“Sorry, dude,” I said. “You okay?”
He shook his head, glaring at me like I’d just killed his dog or something.
“Dude, it’s no big deal,” I said, holding a hand up.
He shook his head again and ran out, and I wasn’t sure, but I think I saw a tear beginning to pop out of the corner of his eye.
“Damn, what was that about? Was that an ex of yours?”
“Oh, hell no. That boy’s way too young for me. I don’t know what his problem was.”
“Well, I bet he’s not coming back for a while now,” he shrugged. “Wanna finish?”
“Sure, why the hell not?” I said, sitting back down with a smile.
He beamed up at me, his hands reaching for my zipper again.
CHAPTER 26
FINN
“Give me another,” I said, my words slurring, the bartender weaving in front of me.
“Kid, you’ve already had three,” he said.
“This is a private party,” I said. “It’s not your job to police anyone.”
“Fine,” he said, shaking his head as he slid the goblet full of whiskey across the bar. I’d been pounding it ever since I’d walked in on Daine and Mario. I couldn’t erase the image of the two of them from my head and I figured if I just kept drinking, I’d get there.
All I could do was hope it wasn’t engraved on my brain.
My eyes kept traveling over to the entrance to the pool house and they still hadn’t come out. Part of me was disgusted and the other part was glad.
I didn’t know how I’d ever face Daine again.
First of all, I’d had no idea he was gay. That fact alone was going to be hard enough to deal with, but now I had to see it first hand? Why the hell had I even gone in there?
God’s punishing me, I thought, that’s what’s going on. He’s mad I left Oklahoma. I should have stayed there and become a pastor, like Mama wanted, instead of running off and chasing some stupid dream that obviously wasn’t going to come true, at least not in the way I imagined.
Everything was fucked.
“Give me another!” I barked. Heads turned my way, but I didn’t care. I didn’t care about anything anymore. I swung away from the pool house, determined to find something else to focus on, but my arm swept past a group of glasses, knocking them to the floor in a loud crash.
Blaze stepped up out of nowhere, his huge hand gripping my bicep.
“Dude, are you okay?”
“I’m fucking fine,” I said.
“Maybe you should go lay down, huh? Looks like you had a little too much too fast. Want me to help you over to the pool house?”
“No!” I shouted, my voice high with panic.
“Damn, dude, alright. Just stop breaking shit, okay?”
“Sorry,” I muttered, holding onto the bar. Blaze gently pushed me back onto a barstool. “Thanks.”
“Just chill for a bit. Drink some water.”
“Sure,” I said.
He leaned over and said something to the bartender, and a glass of water and a cup of coffee appeared in front of me minutes later. I sipped the coffee, trying to calm my thoughts.
I desperately needed to get my shit together.
Okay, so he was gay. That was the first thing I needed to wrap my head around. I’d grown up around a strict evangelical community, and accepting homosexuality wasn’t a popular mindset. But I was young. Much more modern thinking. I didn’t condemn people for the choices they made, and even if my views went against the views of everyone I’d ever known in my life until I’d moved away, I knew better than to judge people.
I’d even tried to convince Mama of that towards the end, but she wasn’t interested in changing her mind about anything. She was so set in her ways, it wasn’t even worth trying.
But this was so much more confusing than him being gay.
What did all this mean?
Was I wrong?
Should I never have come here?
I was beginning to think I’d made the biggest mistake of my life.
A waitress walked by with a tray full of champagne, and I grabbed one of the glasses, ignoring the glares from the bartender beside me.
If I couldn’t make sense of it, why even try?
CHAPTER 27
HARLEY
Blaze was a perfect gentleman all night.
Which was the problem. I didn’t want a gentleman, not really. I wanted someone who would grab my ass when nobody was looking. Someone who would reach under my skirt under the dinner table and slip a finger inside of my panties. Someone who’d push me into a bathroom and show me how hungry he was for my body.
After a few hours at the party, I was bored as hell.
I decided to take matters into my own hands, so to speak.
We sat at a table chatting with Richie and Tillie, who were absolutely delightful and charming. It was obvious why Blaze was so enamored with them, and I could see what good friends they were. It warmed my heart, it really did, but I wasn’t interested in warm.
I wanted to get hot.
I reached under the table and slipped my hand in Blaze’s lap, deftly slipping my hand down the front of his jeans and gripping his cock tightly. His eyes widened and he looked over at me. I smiled innocently, daring him to cry out as I squeezed harder.
He was hard and throbbing in my hand in seconds.
“Would you like to go for a walk?” he asked, his voice steely.
“I thought you’d never ask,” I replied, with a cool smile.
“Guys, will you excuse us?”
“Of course,” Tillie replied. Blaze grabbed my hand and pulled it from his pants. We stood up and wandered away from the table.
“You horny little vixen,” he said, under his breath, staring straight ahead as he led me into the house.
“Me?” I joked.
He leaned down, his lips brushing against my ear as he whispered. “I’m going to fuck you so hard, Harley.”
“It’s about time,” I quipped.
