Impostor Syndrome

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Impostor Syndrome Page 26

by Mishell Baker


  MILLIE

  And now it’s my turn, I guess.

  PAN DOWN, a CLOSE shot as Millie gives her left knee a pat under her neoprene suit.

  MILLIE

  All right. Time to stress-test my hardware.

  PAN TOWARD the western woods. It’s a long way across the clearing.

  The camera begins to move forward. Accelerates, shakes as Millie breaks into a run.

  BRIEF, SHAKY PAN over Millie’s shoulder and up. The guards have spotted Millie, and all four have changed trajectory toward her.

  MILLIE

  The fuck? Not one of them goes for Alondra? She’s going to take this personally.

  We hear Millie’s BREATH as she sprints unevenly across the snow.

  CARYL (V.O.)

  I’m coming out of the prison. I have to stop them somehow.

  MILLIE

  No! You’re visible! You’re supposed to be gone already!

  The camera WAVERS as Millie stumbles slightly.

  CARYL (V.O.)

  I don’t know what else to do. You’re a sitting duck out there in the clearing.

  MILLIE

  It’s fine. I’m almost there.

  She isn’t. There is a shrill WHISTLING sound, and then a flaming arrow THWACKS into the snow about two feet in front of her.

  MILLIE

  Fuck this! Caryl, save me!

  The camera lurches forward even faster.

  CARYL (V.O.)

  I--I believe I can buy you some time, but it means letting the prison guard go. I need Caveat.

  ALONDRA (V.O.)

  It’s okay, Caryl. I used that cord to tie him up while you were opening the door.

  MILLIE

  Well look who turned out to be fucking useful!

  CARYL (V.O.)

  I am impressed, Serrano. Millie, do not slow down, whatever you see.

  MILLIE

  (out of breath)

  Well that’s . . . not at all . . . ominous.

  CARYL (V.O)

  Are you all right, love?

  Millie stumbles again. When she speaks, her voice is choked.

  MILLIE

  Fine . . . just . . . definitely . . . not . . . used to . . . running . . . in snow . . .

  The world begins to grow dark.

  PAN UP to see an apocalyptic-looking purple haze boiling out of nowhere to block the sun.

  The guards panic, forgetting Millie for the moment; two of them crash into each other and nearly spiral to their deaths.

  CAMERA moves forward again, approaching the woods.

  MILLIE

  Jesus Christ, Caryl.

  CARYL (V.O.)

  I learned that from King Winterglass.

  The STANDING STONE is now in sight, a rough obelisk with delicate runes etched into it.

  Millie makes a beeline toward it. Her hand reaches out.

  MILLIE

  I’m here, guys. I’m here!

  The moment she touches it we

  CUT TO:

  EXT. EASTERN STONE

  Alondra is bent over with her hands on her thighs, catching her breath.

  ALONDRA

  Me too. I’m here.

  MILLIE (V.O.)

  Strike a pose, in case any of the guards fly over that way.

  Alondra grins and moves closer to the stone, holding her palm out toward it.

  ALONDRA

  Like this?

  MILLIE (V.O.)

  Perfect.

  CARYL (V.O.)

  The guards are still in a state of confusion for the moment.

  MILLIE (V.O.)

  Elliott, show me Dawnrowan. What’s she doing? Is she watching? We need to deliver her the ultimatum directly.

  INT. QUEEN’S CHAMBER - DAY

  Queen Dawnrowan sits in the window seat, watching Claybriar with tragic eyes as he paces back and forth before her.

  DAWNROWAN

  Do not say that. Why would you say such a thing?

  MILLIE (V.O.)

  (sotto voce)

  Maybe let him finish dumping her first.

  CLAYBRIAR

  You know what I am. I don’t know why the spirits were so cruel as to make a sidhe love a man who can’t love the way sidhe love.

  Dawnrowan rises, moves to him, but stops just short of touching him.

  DAWNROWAN

  And what way can you love me? Let me inside your mind. I have no skill at talking in this way.

  CLAYBRIAR

  I told you, I can’t do that!

  He tries for anger, but it suddenly twists into despair.

