by Liz Lovelock
Geesh, she keeps coming with the inner reflections.
When she stands from the table, collecting our plates, I sense eyes on me. Looking up, my eyes meet those deep blues once again. Butterflies swarm in my tummy.
“What do you do when you’re not here, in Canyon Bay?” Seth asks. He stretches back in his seat, awaiting my reply.
“Nothing now. I lost my job and came here to have a bit of a break.” My head drops as my fingers begin straightening the already tidy table cloth.
“What did you do?”
“Nothing. Dated my boss.”
Seth snickers, my head shoots up and he wears a mischievous grin. When he catches me glaring, he stops quickly, clearing his throat. “Oh. It wasn’t what I meant, but okay.” He chuckles again. I want to slap the smile off his face for laughing at me. I already feel silly because firstly I took Seth’s question the wrong way, and secondly, I told him I slept with my old boss. Good one, Chloe.
How embarrassing. Now he probably thinks I’m one of those chicks who sleep with her boss to get ahead.
“What work did you do?” he continues.
“I was admin assistant and occasionally would cover for the boss’s personal assistant when she was on holidays or sick,” I respond, still mortified from my previous stupid moment.
“Oh yeah? So, you have some business knowledge?”
“I did study a Certificate Three in Business Management—finished it last year. I was hoping to move up in the company I was working for, but hey—life gave me a different path to follow.
“You could totally run this business, but the question is, are you ready to stay?”
Can I stay? At least no one here knows me. It’s a fresh start.
“I don’t know. Probably, since I don’t have anything holding me to the city.”
“What about your family or friends?” His question balks me. I don’t want to answer. I open my mouth, ready to respond and change the subject when Sherri walks out with two plates of my warm apple crumble.
“Don’t go scaring her off, Seth, I’d like her to stay. Wouldn’t you?” she scolds placing plates in front of us. It smells delicious. Mmm . . . Warm apple crumble, with ice-cream.
“Wasn’t my intention, Nan, and of course I’d love her to stay,” he responds as he puts a piece of pie in his mouth. He even makes eating pie attractive. I watch his lips, wondering what they might feel like on mine.
Shaking my head, I take a take a bite of the food on my spoon. It’s divine.
“This is beautiful, you do have a knack for baking.” Sherri smiles, taking another bite of her dessert.
“Oh, thank you. I’m sure I’m not as good as you, but I try and I enjoy it,” I respond.
“Homemade is always the best, dear. This is what I once did all the time—baked. I miss it.”
“Why did you close your business?”
She pauses and places her spoon down, her eyes meeting mine. “We had some family issues to deal with and I couldn’t do it all.” A small, sad smile plays on her lips.
“Oh, okay. Sorry.”
“It’s okay, dear. Think about our offer and we can go from there. I do hope you’ll consider our proposition.”
“I promise I’ll think about it. It’s a wonderful opportunity and I thank you so much for considering me to be a part of it.” I reach over and give her hand a gentle squeeze.
I’m truly grateful for the chance they are giving me, I wouldn’t get another opportunity like this again. I think my mind is already made up.
The night wore on and before I realised it, it was time to go. Sherri was getting a little tired.
“Thanks so much for a wonderful night.” I wrap my arms around her, thanking her.
“It was my pleasure. I look forward to seeing you again soon. Please remember to think about what I asked.”
“I will. Thank you.”
“Get her home safely, Seth.”
“You know I will, Nan. Go rest, and I’ll take care of the cleaning when I get home.” He pecks her on the cheek and walks out, waiting on the steps for me.
I go to follow, but Sherri takes hold of my wrist. “Dear, he doesn’t need to come home.” She winks.
My face heats up, and I’m speechless.
“Come on, my lady.” Seth sticks his head back through the door and must notice my bright pink face. “What did you say, Nan?”
“Nothing, dear,” she coyly answers before turning back into the living room. I’m left with my mouth hanging open.
“Come on then, slow poke.”
At first we silently walk back the way we came.
