by Jane Jamison
“Of course not.” Pamela averted her gaze yet again. There was no way she’d admit it to her sister, but she had been surprised. Her sister rarely had anything to do with a man. She knew a lot of it had to do with the scars on her sister’s body, and that hurt her. She’d do anything to take the scars off Mona’s body and put them on our own, but that was impossible.
“Liar,” accused Mona. “But I guess I can’t blame you. You’ve always been beautiful. You’ve always had the attention of every man you’ve ever known. Why would you think anyone would find me attractive?”
Pamela was stunned. She’d known Mona was self-conscious about the scars, but she’d always believed Mona still had confidence to find a man. Plus, she’d assumed her sister had wanted to devote all her time to her own career while helping Pamela’s career take off. Had her sister finally grown desperate enough to fuck three men in a restroom? “Are you kidding me? Don’t you know how I see you? You’re the most beautiful person I’ve ever known. You’re the smartest, the kindest, the bravest person I’ve ever known. Any man would be happy to have you. That’s why I don’t want you hooking up with guys in bathrooms. You deserve better.”
The look in Mona’s eyes softened. “I deserve better? Because if I deserve better, then don’t you? You deserve better than having sex with guys in a pool room.”
Pamela shrugged and took a seat. What was the point of denying what she’d done? Mona sat down, too. “Look, I know I’ve done some stupid things before, but this time was different. This time, it wouldn’t have mattered where I was. These guys are just so…”
Mona finished her sentence for her. “So mesmerizing? Is there something about them that draws you to them? Something you’ve never felt before? Something that’s more than physical? Like they have an invisible chain wrapped around you and are pulling you in?”
Tears sprang to Pamela’s eyes. Mona understood. She really understood. “That’s exactly right. I don’t understand it, but I don’t even care. They told me I’m theirs. They told me they want me for the rest of my life. Can you imagine that? Someone who would want selfish, spoiled me for the rest of their lives?”
Mona was next to her in the flash of a moment, her arms encircling her. “Any man would be happy to have you. Those two are the luckiest guys in the world.” She looked into her sister’s eyes. “So how do you feel? Is there something there between you? Can you see yourself staying with these guys forever?”
Pamela wiped a tear away. “It’s crazy, but I can, even though they are nothing like I want in a man.” Pamela smiled through the tears. “Aside from being crazy sexy, that is. But they’re not rich or famous or any of the things I usually go for. Still, they’re perfect. It’s as though I can see straight into their souls and know that they’re great men. They make me feel safe, excited, and ready for anything. Ready even to give up my career and stay here.”
Mona blinked, her eyes growing wide. “Wow. Then they really must be something amazing.” She took her seat again. “The thing is, that’s how I feel about those guys in the bathroom. I feel as though I’ve known them all my life. Or, rather, as though I’ve waited for them all my life.”
“How can this be happening? But it is. It really is.” Pamela could see it now. Nights out at the bar together, her sister with her men and she with hers. Afternoons sitting on the porches of their homes, gossiping about the neighbors, watching their children play together. She could see a simple life, and for once, that was exactly what she wanted.
“What are your guys’ names again?” asked Mona. “The guys in the bathroom were Troy Wilder, his brother, Barrett, and their cousin, Justin Breckinridge. I know it sounds like I’m being a slut or something, but I just met them like ten minutes before and I couldn’t control myself. I tried to. I tried running into the ladies’ room, but to be honest, I hoped they’d follow me.” She smiled a wickedly happy smile. “And they did.”
“My guys are Will and Dillon Collinsburg. They’re the ones who came to the house with presents.”
“I remember.”
“Maybe it’s this town or these men, but I don’t think the usual rules apply here. There’s something about Forever. Something totally different. More relaxed. Freer. Something that makes me want to be free, too. Free to be whatever I want to be. Free to be myself. Free to be out of the spotlight and away from all the judgmental critics.”
“I think you’re right.” A gleam shown in her sister’s eyes. She nibbled on her lower lip. “Do you think we’re falling in love?”
