Thom rutted against Ben as they kissed, reveling in the hard, muscular dips and curves of Ben’s body. It was all he needed and before long he felt his balls drawing up and the wet warmth of his release spread between them as Thom groaned his pleasure into the kiss.
They lay together, panting as Thom’s fluids started to cool between them. “Oops. Guess I got a little carried away.” Thom slowly peeled himself off Ben. “I’ll be right back,” he said, heading to the bathroom. He returned a few minutes later with a warm washcloth, wiping Ben clean and leaning over to kiss the spot he had just wiped. Then tossing the cloth toward the hamper in the corner, he climbed back into bed, lying down next to Ben. They moved towards each other, and Ben ran a hand through the light dusting of hair at the center of Thom’s chest.
“I feel like you did all the work,” Ben said in a low voice. “I’ll do better next time.”
Thom’s heart seemed to skip a beat at those words – next time. He hoped there’d be a next time, and soon.
Thom traced the outline of Ben’s ear with a fingertip. “You did just fine, but give me a little time to recover and we can give it another go tonight.”
“Yeah?”
“Yeah.”
“Okay, but in the meantime, is there any reason I can’t kiss you all over?”
Thom flushed. “No,” he managed to whisper, “not that I can think of.”
* * *
Thom was embarrassed to ask; he didn’t want to sound clingy or jealous, but he had to know. “Are you going to see Ross again?” He thought he sounded pretty casual.
Ben chuckled and rolled onto his side facing Thom. Propping himself up on one elbow he looked down at Thom and trailed his free hand down the center of Thom’s chest to run his fingers through the thick trail of hair extending down from the other man’s navel. “Jealous?”
“No,” but Thom was pretty sure he wasn’t fooling anybody.
“Too bad,” Ben leaned over to leave a trail of kisses along Ben’s collarbone. “I think I’d like it if you were a little jealous.”
“Okay, fine, I’m jealous. Okay? I’m jealous.”
“No, I’m not seeing him again. I hadn’t planned to see him again.”
“But you were smiling, and you kissed him. You looked like you had a good time.”
“I did have a good time, but I’m not interested in him like that, and he knew it. But he wanted to kiss me, and as far as I knew, I had no reason not to kiss him.” Ben shrugged. “But he wasn’t what I wanted. Wasn’t who I wanted. Get it?” Ben held Thom’s gaze, “I’m tired of playing games and hiding behind responsibilities, Thom. Give us a chance and don’t freak out on me in the morning.”
A little dazed, Thom just nodded.
“Good. No more talking now. You wore me out, and I need my beauty sleep.”
Thom wasn’t sure how much sleep he’d get, with his mind racing and Ben in his arms, but his energetic young lover had worn him out and sleep came more easily than he expected. His last coherent thought was that Chuck would probably kill him, but he just didn’t care.
* * *
Thom tried not to freak out the next morning, he really did. When he awoke and felt a warm body pressed against his side, his first instinct was to push closer into that warmth. Then the full memory of the night before came flooding in and he froze. What have I done? He thought. Ben shifted, making a soft snuffling sound, but didn’t wake. Okay, I promised not to freak out. We’re adults. We knew what we were doing, we made this decision. Just be cool, Thom. It’s just sex. Okay, maybe not just sex. Maybe if I act like it’s no big deal I can get through the day.
Ben shifted again, turning towards Thom and opening his eyes. And there was that smile, the one with the dimple. “Hey,” he whispered.
Thom swallowed hard, “Hey.”
“Are you freaking out?”
“No.”
“Liar.”
“Maybe just a little? But only on the inside.”
The dimple got deeper, “But that’s where it matters, sweetheart.”
Sweetheart? Ordinarily Thom would have cringed at the endearment, but in Ben’s husky morning voice, with that southern drawl, it made him shiver instead.
“Are you cold? Shall I warm you up?” Ben’s hand was already snaking down between them, finding Thom’s morning semi and bringing it to full attention with only a few strokes. “Maybe if I remind you of how good last night was, you’ll forget about freaking out?”