“So, the boss fired you ’cause you were bad in bed?” he asks.
Great . . . The conversation topic I don’t ever want to speak of with Seth. “Ah . . . No, he never complained when we were together, let’s just say that. He was a douche anyway. Replaced me with his newest flavour of the month.”
His laughter fills my ears briefly, I can’t help but follow suit. A moment later, after our giggles have subsided, Seth surprises me with his response. “He doesn’t deserve you then.”
“Yeah, this is what I’ve been told,” I agree.
Our playful banter continues the whole way home. Seth walks me to my door and waits for me to unlock it and turn on a light.
“So why did you come to live with your nan?” I ask the question again. I probably shouldn’t ask about his family but I’d like to know.
He sighs, rubbing his hand down his scrunched face. “Why do you have to know?”
Ouch. His words sting. “Sorry, I was curious. Sherri’s words got me thinking.” I shrug in reply.
“It’s hard to talk about . . . It’s something we struggled with for a long time.” He shoves his hands in his jeans pockets, glancing down, I notice he avoids looking at me.
I step into his personal space. My hands have a mind of their own as they place themselves on his face. His eyes shoot to mine, alarmed, but only for a second before they turn soft and heated.
Seth’s hand comes up and tucks a free strand of hair back into place. As I lean in, our noses almost touching, his breathing hitches. Looking deep into his eyes, I promptly step back, grinning. I ask, “How does it feel to be left hanging?”
“Well, how does this feel?” Within seconds he’s in front of me again. Gently he places his hands on either side of my face before he slowly runs his thumb across my bottom lip. Tilting his head has our mouths pressing gently together. Within seconds, the pressure he’s applying intensifies and I instinctively relax my mouth, inviting his tongue to commence its invasion . . . He doesn’t hesitate in doing so. I’m lost in this moment of heated desire. Our kiss doesn’t last long, but it’s enough to have me craving more. Seth’s forehead rests against mine, and I close my eyes and relish the tingling sensation left behind after his departure. Wow! . . .
“Goodnight, my lady,” he whispers, before turning and walking away, leaving me gob smacked.
Damn! Way to make an impression.
My plan to keep away from guys has seriously backfired. Big time.
It’s been a week since Seth and I had our encounter, and it’s played on my mind in between the whole dad thing. But I still don’t think I’m ready for anything. We haven’t caught up since the kiss; I haven’t even taken my car in to get the tyre replaced. Seth rang me two days ago, informing me my replacement wheel was here. He mentioned nothing about our heated moment. The thought of it alone still steals my breath. I’m going stir-crazy not seeing him and being caught up in his spell. His voice over the phone was hypnotising and I found myself in a daydream of our kiss while he told me to come in and get the tyres changed. I don’t remember much of the conversation.
My phone has slowly settled down. Crystal still messages me at least once a day, apologising. A part of me wants to reply and see what kind of explanation she can come up with—another part wants to rip into her and just yell profanities in her face. Yelling is always a great release; it cleanses your soul
of all the hatred and unhappiness you might be feeling. Unfortunately, it only lasts for a short period.
Today has been another relaxing day. After two days, I finally worked up the courage to face Seth and take my car in to get the new tyre put on and the spare chucked in the back. I went in with the sensation of bubbles popping wildly in the pit of my stomach and, high hopes of seeing Seth again, but was let down when a different guy, Chance, came out. He’s chirpy and from what Sherri mentioned last night in conversation, he could be fun to be around. She’d rang me to see if I’d made my decision, but instead we talked about other things. I enjoyed hearing stories of when Seth was younger and the trouble he and Chance would get into. Although I didn’t imagine Chance would be almost as delicious looking as Seth, with his sandy blond hair and ocean blue eyes, well defined arms, pretty much a surfer dude, he came close. Seth wins that competition, hands down.
“Ya know he’s not here, right?” I’d been caught off guard by his statement.
“Umm . . . sorry?” My eyes dropped down to Chance on the ground, fitting my tyre.
“Seth. He’s not here today.”