Pamela had had the same thought. Had, in fact, been sure of it. Still, she never would’ve thought her sister would believe in love at first sight. “And if we are? It’s a good thing, right? Both of us falling in love at the same time? That’s pretty cool, don’t you think?”
“Yeah. I guess it is.” Suddenly, Mona moaned, gripped her stomach, and bent over.
Now it was Pamela’s turn to come to her sister’s side. “What’s wrong? Are you having another of those spells?” Mona got pains every now and then, and they didn’t know why. The pains had started right after she’d been attacked by the wolf. They’d been to an army of doctors, but not one of them could figure it out. As far as the doctors were concerned, she was in perfect shape. Yet something was causing the pain. Or was it all in Mona’s head?
“I’m okay. It didn’t last long.” Mona gave her a small smile, but Pamela could still see that the pain lingered. “Are you sure? Do you want to go to a doctor? Maybe to the hospital?”
Mona shook her head. “No, no. You know it won’t do any good.”
“But they’ve been coming more often, haven’t they?”
“It’s okay, Sis. I’ll be fine.” Mona put her hand over Pamela’s. “So we’re good now? We both screwed up today, but we won’t let it happen again, right?”
Pamela wasn’t about to lie. “I can’t promise it won’t happen again, but I can promise this. Next time, I’ll let you know where I am.” She pointed a finger at her sister. “But you have to promise to do the same thing. You have to tell me where you are. And who you’re with. Deal?”
Mona paused a little too long for Pamela’s liking. “Deal.”
* * * *
Mona kept walking, going as fast as she could through the grass into the pasture. Not for the first time, she glanced back at the house, making certain Pamela wasn’t following her. Since that awful day of the wolf attack, she’d done her best to keep her sister from knowing how terrible the pain was. The truth of it was that, ever since coming to Forever, the pain had grown much worse.
Keep going. I have to get away from the house.
Pamela was beginning to watch her too much. Her sister was growing more suspicious every day. If she was going to keep her secret, she’d have to be extra cautious.
The pain hit her all at once, without mercy. She cried out and fell to her knees as she clutched her stomach.
Please not now. Not now. Please.
She didn’t understand where the pain came from or how to get rid of it. Yet she sensed that whatever was causing her pain could be both dangerous and wonderful. But which would it turn out to be? She cried out as another pain stabbed her in her belly, bringing her to her hands and knees.
Someone, please help me.
Yet she knew there was no one to help her. She couldn’t confide in anyone, especially not her sister. She wouldn’t do that to Pamela. Why make her worry when there was nothing she could do to help? She’d protected her sister all of her life, and she wouldn’t stop now.
Closing her eyes, she summoned all her willpower. The battle was coming. Even if she lost the battle, she was determined to win the war. Yet what was the war about? Her body? Her life?
Stay down. Stay down.
As it had happened before, a growing ache inside her roared to life. If she gave in to it, the pain would become all encompassing. A moan escaped her as yet another pain tore at her, this time taking her to the ground.
She lay on her side as the wo
rld around her changed, losing its color, forms going to an amber color. She felt her teeth sharpen, her nails going from French tips to pointed, claw-like ends. Her body tingled as though tiny bugs scampered over her skin.
What’s happening to me?
She flopped over onto her back and stared at the sky. The night sky came upon her, clouds drifting by, the sun edging toward the horizon. At last, the stars came out to shine. She wasn’t sure how long she’d lain there, but she knew time was running out.
Stay down. Just wait it out.
What she was commanding to stay down, she did not know. Part of her wanted to release it, to finally give in to it, but the fear of doing so kept her from setting it free. If she surrendered, would she survive? Or would she become a different person?
A rabbit skittered past her. Its eyes went wide, its ears pricked forward. She could smell its scent, could smell its fear. The part of her that wanted to rage at being kept down, to run freely, ached to chase after the animal. She would run after it, staying a foot behind it, reveling in its fear. Once she picked up speed, she would take it, her claws ripping through its fur and hide, her ears loving the squeal of its death.
