“You too,” he says, lifting his own shirt as his eyes smoulder looking at mine.
Together, we remove our shirts, each one drinking the sight of the other in. I crawl toward him, dipping my head as he starts to lean back and running my tongue from the line between his abs, all the way up and between his pecs, tasting his salt as I continue up his neck, my licks turning into soft, sucking kisses. Once again, I graze my teeth over his chin, loving the feel of his stubble as I make my way to his mouth, kissing him hungrily before pausing to look down at him.
“How is this even happening?” I whisper, as I hold myself over him, looking down into a set of eyes that seem to mirror that exact emotion in mine. This feeling is so much – maybe too much for such a short amount of time. My chest actually hurts from the desire I experience around him.
He reaches a hand up and lightly touches my face, before pulling at the elastic that secured my hair, so it falls like a curtain over one side of my face.
“I don’t know. But it is,” he says, rolling us over again so he’s on top, shifting his weight to remove his pants and settle himself between my legs. As he pushes inside me, our eyes are locked and they stay that way as he thrusts back and forth languidly. I’m scared to blink, I don’t want to miss a second of this… this thing we’re sharing.
It’s not love. I know it’s not love. It feels more like… a compulsion – something I don’t think I could stop. Even if I wanted to.
Chapter 16
“Shit. I’m late,” I say, getting out of the car when Damien drives me up to the uni. “I’ve got to run.” Bouncing on my toes, I aim to kiss him on the cheek and then run toward the lecture halls where my class has already started.
“Not so fast,” he says, gripping me by the waist. “Let me walk you.”
“Damien, I need to run. I’m late,” I insist, attempting to pull away.
He leans down and kisses me, “Relax. You can walk with me,” he says, taking my hand in his before beginning the short walk from the car park to the main building.
Resting my head on his shoulder, I sigh as I walk beside him. “You’re going to have to stop kissing me every time I object to something. It’s not fair.”
“I’d rather die than stop kissing you Henrietta,” he says, taking my bag off my other shoulder and slinging it over his. The thought of this coming to pass causes my heart to clench painfully in my chest.
“Then don’t ever stop,” I whisper, pausing where we are on the footpath to press my lips to his, inhaling deeply to drink in his scent. I have this need to etch everything there is about him into my memory. I don’t know why. Perhaps it’s because I don’t feel as though this could possibly be real. I mean, how does this even happen? Damien is so far out of my league, and so not the kind of guy you go crazy for…
“Would you still carry that if it were bright pink?” I ask, as we enter through the main doors of the building, heading toward the large curved staircase to ascend to the second floor.
“Of course,” he smiles, as we come to a stop outside the correct room.
“This is it,” I tell him quietly, noting that the door is closed, meaning that the lecture is well and truly underway.
“I’ll meet you out front when you’re done,” he murmurs close to my ear, pressing his lips against my temple.
“Ok,” I reply, quietly opening the door and slipping inside, refusing to take my eyes off him as he leans against the wall, his light eyes watching me hungrily, until the door clicks shut.
“Nice of you to join us. Will you hurry up and take your seat please?” the lecturer, Professor Aldricht asks curtly, pushing at the bridge of her dark framed glasses as she glares up at me, causing the entire class to turn around and take note of my tardiness.
“Sorry,” I say, hurrying to my seat next to Aaron. “Hey,” I say in greeting, as I sit down beside him.
“Hey,” he says in return. It all seems normal enough, but his demeanour tells me he isn’t very happy with me. For a moment I wonder what his problem is, but when I see the thick folder that I threw all over the hallway sitting on the seat beside him, I remember that he witnessed my whole ‘Bec’ outburst.
“Listen, I’m sorry about what happened the other day. I lost my cool,” I whisper.
He pauses taking down notes from the lecture and looks at me frowning before leaning in to whisper as well. “You lost your cool? Etta. I have known you for nearly three years – not once have you behaved anything like that. That was… I don’t even know what to call it. But it wasn’t you. It wasn’t the girl I know and care about.”
