Until now.
But it didn’t matter, because one indelible fact had to be taken into consideration. “I’m cursed, Jay. So you can’t like me—not like that at least.”
He rolled his eyes as he groaned. “You’re not cursed. You gotta stop telling yourself that story because you’re making it a self-fulfilling prophecy.”
“Yeah, but…” She looked down at her lap. She wanted to believe Jay, but her mom and aunt were proving the curse to be true by constantly chasing men who always broke their hearts.
“Listen, Sonja,” he said in a jarring manner.
She looked up. “Yeah?”
Sonja crossed and uncrossed her arms after he scooted so close that she could feel the warmth of his energy washing over her. She could also smell the sweet citrus scent of his breath.
“Haven’t you ever wanted to kiss me or something?” he asked.
Her head was spinning. “I don’t know,” she whispered then swallowed to moisten her dry throat.
“Why not?”
Sonja knew the answer, but it was too complex to not sound like a nerd. So she dropped her head and stared at her tingling thighs.
“Come on, tell me,” Jay urged, proving he knew her all too well.
She lifted her head and stared into his eyes. “Well…” She closed her eyes, trying to find the right words. “Your girlfriends never last long, and I want to know you forever.”
Jay leaned away as if what she’d said stung a little. Sonja instantly kicked herself for being honest.
“Can we kiss and see?” he asked.
She didn’t have to ask him to clarify. Sonja knew what Jay wanted to “see.” And perhaps she wanted to know too. If they kissed, would she like it? Things were happening to her body in that very moment that she had certainly felt before—like the time she had been locked in the closet for five minutes with Cory Lake and he kissed and licked her neck and rubbed her crotch the whole time. Her panties had been dripping wet and she’d wondered how and why that had happened.
Sonja’s lips were parted and she was speechless.
“Can we?” Jay asked.
She felt her head bobbing lightly above her shoulders. And then his lips were getting closer and closer to hers. They touched. Their tongues connected. Sonja closed her eyes as desire exploded through her body. She had never kissed anyone like that before, but instinctively she knew how to partake.
Soon Jay was on top of her, grinding her with the solidness between his legs. With each thrust and rub, Sonja felt sensations so pleasurable that she had to open her eyes to make sure it was actually happening. Jay sucked on her neck as he moaned and rubbed himself against her. Oh, the emotions racing through her—desire, excitement, pleasure, and lust.
Then his fingers touched her down there. Back and forth they stimulated the sensitive area. The impact was immediate. Their dazed eyes connected. What was he doing to her? Her hips, having a mind of their own, gravitated away then back toward his fingers. She shook and moaned, trying not to make too much noise. And then something happened. Sonja pushed the back of her head into the pillow and softly whimpered as the ultimate feeling spread through her young lady parts. And then Jay’s lips were on hers and his tongue in her mouth.
In the afterglow of the strange but pleasurable sensations, she and Jay stared into each other’s eyes. A line had been crossed, and there was no going back.
Abruptly he sat up and closed his mouth. “I have to go.” He stood.
Sonja stared at her crotch and nodded.
“I’ll call you later,” he said.
“Uh-huh,” she said, keeping her gaze on her pajamas.
Then she heard his footsteps as he grabbed his bag and ran up the stairs. She didn’t look up until he was gone.
After Jay left, Sonja knew their friendship would never be the same, and she was right. Jay went back to not answering her calls. His career had taken off, so he was rarely home, and when she happened to run into him, he would be at the pizza place on Larchmont with a girl she’d never met or with a new group of male friends. Once she said hello and he barely looked at her and mumbled, “Hi.”
After that, Sonja stopped calling him, and if by chance she saw him, she would turn and walk in the opposite direction. Then, after Christmas, his parents’ divorce was finalized and he and Riley moved to Bel Air to live with their mother. Days turned to years until one day Jay West was just a boy she used to know and the best friend who’d broken her heart.