He grabbed my hand and led me up the grand staircase. When we reached his room, he shut the door and pushed me up against it.
“I’ve been dying to touch you again,” he said, his lips crashing into mine. I kissed him back, his lips hot and wet, his tongue searching mine. I reached down, grabbing his cock again and squeezing. He groaned and broke away, pulling me towards the bed.
“No,” I said, stopping in my tracks.
“No?” He asked, raising a brow. “I don’t understand.”
“Not on the bed.”
“Oh,” he said, his eyes lighting up. “Okay, where?”
I gestured towards the window, the curtains pulled shut over it. “Open it.”
“The window? It looks down on the back yard. Everyone in the party will be able to see inside.”
“Perfect,” I replied, staring him down, daring him to refuse.
He looked at me with a crooked smile and then shrugged. “What the hell.” He walked over to the window, threw open the curtains and turned back to me. Behind him, the party was in full swing, a perfect view of the guests mingling and dancing just twenty feet below us.
“You really do like being watched,” Blaze said.
“Does that bother you?” I asked.
“Harley,” he said, reaching down and lifting my chin, his thumb raking across my bottom lip, sending shocks of electric pleasure to my center, “as long as I get to sink into your sweet pussy, nothing bothers me.”
“You’re my kind of man, Blaze,” I said, smiling up at him.
“I’m glad to hear that,” he said. “I’ll be good to you. I can’t stop thinking about you, Harley. About your body, your smile, your eyes. I don’t want anyone else anymore. I just want you. I don’t know how this happened. But I need you to be all mine. Please?”
I smiled up at him, my face frozen into place as I nodded weakly. Why was he saying all this shit? All I wanted him to do was fuck me.
My heart sank.
I should
have known better.
It always happens.
Always.
“Blaze, is there a bathroom close by?”
“Right down the hall, second door on the left.”
“Be right back.” I reached up and kissed him gently, before walking out of the room, down the stairs and out the front door. By the time I got to my car, frustration had built up in me.
I really liked that one, I thought.
I thought he might be different.
I was a fool.
A complete and utter fool that never learned.
I drove home with a heavy heart, ignoring the phone buzzing in my handbag.
CHAPTER 28
DAINE
Drunk and happy, amongst friends.
That’s how everyone should spend their birthday, right?
“Speech, speech, speech!” Fox and Richie chanted as everyone gathered around to toast me at the end of the night.
“Okay, okay,” I said, swaying. I reached out and put a hand on a chair to steady myself, lifting my drink and nodding. With a sweeping gaze, I took in the crowd, the sheer volume of familiar faces bobbing around filling me with glee. “First of all, I can’t believe all of you showed up. But this only proves you fools will do anything for free booze!”
The cheers exploded and I laughed, waiting for them to die down before continuing.
“But seriously, I’m so grateful for all of you. Richie and Tillie, the two of you have changed my life. Blaze and Fox, y’all are the best friends a guy could ask for.” I stopped, tears stinging my eyes. “Not to get all mushy on you, but I don’t have any family. My folks won’t have anything to do with me, and I’ve had to create a family out of friends. It’s a hard life, sometimes. But I get by. Because of you, because all of you are my family now. I don’t know what I’d do without —.”
“Bullshit!” A voice called from the back of the crowd.
“What?” I muttered.
“You’re a fucking liar,” the voice slurred.
“What the fuck?” I said, my anger rising. “Who is that?”
The crowd parted like a curtain, revealing a drunken Finn swaying precariously and shaking a finger at me.
“What the hell are you talking about, kid? You’re drunk.”
“I might be drunk,” he shouted, “but you’re a liar!”
“What the hell are you blabbering about?”
“You have a family.”
“What do you know about it?”
“I know you have a son.”
I burst out laughing, shaking my head. “Dude, I’m gay.”
“So what?”
“Look, kid, you’re drunk. You need to go sleep it off.”
He stumbled forward, stopping in front of me. I cringed.
“You smell like a fucking distillery,” I said.
“My mother’s name was Rachel O’Brien.”
“Okay…” I said, shaking my head. The kid was clearly pissed and I just wanted to get away from him. I didn’t give a shit what his mother’s name was. I turned to walk away but he grabbed my arm, stopping me.
The party stopped, all eyes turned our way.
“You dated Rachel when you were sixteen,” he slurred. “She moved to Oklahoma shortly afterwards. You never saw her again, but I’m the reason she left. You’re my old man. You’re my father, Daine.”
“That’s impossible!” I said.
“She never told me who you were. She died a few months ago. I went through her journals, and I found your name. That’s why I came here. To find you.”
“Finn, this can’t be true,” I said, my mind spinning.
“Finn, Daine’s gay. He’s never even had sex with a woman,” Fox said, stepping up and quietly trying to diffuse the situation.
“She said you cried afterwards. In her journal. She wrote that. It was your first time, you cried, then you broke up with her and wouldn’t talk to her afterwards. She found out she was pregnant and her folks made her move away. She never contacted you.”