“Would you like to come up and present this lecture Mr Stevens?” Professor Aldricht says, her hands on her hips as she pauses yet again.
“Sorry Ma’am,” he says, clamping his lips together as he resumes his note taking.
We sit quietly and listen for a while, my mind ticking over, trying to find a way to justify my actions.
“It’s not like she was the innocent party,” I add, when Professor Aldricht turns her back to the lecture hall to demonstrate something on the whiteboard.
Aaron just looks at me, his eyebrows raised as he shakes his head but doesn’t speak.
“What? She was in there moaning with my man,” I expound, expecting that to somehow make him understand.
He drops his pen on the desktop, unable to keep quiet anymore as he whispers. “Oh my god. Did you actually hear what you just said?”
“That’s it you two. Leave,” Professor Aldricht demands. “Talk on your own time. Not everyone else’s.”
Gathering our things, we make our way out into the hall before continuing our conversation.
“Etta. I don’t know what to say to you. You’ve been going out with this guy for what? A week? Maybe not even, and already I’ve seen you attack a girl. Not to mention the fact that you were late for class today. You are never late for class.”
Placing my hands on my hips, I look over the railing and down to the first floor where some other students are milling about in the foyer, to distract myself from the disappointment in my friend’s face.
“What do you want me to say Aaron? I already apologised. I know I lost it.”
“You don’t have to say anything. I’m just worried about you. I want you to be careful,” he tells me, placing his gentle hand on my arm. When I turn back to him to meet his gaze, all I see is concern. Concern for me.
A pit forms in my stomach, just before all the hair on the back of my neck stands on end.
“Aaron,” Damien nods, as he appears beside me, sliding his arm around my waist in propriety.
Aaron simply nods in response, before turning his attention back to me. “Listen, I’m going to go to the library. I brought the papers with me if you still want them. Look after yourself Etta. You know where I am if you need me.” He hands me the folder, which Damien takes for me.
“She’ll be fine. There’s no need for concern,” he says, locking eyes with Aaron as their testosterone levels begin to rise.
Aaron breaks the stare and focuses on me. “See you around.” He turns toward the stairs and both Damien and I watch him as he descends and leaves the building.
“What are you doing out so early?” Damien asks.
“We got kicked out for talking,” I admit, as he relieves me of my bag, once again, then leads me down the stairs.
He nods, worrying me that he’s annoyed about seeing me with Aaron.
“Aaron is a bit upset with me for the way I reacted over Bec,” I explain, hoping to gain a little empathy. “He doesn’t think I’m acting like myself.”
He slides his arm around my shoulders, pulling me against him as he drops a kiss on my head. “What we have is very rare. I’m pretty sure it doesn’t exist in the realm of ‘normal’. Not everyone is going to understand us Henrietta. We can’t expect them to.”
Minutely, I shake my head in confusion. “I don’t even think I understand it myself.”
Chapter 17
“Why won�
��t you let me see in the room?” I ask Damien on Wednesday afternoon, as I get ready to go and visit my parents for dinner.
“What room?” he asks nonchalantly, as he sits on the couch, his head bowed as he scratches a pencil over the pages in his A5 sized sketch book.
“Very funny smartarse. The room with the great big bloody padlock on it,” I say, pointing at the door of the second bedroom.
“Just pretend it isn’t there. All of my work gear lives in there. It’s not important.” He twists his book around, holding it horizontally as he tilts his head to study his sketch before scratching away again in a different place on the page.
“It will be important the next time you get a commission,” I point out, sliding my feet into a pair of red Converse skate shoes. I’m wearing my faded blue jeans, my shoes and a bra right now. “Where is my shirt?” I ask, disappearing back into the bedroom. He keeps cleaning everything up, putting my things in with his so I have trouble finding it all.
“Just wear one of mine,” he suggests, as he leans against the doorframe after following me in. “It will make me feel like I’m still with you.” He reaches into the open drawer and hands me one of his more fitted black shirts.