“Um… maybe?” Honestly, he was still freaking out a little, but this felt too good to pass up, and then he felt the wet heat of Ben’s mouth around his cock, and the tip of Ben’s tongue teasing the slit, and that took all his attention.
* * *
Thom spent all day almost, but not quite, freaking out. He and Ben were working side by side in the office most of the day, and every time he started to tense up, Ben would notice. His usual method of getting Thom to relax was to kiss him – just take Thom’s face in those big, callused hand of his, and kiss him until Thom responded. Then he’d sit back with that dimple in his cheek and ask, “Better now?”
After lunch, Ben decided stronger measures were in order, and Thom was treated to a blow-job, right there in the office, sitting in his creaky old desk chair. When it was over, Ben sat back on his heels, wiped his lips with the back of his hand, and pinned Thom with his gaze.
“Your brain is going a mile a minute, Thom. Care to share?”
Thom ran his gaze over Ben, stopping at the bulge straining the front of his jeans. “Want me to take care of that for you?” he asked, tilting his chin towards Ben’s groin.
“Uh-uh – that’ll keep for now, so no dodging the question. I figure we should be enjoying ourselves. The fields are in order, the construction crew is off for the weekend, there’s nothing we absolutely have to get done today, so as far as I can figure, you’re still tensing up over what’s going on here.” He pointed back and forth between himself and Thom.
Thom lowered his eyes, saw his pants were still spread open with his bits on display, and started putting his clothing back in order. He heard Ben make a disappointed little sound, but finished what he was doing before looking back and meeting the younger man’s eyes.
“Honestly?”
“I would appreciate it.”
“Honestly… I’m waiting for the other shoe to drop. I don’t want to be that way – I’d like to be able to live in the moment and enjoy… this… but I know it’s only a matter of time before you get me out of your system.”
“Wow, I don’t even know where to begin. Do you really have such a low opinion of me? And of yourself?”
“No, not at all! I’m just acknowledging that you’re young, and maybe you still have a lot you want to do. You know, sowing your oats and all.”
“Sowing my oats?” Ben laughed.
“You know what I mean. And don’t laugh, it’s what my Granddad calls it and I can’t think of a better way to put it. Fooling around, playing the field, whatever.”
“I’m sorry, and I’m not laughing at you. I’ll admit I did my share of fooling around in college. I had a few boyfriends, but they were casual and didn’t last long. You’re the first man I’ve made love with, though. Because that’s what it was, Thom. Not just sex, but making love. For me, anyway. I’ve wanted you for weeks. Working here, learning from you, helping you build your dream and growing a friendship. If all I wanted was sex I could get that anywhere. I could have had that last night with Ross if all I wanted was to get my rocks off.”
Thom flushed, and Ben continued, “I’m not saying I’m ‘in love’ here, it’s too soon for that, but I could see it happening if you were ready to meet me halfway.” Ben stood and adjusted himself, making sure Thom got a good look before he turned away. “I’m going out for a while, got some errands to run. Think about what I’ve said, because this conversation isn’t over.”
* * *
Ben grabbed his wallet and the truck keys and left the house with no real
plan other than to get some fresh air and clear his head. He turned onto the highway and headed towards town. As he neared the turn-off that would lead to his uncle’s house, he made a last minute decision and took the turn, thankful there was no traffic. He drove down a street lined with Craftsman bungalows and four-squares until he pulled up in front of his uncle’s house. It could use a coat of paint, he thought as he got out of the truck, but he figured raising six daughters on an extension agent’s salary didn’t leave much time or money for home improvements.
The windows were open, and he could hear his two youngest cousins trash talking each other over the sound of a video game involving racing cars. He knocked on the door, but they were too engrossed in their battle to notice. He knocked again, a little louder, and one of the girls stopped berating her sister long enough to shout, “Mo-om! Someone’s at the door!”
