by Kayla Carson
“How are my girls today?” I asked, rubbing my hand over her stomach, and placing a kiss on her forehead.
“Hungry.” She giggled, reaching her left hand up to brush my face.
My own left hand bore a ring that matched hers, and I smiled. “Let's fix that, shall we?”
Dinner was already on the table, as if it had appeared out of thin air. All of her favorites were spread out in front of her, like some kind of buffet. She gave me a sly smile, before sitting down and making herself a plate. “You spoil me Cole Stephens.” She teased.
“You're worth it, Harper Stephens.”
“I still get butterflies when you call me that.” She blushed.
“And you still blush too.”
“Asshole.”
“I never claimed to be anything different.”
It was dark again, and then bright. I realized then, that everything that just happened wasn't real. It was some kind of dream. I couldn't explain it, but I knew that I couldn't fall back into that world, It was too easy. I had always lived by the mantra, nothing worth having is easy. I had to fight. I had to find my way back to the real Harper, so that I could make that dream a reality. I had to try.
Everything hurt. I could hear voices, but my eyes were too heavy to open. I heard beeping sounds, and shuffling feet. It was as if my sense of sound was heightened, trying to make up for my lack of other senses. I thought I heard Harper a few times, but I didn't have the strength to speak. My entire body felt like it weighed two tons. I tried lifting my arms, wiggling my toes, but to no avail. My limbs just weren't working.
I was tired. I slept a lot, and when I was awake, it was only my mind. My body was still to broken to move. I had no way to communicate. I was getting frustrated. I heard Harper's voice clearly now, and I tried so damn hard to reach for her. The monitors started beeping wildly the harder I tried, and the doctor came rushing into my room.
He used his fingers to open my eyes, and shine a bright light into them, I winced. “Mr. Stephens, if you can hear me, blink once.” I blinked, and he smiled. What was wrong with me? Why couldn't I speak? “You have a tube in your throat. It was helping you breathe. Now that you're responsive, we'd like to try and remove it.” I blinked once again, and he nodded his head, signaling for the nurse.
The whole process only took a few seconds, making me cough violently, rasping for water. The nurse was quick to press the straw to my lips, and I drank greedily. My eyesight was a bit blurry, but not nearly as bad as my first go round. “Harper?” I asked, on a whisper.
“I'm here.” She said quietly, stepping beside the doctor.
“She hasn't left your side Mr. Stephens.” The doctor assured me. “I'll give you two a moment, and then I'll come back to do a physical exam.”
“Thank you.” Harper said following him to the door, and closing it behind him.
“What's wrong?” I asked, immediately reading her expression. “Vanessa?”
“She's dead.” She said, looking right through me. “I-I killed her. I'm a monster Cole, just like she was. I'd never even shot a gun before. I just. I was so angry, and she- she was aiming for your head next. I- I had to stop her.” The tears began to fall freely from her eyes, and I instantly regretted asking about Vanessa at all.
“Come here.” I said softly. She obliged, stepping closer to me, placing her hand in mine.
“I thought you were dead. You flat lined twice Cole.” She said, barely audible as a another tear slipped down her cheek. “You've been here for a week. ICU for five days, and in this room for two. The bullet was lodged in your spine. The doctors did everything they could to repair the damage, but..”
“I'm paralyzed?” I asked. “I guess it makes sense now. I felt like I was trapped in my body. I tried to reach you when I heard you, and.. I can feel your hand in mine though.” I wiggled my fingers then, and I watched them move. I lifted my arms, they were heavy, but they moved. I touched my chest, and shoulders. I could feel everything. Almost. I was afraid to test the rest.
“Cole, before you start to panic, the doctors are confidant that with physical therapy, you could regain full mobility.”
“I'm not panicking.” I said patting the bed, asking her to join me. When she sat down beside me, I pulled her into my embrace, and kissed her temple. “God I've missed you. I thought I was never going to see you again. These past two months have been hell without you. I knew you were alive, somewhere, but the fact that I couldn't get to you. I felt so God damn helpless Harper.” Tears began to fall from my eyes then, mirroring her own.