Taking it from his hands, I drop it over my head, loving the soft cotton as it rests loosely against my skin. “You’re not getting out of this conversation by the way. I really hate that there’s a room with a padlock that I can’t go inside. It makes me feel like you’re hiding dead bodies or something.”
“I’m not hiding dead bodies. I promise you that,” he assures me, as he flips the sketch pad around for me to see.
“Oh…” I breathe, stepping closer to him to examine the drawing. It’s me. I’m not smiling like I am in the small picture he drew of me. In this one, I look thoughtful, sensual. “It’s beautiful,” I tell him. “How do you make me look so beautiful?”
He places the book aside before sliding his hands around my waist and pulling me against him. “Do I need to take you into the bathroom and show you again?” he murmurs, his need for me growing obviously as my own pulses between my legs.
“You’ll make me late,” I return, although I’m not moving away from him. I want him. I always want him.
“I don’t even want you to go.” He crushes his mouth against mine before I can respond, my head swirling as I whimper into his mouth, melting beneath his touch.
His hands work quickly to unbutton my jeans as I shuck my shoes off to the side before he pulls the denim down my legs. At the same time, I remove the shirt I just put on and drop it on the carpet, just in time for him to stand and lift me off the floor.
“Stay with me,” he whispers, walking us into the bedroom and laying me on the bed.
“I want to,” I breathe, my arms reaching out to him as he removes his clothes and climbs on top of me. “I really want to.”
He lets out a slow moan as he sinks himself inside me, his eyes locked with mine, and a look of pure bliss on his face. “I need you Etta. You’re everything to me.”
As he moves inside me, he continues to whisper about how he feels when he’s around me, how he needs me, and doesn’t want me to leave him. His words fill my heart with such emotion that it feels as though it may very well burst along with my insides as I burst around him.
“You’re all I have,” he murmurs, as I moan through my orgasm, his thrusting increasing in pace as my climax continues, and I start to shriek, the intensity becoming more than I can bear.
“Oh god! Damien! Oh!” I yell, blood pumping through my ears as my mind reels with the increasing sensation of what I think is about to be another orgasm.
He reaches between us, rubbing at my clit as his thrusts continue. “Don’t ever leave me Etta. Don’t ever fucking leave me.”
“I won’t,” I gasp. “I promise you I – oh god!” My hips buck up again as white spots burst from behind my eyes, and my core clenches, tightly around him. He thrusts into me, as deep as he can go, shuddering and spilling his juices inside me.
Breathing heavily, he dips his head down, kissing me slowly as our connection pulses between our legs. His tongue enters my mouth, and slides against mine, exploring every texture my mouth contains.
I wrap my arms around him, feeling as though his kisses are feeding me the life I need to live as he rolls us over, so I’m on top. Pushing through my arms, I separate our mouths and look down at him lovingly, before dropping soft kisses over his face - similar to what he does to me. I kiss him on the arch of his dark brow - on the line in between them that forms when he frowns. He closes his eyes, and I kiss him on his eyelids, his cheekbones, his dark stubbled jaw, and the tiny hint of a cleft that can be seen in his chiselled chin.
I’m amazed by how much I feel. I know I’m young. I know I only have a couple of relationships to compare this to. But, this feeling… I struggle to describe it. It’s wonderful, yet frightening. Is this level of connection even normal?
The intensity creates an ache in my chest that makes me want to claw at my skin to get it out. I don’t know what it is. It’s making me crazy, elated and scared – all at the same time. I. Just. Want. Him. But, I feel perplexed by my want. It seems irrational, yet irrevocable.
Placing my hands on his chest, I sit back and remove my bra, dropping it on the floor beside the bed as I slide up his shaft and lower myself down languidly, sending us both once again into the oblivion that seems to exist between us.
***
Opening my eyes, I blink twice in the dark of the room. Damien’s arm rests snuggly around my waist as he curls his body around me, his face tucked into the back of my neck.