He heard footsteps, and then his Aunt Lorraine was opening the door. For a second she looked annoyed, and then when she recognized him she smiled and unlatched the screen, “Oh, Ben! It’s you – I thought maybe you were another solicitor. Come in, come in. I apologize for my daughters’ rudeness,” she raised her voice as they passed the TV room so the girls could hear her. “They get so involved in that game. Would you like some coffee or a pop?” She asked as she led him into the kitchen.
“Thanks, Aunt Lorraine, coffee would be great if it’s not too much trouble.”
“No trouble at all. It gives me an excuse to make some for myself,” she said with a wink before she started the grinder and measured water into the coffee maker.
“So,” she sat down across from him at the kitchen table, “what brings you by? If you’re looking for Chuck he’s out until, oh,” she looked at the clock, “four o’clock I’d guess.”
“Not necessarily. Just wanted to get out and about, have a visit, you know.” There was a slapping sound from the pet flap as the family dog came inside. Spotting Ben, the pit bull terrier trotted over to greet him, resting his head on Ben’s leg. Ben scratched his neck and fondled his soft ears, “Hey, Jazzy, how you… ewww.”
“He drool on you?” Lorraine asked. “Here.” She handed him a paper towel from the roll on the table.
“Thanks,” Ben said, folding the towel and placing it on his leg under Jazzy’s wide, and slobbery, jaw. “You’re really gross, Jazzy, you know that? Really, really gross.”
Jazzy gazed up at him, soaking up the attention, secure in the knowledge that he must be a very, very good dog.
“Thom running you ragged?” She asked.
“No, nothing like that,” he replied, hoping he wasn’t blushing. It felt like he might be blushing.
“Still, I guess there’s a lot to do, and it must get lonely out there with just the two of you. You get some time off, don’t you? Get to go into town and meet folks your own age?”
“Geez, you sound just like Thom,” Ben groused.
“Oh?”
When she remained silent, Ben looked up. “What?” But Lorraine just shrugged and got up to pour coffee into a couple of mugs.
“You tell me,” she said, putting a mug on the table in front of him.
Ben picked up the mug, blowing on it and trying to figure out what to say. His knee started to jiggle with nerves and Jazzy left with a huff, wandering over to see what might be left in his food bowl.
“Thom giving you a hard time?” She asked.
“No.” Not like you mean, anyway, he thought.
“He’s a good man.”
“Yeah.”
“Smart, ambitious.”
“Yeah.”
“And handsome, too.”
“Yeah.” Oh, crap.
“Aha! Gotcha.”
Ben sighed, “Okay, you got me. I think he’s handsome. Happy?”
“Well, I got you to admit it. So what? He is handsome. And all the other things I said, too. Nothing wrong with noticing that.”
“I know.” Ben was really not comfortable with this conversation.
“So, you like him?”
“Of course I like him,” he said.
“I mean like-like him,” she replied, waggling her eyebrows.
Ben squirmed in his seat. “You spend too much time with teenage girls,” he complained.
“Oh, come on. It’s perfectly normal, Ben. I’d be surprised if you didn’t have a bit of a crush on him.”
“Crush. I hate that word. It sounds painful.”
Lorraine shrugged. “It can be. Doesn’t have to be. Do you think the feeling’s mutual?”
“What?”
“I said – “
“I heard what you said, but Thom’s… Why would you…”
“Give me a break, I’m not stupid. He’s never had a girlfriend, I’ve never heard of him even going on a date in this town, except for the times your uncle’s tried to fix him up with one of our girls, and then he just went because he didn’t want to disappoint Chuck. I’ve wondered for a while now, so maybe he is, or maybe he isn’t. I don’t care either way. But if you don’t know…”
“Okay, okay. But don’t tell Uncle Chuck, alright? Thom doesn’t broadcast it, and it’s his business who he wants to tell.”
“Sure. So… mutual or not?”
“Maybe? I mean, yes. But he’s kind of freaked out. I think it’s mostly the age difference, that he thinks I’m just a flighty kid. That I’ll get bored and lose interest and move on.”
“So prove him wrong.”
“How do I do that?”