Stay down, she ordered again.
Yet more and more lately, the pain would not heed her demand.
She’d lived with the mutinous feeling, as though her body was fighting itself, long enough. Long enough to have done the research, to have searched for a reason. She could feel her scars throbbing as though they were part of what was inside her trying to get out. Closing her eyes, she saw the wolf that had attacked her and understood that it was linked to her problem. How could it be? How could a wolf have anything to do with the pain? Again, the pain hit her like someone had stabbed her in the stomach. She cried out in both misery and agony.
I will not let the monster inside me free, she vowed.
How she sensed its existence was unknown, but she knew it was there. And just as well, she knew that, one day, she would give in, that she wanted to give in. Yet until she made sure that her sister was safe and well, she couldn’t let go.
Pamela. Think of Pamela.
But this time it was too much. The feeling, the yearning to be set free was stronger than ever. With the greater pain came the greater yearning to let go. If she gave in this time, she’d never fight it back down. And yet a part of her begged her to let go. She moaned then whimpered, the sound reminding her of a puppy pleading for its mother.
Dragging in long, slow breaths, she fought it, pushing it back down, pushing it away as she always had, pushing it away as she always would. One day, she’d let go. One day, she’d find out what it was.
She closed her eyes, and a vision came. Three wolves hovered over her as she struggled to fight back the demon clawing at her insides. Yet, instead of fearing them, she looked to them for comfort.
Let it go.
They seem to speak at the same time as one voice, silently, through her thoughts.
You don’t have to be afraid. It’s all right. You’re one of us. Just let it be.
Oh, how she wanted to do as they said. Oh, how she wanted to believe what they said. But the fear was too powerful. She’d fought it for so long. How could she give up now?
Whirling around together in one smooth motion, the wolves disappeared. She opened her eyes and stared up into the night sky. Realization struck her, taking her breath away.
This can’t be real. I can’t be…
Yet even as she had the thought, even as she tried to deny it, the pain lessened, giving her a brief respite as something inside her howled its victory.
Chapter Nine
“Hurry up,” said Barrett. “There she is.”
Barrett, along with Troy and Justin, had gone into Forever hoping they’d get a chance to see Mona. They’d already gone by the rental house and had found it empty. Had she left for good? Thankfully, that hadn’t been the case. As soon as he rounded the corner from the High Tide Market, he saw Mona on the other side of the street. Justin and Troy were right on his heels as he raced after her.
She turned toward them as they came up behind her. At first, there was a look of surprise then happiness on her face. Then a frown overrode her expression. “Oh, you’re here.”
“Yeah, we are.” He couldn’t keep from smiling. She was even more beautiful in the daylight with the sun streaming through her beautiful brown hair, her light blue eyes sparkling. At once, his cock stood at attention.
She was so captivating that he didn’t notice the first time Troy elbowed him in the ribs. The second time, however, was more forceful and demanded his attention. He scowled at his brother then saw Troy’s expression. Troy tilted his head toward Mona then mouthed the words “She’s different.”
At first, Barrett didn’t understand what his brother was talking about. Then, with one sniff, he knew. She was different. Everything about her was different. Not on the outside, maybe, but definitely on the inside. His eyes widened as he recognized the scent.
She’s changing.
He almost growled when she bit her lower lip. In fact, he could almost taste her lips, her tongue, the flavors in her mouth.
She was nervous, fidgeting with her hands. “Good. I was hoping to see you guys. We need to talk.”
There were other things she could’ve said that would’ve made him happy, but the fact that she was hoping to see them was good enough. Even with the “we need to talk” thing. “Yeah?”
She nodded then continued. “I want to talk to you about the other night at the bar.” She cleared her throat. “About what went down in the ladies’ room.”
“That was the best night of my life,” said Justin. “Of our lives.”
