by Alice Ward
His face softened. “No, Imogen. It’s me who’s sorry. I’ve allowed my brother to be the wall between me and the world for too long. Way too long. He was my excuse to hide in my castle, as you called it. My excuse to not let anyone close.” He swallowed and his eyes glistened. “My excuse to push you away.”
“And now?” I asked him, holding my breath.
He gripped my fingers tighter. “And now I’m tired of being a fucking idiot. I’m tired of being alone. Tired of fighting what I feel for you. Tired of waking up in the morning and wishing you were beside me.” He unbuckled his seatbelt and moved closer to me, stroking a thumb over my bottom lip. “I love you, Imogen. And I know you’re still probably confused about what you feel for me and for Corey, but—”
“No!” I said, cutting him off and releasing my own seatbelt, scooting forward to the edge of my seat. “I’m not confused at all. I love you. I love the compassion you hold for people you’ll never know. I love how you’re willing to risk your happiness so others can have theirs.”
He pulled me to him and I crawled into his lap, pressing my face into his warm neck.
“I don’t deserve you,” he said, kissing my hair, his hand stroking my thigh.
I looked up at him, needing to see his eyes. “That isn’t true. We all deserve love. Even the lord of the city deserves happiness.”
My heart squeezed in my chest as a tear slid down his cheek. I followed its path with my finger, not brushing it away, but allowing it to sink into his skin, giving him back the emotion he so seldom gave.
“I’ll never see him again,” Noah said and another tear traced the same path.
“You will,” I promised. “In your thoughts. In your heart. The love you have for him will never leave you.”
“It isn’t the same,” he said and kissed my thumb.
“No, it isn’t. But love is love. Death or distance can never destroy it.”
He kissed me then, a gentle meeting of our lips. Then we made love, our bodies melting into each other, taking and giving. No lessons. Only love.
Later, fully clothed, Noah continued to hold me tight as we cuddled in his seat, ignoring the announcement to prepare for landing. Stroking my hair with a soft affection, we were too happy to move, and so we stayed, staring out the window, lost in our bliss.
Chicago appeared below us, full of daylight.
The End
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FREE BONUS NOVEL
BLITZED BY THE BILLIONAIRE
ALICE WARD
BOOK DESCRIPTION
After a lifetime of traveling the world with my uncle, I was ready for a normal, routine life. I thought I found it too. A job teaching kindergarten, good friends, and a stable man by my side. I was happy… mostly. Until I walked in on a surprise that shook my world.
Luckily, my friend Ethan McAlister was there to pick up the pieces.
“Friend.” Who was I kidding?
The star quarterback for the country’s newest football team, Ethan was charming, sexy, and the last thing I needed. His life was the opposite of normal and routine. Our passions very different.
But when he touched me… none of that mattered.
Except to the people dedicated to ripping us apart.
Would anything ever be normal again?
CHAPTER 1
I pinned a final cardboard rainbow to my “Welcome to Kindergarten” bulletin board and stepped back to admire my work. I pictured my tiny students filing into the classroom the following day. Their little smiles. The chatter. Even the ones with tears trying so hard to be brave. I hoped the cheerful board welcomed those little ones most of all.
A loud knock drew my attention from the welcoming rainbow to my classroom door. My boyfriend, Ben, strode into the room with a broad smile. As our elementary school’s physical education teacher, he was in his standard gym clothes attire — sweatpants and t-shirt. He looked sexy as hell, like he’d just rolled out of bed, and I silently cursed the fact that our relationship was “hands off” while we were working.
“Hey, Emily,” he greeted me with a kiss on the forehead. “The board looks great. Are you about to wrap things up in here? I’m running to the club before the staff meeting. Want to join me?”
In addition to teaching PE, Ben oversaw the boy’s club’s pee-wee football program. Between after school practices with the school’s sports teams and his time at the club, he didn’t have a lot of free time. But I was always happy to tag along and watch him with the kids.
“I wish I could,” I replied with a sigh, pulling my long brunette hair into a sloppy bun. “Linda and I have a meeting with the Hollis family. We each have one of their twins this year, and they both have severe food allergies.”
Ben raised an eyebrow and perched on one of the miniature desks. “Didn’t you two meet with them last week?”
I nodded and sank into my cushioned desk chair. It was the first time I’d been off my feet all day.
“They just need one last bit of reassurance that we understand what Alfie and Alana are and aren’t allowed to eat. I think they’ll ease up after school starts and they adjust to not having the kids at home all the time. I’m happy to reassure them as often as necessary, but I do wish I could go to the club with you.”
Ben glanced down at his watch and rose to his feet. “Speaking of which, I should get going if I want to get back in time for the meeting. Want to order Thai and stay at my place tonight?” he asked, a grin lifting one corner of his mouth.
The grin was contagious and I couldn’t stop myself from smiling back. “Yeah, I think that’s a tradition we should keep.”
“Perfect. See you soon, baby.” He blew me a kiss and left the room. I stared at the closed classroom door and thought back to the night we’d become a couple.
