “Eli, three was enough. And each one said the same. Congrats, Daddy!” Leah hugs him, but he doesn’t hug her back.

  He’s in total shock, and he’s managed to look paler than Lindsey did not long ago in the bathroom.

  Leah’s doing this cute little dance, swinging her hips, and singing, “We’re having a baby,” over and over again.

  But I don’t care about the words. Her smile and genuine giddiness over the news is all I can focus on. Whatever happened in Chicago seems to be behind her. This new guy probably has something to do with it as well.

  She continues to move around the room until she makes her way back to Eli and Lindsey. Eli stares blankly as Leah and Lindsey hug tightly. Lindsey only lasts a minute before a new wave of nausea hits, and she takes a seat next to Eli.

  Since he’s still lost in his own thoughts, I have to smack him on the shoulder and look to Lindsey. It only takes him a second to come out of the fog and pull her onto his lap, rubbing her back and whispering in her ear.

  I suddenly feel like I’m intruding on their private moment. When I look at Leah, a shadow of sadness takes over where excitement just was.

  I step into her space and whisper, “Want to grab a coffee?”

  “Sure.” She moves in to give our friends a quick hug as I wait for her at the door.

  As the door closes behind us, I ask, “So, the place on the corner?”

  “Oh, you were serious? I thought you were just looking for an excuse to give them some privacy.”

  “I was. But, if you’ve got something going on”—with Chicken Noodle Soup Boy—“then we can just meet up on Saturday.”

  When I say Saturday, it’s like a bell has gone off. She had already forgotten.

  “Yeah, can we just meet up Saturday? Do you mind?”

  “Not at all. Just text me if you still want me to tag along. If not, no big deal. Really.”

  “Okay, thanks.” She raises her hand in a short good-bye before getting in her car and pulling away.

  Well, so much for that. But what did I expect? I put her on the spot, and she’s too nice to say no. Besides, why would she want to spend time with me when she can spend it with Cream of Celery?

  It’s Friday night, and I’m doing some work from home, two laptops running in front of me, but I’m unable to focus. I haven’t heard from Leah about the house tomorrow, so it looks like another weekend of hanging out at my dad’s.

  I start searching for houses and what I think Leah’s price range might be. She’s right; for the area she wants, there are only a few options, and even those are so bad, they’ll probably be sold for the land.

  As I scroll through listings, I come across one that resembles Leah’s mom’s house but larger. Same Cape Cod style, but this one has a full wraparound porch and what could possibly be a third level. It’s on half an acre, and from the photos, it looks recently updated.

  She’d love this.

  Then, I see the price, easily four times what I’m guessing she can spend.

  I flip through the photos, inspecting every room. This isn’t just a house. It’s a home—meant for kids, dogs, barbeques, family. Kind of like the house I grew up in. I may not have siblings, but, growing up, our house was always busy with family parties and Saturday night sleepovers. Everything Eli and Lindsey have ahead of them.

  It comes at me like a braided rush of fear, anxiety, and hope. For the first time in my life, the thought of being tied to someone and everything that goes along with that—babies, bills, holidays, weddings, funerals—doesn’t scare the shit out of me the way it used to. In fact, watching them as they rode alternating waves of fear and excitement, that all they could do was hold each other, just spotlights that growing, burrowing feeling. There is a hole in my life. A hole I’ve been unable to fill since I lost Leah.

  As if she knows what I’m thinking, my phone buzzes next to me with a text. It’s from Leah.

  First house is at 9 a.m. Meet me at my mom’s by 8:45.

  I respond.

  I’ll bring the lattes.

  Seconds later, my phone vibrates.

  Deal. Wear your hazmat suit. ;)

  I’m at Leah’s mom’s fifteen minutes early.

  I’ve actually been in the neighborhood longer than that, but I know she’s not a morning person. I hung out at the coffee shop as long as I could until I couldn’t take it anymore. This will be the first time we’re out alone since we were an us, and I’ve never been more afraid of screwing something up than I am this day. But I’ve already done the stupidest thing in my life and survived that. Now it’s time to do the hardest thing by being her friend.

  When I knock on the door, lattes in hand, I expect her to answer barely awake in her pajamas. But, instead, she’s dressed in dark skinny jeans and a red-and-white-striped T-shirt. Her hair is up in a long, swirling ponytail, and she’s wearing the gold hoops I gave her when
we first started dating. She’d had a similar pair but lost one. She hadn’t made a big deal of it at the time because she said they were cheap, but I went out the next day and bought her new ones, eighteen karat. This led to an argument over me spending too much money on her, which led to making up on the sofa.

  When I think she’s caught me staring, my arm launches forward with her coffee. “Where’s your mom? I thought I’d say hi.”

  “You know her. Up and out early. She said something about a hair appointment. Apparently, she’s not the only one with a date tonight.” She freezes as realization hits. “I’m sorry, Heath. I—”

  I wave it off. “Don’t worry about it. Really.” Shit. I’ve been fighting the thought of her going out with Bean with Bacon since I heard the dreaded word boyfriend. “Should we get going? We don’t want anyone buying the house out from under you.”

  “Yeah, sure. Actually, my realtor has a few houses for me to look at if you have the time.”

  “Of course. Whatever you need.” I catch a whiff of her perfume. It’s different from what she used to wear. Citrus, maybe? I lean in closer and sniff again.

  Stop it. A friend doesn’t try to smell another friend’s perfume. Or check out her legs in those jeans. Or notice her tight . . . Be a good friend. Be. A. Good. Friend.

  I force my eyes away and lead us to my car.

  “What is that smell?” she whispers, adorably, since there’s no one around to hear us.

  We each have our hands over our face, as if that will actually clear away the stench. It’s not working.

  “Probably just some old food left behind,” I answer. My damn luck it’ll be a body.

  The smell grows stronger as we stop at the beginning of the hallway, our mouths pinched tight waiting for the other to chicken out. But curiosity gets the best of us, and we continue on toward the source.

  “Breathe through your mouth,” I offer. She nods in appreciation before pinching her nose and following me into the hall.