I kept my eyes on her until she looked up. “I want you to say yes to me, to what I am, but you must accept me fully. I can’t be anything different from what I am.”
“Will you hurt me?” she asked.
“Not voluntarily.” She had no way of knowing that I would die to save her from harm.
“Yes,” she whispered.
I didn’t move.
“Yes, I want you,” she said louder.
Chapter Nineteen
Stella
“Yes,” I repeated.
I could have died earlier, and tomorrow I would be dealing with my dreary life once again. Tonight was all I had. Nothing else mattered. I wouldn’t wake one morning, regretting having said no to him.
“I want you.” The moment the words escaped my mouth, Fabian was on me, his hands caressing my arms, his mouth pressing hard against mine.
“Yield to me,” he said.
I opened my lips to him. The invasion wasn’t as sweet as it had been before, but it contained an urgency that matched mine. His strong hands pulled at my dress, lowering my bodice until the lace of my strapless bra peeked from underneath. A frustrated groan was followed by Fabian’s fingers tugging at the lace and ripping it at the center. My breasts spilled out, and his hands were on them. Liquid fire ran through me when he pinched my nipples. I gasped at the unexpected pleasure the pain gave me. Then his mouth was on the hard nub, soothing the ache with his soft tongue, and it was torture to my overwhelmed senses.
My body reacted to his touches as if it had known him already, preparing for him as I melted under his attack. Every lap of his tongue sent an arrow straight down the apex between my legs. His fingers took turns kneading and pinching as his mouth suckled at my breasts. I only felt; thinking wasn’t an option any longer.
Fabian lowered me to the cushion. One hand pulled the bodice further down, while the other reached for my heeled foot which he pulled up to the sofa. Then he reached under the fabric of my dress, skimming the inside of my ankle. His finger pads brushed the silk of my hose, and a long shiver ran along my leg, reaching my core like an intimate caress. Slowly, he traced the contour of the line on the back of my stockings. Then his exploration moved forward, and he hooked a finger under my garter belt, pulling at it, without removing it, just playing with my senses.
When he stopped, I couldn’t control my shivers. “Fabian—”
“I will take care of you.” His voice was rough. “Look at me.”
I had not even realized my eyes were closed. When I opened them, Fabian’s gaze was too much to bear. His hand possessively cupped my breast, while the other raised the hem of my gown, uncovering my legs. At the sight of my garters, his green eyes changed color, from deep amber, to orange, and finally red. I trembled under his unwavering stare. Some of the dread returned, but it mixed with my arousal, creating a conflicting combination of emotions.
“Do not fear me.” His hand moved away from the garter and traveled up until it rested at the lace edge of my panties. His finger teased the hem, slipping under before stopping.
I moaned, “Please—”
“Look at me.”
Again, I obeyed him, and I was bathed in the red glow of his vampire eyes.
“I want you,” he said. “I can’t hide it.” His finger moved against my folds, edging closer to where I wanted him to touch me, but he didn’t. He kept teasing me instead.
Finally, I couldn’t take it any longer, and I moved against him. My intention was to force him to touch me, but he pinned me down with his hand, reminding me of the brute strength he could use on me at any moment. He didn’t hurt me. He just kept me there, so that I couldn’t move.
“You are not ready.” His finger inched closer to my core, and that convinced me to stop struggling against his hold. Then it was brushing my nub, eliciting a choked cry from me.
I bit my lower lip, and he said, “Don’t hurt yourself. Relax.”
He dipped his head between my legs, his soft lips pressing against my panties as he breathed cool puffs of air over my core. The thin lace was no barrier, and yet it felt too much because I wanted his mouth on me, skin on skin. He licked the fabric, up and down, creating a whole new tension inside me.
I was sure I would soon explode if he didn’t tear my panties apart and fill me. “Please,” I begged him again.
Finally, he took the elastic of my panties in his mouth. His teeth ripped the fabric with a satisfying sound that I felt deep in my core, then his tongue lavished me with long strokes, and I moaned softly as my pleasure mounted. His finger was at my entrance, pressing against my soft flesh, making me wetter with every push, until it slipped inside.