Ben and I met the previous summer when we were both hired to teach at The Day School, Portland’s state-of-the-art charter school in the working class King neighborhood. We were both fresh out of college and anxious about starting our careers. We bonded over our newbie status at all of the staff development sessions, but our relationship was strictly platonic until the night before classes started.
Ben found me in my classroom that night quizzing myself with flashcards of my students’ names and faces. I remembered being terrified on my first day of kindergarten and I was determined to make the day as easy as possible for my students. Ben suggested that we have dinner, one thing led to another, and we’d been together ever since.
Ben was a walking cliché in the best possible ways. He’d been the star quarterback at his high school and went to Iowa State on a football scholarship. A torn ACL ended his senior season early, destroying his dreams to play in the NFL. After graduation, he returned to Portland to follow his next best dream of one day coaching his old high school team to a state championship.
Physically, Ben was exactly what you’d envision if someone uttered the words “prom king.” He was tall and broad, with sandy blond hair, clear blue eyes, and dimples that made it impossible to stay mad at him for more than a few minutes. The most irresistible thing about him was he had no idea just how cute he really was. Ben was modest, reliable, and, in my friend Melissa’s opinion, predictable to a fault. But after the life I’d lived, predictable was just what I needed.
My parents,
Emma and Lee Kinkaid, were killed by a drunk driver on their way home from a Christmas party when I was just three months old. According to my Uncle Walt, it was the first time my mother left me. She hadn’t planned on joining my father at his office’s annual party, but Uncle Walt was in town for the holidays and he offered to watch me so they could enjoy some time together.
A few hours later, a police officer arrived at the house and broke the news. Uncle Walt was my only surviving relative, save my mother’s parents who were already in a retirement home and in no condition to raise an infant. Uncle Walt adopted me and added my parents’ combined names to the moniker they’d given me, making my full name Emily Catherine Grace Kinkaid. It was a mouthful, but I was proud to carry my parents’ names.
Uncle Walt was only twenty-four when he became my parent. I imagine most single men would immediately start looking for a wife after being thrust into instant, unexpected fatherhood. But not Uncle Walt. He was an incurable bachelor who, in his words, “loved women too much to settle for just one.” To his credit, I didn’t realize what a player he was when I was a child. I just thought he worked a lot. When I finally put two and two together, I kept my revelation to myself. I was old enough to realize he’d gone to great lengths to keep his private life out of our house and I had no desire to call him out on it.
Uncle Walt had been completely unprepared to raise a child, but he figured things out the best he could along the way. In so many ways, he succeeded. Although my legal father, he never referred to himself as my dad. Instead, he filled our apartments with pictures of my parents and told me every story he remembered about them. When I went to him for advice, he’d tell me not just his opinion, but what he thought they would say as well. Because of him, I knew them despite the fact that I didn’t have a single memory of their faces.
My uncle loved me and I have no doubt that he always had my best interests in mind. But my childhood wasn’t what anyone would call stable. Uncle Walt was a pilot and we moved a lot as he was promoted up the ranks at Universal Air. He doted on me when he was home, but I spent a lot of time with nannies during the school year and at camps during the summer. Uncle Walt was very careful about who stayed with me and unlike most of the other pilots’ kids I knew, I never resented him for leaving. There had always been an unspoken understanding between us. Neither of us had the lives we were ‘supposed’ to, but it was okay because we were in it together.
There were benefits to my uncle’s job. He got three weeks of paid vacation every year and we never had to pay for flights. That meant three weeks of exploring a new and exciting country every summer. But the vacation memories provided little comfort when arriving to yet another new school as the new girl, year after year. It wasn’t until I started college that I developed real, lasting friendships.
After a lifetime of never knowing when Uncle Walt would announce that we were moving again, a rooted man like Ben was exactly what I needed. He’d grown up in Portland behind an honest-to-God white picket fence. His father, Carl, managed a branch of Pacific Bank and his mother, Lois, ran the local soup kitchen. Ben was the middle child, sandwiched between his sisters, Holly and Shannon.
The entire family still met for Sunday morning service at United Methodist, followed by brunch at the nearby IHOP. The Garrison family welcomed me with open arms and I settled in just as eagerly. I longed to become an official member of a ‘regular’ family. And I had a hunch that my wait was almost over.
A knock on the door snapped my attention back to the present.
“Come in,” I called out, glancing at the clock on my wall. Mr. and Mrs. Hollis were due in fifteen minutes.
The door swung open and Linda, the other kindergarten teacher, stepped into the room. She left the door cracked and squeezed behind the nearest desk with an exhausted sigh.
“I can’t believe the kids show up tomorrow. You were right, I should have skipped the trip to Atlanta last week and gotten started on putting my room together. I’m going to be here half the night.” She twisted a crimson red curl between her fingers and stretched her long legs across the aisle.
“It’s not every day that your high school sweetheart shows up out of nowhere and sweeps you off your feet again. How is Henry, by the way?” I asked with a grin.