“Stay.”
“That’s it? Just stay?”
“I’ve known Thom Caldwell since he was a little boy. He’s always been more of a doer than a talker. He’s the quiet, steady type. What you do will mean a lot more to him than what you say. So just stay. If you’re there, right there where he can’t help but see you, then he won’t have room to doubt you. That’s assuming you want to stay?”
“Of course I do.”
“It’s a fair question, though. You see that, don’t you? I’m not saying you’re not serious,” she reached across the table and he took her hand, “but you are young. I can understand his point of view, too.”
Ben nodded. “So, I’ll just stay.”
“And don’t pressure him, either. Just… be there.”
“How long, do you figure?”
“As long as it takes. Maybe one day he’ll look up and realize you’re both old men and you haven’t gone anywhere in 50 years. Or next month he realizes he’s being a fool and tells you so. Either way, you’re together.”
Ben was silent, and took a sip of his coffee.
“Think about it, yeah?”
He nodded, then looked up at her with a small smile. “Thanks, Aunt Lorraine.”
“Anytime, honey. I have six daughters, I’ve got plenty of experience giving advice to the lovelorn.”
Chapter 9
Ben headed home – because he’d decided that it was home, no matter what Thom believed – with a plan. After the conversation with his aunt he drove around a while, thinking about what he’d say when he got there. Thom could freak out all he wanted, but Ben was going to take his aunt’s advice and just stay. No big talks, no fuss, just be there until Thom could accept that he was serious. If Thom really didn’t want him, if he point-blank asked Ben to leave, then he’d go. But until then, he was in this thing.
By the time Ben got home it was close to dinnertime and Thom was in the kitchen putting water on to boil.
“Pasta okay?” he asked as Ben walked in.
Oh, so he was going to play it cool and pretend like everything was business as usual? Not happening. Ben crossed to where Thom stood, took his face between his hands, and lowered his lips to Thom’s. It was a slow, gentle kiss. He took his time, just kissing softly, lightly nibbling Thom’s lower lip until he felt Thom relax and start to kiss him back. Then he pulled back, smiling, until Thom opened his eyes and looked up at him. “Miss me, sweetheart?” he asked in a whisper.
Thom’s eyebrows drew together,
“I thought…”
“Hmm?” Ben stroked Thom’s cheekbones with his thumbs. “What did you think?”
“I thought you were mad at me?”
“Well, I will admit I was pretty riled up. But I drove around for a while, had a cup of coffee, cleared my head.”
“And then you got hungry and decided to come back?”
“And then I missed you and decided to come home.”
Thom just stared up at him with those clear blue eyes, but Ben didn’t say anything else – just let his words hang there between them. Thom looked down and cleared his throat.
“Um, okay then. Well, dinner will be ready soon, so I’d better, um… do stuff.”
Ben smiled and stepped back. “Okay, I’ll wash up and set the table then.”
Thom nodded, turning back to the stove and fumbling with the knobs.
* * *
Thom wasn’t sure how to act, so he concentrated on getting dinner ready. He could hear Ben rattling around behind him, setting the table and rummaging in the fridge.
“Want me to make a salad?” Ben asked.
“Sure, sounds good.” Thom wondered how Ben could be so relaxed. His own mind was a jumble of questions. What was Ben thinking? He said he had missed him and come home. Did that mean the same thing to Ben that it meant to Thom? Earlier, Ben had said their conversation wasn’t over, but now Ben was just chopping vegetables and getting ready for dinner like any other day. Had Ben decided the conversation was over after all? That it wasn’t worth pursuing? No, that couldn’t be right. Ben had kissed him – and wow, what a kiss! He’d said he’d missed him, and called him sweetheart, so that was good. But maybe Ben had decided casual was the way to go?
Why am I even thinking about this, Thom wondered. I already decided I’d take what he gave me and be grateful for whatever time we have. If Ben wants to play house, I can do that. I just have to keep my cool. I’m the grown up here.
Saving Grapes (Cable's Bend Book 1) Page 6