It was nothing like my intimate explorations—when I thought of him at night when I couldn’t sleep, even though he terrified me. His finger thrust once, twice, and I gasped. Then a second finger joined the first, stretching me inside. The sensation bordered on pain, but I didn’t want him to stop, and I angled my hips to help him deepen his touch. His fingers filled me until it felt too tight, and I couldn’t help but cry out.
Fabian stopped moving completely. The hand that was still teasing my nipple flattened against my breast. His ragged breath and the bewildered expression on his face told me that he wasn’t happy about stopping, and I dreaded what he was going to say next.
Chapter Twenty
Fabian
“You are a virgin.” I looked at her, then lowered my eyes between us, to her wet softness that pulsed around my fingers.
My body drummed with a want so hard, I would not be able to deny my bloodlust. I hurt already.
“It doesn’t change anything,” Stella said, her eyes pleading as she subtly pressed against me.
“It’s your first time.” Never was a sentence so difficult to utter.
“I want my first time to be with you.” She seemed to soften under my thighs, becoming warmer, and enticing me to finish what I had started.
My first impulse was to grant her desire, but I steeled my will and withdrew my fingers instead.
“You auctioned your virginity.” The thought enraged me. If I hadn’t realized she was going to Madame V, she could have ended with any other vampire.
“I told you already that it was a mistake, and I changed my mind,” she said, rage coloring her rebuke.
“It wouldn’t have mattered with another man.”
Marcello could have been forcing himself upon her at the very moment. As the unbidden image formed in my mind, fury as bitter as the most poisonous venom gripped my chest, and I leaned away from her.
Stella was still panting, although her arousal had transformed into anger.
“But it matters to me.” I passed a hand through my hair. “I can’t have you—”
“You don’t want to have sex with me?” Stella asked, her eyes lingering on my crotch.
My tented pants were answer enough, but she needed the spoken words. “I want to slam into you and make you scream my name as I bite your throat, again, and again, and again.” I dropped my elbow across the mantelpiece, anchoring myself. “That is what I want.”
Her expression blanched. She gulped, opened her mouth to talk, took in a long breath, and shook her head as her hand went to her neck.
“I am a vampire.” I waved a hand at myself, encompassing my body from head to toe. “Sex and blood go hand in hand where I’m concerned.”
“And what if you hadn’t noticed I was a virgin—”
I couldn’t help but laugh, but it was humorless. “Oh, even if you weren’t as tight as you are, I would’ve noticed as soon as you bled.” I tapped my nose. “And there’s nothing more potent than virginal blood to stir vampire bloodlust.”
Stella looked at me, slightly shaking. “I’m not sure I understand what you are talking about.”
“I am barely keeping myself together as it is—” In fact, the lingering scent of her arousal was driving me crazy. “Do you know what would happen if I let myself go?” I moved toward her, and she was smart enough
to flatten herself against the sofa, raising both feet to the cushion. “It would be rough. The bloodlust controls me, and I can only want for more until I’m sated.” I kneeled by the sofa, my hand reaching for her foot. “It could go on for hours. Would you like that for your first time?”
Breathing fast, Stella shook her head.
I caressed her feet, my whole body stirring at her closeness, but she had to understand how dangerous I could be to her, even if I would have killed myself before consciously hurting her. Still, I wouldn’t have a say if my bloodlust was triggered by her virginal blood.
“I don’t think I would like that at all,” she finally said.
“I thought so.” I removed my hand and walked away again, my body as stiff as concrete. I could feel her eyes on my back, and when I turned, she was staring at me, hugging herself even tighter.
“So, since I’m a virgin, we aren’t going to have sex?” she asked, her head resting on her bent knees. Cascading over her shoulders, her hair spilled out of her high chignon. Her breasts peeked from beneath her arms when she rearranged her position.
It was going to be a long night.