“Oh, I wasn’t looking for him.” Ah, yes, I had been, and I was totally sprung. My eyes had darted around the shed and kept falling back to the door, waiting for him to strut through in his true Captain America style. Chance gives me the ‘nice try, lady’ look. I’m a terrible liar.
“Sure, sure. He’s mentioned you recently.”
My interest has been piqued. “Oh, has he now? All good I hope.”
He’d grinned, as he’d finished the job and stood to face me. “All the good stuff, sweetheart.”
After paying, I’d left to soak up more rays on the beach. Canyon Bay is beautiful. I was up early this morning to watch the sunrise. It was stunning, relaxing, and gave me a sense of peace and belonging.
Since Mum informed me Dad was possibly not my father, the feeling of not belonging has weighed heavily on my shoulders. Dad says no matter what, I’m his daughter, and this is all that matters to him, but what about me? Do I want to find my real father? Will I be disappointed if I do? Or can I be happy with the man I thought was my dad and maybe forgive Mum for her lies? So many questions are continuously turning over in my head.
One day, hopefully soon, I’ll be able to become the bigger person and forgive Mum.
The daylight is fading, the evening colours of orange and pink light up the sky. Maybe I won’t ever leave. Sherri’s proposal has been in my thoughts. I have nothing else going on, and who knows what the future holds?
Out of nowhere, an idea springs into my mind—a seriously crazy idea. My heart pumps with anticipation. Leaping from my chair, I resolve that living my life on the safe side is dull and I’m over it. Now it’s time to reassess everything. Now is the time to take wild chances and see if things can be better on a darker, wilder side of living. Moving to this beautiful place was the first step and now it’s time for the second step in my plan. Racing down to the almost dark and empty beach, I drop my towel and begin stripping off my clothes. I can’t believe I’m about to do this. It’s something I’ve only ever thought about doing—now I’m going to give it a go.
Skinny-dip in the ocean—what the hell am I thinking?
An energised thrill spreads throughout my body. I’m completely naked, and the breeze kisses my skin like a soft caress. The weather isn’t cold, but it’s not scorching either; it’s perfect beach weather. Leaving my clothes in a scrunched-up pile on the sand, I run the short distance into the water.
My bare feet covered by the salty water, I slowly descend farther into the ocean until it splashes at my waist. It’s such a freeing feeling, the water swirling around my bare body. My face hurts from smiling so hard.
All my life I’ve wanted to do this—to know what it feels like. Tonight, I decided that I’ve been missing out on something exhilarating and freeing. Diving under the water, I soak my hair, the coolness refreshing my senses.
As I lie back and float, looking at the stars that are beginning to shine, it feels magical. There are small swells in the water rocking my body and I lie on the surface of the water. There are no waves; it’s flat and perfect, and I feel free and alive. It’s something I want to experience more.
I’m unsure of how long I float in the water. The night is solid black now, with only the reflection of the full moon glowing on the ocean and lighting my way back to the cottage. Flicking my legs down, I realise I can’t touch the sandy bottom like I could just minutes ago. My heart fills with alarm. Where is the cottage?
My chest is tight with fear as I fight to breathe. In all the excitement of feeling free, I’m now so far out I struggle to see the shore.
I hear something in the distance, coming from a dim light in the distance, which I’m hoping is the cottage. Unable to make out what the sound was, I begin screaming for help.
My attempt to swim towards the shore is a struggle. I’m fighting against a rip that keeps pulling me back out to sea. Oh, my gosh. I’m going to die out here, naked.
“Help me, please!” I continue to cry out in the hope someone will hear me. Fear takes an iron grip on my chest.
My arms and legs become tired with the constant struggle against the rip in the ocean, pulling me farther from my happy place. I don’t know how long I’ve been calling out or treading water, waiting and hoping for someone to find my pile of clothes on the shore.
Another voice sounds, so I cry out again. Now my tears mix with the sea. Breathing is a struggle. I can barely keep my head above water. I need to calm down, but my attempts are useless. My legs keep seizing up on me with cramps and my arms are like lead weights slowly pulling me down into the depths of darkness.
