“Hey, Thom?” Ben was trying to figure out a formula in one of the spreadsheets Thom had put together. They were in the final push of getting the business plan put together, and if all went well, Thom would go to the bank next week to meet with the loan officer.
“Yeah?” Thom looked over from his desk where he was going through a hard copy of the plan with a red pen.
“I’m not sure what’s going on with this formula. Would you take a look?”
Thom came around to the computer desk to look over Ben’s shoulder. He was just about to rest his hand on Ben’s shoulder, as he usually did when leaning in to see something on the monitor, but stopped short and put his hand in his pocket.
“Sure. Which one is it?”
Ben highlighted the cell in question, opening it to show the formula. Thom quickly diagnosed the problem, Ben entered the correction, and they both went back to what they had been doing. Ben frowned as he worked. He didn’t think it was his imagination that Thom had started acting distant. He was still friendly and joked around, but now it seemed like he went out of his way not to touch Ben or get close. Ben knew they were getting to be friends, and anything more would probably just remain his own fantasy, but he missed the relaxed moments, the occasional horseplay when they would get in each other’s way in the kitchen or toolshed. He sighed and got up.
“I’m going to go make some coffee,” he said. “You want any?”
“Sure,” Thom replied, not looking up. “Sounds good.”
The coffee was just a distraction. Ben needed to get out of the office for a few minutes. Maybe Thom was trying to make it clear that there was nothing between them, and that he didn’t want there to be. If he was going to maintain a good relationship with Thom, he’d have to respect whatever distance Thom put between them. After all, Thom was his boss when you came right down to it, so he needed to figure a way to work with him without wanting him so much. Or figure out how to fake it.
Thom met with the loan officer next week. If he approved the loan, maybe they’d both be so busy that Ben wouldn’t have time to think about anything for a while.
Chapter 6
“They said yes!” Thom was shouting as he jumped down from his truck and started running toward the house. “They said yes!!”
Ben came out the back door, drying his hands with the dishtowel. “Yes!!” he whooped, jumping down the last three steps and running to meet Thom. “I knew they would!”
They crashed into each other, throwing their arms around each other and jumping up and down in circles, laughing and shouting, and before he let himself think about it, before he could stop himself, Thom leaned in and kissed Ben. Ben smelled of sunshine and fresh grass, green leaves and dish soap and all the earthy scents of home. It was like kissing a dream, and in barely more than a second Ben was kissing him back. Thom crashed back to reality when he felt Ben’s tongue tickling his upper lip, and jerked away.
“Oh, God, I…” Thom started.
“I’m sorry! I didn’t…” said Ben.
“I shouldn’t have…”
Ben took a deep breath. “Yes, you should.”
“No. No, I’m your boss. Your uncle is my friend. It doesn’t feel right.”
“It felt pretty damn right to me. I’ve wanted to kiss you for weeks.”
Thom shook his head, stepping back, putting distance between them. Ben stepped forward, reaching for Thom’s hand. “Don’t push me away,” he whispered.
“I have to,” Thom said.
“Why? I like you, Thom. I think you must like me, too, or you wouldn’t have kissed me. I’ve seen you look at me sometimes, and I’ve wondered if maybe the attraction was mutual.”
“It is,” Thom admitted, “but it’s… complicated.”
“Is there someone else?” Of course there wasn’t. When would there be time?
“No.” Thom shook his head.
“Then how complicated can it be?” Thom tried to pull his hand away, but Ben tightened his hold. “No, Thom. Talk to me.”
“Like I said, I’m your boss. Your uncle would freak. And with this new project starting, I’ll be so busy. We’ll both be busy. The timing is bad, and then there’s the age difference. I’m just… overwhelmed.”
“I think Uncle Chuck would actually be okay with it. And you don’t have to feel overwhelmed – I’m here to help as much as I can. The difference in our ages isn’t as big as you’re making out. Unless you’re just using that as an excuse?”
“You should be out having fun. You deserve someone your own age. Someone with less responsibility and baggage.”
“First of all, I figure I’m the one who gets to decide what I deserve. And you think I don’t have baggage? Do you remember why I’m here? If my mother hasn’t completely written me off and disowned me, then right now she’s probably back home trying to pray me straight. Whichever it is, I know I can’t go home again. So don’t play the baggage card with me, Thom Caldwell, because… because… well, just don’t!” Ben threw the dishtowel he was still holding in Thom’s direction, whirled around and stormed down the nearest row, leaving Thom standing alone in the yard, clutching the damp towel.
Thom sighed and turned towards the house. That had not gone well. He genuinely liked Ben, and that was part of the problem. If they got involved, everything would get complicated when things inevitably ran their course. Thom wanted a relationship, a partner who would be interested in building a life together. It didn’t have to be someone who would work the vineyard and winery with him, although that would be nice. If it was someone steady, who had his own career but understood and encouraged Thom’s goals, then that would be enough. Ben was so young, just getting started. When he was that age, Thom hadn’t been ready for that kind of commitment. No, he had done the right thing.