“Not tonight,” I said, my hardness marking me as a poor liar. “Even if it’s killing me. But if you still want me tomorrow, I’ll make sure to curb my appetites before I take you.”
“What does that mean?” A fiery sparkle made her eyes glow.
“Exactly what you think it does.” I resumed my position at the fireplace. “I would have to feed and find release—”
“You would have sex with another woman before being with me?” She brought both feet down to the floor, her heels hitting the concrete hard.
I breathed long and hard. Not because I needed the oxygen, but because I wanted to stop all this talking and push her down. “I wouldn’t enjoy it.”
She threw her hands up and stood. “I can’t do this.” Leaning, she grabbed her cloak from the floor. “Let me out.”
Chapter Twenty-One
Stella
I couldn’t stay a moment longer in that apartment. I had to get out.
“It’s not safe,” Fabian said. “Malvina is still looking for you.”
“I need air. I can’t breathe here.” It was the truth. My chest was constricted, and I was about to hyperventilate.
I knew it was all my fault. What was I expecting when I accepted his offer to go out with him? Eternal love? Of course not. I knew all along it was a one-night thing. I had been daydreaming about him for so long, and now he was in front of me, like the prince charming he always portrayed in his movies. Stupid Stella for believing that he would be any different from the pervert my aunt had warned me about. All his pretty words had confused me, and I wanted to believe him. The movie star, the vampire who could have anyone, wanted me, and I had wanted him to be my first. And then he had to ruin everything with talk of having sex with another woman before being with me. I knew I had ended in this tangle all by myself, but it was too much to bear.
I was angry at him. I was angry at me. Because after everything was said and done, my body still thrummed for him. The evident proof of his arousal drew my eyes to the front of his black pants, and I couldn’t stop imagining how his hardness would fill me more than his fingers. It was pure madness.
“We need to talk,” he said.
“What else is there to say?” Desperately needing air, I hurried to the window overlooking the vast expanse of the Tyrrhenian Sea. Pale moonlight colored the water silver. Several meters below the castle’s wall, white crests were the only indication that the sea wasn’t as placid as it looked. I opened the window and listened to the rhythmic sound of the waves crashing against the shore. I closed my eyes to center myself. Then he spoke, and I couldn’t help but turn and look at him.
“I should’ve forced myself to tell you everything from the beginning, but my control over the situation kind of snowballed to hell from the moment I kissed you. Then I couldn’t keep my hands off you,” Fabian said, his gaze lowering to his pants. Would he ever soften? It must have been painful.
Was he feeling the same tightness I felt between my legs? The silk of my gown chafed my taut nipples, but I knew that if I flattened my hands against them, I wouldn’t feel any better. Only his hands would soothe this uncomfortable feeling that was growing under his heated stare. “Say what you need to say.”
“I knew you went to see Madame V, and I imagined why—”
“How did you know?”
“You lost Madame V’s business card when you entered the taxi the other day. I found it—”
“You talked with Madame V.” Cold chilled my bones, but I didn’t move from the window.
“I did. I needed to know why you visited her agency.”
“And why is that?”
“This is going to take much longer if you keep interrupting me.”
I closed my eyes to inhale the sea salt-saturated air, then gestured for him to continue.
“I’ve been looking after you for a while. I knew you were about to lose your house and that you had no recourse. I was worried you would end up doing something drastic, like asking for money from a moneylender or becoming a courtesan, and I was right. I told Madame V that if you were to auction yourself, I wouldn’t let anyone else have you. She asked me why and I told her the truth—”
I didn’t say anything. My heartbeats echoed loud in my ears, and my head swam. Fabian Laurentis did this to me; he reduced my brain cells to lukewarm soup with just his voice and the intensity of his gaze.
“—that I would’ve never let you sell yourself to save your house.” His green eyes had a hazel shine, and his body was taut like violin strings ready to snap.
“Why?” I sounded like a broken record.
“Because I can’t remove you from here.” He pressed his hand against his chest, over his heart. Then his hand slid toward his belt. “And I can’t stop thinking of you long enough to feel relief. I ache for you. Night and day. While I am on set, working. While I’m letting another woman’s mouth where I only want yours.”