  He falls on his knees before her, curling his hands into her skirt, hiding his face. She lays a hand on his head, then slowly kneels so that she is at his level. She gently turns his face so that he must meet her eyes.

  DAWNROWAN

  Then so be it. Whatever limits you place on love, I must accept. For me, there will only ever be you.

  He looks at her, lost. She closes the distance between them, cradling his face in her hands as she--

  MILLIE (V.O.)

  Show me Shock.

  INT. WHITE ROSE VAULT - DAY

  Shock is loading vials into the Medial Vessel by the handful.

  MILLIE (V.O.)

  Shock, did you get your dad’s vial?

  SHOCK

  Yep, got it first thing. Almost done with the US employees now, and then I’m going to start on Canada.

  MILLIE (V.O.)

  Nice work.

  Shock continues to load vials.

  It’s really not that interesting.

  ELLIOTT (V.O.)

  Millie?

  MILLIE (V.O.)

  Yeah, yeah, I know. Fine.

  INT. QUEEN’S CHAMBER - DAY

  All four of Dawnrowan’s arms are wrapped around Claybriar as they share a kiss worthy of epic ballad status.

  MILLIE (V.O.)

  (sotto voce)

  Oh, fuck me.

  ELLIOTT (V.O.)

  It looks as though you may need to wait in line.

  Sure enough, Claybriar’s hands have already expertly located the fastenings to Dawnrowan’s diaphanous garments. They melt away to the floor.

  MILLIE (V.O.)

  The fuck is up with his timing? I need to be delivering an ultimatum.

  ELLIOTT (V.O.)

  He doesn’t know that. Last he heard was “distract her.”

  Dawnrowan begins to emit some deeply erotic sounds as Claybriar kisses his way down her throat.

  MILLIE (V.O.)

  Well, she’s not the only one distracted.

  Claybriar lifts Dawnrowan into his arms and carries her toward the bed, laying her down on it.

  MILLIE (V.O.)

  Caryl, why are you so quiet? Where are the guards?

  CARYL (V.O.)

  (a little breathless)

  Pursuing me, for the time being.

  Dawnrowan looks up into Claybriar’s eyes, the very picture of adoration.

  DAWNROWAN

  Speak to me. Out loud. As humans do. Tell me you desire me.

  CLAYBRIAR

  I want you. I want you so much.

  He lowers himself onto her, greedily tasting her skin.

  ELLIOTT (V.O.)

  Millie?

  CLAYBRIAR

  You beautiful little slut.

  He grabs a handful of Dawnrowan’s hair, forcing her head back. She gasps.

  ELLIOTT (V.O.)

  Millie, I need to show you--

  MILLIE (V.O.)

  Is Caryl in trouble?

  ELLIOTT (V.O.)

  She’s fine. Leading the guards on a merry chase.

  MILLIE (V.O.)

  Then hush.

  ELLIOTT (V.O.)

  Millie, I can see where your hand is. And we’re about to have a problem.

  MILLIE (V.O.)

  Ugh, fine. Show me.

  INT. WHITE ROSE HALLWAY - DAY

  The guard WHISPERDRIFT moves toward the door at the end of the hall with purpose.

  ELLIOTT (V
.O.)

  She’s heading toward the vault.

  MILLIE (V.O.)

  Shock!

  INT. WHITE ROSE VAULT - CONTINUOUS

  Shock is still merrily loading vials into the bag.

  MILLIE (V.O.)

  Shock, you’re about to have company. Take what you’ve managed to steal and go. Meet me at the western standing stone.

  Shock stuffs the Medial Vessel into the pocket of his jacket, then suddenly changes back to his mantislike fey form.

  MILLIE (V.O.)

  Nice. Now get out of there.

  SHOCK

  No need to tell me twice.

  He heads toward the door.

  MILLIE (V.O.)

  Shock?

  SHOCK

  Yes?

  MILLIE (V.O.)

  Do I want to think too hard about where the Medial Vessel is right now?

  SHOCK

  I would advise against it.

  INT. WHITE ROSE HALLWAY - CONTINUOUS

  Shock emerges from the vault and nearly collides with Whisperdrift.

  WHISPERDRIFT

  Your Highness.

  SHOCK

  Hello.