* * *
Ben stormed down the row without looking back, needing to put some distance between them and calm down Damn Thom Caldwell, anyway. After days of freezing him out, Thom had acted on impulse and kissed him. And then, yep, pushed him away again. This wasn’t just a crush, or a physical attraction. He wanted to get past that barrier Thom had put up – the mental block that had Thom relegating Ben to employee, colleague, friend, whatever. The way Ben figured, they were two grown men who liked each other. The rest was irrelevant. He would quit and find a job in town, or on one of the other vineyards or farms in the area, if he thought it would make a difference. But he didn’t think it would. Besides, he liked it here, and he was excited about the coming changes and looking forward to being a part of building something new and ambitious.
No, he was staying, that was it. Maybe Thom would never come around, but Ben would be here in case he did.
* * *
Thom poked around the office, but couldn’t settle down to work on anything. He finally gave up and went out on the porch where cell reception was a little better. He needed to give his grandfather an update anyway.
“Hey, Granddad,” Thom said when Steve Caldwell answered the phone.
“Hey, Tommy boy! How’s life up north?”
“Pretty good, Granddad. How are you doing?”
“Oh, can’t complain. I miss the rain sometimes, how crazy is that?”
“I don’t think it’s crazy. I’d miss it too. I’m gonna get down there after the harvest is in and we’ve got the vineyard ready for winter.”
“Great! I’ll introduce you to my lady friends!”
“How many lady friends do you have Granddad? Have you turned into a playboy?” Thom smiled at the thought of his Granddad with a white-haired lady on each arm.
“There are definite perks to being an old man with your wits about you. There aren’t enough of us to go around! And at our age, the brain really is the sexiest organ.”
“You know what? I don’t want to know. As long as you’re happy and enjoying yourself, that’s all that matters.” Thom listened to his Granddad’s deep chuckle roll down the line. He really missed having the old guy around.
“Fair en
ough,” Steve said. “What’s new with you then? Last time we talked you were working on the business plan.”
“I just got back from the bank.”
“Well? Don’t leave me hanging, son!”
Thom laughed. “They said yes!”
“Well of course they did! I think you’re the only one who ever had any doubts! So when do you get started?”
“I don’t know yet. You’re the first person I called. When I get off the phone with you I’ll call Ross O’Connor and start the ball rolling.”
“So you think you’ll use Ross, then?”
“Yeah. He’s the best in the area, and his bid was the most realistic.”
“And how’s the new guy working out? Chuck’s nephew?”
“Good. Real good. He’s a fast learner, and smart. He’s been a big help in the office, too.”
“Think he’ll stick around? You could use someone like that full time, especially with the expansion.”
“I don’t know, Granddad. He’s young – fresh out of college. Coming here wasn’t his idea to begin with.”
“Chuck told me. Poor kid.”
“Yeah. So anyway, he seems happy enough for now, but he’ll want to move on once he gets some money saved up and figures out what he wants to do.”
“You never know, maybe he’ll figure out he wants to work on a vineyard and make wine.”
“Maybe.” Thom wanted Granddad to be right, but he was afraid to hope.
“What’s wrong, son?”
“Nothing. Really, Granddad. I guess I’m just tired.”
“You’re sure?” Damn, Granddad knew him too well.
“Yeah, I’m sure. I guess it’s starting to sink in that this is really happening, you know?”
“I know. I was thinking about those trips we took, doing all that research.”
“We sure did have a lot of fun, huh?”
“Remember that place in the Finger Lakes where they had the cheese from the local dairy?”
Thom spent the next few minutes reminiscing with his grandfather about their travels, and signed off promising to visit as soon as he could and bring plenty of pictures of the progress.
Chapter 7
Thom sat on the porch steps and stared at the phone in his hand. He had to make this call, so better to just do it and get it over with.
“Hey, Thom.”
“Hi Ross. Look, the bank approved the loan, and I’d like to break ground as soon as possible.”
“So, you’re offering me the contract?”
“Yeah, if you’re still interested and can start soon.”
“I can have a crew there day after tomorrow to start some of the prep work. I’ll come by tomorrow afternoon with the contract and some paperwork, and once that’s all signed I’ll start working on permits and ordering materials.”
“Great, thanks.”
“So, Thom. How about we get together, have a drink or dinner to celebrate?”
“No thanks, Ross. I told you, this is business. I don’t want things complicated.”
Ross sighed.
“Ross…”
“Fine, fine. You know I hate taking no for an answer, and no seems to be all you ever say.”
“Ross, please. If you’re going to be doing this job, I can’t have you flirting and trying to get in my pants. It’s exhausting and I need to focus on the job.”
“Well, that doesn’t sound very fun, but if you insist.”
“I do.”
“Oh, hey. What about the new guy – Ben? You think he’d mind if I flirted with him? Or is he a stick in the mud too?”
“Leave Ben alone.”
“Hmm, I still think maybe there’s something going on there. You sure are protective of him.”
Thom thought about it. Maybe if he told Ross that he and Ben were together, Ross would back off and leave Ben alone. “It’s private,” he said. That was vague – let Ross interpret it however he pleased.