Chapter 5
Sonja ripped her eyes away from Jay’s face and made herself smile halfheartedly at Fiona Meadows. It took everything inside her to keep her from saying screw it and walking in the opposite direction.
“Hi,” she barely said.
“Come have a seat. We’re all excited to get to know you better,” Fiona said.
The moment felt too surreal to be true. But at least her feet were still working as she followed Fiona to the only empty chair at the table. She hated that she was over-aware of Jay’s presence. He was sitting next to the guy at the head of the table, on the opposite side of her. Sonja’s head was spinning and she wanted to fan her heated skin but didn’t want anyone to see how flustered she was.
The guy in the most important seat touched his chest. “I’m Vincent Adams, president and founder of AEE, previously A&Rt, and I think I can speak for everyone here when I say you’ve written a spectacular screenplay.”
Sonja’s mouth was dry, so she swallowed hard. “Thank you.”
Don’t look, don’t look, she kept repeating to herself as everyone present introduced themselves. Sonja couldn’t retain any of their names. However, she did remember Mike Gillespie, who was still short but had more of that greasy and stiff stuff in his hair since it had obviously thinned a great deal.
“And so your screenplay, Pact of Lies, we want to make into a TV series,” Mike Gillespie said.
“However, I will be your agent,” Fiona quickly said.
“Unless you prefer to stay with me,” Mike countered.
Sonja frowned, confused. It almost sounded as if they were fighting over her.
Fiona delicately held up a finger. “Elaine and I hammered out your contract, and in it, I am your agent.”
“Contracts can be modified.”
“Give me a fucking break, Mike,” Fiona snapped, rolling her eyes. “You sat your lazy ass on this story for years. Probably because you knew she wouldn’t blow your tiny dick.”
“Fuck you Fiona,” Mike barked.
“Enough,” Vincent Adams said. His eyebrows were deeply furrowed, indicating he was not at all happy with their bickering.
It was then Sonja realized she had been staring at Jay while the agents squabbled. Suddenly she felt like her fifteen-year-old self again, so very hurt about how he’d walked out of her basement and out of her life forever. However, her brain held on to a name Fiona had mentioned, which made it impossible to listen to what Vincent Adams was saying about the pilot episode.
Sonja raised a finger. “I’m sorry, did you say Elaine?”
Vincent stopped speaking, and everyone looked at her as though they were shocked she had interrupted him.
“Elaine Hester? My sister Elaine?” she asked.
Jay adjusted in his seat. “Yes, Elaine.”
She closed her eyes to take a brisk breath. The one thing she hated more than servicing Ms. Jenkins’s apartment was Elaine meddling in her life. She waved her finger, knowing exactly one thing for sure. “Sorry, I can’t do this right now.”
She stood so fast that she became dizzy. Her frowning eyes rolled around the table, observing the shocked faces. The desire to get the hell out of there heavily outweighed rationality, which was telling her that they were presenting her with a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. But still, she abhorred that Elaine had found a new and improved way to make her feel inadequate. On top of that, she felt ambushed by Jay, who should’ve had the fortitude to contact her and tell her all about the meeting she found herself part of at that moment.
As though she were having an out-of-body experience, she watched herself walk out of the conference room as fast as her feet would carry her without running. No one seemed to notice as she picked up her pace. Soon she was riding the elevator back to the parking garage.
Sonja couldn’t jump into her car fast enough. Escaping became as vital to her as the blood in her body. She started the engine and backed out of her parking space. Her wheels screeched as she turned sharply toward the exit. It wasn’t until she was in the sunlight and making a left turn onto San Vicente Boulevard that she realized what she had done. She would probably never have another opportunity to work in Hollywood again.
Sonja clenched the steering wheel and screamed at the top of her lungs, hoping that would release her frustration, anxiety, and anger. It didn’t.
Then she pictured Jay sitting at the table, staring at her just as absentmindedly as she was gazing at him.