  WHISPERDRIFT

  You are still here?

  SHOCK

  I had . . . I had some trouble. . . .

  MILLIE (V.O.)

  Shit, he can’t lie.

  CARYL (V.O.)

  Shock, wipe her. Make her forget she saw you.

  WHISPERDRIFT

  You had trouble?

  SHOCK

  I . . .

  ELLIOTT (V.O.)

  Caryl, you will have to release Caveat; I am a bit occupied.

  CARYL (V.O.)

  Caveat is currently the only thing keeping the guards from finding me. Shock, do what you must.

  ELLIOTT (V.O.)

  (direly)

  Shock, do not enslave another spirit. Find another way.

  WHISPERDRIFT

  Your Highness, I am afraid I’m going to need you to come with me. A . . . situation is unfolding.

  Shock starts to back away from the guard, who advances on him.

  CARYL (V.O.)

  Shock, you can’t let them take the Vessel from you, or all of this is for nothing! Cast the spell!

  ELLIOTT (V.O.)

  No, Your Highness. Not until she releases Caveat.

  CARYL (V.O.)

  (panicking)

  I can’t! Shock, just wipe her! Now!

  Shock, also panicking, murmurs a few words in the Unseelie tongue. Whisperdrift stops, looking zombie eyed.

  Shock hesitates, then walks past.

  There is a long, awful silence in which there is nothing but Shock’s FOOTSTEPS echoing through the stone hallway. Then:

  ELLIOTT (V.O.)

  Farewell.

  I found myself alone in a snowy forest, leaning with one hand braced on the standing stone.

  “Elliott?” I said, disoriented by the still emptiness. My voice sounded small as it disappeared into the forest.

  I looked around through the trees, tried to make out what was going on in the clearing. The purple haze was gone from the sky; Caryl must have only needed it to get the guards’ attention.

  What had Caveat been doing to protect her? What was so important that it had been worth what Caryl had done?

  “Elliott?” I said. “If you’re there, please talk to me. This wasn’t my fault. Don’t just leave me.”

  Nothing. A wind hissed through the trees and kicked up little flurries of snow.

  I was on my own.

  36

  The forest was sparse here, and I could still see the Rose itself, towering high above the tops of the skeletal trees. My first impulse was to rush back toward the clearing, to reestablish connection somehow with the people I’d lost. I backtracked nearly to the edge of the woods before common sense told me that this was a terrible idea.

  Shock expected me to be at the western standing stone, and he was the guy with the bag. I had no way to update him about my location. I wasn’t sure how I was going to deliver my ultimatum, but that didn’t bear thinking about. As counterintuitive as it felt, I had no choice but to turn back, disappear into the forest, stand by the stone, and wait for someone to find me.

  Someone did find me mere moments later, but, unfortunately, it was Greyfall. Against snow and white trees, the pale cloudy silver of his wings was an ominous shadow.

  “Don’t take another step closer,” I said, and put my hand on the stone.

  He stopped as though he’d hit a wall, his surprised exhale misting in the air.

  “The Ironbones you took to prison,” I said. “She’s waiting by the other stone. I have a guardian spirit at my command, just as you once did, and if you don’t do exactly what I tell you to do, the spirit will signal her to touch that stone as well.”

  For a moment Greyfall didn’t speak. His jaw worked; I could almost sense the glittery fey blood throbbing in his temple veins. When he finally spoke, his voice was like the crust of ice over old snow.

  “What is it that you want?”

  Right. Demands. I’d need to make them complicated, to give Shock time to find me. I tried to channel my inner Hans Gruber.

  “Glad I have your attention,” I said. “I have six demands. And until you’ve met all six, I am not withdrawing from this stone.”

  Greyfall’s eyes literally clouded over, as though he were about to manifest twin tornadoes from his eye sockets. “What are your demands?” he said.

  “Number one: withdraw all guards from the eastern standing stone immediately.” It really wouldn’t do, after all, if Alondra pulled off a glove and any of them happened to notice that her iron wasn’t “singing.”

  “How am I to give this order?” said Greyfall. “The spell allowing us to communicate has failed, leaving us blind and deaf to one another.”