She lost all control then, turning in my arms and burying her head in my chest. I held her against me as she cried, soaking my hospital gown. “This is all my fault.” She sobbed. “I never should have let you in. I should have known better. I should have just found another place to go after leaving Polaris. I destroy people. Just like I destroyed Vanessa.”
“Shh. Sweetheart, none of this is your fault. You aren't your sister. There's no way you could have predicted what she would do. All that matters now is that we're together.” I soothed, rubbing slow circles over her back.
A soft knock on the door interrupted our private moment, and the doctor entered slowly. “I apologize for the intrusion, but we really need to do a quick exam Mr. Stephens.”
“I'm sorry.” Harper said, attempting to slip away from me. My grip tightened on her hip however, signaling her to stay put. She blushed, as she gave the doctor an awkward smile.
“No need to apologize.” He smiled back, as the nurse entered the room. He took his pen then, and ran it up, and down the bottom of my left foot, and then my right. “Could you please wiggle your left foot please Mr. Stephens?” He asked. “Now the right?” He nodded. “Very good. I'm going to lightly tap one of your feet, and if you feel it, I'd like you to tell me which foot I'm touching.”
“Right. Right. Right. Left. Right. Left. Left.”
“Excellent. We'll know more when we get you up and moving, but it seems the repair to your spinal cord went well. You were very lucky Mr. Stephens.”
“My thighs feel a little numb, is that normal?”
“Yes, it's perfectly normal. You may have some tingling sensations, as well as muscle spasms. The feeling in your lower extremities was essentially cut off, so it will take some time, and physical therapy before you're feeling one hundred percent again.”
“I'm going to be straight with you doc.” I said, giving Harper's hip another squeeze. “What about my penis?”
Harper gasped, her cheeks instantly turning my favorite shade of crimson. I couldn't help but smile, as the docs cheeks took on a flush of their own. He cleared his throat, attempting to hide his own humor. “I think it's safe to say that since the feeling has returned below the belt, that the belt itself should be just fine.”
Chapter 27
We were stuck in Mexico for another week, before my doctor finally cleared me to fly. Harper, once again was stuck pushing my sorry ass around in a wheelchair. The only perk that came with it, was being able to get on, and off the plane first. When we landed in California, Wes was there to pick us up. He looked the same as he had when I left him a few weeks earlier, only he had a five o'clock shadow now.
“Forget how to shave?” I asked, as we approached him.
“Oh this? This is the, my brother got shot in Mexico look. I think I've aged ten years or so.”
“Just wait until your kids are born pops.”
“Fuck off.”
Harper rolled her eyes, passing me to Wes. “I'm going to find our bags. Do you think you two can act like adults while I'm gone?”
“Probably not.” I called after her. When she was out of ear shot, Wes gave me the look. You know the look your older sibling gives you when they want to beat the living shit out of you? Yeah, that one. Not that I could blame him though. Hell, if he stowed away in a crazy woman's trunk, and ran off to Mexico against all sound advice, I'd probably be a little pissed too.
“What the fuck were you
thinking?” He asked.
“I didn't do anything that you wouldn't have done for Zoe. The only difference is that I'm not a trained soldier. I know it was reckless as hell, but I couldn't just sit around anymore Wes. I was losing my grip. I almost slipped up more times than I'd like to admit, and not just with drugs.”
“You're right. I would have done whatever it took, hell I have. I guess it's just different when someone you care about is the one taking all the risks.”
“Ready boys?” Harper asked, pulling our suitcases behind her.
“I'm ready to go home.” I said, giving her my widest grin.
“Me too.” She smiled back.
Wes helped me into his dad mobile, and then again when we arrived home. He only stayed for a few minutes, promising to come by in the next few days with Zoe so we could all catch up. He understood that Harper, and I needed some space to ourselves, and I was grateful for everything that he'd done, even if he was a giant pain in the ass.