“Shit,” she whispered. “What the hell happened back there?”
There was something familiar about the motorcycle parked in front of the complex. Wasn’t it the same one she’d seen in the parking garage at the AMTA Building? And then she saw Jay West standing in front of the red wooden gate.
“Oh my…” she whispered. Her heart started pounding out of her chest.
Sonja chewed nervously on her bottom lip as she waited for the gate to open. She glanced at him, he waved at her, and she swiftly faced forward again. Thankfully, she had been granted entrance, so she drove up the concrete path while asking herself what she should do. Should she go straight to her apartment and ignore that Jay had not only followed her but beat her home? Or should she storm to the red gate, fling it open, and give him a piece of her mind?
Instead, as soon as she got out of her car, she clutched her stomach and walked slowly to where he was. The only thing she felt was numb as her hand grasped the brass handle and she opened the gate.
“Sorry,” was the first thing Jay said to her.
She stared into his crystal-blue eyes. She had forgotten how pale they were. However, he was far from the shaggy-haired, fresh-faced boy, the one who always had a pinch of something she couldn’t define in his eyes, that she used to know.
“What do you want?” Sonja snapped. She sounded mean, even though she didn’t want to, but it was where her disposition was defaulting to at the moment and she found herself unable to change it.
“Can we talk about what just happened?”
She narrowed an eye. “Is that all?”
“I got the feeling that you’re pissed off as hell at me.”
Sonja folded her arms and glared at him. “I haven’t seen you in nearly fifteen years, and when I do, it’s at a meeting at AMTA?”
He closed his eyes and nodded as though he was feeling the impact of her words. “Like I said, I’m sorry about that. I would’ve called you and said something, but I wasn’t sure you would talk to me.”
They stared into each other’s eyes. Sonja didn’t know whether to hug him and say it was good to see him or make him work harder for her forgiveness.
She unfolded her arms. “It’s fine. I accept your apology.”
He cracked a tiny smile. “That’s a relief. And listen, Son, I can’t change what happened fifteen years ago, but I found your screenplay and it’s solid. Elaine negotiated you premium terms, so be angry with me all you want but don’t let this opportunity slip through your fingers.”
She winced as she remembered walking out on all of those important people seated around that table. She dreaded the moment Elaine heard about that. The thought of sitting through another one of her sister’s lectures about how she was purposely choosing to live an unremarkable life made her want to escape to Timbuktu. However, at the moment, she wasn’t sure Elaine was wrong. If Jay had never shown up, she would’ve been happy to let the opportunity fall by the wayside. The fact that she had been so afraid and setting herself up to comfortably continue down the road to nowhere while her hopes and dreams dissolved more and more with each passing day made her tug the gate open wider so that Jay could enter.
“Follow me,” she said.
Chapter 6
“Nice place,” Jay said as his observation moved from the kitchen to the living room then to the hallway that led to two bedrooms and two bathrooms.
“Thanks,” Sonja muttered because she was so nervous. She took a deep breath to gather her bearings. “Would you like a cup of coffee?”
He shrugged before his hooded eyes landed on her. They were staring into each other’s eyes, and all the work Sonja had done to breathe steadily went down the drain.
“Sure,” he said finally.
“Okay.” She ripped her eyes off his and made a beeline to the kitchen. “What kind of coffee do you like?” she asked, discarding a used pod out of the Keurig machine and then inserting a new one.
Jay had found his way to the living room and sat down on the sofa. “What do you have?” He crossed his legs, setting his foot right above his knee.
“Buttercream coffee, French Roast, chocolate pecan…”
“The soft stuff?” He chuckled.
He was grinning when she looked at him, so she grinned too. Sonja turned her head slightly. “I have red wine?”
He shook his head. “I’ll have whatever you’re having.”
“Okay, buttercream coffee it is.”
She kept the machine purring so they couldn’t engage in small talk, which gave her a little more time to figure out how to start the conversation between them. But she totally forgot the approach she had chosen to take as soon as she caught him staring at her.