This is it—I can feel it. My life will be lost to the sea. My tired legs stop. My arms cramp and are unable to hold me up. I sink, sink into the abyss.
Closing my eyes, I see Seth’s face behind the lids. His charming smile and twinkling steel blue eyes. Why aren’t you here saving me? I want to scream at him, but I have nothing left within me. No more fight. Just darkness.
“Oi, pretty lady, you around?” I call and knock on the door for the millionth time. Where could she be?
Her car sits in the driveway; perhaps she went for a walk. I make my way around to the back, just in case she’s fallen asleep on the deck bed. Now that would be a sight to see. When I first laid eyes on Chloe screaming profanities at her car, it was the highlight of my day. Even though she had red splotches of anger on her cheeks, she was still gorgeous. Her face is what I see every night before I go to sleep. Those beautiful brown eyes and her laughter are things that make me want her more. They also keep my darkness at bay.
There is sadness in her eyes. I saw it the first day I met her on the side of the road—not because she was crying though. It went deeper. And Nan saw it as well. I remember when I came home that night, she told me a new girl had moved into her cottage. I knew whom it was right away; it excited me. I couldn’t wait to get to know her. I never told her about Nan or that she would be seeing me again, I wanted to surprise her, to put a smile on her beautiful face. But she has walls, walls she’s erected around herself to protect her heart. She’s obviously been hurt in some way. I’m content we’re building a friendship, and finding a level of trust, but that kiss . . . those soft tender lips . . . I need more, so much more. The secrets she’s protecting–the ones she’s holding close to her chest–I want to be privy to them. I want to know who’s hurt her and what can be done to repair the damage she’s endured. If I can help her overcome the bad experiences she’s encountered by providing her with happiness that alone would be enough.
“Pretty lady!” I continue to call as I walk around the back, only to find it bare as well. Where is she?
From out in the darkness or the ocean, a high-pitched scream echoes through the night, and my chest tightens with fear. Who’s that?
“Hello? Chloe!” I raise my voice louder as I sprint down to the darkened shoreline.
> Another cry for help pierces the blackness of the night. It definitely came from the water. It’s her—it must be. Adrenaline kicks into overdrive, and I strip off my shirt and shoes. I run so hard into the water, it splashes back over me.
“Chloe!” I yell out with everything I have in me, hoping she can hear me and knows I’m coming. What the hell is she doing out here at night?
Bringing my hands out in front and diving into a wave, I kick my legs so hard, they push me out into the dark sea. Splashing up ahead catches my attention. I swim as hard as I can towards it before I lose her. The rip in the water pulls me with it, making it slightly easier for me to reach her. It’s a good thing I worked as a lifesaver through the summer as a teenager while I studied to become a mechanic.
Another splash. I’m closer. I hope I’m not too late. A piercing silence falls over the ocean, so I stop swimming to look around. My stomach twists when I see her head, lit by the moon, slipping silently under the water.
“Chloe! Swim!” I beg, hoping she hears me. My legs thrust hard and my arms pull me closer to her with each stroke. Please hold on, Chloe.
When I get to the area she was in, I dive down with my eyes open. The saltwater irritates them slightly, but I won’t let anything happen to her.
Something lightly touches the tip of my outstretched fingers, and I twist as fast as I can while submerged in water, searching desperately for her. It’s her hand. Reaching out frantically, I tightly grip her fingertip, then adjust it to get a better hold. With all my strength, I pull her up against me. She’s a deadweight in my arms. Please be all right. I wrap my hand around her waist. What the hell? It’s then I realise she’s naked. What was she doing? Maybe it’s a good thing she’s not with it right now.
When I surface, I suck in a gulp of air, filling my depleted lungs. My eyes roam over her face, waiting to see if she is breathing. Breathe . . . I silently beg her. Chloe begins coughing and I release a sigh. Thank goodness, she’s all right. The weight that had been resting on my chest, lifts as her coughing continues.