  Since I couldn’t tell him how much I sympathized, I said, “I apologize for that, but it was necessary. You’ll just have to do it the old-fashioned way and find them yourself.”

  “So it was you.”

  “Of course it was me,” I said. “Surely you know my reputation by now.” I drummed my ungloved fingers on the stone in a way I hoped looked nonchalant, and I was rewarded by a visible cringe. “I destroyed the Bone Harp,” I said. “I destroyed the security systems in London, and I just destroyed the one here, too. Do you really want to find out what else I’m willing to destroy? Go deliver my first demand, and when you come back, we can move on to the second.”

  Greyfall gave me an icy stare, then began to back slowly away. “I will return swiftly,” he said, and then launched himself into the air.

  “Okay, Shock,” I murmured low, like a prayer. “Now’s your cue.”

  The snowy woods remained cold and silent. My hand was going numb, so I tucked it between my thighs. I cursed myself for not bringing a coat like Caryl, but I had never intended to be standing outside in the snow this long.

  “Shock?” I said louder. “If you were hiding from that guard, now’s the time to show yourself.”

  Silence. I was revisited by the almost irresistible urge to leave my post, to go looking for him. But of course the second I did that, he’d manage to make it to the stone.

  I closed my eyes, wrapped my arms around myself, and invented a long list of demands I hoped I would not have to use. The quiet chill of the woods began to seep into my bones. I sympathized with wild fey’s lack of memory; I was starting to forget what warmth and safety felt like.

  When I heard wings beating the air, I looked up, heart accelerating, but it was only Greyfall.

  “All guards have withdrawn from the eastern stone,” he said briskly as he landed, “and the remainder have been notified not to proceed there. What is your next demand?”

  I’d had time, while he was gone, to think of something actually useful. Just as I’d coerced a promise out of Greyfall, I would coerce Dawnrowan to let me escape, or even coerce her into an alliance. In theory there was little
she wouldn’t promise to keep the White Rose safe. But only if I could get her close enough to have a conversation.

  “I need you to convince the queen to come here and speak with me,” I said. “Let her know that at this point ignoring my demands endangers the palace far more than leaving it for a few moments.”

  Greyfall let out a frustrated sigh. “How do I even know, if I meet all of your demands, that you will keep your part of the bargain? You are not the first human I have met.”

  It occurred to me to wonder, since this wasn’t his first expression of mistrust in humans, just exactly how much of an asshole his Echo was.

  “Look,” I said. “Do you think I want to destroy the White Rose? If that were Plan A, it would be done already. How could it possibly benefit me? My Echo is entitled to a throne there! I resorted to trying to steal Her Majesty’s scepter, to threatening the palace, because it’s the only way to scare her enough to listen to me. I won’t do this unless she gives me no other choice.”

  Greyfall seemed to measure me with his eyes, as though he had some sort of arcane lie detector installed. “Very well,” he said finally. “I will continue to meet any reasonable demands, but I expect you to keep your word and retreat from the stone once I have delivered everything you ask. If not, remember that the penalty for harming the queen or her property is death.”

  As the blood drained from my extremities, I suddenly became even more aware of the numbing cold in my fingers where they touched the stone. Where the hell was Shock?

  “And if I do manage to get out of this without destroying the palace?” I said. “What happens to me then?”

  “It depends upon the mercy of Her Majesty,” said the guard. “There will still be a trial, during which we will attempt to ascertain your reasons for—”

  The distant sound of screams distracted him. Me too, to be honest.

  It’s adrenaline, they say, that dilates a moment, lets you watch in slow motion as a car swerves suddenly toward your bike. The instinct is probably meant to make you react faster, give you time to avert your doom. But the problem is that your body is still subject to the laws of time, and sometimes there is nothing you can do but watch.

  I can only guess that the sidhe inside the palace must have felt the lofting enchantments drop, sensed it in a way I couldn’t. That extra sense probably saved their lives.

  Before I even wrapped my brain around what was happening, what shouldn’t and couldn’t be happening, there were already sidhe streaming from the windows and doors of the palace, a mass exodus silhouetted like a flock of crows against the green sky.

  “What . . . ,” I murmured. “Why are they—”

 

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