Linda blushed and a broad smile spread across her face. “He’s fantastic. We’ve been on the phone almost nonstop since I flew home. He’s packing his things in a U-Haul as we speak. He should be here by the end of the week.”
“I can’t wait to meet him,” I replied, my grin growing wider.
A year ago, that would have been a polite lie. When I first arrived at The Day School, I’d been put off by Linda’s aggressively bubbly personality. She was the type of person who’d never met a stranger and I’d found her instant openness and constant chatter incredibly overwhelming. But she’d grown on me over the year, and I was genuinely happy to see her so love struck.
“I can’t wait to introduce you,” she gushed. “This all still feels like some sort of dream. It’s all so exciting… Henry’s so exciting. He took me to look at rings while I was in Atlanta. And he’s already talking about me quitting my job so I can travel with him.”
“That’s great,” I told her, my enthusiasm forced this time. She saw right through it and raised an eyebrow.
“Go ahead,” she insisted. “Just say it.”
“If your dream is to travel the world with Henry, by all means follow it. I just think you should keep in mind that living out of boxes and suitcases gets old pretty quick.”
Linda crossed her legs and rolled her green eyes, her freckled face lit with amusement. “It’s not like we’d be traveling nonstop. Henry will be based here and I can stay behind when I feel like it. I understand that traveling gets old. What I don’t understand is how you’re happy to settle for a vanilla life after seeing first-hand how big this world is and how much it has to offer.”
If it had been the first time she’d called my life vanilla, I may have been a little insulted. But that was her go-to term to describe the life I wanted with Ben.
“I’m not settling. I love Ben,” I reminded her for the umpteenth time.
“You love the idea of him,” she corrected me.
I opened my mouth to protest, but she cut me off.
“I know you’re tired of me bringing this up. But we’re friends, right?”
“Right,” I agreed with a resigned sigh.
“And as your friend, it’s my job to make sure you’re honest with yourself. I know you’re hoping for a proposal. And I think you might be right. Ben may be close to popping the question. But I’ve seen the way you look at him, Emily. You love him, but you’re not in love with him. There’s no spark, no fire between you. I get that you’re in love with his family. But if you and Ben get married, he’s the one you’ll be living with, day in and day out.” She leaned forward, her eyes earnest. “I don’t want you to wake up ten years from now and realize you’ve made a huge mistake.”
I straightened my shoulders and diverted my eyes toward the window. I couldn’t look at Linda because a small voice in the back of my head was wondering if she was right. I’d made that mistake in college. I started dating my boyfriend Ryan the first semester of my sophomore year. Like Ben, Ryan had a large, stable family that had instantly accepted me into their fold. And I got so comfortable with them so quickly, I ignored the fact that Ryan and I were incompatible for a year and a half.
This situation is entirely different. Ben and I love each other. Maybe we don’t ‘spark’. But we understand each other. We can depend on each other. And I’ll take that over fire any day.
I cleared my throat and turned back to Linda. “Like you said, I’ve seen what the world has to offer. Now, I just want to carve out my own small, happy piece of it. I’m happy for you and Henry, I really am. Do you plan to finish out the school year? Or am I going to have to watch Mr. and Mrs. Hollis quiz your replacement on the proper administration of an Epi-pen?” I asked, attempting t
o bring our conversation back around to light-hearted.
Linda smiled back at me and climbed out of the tiny chair. “I haven’t made any decisions yet. But speaking of the Hollis family, we should head down to the nurse’s office. One of the commandments of teaching kindergarten is ‘thou shalt not keep nervous parents waiting.’”
“Lead the way,” I said, rolling my chair away from my desk. I followed Linda out of the room and we set off to assure the Hollis parents once again that we were capable of taking care of their children.
***
“Are you ready for this?” Ben asked. He held open the door of Market Seafood and I stepped past him into the entryway. A blonde hostess in a crisp white shirt and black tie held open the interior door. I took Ben by the arm and gave him a determined smile.
“Maybe he’ll be in a good mood,” I suggested, trying to hide my nerves. Uncle Walt had made it no secret that he disapproved of Ben, but for my sake, he usually stayed on his best behavior when we were all together.
“Good evening,” the hostess greeted us. She ushered us through the door and grabbed two menus.
“Hello,” Ben replied. “There will actually be three of us. I believe we have a reservation.”
“Kinkaid?” she asked, a hint of a smile lighting her face.
Uncle Walt’s still sweet talking the ladies, I see.
I nodded and she returned the menus to the hostess station. “Walt is already here. Just follow me.”
She snaked her way across the dimly lit dining room and I spotted my uncle at a corner table. His eyes fell on me and he rose with open arms. He wrapped me in a hug and kissed the side of my head.
“It’s so good to see you, Em. I hope traffic wasn’t too bad?”
I knew the question was a veiled reference to the fact that we were ten minutes late, but I kept my tone light and patient. “We got held up at school this afternoon and we’ve been running late ever since.”