“Finn,” I said, shaking my head, the blood draining from my face. How could he know that? Everything he was saying had happened. It was ancient history, an event I never gave a second thought to, except not to repeat it. It was one night, when I was kid. And although, it was significant enough to make me sure that I was indeed gay, as I’d already suspected even at sixteen, it was not significant enough to think about over the years.
“You had sex with a woman?” Fox asked, looking at me with disbelief.
“He sure did,” Finn said, staring back at me, daring me to call him a liar.
It hit me hard.
His face, looking back at me like a mirror.
The way he moved, the way he walked, the way he fucking talked like he knew everything already.
Hell, the way he bothered me even made sense now.
He was everything in me that I’d tried to escape.
“It can’t be true…” I said, shaking my head.
“It is true. But coming here was a huge mistake, because you’re a total asshole!”
He turned and ran into the pool house, slamming the door behind him. I started after him, but Fox put a hand on my arm to stop me.
“Wait till tomorrow, man. He’s wasted.”
“Right,” I nodded, running a hand through my hair. “What the fuck just happened?”
“Looks like you just became a father. Congratulations.”
“Fuck you, Fox.”
CHAPTER 29
HARLEY
Blaze’s phone calls were easy to ignore, but once he began pounding on my door, I knew I couldn’t avoid him any longer. I flung the door open with an angry scowl.
“What the hell, Harley?”
“Blaze, just leave me alone, okay?”
“Why?” he asked. “We were having so much fun.”
“Yes, we were, and you went and ruined it with all that talk.”
“Talk?” he asked, cocking his head. “I thought women liked it when we talked about our feelings?”
“Didn’t I tell you not to compare me with other women?” I asked.
“Can I please come in?”
He looked so sad and lost standing there, and I couldn’t help but feel sorry for him. He’d obviously gotten attached and that was bad news. But I couldn’t find it in myself to be mean to him.
“Fine,” I said, stepping to the side. He walked in and turned to me, flashing those puppy dog eyes my way.
“Harley, you said you don’t play games.”
“I don’t.”
“Well, neither do I, not anymore. And I don’t know what the problem is, but I was just being honest with you.”
“And I’m going to be honest with you, okay? I told you not to get possessive and that’s what you did. It’s an instant turn off, Blaze. I’m not ‘yours’ and I’ll never belong to you. I belong to me. I don’t have time to belong to anyone.”
“That’s it? That’s the problem? That’s why you left?”
“Yes, all that talk of not dating other people, or whatever nonsense you were babbling about.”
“Fine, fuck whoever you want.”
“I will,” I assured him.
“And I’ll fuck whoever I want.”
“Fine.”
He stared down at me, his eyes a storm of emotion.
“Dammit, Harley, you drive me crazy.”
“I can’t help that.”
“I don’t want you to help it! I just — I just — I don’t know what to do with you!” he shouted.
I lifted my chin, a slow smile spreading across my face.
“Just fuck me, Blaze. That’s all I want. Is that too much to ask?” I asked.
He groaned, shaking his head, passion raging in his eyes.
In a flash, he grabbed my face, his lips crashing into mine in a fiery, violent assault. I kissed him back, melting into his embrace. As long as he wasn’t talking about commitment, he was absolutely fucking perfect. My hands ran over his sculpted biceps, my
pussy soaked in desire.
A second later, he broke away, his deep blue eyes intense and dilated.
“I’m gonna fuck you until you beg me to stop,” he growled.
Nodding slowly, my entire face lit up with happiness.
“That’s better,” I whispered.
“Good,” he said.
“Lillian!” I yelled.
She appeared instantly, greeting us with a submissive curtsy.
CHAPTER 30
FINN
The bus station smelled like piss. I slung my backpack over my shoulder and moved away from the stench, hoping to find an empty bench, so I could drown in my sorrows alone. After waking up from my drunken stupor, and allowing the memory of what I’d done last night wash over me in the shower, I’d gathered my things and snuck out without saying goodbye to anyone.
I’d left Tillie a quick note of thanks, because the manners Mama instilled in me were apparently something I couldn’t shake, even during intense moments of humiliation.
Once, when I was a teen, I was at the neighborhood swimming pool and as I’d come up from a dive, my swim shorts had succumbed to the strength of the water, and I popped up out of the water completely exposing myself to a crowd of girls nearby. Until now, that was my most humiliating moment.
Not only had I managed to get disgustingly drunk, but I’d spilled the truth in front of everyone, like a fool. I couldn’t have picked a worse time to tell Daine that I was his son.
And his reaction? Well, it couldn’t have been worse either.
I groaned as I sat down, holding my head in my hands as the memories hit me again. All I wanted was to get out of here, go home with my hat in my hands, and pretend this trip never happened.
I could just hear Mama’s voice in my head, telling me she told me so, even though she didn’t. Not in real life. In my head? Hell, she’d been yelling that to me since the day I’d arrived.
I’d begged her to tell me who my father was for years.
Now I knew why she didn’t.
Apparently, my father was a complete and utter prick. She was right. I was better off without him in my life.
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