Jay raised his eyebrows. “You look good, Sonja.” He said it like he meant it deeply.
“Thanks. Would you like cream and sugar?” she asked.
“No.”
“No cream or sugar?”
He shook his head. “None.”
“Okay,” she said out of breath and added a teaspoon of cream to her coffee before bringing their drinks to the living room.
“Smells good,” he said as she handed him the coffee.
“Tastes good too.” She sat down beside him. She took a brisk breath as she handed him the coffee.
They sipped their coffees at the same time.
“You’re right. It does taste good,” he said.
She smiled, then they were back at it again, looking into each other’s eyes and grinning. It felt strange, because they were no longer kids. They were adults and she was experiencing him as such. However, she couldn’t help but notice all the strain on Jay’s face.
“You look tired,” she said then inhaled sharply. She hadn’t meant for those words to escape.
Jay snickered. “That’s because I am.” He dropped his leg from his thigh and onto the hardwood floor. “I’ve been working like crazy to get this project off the ground.”
Sonja hung her head, allowing shame of how she walked out of the meeting to pass through her. “Well…” She sighed. “Opportunities come and go.”
Jay patted her thigh. “Don’t worry, Son, you’re still in.”
She jerked her head back. “Really? I figured they would never want to work with me again. I mean, that was pretty intensely insane behavior I displayed back there.”
He snorted cynically. “It wasn’t as bad as that shit show Fiona and Mike put on.”
Sonja floated back against a pillow while carefully cradling her cup of coffee. “Oh right, that was pretty bad.”
“It can get worse,” he said.
A sense of relief ran through her. She wanted to say good, but the fact that it could be worse wasn’t good. They fell silent, so Sonja took a few sips of her coffee as Jay set his on a coaster on the coffee table.
“Sonja.” He turned his body to face her. “I just want to say that I’m sorry. I was the one who left you high and dry back then, and…” He pressed his lips together and stared into her eyes.
She closed hers and remembered what she had planned to ask earlier whi
le making their coffee. “Was I wrong?”
“Wrong about what?”
She opened her eyes. “How close we were as friends?”
Jay’s mouth opened then closed. He leaned toward her. “After what happened…” He cleared his throat. “I didn’t know what to do.”
“It was just one moment. It shouldn’t have cost so much.” Her voice was shaky as she fought back tears. Even though she was as still as a mountain, Sonja’s heart was beating a mile a minute.
Jay sighed heavily as his eyebrows gathered inward. “We were only fifteen. It was a lot.”
“But you used to have sex with all of your girlfriends.”
He shifted in his seat. “Yeah, but that was different.”
She knew her eyes asked him to explain further.
“It was different with you.” He scooted to the edge of the sofa. “Think about a defibrillator, okay?” he said, gesturing intensely.
“Okay,” she barely said.
“My heart had stopped, and each time I had sex with a girl, it was as if the paramedics would yell, ‘Clear!’ and they’d shock my heart, and nothing would happen.” His glossy eyes connected with hers.
Sonja’s head felt floaty as she was captivated by Jay’s analogy.
“Until we were on that couch. When I kissed you, it shocked my heart and that time it started beating.”
The silence between them was awkward. If only Sonja hadn’t known exactly what he was talking about. She wanted to confess that she’d had to grapple with the same emotions, only she’d managed to stuff them and store them away by the next morning.
Jay sat up straight. “So we were once friends”—he shrugged—“do you think we can get back to that?”
Sonja didn’t have to think twice. She smiled. “Of course.” She examined his face as he grinned at her. His eyes were watery, but goodness he looked so beat. “It’s just… I haven’t written anything in a long time.”
“Why not? You used to write all the time.”
She sighed and shook her head briskly. “I don’t know.”
And that was the truth. Something had turned off inside her after she wrote Pact of Lies, and whatever that was had never turned back on.
Once Friends Page 4