Harper rolled our suitcases into the downstairs spare bedroom, and shut the door behind them. I laughed, as she made her way towards me, wheeling me out of the french doors, and onto the back porch. I watched, as she closed her eyes and took in the scent of the fresh sea air. “You don't know how much I missed this.” She breathed out. “The smell of the ocean, the sound of the waves. You.” She said, turning to face me. “I almost believed her you know? That I had somehow made you up in my mind. She had me convinced. And then, one day I saw you on the news. I rewound the footage, and I watched it again, and again, pausing it on the close up of your face, and that's when I knew. I knew you were real, and I knew that you loved me.”
“I never should have left you alone that night. I should have let the authorities worry about Vanessa. You should have been my priority Harper. I'm so sorry.”
“No.” She said, kneeling in front of me, and placing her hands on my thighs. “Jake did everything you asked. He fought for me until he couldn't anymore. I was terrified that he was dead. The last time I saw him, he was slumped against a tree, bleeding. And Evie, and Zoe? They must hate me.”
“No one could ever hate you Harper.” I said, cupping her cheeks with my hands. “And no one blames you.”
“They should. That whole night was ruined because of me. Those poor kids, what they must have seen.” She shook her head, trying to fight back tears. “They were supposed to be in a safe place.”
“You were a victim too Sweetheart. You were drugged, and held captive for two months. Those kids were the priority, and they all got out safely. You can't change what happened in the past. We can only move forward with our future.” I paused, giving her a small smirk. “I had a dream about you; you know. I mean, I think it was a dream anyway, it was when I was in the hospital. We were in the living room, together, married, and you were pregnant. A little girl, I remember asking how my girls were. I know we both said we didn't want to have kids, but it felt so real Harper, and you; you looked so damn beautiful, and happy. We were both so damn happy.”
“Cole, I-”
“Shh.” I said, brushing my thumb across her cheek. “I'm not asking you to change your mind baby. I'm just telling you that we have a future together. Don't let what happened in the past define you.”
“Vanessa tried to kill you Cole. Not once, but twice, how do I forget that? Your life would have been better if you'd never even met me.”
“I didn't have a life until I met you. You gave me a purpose.”
“I gave you, a project.” She said, looking away from me. “I know the reason you found me was because you felt guilty. Vanessa told me.”
“How many times do I have to tell you to stop looking down. Look. At. Me. If you were just some God damned project to me, do you think I would have gone after you at all?!” I asked, trying not to let my anger get the better of me. “Fuck Harper! I don't know what you want me to fucking do. Tell me what to do, or what to say to make you believe that you're worth fucking loving, because I'm out of fucking ideas.” I sighed, saying the last part on a whisper.
“I love you.” She said standing, and easing onto my lap. Wrapping her arms around my neck, she kissed me. She kissed me like it was the only thing that mattered in the world, and for that instant, it was. I moved my hands from her face, down her arms, and then to her waist, before running them up her back, needing to feel every part of her. We sat, making out like a couple of teenagers, hands roaming, and tongues clashing. “I'm so sorry.” she breathed against my lips.
“Stop apologizing.” I said, cupping her face in my hands. “Just let me love you. You think you can do that?” I asked, pressing my forehead to hers.
A tear fell down her cheek, as she nodded her head against mine. “Yeah, I can do that.”
She helped me from my wheelchair, onto our favorite porch swing, and then sidled up beside me. We laid there talking for hours, about anything, and everything. Laughing, smiling, and just enjoying each other's company. There was no talk about tomorrow, or what was going to happen next, and it was the best conversation I'd ever had.
She laid, wrapped in my arms as the sun began to set, and I felt her shiver beside me. I pressed a kiss to her temple, and she snuggled closer. Her leg was laying between mine, and I reached down placing my hand on her bare thigh. “I've missed this.” I said, drumming my fingertips on the sensitive skin. She giggled, and I could feel the goosebumps gather beneath my touch.
“Be careful, or people may get the wrong idea.” She teased. “Cole Stephens, cuddling?”