“I don’t want to listen to this.” I leaned out of the window. The wet breeze bathed my face, and goosebumps rose over my sensitive skin.
“I’m not done,” he said, his voice getting closer.
Then I felt him behind me. Not touching, just standing a few centimeters from me. Yet, it felt as if his hands were on my shoulders, sliding up and down.
“I’ve known you for a long time—”
I didn’t turn. I couldn’t trust myself when he was so close. “What do you mean?” I whispered, fearing that his answer would finally be too much.
“You don’t remember me?”
I shook my head. Unbidden, memories of night terrors came back to me. I tried to push them away.
“The night your parents died—”
“Don’t.” I never talked about that night. I didn’t let myself think of that night.
“I need to tell you.”
The weight on my chest intensified. Darkness lurked at the edge of my vision. I couldn’t see anything. Soon, I wouldn’t be able to breathe.
“That night, I was there,” Fabian said.
I shook my head, tears already streaming down my cheeks. Automatically, my hand went to the twin scars; I could never remember when or how I had got them. “They had a car accident.” How many times had I repeated those words? Long enough to believe them. Long enough to forget they weren’t the truth. The scars hurt under my touch.
“I arrived too late to save them, but you were still alive—”
In an instant, memories I had repressed under a heavy lid, buried deep inside my mind where I would never find them again, were back. Shrieks, screams, the coppery scent of blood, pain, and darkness hit me all at once as if I were there. “No—” I was screaming. Then or now? Cruel laughter filled my ears. Then or now? Strong arms circled my waist. Then or now?
It was finally too much. I wanted the darkness to sweep over me and take me away. But I didn’t lose cons
ciousness. That was too much to ask.
“I gave you my blood. I couldn’t let you die. I closed the puncture marks.” A gentle touch brushed the scars, then rested on my hand at my throat. “I waited for the house in front of yours to go on the market so that I could be closer to you. I never left Rome, so that I would be near if you needed me. I couldn’t let you go, so I waited for you.”
“No,” I repeated, my legs sagging under the weight of a truth that was worse than my nightmares. “Let me go.”
“I can’t. Not yet.” His arms kept me from collapsing. His breathed words against my ear forced me to stay awake. “I’m bonded to you, through my blood.”
A strangled moan escaped my throat.
“I’m sorry I’m hurting you, but you need to know everything before I release you.” His hold softened, then his hands spanned over my stomach, his fingers splayed against my gown, bunching the silk. “That night, you and your family were attacked—”
His voice brought me back to a place I swore never to visit again, not even in my memories. But here they were, as fresh as if I were there…
****
“Dad, I want Mondi’s savory pastries,” I whined from the backseat of our Jaguar. The leather was brand new, and I trailed my fingernails up and down the firm cushion.
“Mondi is out of the way, and we are late, principessa.” Dad called me princess when I was unreasonable, like now, but his tone was always kind, and he only meant to remind me I was indeed a princess, and I should act accordingly.
“Tell you what, love, if you get an A on your next test, I’ll take you to Babington’s instead, just you and me. What do you say?” my mom asked, turning slightly to look at me from the front seat. Her dark-auburn hair was styled in a simple up-do that set off her delicate traits and her fair skin and blue eyes.
I loved everything about her and wished I had her eye color, but I took from my dad’s side, all legs and mousy hair. Not that Dad wasn’t handsome; he was Prince Colonna after all, and all my friends at Sacred Heart Prep swooned every time he came to pick me up at school. Still, I wanted to sound and look as sophisticated as my British mom. Maybe I should have started by being less of a spoiled brat. I was old now, sixteen in a week, and couldn’t wait for my birthday party. Mom and Dad would be flying me and six of my BFFs to London to her Ducal home. I would have a ball for my coming out to society. How splendid was that? I thought in English, working on my accent.
Desired: A Vampire Blood Courtesans Romance Page 10