My stomach grumbles loudly, and I realise that we were so caught up in each other that we skipped dinner. Which reminds me. “Oh no, my parents!” I gasp, flinging Damien’s arm off me as I sit bolt upright in the bed.
“What?” he asks sleepily.
“My parents. I was supposed to go there for dinner. Oh my god. They’re going to kill me.”
“Relax. I messaged them for you. They said to come on Sunday instead. I’ll go with you if you like.”
“What do you mean? When?” I ask, reaching over to click on the bedside lamp so I can see him.
He flinches his head back, squinting against the light as his eyes adjust to the bulbs bright intrusion. “When you were in the shower. Can we go back to sleep now?”
“No Damien. We can’t go back to sleep. Are you telling me that you messaged them before I even got dressed to go out, and told them I couldn’t go without consulting me? What were you going to do if you couldn’t convince me to fall into bed with you? Tie me up?”
“You’re overreacting. I did you a favour. You very obviously wanted to stay.”
“You can’t just keep using sex to get your way, and you can’t go making decisions for me. They’re my parents. You shouldn’t be cancelling my dinners with them and then luring me into bed to keep me away.”
“As I recall, I didn’t have to try that hard to get you into bed,” he says, sitting up beside me and kissing the bare skin of my shoulder.
“I might have to start making it a lot harder,” I say, annoyed that he was so presumptuous. “You know what? I’m going to start staying at my place instead of yours. This is bullshit.” I whip the sheets away from my body and stand up to go and find my clothes so I can leave.
“That’s not going to work,” he says calmly from the bed.
“Isn’t it? How do you figure that?” I say, as I lean down and scoop up my bra before turning to leave the room and get the rest of my clothes from the living room floor.
I don’t even make it to the door before he springs out of bed and comes up behind me, wrapping his body around mine, pressing us up against the wall. “Because every time I touch you, this happens,” he growls in my ear, causing my heart to drop and my chest to constrict. I hate that he’s right. I hate that he holds so much power over me.
My body screams out for him as his hand slides over my stomach and between my legs, his
fingers gliding between my folds, already dripping with my arousal. His cock presses against my butt cheek as his fingers push inside me before gliding out and circling my clit with their silken touch.
“Oh god,” I moan, my anger evaporating. I don’t understand why this is happening, but I’m loving every second he touches me. “I hate you for this,” I gasp, writhing against him, struggling with the power he seems to hold over me at the same time. How is it that one man can enter your life and take over it completely in such a short time?
Using his feet to spread my legs, he tilts my hips toward him, impaling me from behind as his fingers continue to work on my nub. Gasping with each upward thrust, I press my hands and face up against the wall, all thoughts and protests leaving me as I go spiralling toward ecstasy like this man is some sort of drug to me. I’m totally addicted.
Chapter 18
“What are your plans for today?” Damien asks me a week later after training. He’s got me going every day at the moment, and despite having reservations about it at first, now that I’m giving into it, I’m finding that I’m really enjoying it.
I still haven’t gone and had dinner with my parents. Once again, I cancelled. But at least this time I did it on my own. I told them I had some uni work to catch up on for my Monday class when really, I was too busy luxuriating in Damien’s attentions. I just can’t seem to get enough of him.
We’re sitting in the waiting area of the gym, eating a breakfast of blueberry muffins. He actually made them – they’re just a packet mix, but the effort he went to while I was still sleeping is very touching.
“I guess I’ll try and catch up on some uni work and veg out at your place?” I suggest, wondering if he’ll let me stay there on my own.
“How about, I drop you off at the library - I have a class at ten, then I can pick you up afterward, and we can go home together?”
“Sounds perfect,” I smile, although I’m slightly disappointed. He speaks of trust, but won’t trust me with things that are important to him. I don’t think he trusts that I won’t start going through his things, or try to get into his spare room. I suppose he’s justified in thinking that way. I probably wouldn’t trust me either – I really want to know what he’s hiding in there.
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