“Private, you say.”
“Just leave him alone. He’s not for you.”
* * *
Ross was true to his word and had a crew out clearing and leveling the land in a couple of days. Ross arranged for all the utilities and permits. In less than a month things were well underway and Thom focused on getting the vineyard ready for the final spraying before he had to start prepping for the harvest. He walked the vineyard that morning, checking the grapes, tasting them to see how they were coming along.
He took Ben with him, showing him what to look for as the grapes matured through the growing cycle. It didn’t hurt that keeping Ben with him kept the younger man away from Ross.
“Here,” he called Ben over. “See the color here?” He held some leaves back and pointed to a cluster of grapes. Ben nodded.
“These are just barely starting to ripen.” Thom picked one of the grapes and popped it in his mouth, biting into it and letting the juice cover his tongue. “Here, you try one. Hold the juice in your mouth and tell me how it feels and tastes.”
Ben took the grape and tried to do as Thom described.
“Well?”
“Um, I’m not sure what I should be looking for. It tastes fruity? Not real sweet.”
“There should be a tartness that you feel, how do I describe it? Like a sensation in your jaw, but not so sour that you pucker up.”
“Is that what you got from your grape?”
“Yeah.”
“Well, I ate a different grape, didn’t I? Maybe if I tasted the one you tasted.”
“What do you–”
Before Thom could ask Ben what he meant, Ben’s mouth was on his, Ben’s tongue dipping into his open mouth before he could react. He raised his hands to push Ben away, but Ben caught them and held them tight. Thom twisted and pulled away. He stumbled, and Ben steadied him.
“Ben, I told you, we can’t do this.”
“And I told you, you’re making this more complicated than it needs to be.”
Thom stepped back, out of Ben’s reach. “We’re out here to work, not fool around.”
“I hardly think pausing two minutes for a kiss is going to put us behind schedule.”
Thom frowned. “I don’t think you understand.”
“Oh, I understand perfectly well.” Ben stepped back. “Don’t worry, I won’t bother you again.” He spun on his heel and headed towards the house, leaving Thom watching his retreating back disappear down the hill.
“Fuck,” Thom swore. What did that mean? Was Ben leaving? He wouldn’t do that, would he? But this was what he wanted, wasn’t it? For Ben to keep the distance between them so he wouldn’t be tempted. As long as they maintained that distance, he could control himself. If Ben tried that again, he wasn’t sure he’d be able to resist.
* * *
Ben headed towards the house, feeling his shoulders tense up. He had to get away from Thom for a bit so he could think straight. He kicked at a rock in the path and missed, sending up a small cloud of dust. “Shit!” That felt good so he said it again. “Shit-shit-shit!”
“Hoo, boy! What’s eatin’ you?”
Ben looked up and realized he was closer to the house than he’d thought and Ross was there, leaning against the porch railing and watching him as he cursed his way across the yard.
“Hey, Ross.” Ben stopped and ran a hand back and forth over the top of his head. He knew it probably made his hair stand on end, but he didn’t care.
Ross made his way over to where Ben was standing with his hands on his hips, looking around the yard.
“Can’t be that bad, can it?” Ross asked, reaching out to pat Ben’s hair into place.
Ben jerked his head back. “You really don’t understand the concept of personal space, do you?”
Ross chuckled, “Don’t tell the boyfriend, okay?”
“Boyfriend?” Ben huffed. “You mean Thom?”
“Yeah,” Ross smoothed the collar of Ben’s plaid work shirt. “You two have a lover’s quarrel out there?”
Ben laughed now,
but a bitter sound. “Boyfriend. Lover’s quarrel. Fat chance.”
Ross looked puzzled, “I thought the two of you were, you know, a cozy little couple out here.”
“No. Not for lack of me trying, but it’s not like that.”
“That’s not what he told me.”
“What did he tell you?” Ben asked, his eyes narrowed and his lips in a thin line.
“Well, not so much told as implied that you two were together and that I… Oh, that sneaky bastard. He let me think the two of you were a couple so I wouldn’t ask you out.”
Ben didn’t say anything, just turned and made a beeline back the way he’d come.
* * *
“What did you do?!”
Thom tensed and straightened up from where he was crouched examining a spot on one of the vines. He turned to face Ben.
“I said, what did you do? What did you tell Ross?”
“I…”
“Don’t try to act like you don’t know what I’m talking about. You told Ross that you and I were a couple.”
“No.”
“You let him think it, though, didn’t you?”
Thom was silent.
“Didn’t you?!”
Thom flinched. “I didn’t… I didn’t tell him we weren’t. He assumed the rest.”
“Jesus, Thom. Why? Why tell other people there’s something going on when there isn’t and you’ve made it clear there won’t be? I don’t get it.”
“I told you about Ross.”
“Yeah? Are you sure there’s not more to it than that? Maybe you’re hung up on Ross yourself? If you don’t want me, then you don’t get a say in who I see or what I do.”
“I’m not hung up on Ross,” Thom answered.
Saving Grapes (Cable's Bend Book 1) Page 4