Justin spoke the truth. After that night, Barrett had felt as though he’d finally come alive. They’d waited so long to find a mate, and now they finally had her. If they hadn’t had an emergency on the ranch with several horses coming down ill, they would’ve come to her sooner. Troy had argued that they needed to give her time. Time to think, time to realize she really was feeling the connection.
“It was great, right? Hell, better than great.” He was sure the corners of her mouth had tipped upward at Justin’s remark, but she tried to hide it.
She dropped her gaze to the ground. “It was fun. I won’t deny that, but that’s all it was. Just fun. It—we—can’t be…more.”
To say he was disappointed was an understatement. Yet he wouldn’t let it get him down. “You know it was more than a hookup, darlin’. You know it. You felt the connection between us. You felt it as strongly as we do. Just like you do right now. You belong to us as much as we belong to you.”
Justin stepped forward then stopped when she stepped back. “Our time in the ladies room wasn’t a hookup, if that’s what you’re thinking. Not by a longshot. Don’t try to make it seem unimportant. We’re ready to commit to you, right here, right now.”
She closed her eyes. Her expression softened, yet when she opened her eyes again, a hardness swept the softness away. “Don’t say those things.”
He wouldn’t let her dismiss them. She was their future, whether she wanted to admit it or not. Eventually, she would. He had to cling to that hope. “You want us. Hell, I can smell it on you. You want us so much right now you’d lie down right in street and let us have you.”
There was something else going on with her, pulling her away. “What is it, darlin’? Why are you so afraid to let go? Why are you so afraid for us to love you?”
She laughed, but there was no mirth in the sound. “Don’t flatter yourself. I wanted to have a little fun, and I did. Don’t make it more than it was.”
“Sorry, I’m not buying it. Not one damn bit.” He had to struggle to keep his anger from rising, the werewolf inside him growling, urging him to make her accept them, to take her as wolves had done throughout centuries. He drew in another long sniff to confirm his suspicions. “You’re changing.”
Troy nodded as Justin voiced his agreement. “Hon, you can deny that
anything happened the other night, but you can’t deny what’s happening inside you. Barrett’s right. You’re changing. We can smell it on you. Hell, I’m surprised we haven’t figured it out before now.”
The scent Barrett was picking up mixed with another scent, the one for fear. “Take it easy, darlin’. We can get you through this.”
She took a step back and held up her hands as though to fight them off. “You guys are crazy. There’s nothing going on with me. Nothing except that I need to get away from you.”
Barrett wouldn’t let her turn them down. She was changing, and she’d need their help. “When did it happen? When did you get bitten?” And then he remembered. The scars. She’d said they were from a dog attacking her, but it obvious now that she’d lied. She’d been attacked by a werewolf.
“Mona, that was a werewolf that attacked you, wasn’t it?” He spoke softly, trying to keep the impact from hitting her too hard. Her eyes widened, and her mouth parted.
“You really are crazy,” she said as she backed away again. “Werewolves? What are you talking about? There’s no such thing as a werewolf.”
Yet he could see the belief in her eyes. She wanted to deny everything, not only their love but what was happening to her. “It’s okay. Being a werewolf isn’t so bad. But the transformation is kind of rough. You’re going to need us to help you through it.”
“I am not changing into a werewolf. That’s ridiculous.” Her tone was filled with fear. “You’re trying to confuse me, to scare me.”
“No we’re not.” Justin’s tone had hardened. Amber sparkled in his eyes as his wolf grew frustrated, angry.
“It’s okay, sugar. Barrett’s right. We’ll help you get through it. I can’t say I’m not disappointed thinking that we won’t be the ones to change you, but it’s already done. No matter how you became a werewolf, you’re still our mate.”
Mona shook her head, still moving backward, not looking where she was going. She stumbled, and Barrett was there to catch her. He pulled her into his arms, and she didn’t struggle against him. For a moment, just a moment, she gazed into his eyes, and he saw how much she wanted to trust him. Yet in the next moment, she was struggling against him, pushing out of his arms.