“If I remember correctly.” I whispered, adjusting the angle of my fingers to graze against her panties. “You quite enjoyed my cuddling.”
“Cole!” She squealed. “You just had surgery!”
“That was over two weeks ago Sweetheart.” I growled near her ear, nipping her lobe. “The doc said, as long as I don't over exert myself I'll be fine.”
“Cole-” She warned, locking her eyes with mine.
“Harper-” I said back, just as seriously. “Let. Me. Love. You.”
“OK.” She said, rising from the swing, and reaching for my hand.
I let her help me up, and back into my chair, and silently we went back into the house. I managed to get myself into the bed while she made sure the house was locked up tight. When she found me, I was laying there in my boxers, with my hands behind my head. She laughed, shaking her head. “Comfortable?” She asked.
“Very.” I said. “Your turn. Take your clothes off.”
I watched as she lifted her shirt over her head, exposing her white lace bra which she undid next. After losing her shorts, she slid into the bed beside me, in only her matching panties. I pulled her flush against me as soon as she was in reach, and her smile was infectious.
We kissed the smiles from each other's lips, and I ran my hands down her back, to her ass, gripping her cheeks, pressing her against me. Everything about her felt right. She moaned softly, as I used my hands to help her grind against me, and it almost undid me right then, and there. The feel of her body against mine, the sounds she made when she breathed out my name, she was perfect, and she was mine.
Chapter 28
We were laying in bed the following morning, tangled up in the sheets, neither of us ready to leave, when Harper propped herself up on her elbow, and gazed down at me. “What is it?” I asked, brushing a strand of hair away from her face.
“I was just thinking.” She said, looking at me very seriously now. “Your penis seems to be in working order. Should we send the doctor a fruit basket?”
How she managed to keep a straight face was beyond me, because I lost it. I laughed so hard that it hurt, and when she joined me, it was like music to my ears. I couldn't remember the last time that I was able to laugh about anything in my life, and it felt genuinely good.
When our laughter finally died down, I reached for her, and pulled her into my side. “You and that mouth.” I teased, kissing her temple. “Lucky for you, I've grown accustomed to your sass.”
�
��And lucky for you, I've grown accustomed to your ass.” She said playfully, giving it a squeeze.
“I don't know what's gotten into you Sweetheart... but I like it.” I growled, raising my brows suggestively.
“I'm just.. happy.” She sighed, placing her hand on my cheek.
“Me too.” I said, kissing her lips.
“It's nearly ten AM.”
“Don't remind me.”
“You can't skip your physical therapy Cole, especially after over exerting yourself last night.”
“I'll show you over exertion.” I said, reaching for the bed sheet, and tossing it onto the floor.”
“Cole!” She squealed, as she squirmed in my arms.
“Ouch!”
“Oh my God! Are you OK? I'm so sorry!”
“Gotcha.” I winked.
“You're such an ass!” She half yelled. “I really thought I hurt you!”
“I'm sorry baby.” I laughed, kissing the tip of her nose.
She turned away from me, facing the wall, and I tried like hell not to smile. She was pissed, and it was kind of cute. I wrapped my arm around her waist, and pulled her body against mine. “You can't stay mad at me forever you know. You're my ride to physical therapy.” It was then, that I realized she was crying. “Fuck.” I said, kissing her on her bare shoulder. “Sweetheart, don't cry. I was just messing around.”
“You don't realize how terrifying it is to think that the person you love is going to die. I almost lost you twice Cole, and as amazing as last night was, I was so scared that I would hurt you.”
“That's exactly my point Harper, life is too damn short. Two months. Sixty fucking days. I thought I lost you too. My biggest fear was that Vanessa would turn you against me. I told myself every day, that as long as I found you it didn't matter how you felt. I'd let you move on, as long as it meant you were safe. I know it isn't the same, but I thought I'd never hold you in my arms again. I thought I'd never inhale the sweet scent of your skin, or kiss your lips. I turned into someone I didn't recognize when she took you from me. I don't want to waste anymore time. I want to live, fight, cry, love, I want all of it. Please look at me.”