by J D Jacobs
Xander didn’t visit me either. I tried sending myself into flashbacks throughout the day, but I couldn’t do it. Either his instructions weren’t clear enough or the flashbacks I wanted to see were something I couldn’t handle. Or both.
To start off the fourth day, Ricardo came in to Sabrina’s room and proceeded to do whatever he wanted to with her. Ricardo was as loud as he could possibly be, making sure that he woke me up and kept me from going back to sleep. It was obvious that it was just to piss me off, tempting me to bang on that wall between us and remind Ricardo that he’s a detestable pile of trash. But I sat there and tried to let every fabricated groan bounce off of me, try not to let the actions next door sink in. As angry as it made me, I had to do it. For Sabrina.
I didn’t really do anything but sulk for the rest of day four.
And today is day five. It’s a special day for me, but not because of anything that’s happened so far. Actually, I did get to finally talk to someone. Xander saw my pitiful attempts at flashback journeying today and thought he should intervene. He told me to specifically say out loud the moment I want to be sent into. He told me that even though he can read my mind, he doesn’t like doing it constantly because my mind is a jumbled up mess of depression and pessimism. He’s painfully right. He didn’t stay too long to chat.
I spent all of today perfecting the art of flashbacking. I started off easy and went into scenes of my own past: the moment Mom and Dad brought me home from the hospital for the first time; my eventful first day of kindergarten, where I met Cody, got in a fight with Cody, and peed my pants all in a little under thirty minutes.
I then stepped it up a little bit and tried going into harder scenes: a random night that I spent with my grandparents watching Toy Story and helping Grandmother cook a peach cobbler; a Thursday in Spanish class where Cody and I bet Ryan $20 each that he wouldn’t staple his fingers together; a weekend where Scarlett, four other irrelevant people, and I rolled our History teacher’s house. I forgot how much those innocent and stupid memories meant to me.
I tried to avoid any negative memories from my past, which was hard since there’s so many. But the fifth day really taught me that if I focus on the moments where I was happy and carefree, then my life wasn’t all that bad. I can’t let the negatives outweigh the positives.
The thing about flashbacking is that it’s not an effective way to pass the time. No matter how long the flashback is, I always wake back up in the real world five or ten seconds after I lost my vision. The whole concept of bending time never really made much sense to me, but I don’t look too much into it. My version of time travelling would do nothing but create an infinite amount of questions that nobody can answer for me.
I tried looking into the past of others, taking it as slow as I could. I started with the obvious one: Miguel Ricardo. I watched him grow up with two older brothers in a low-income house, supported by his two loving parents. I watched him in his late teenage years as he, his brothers, and his father were hired on the construction team for Britt Solomon to help build Avvil. Ricardo’s father was grateful that his college friend had given his family the opportunity to work. Britt paid them well, and their family lived relatively comfortable lives after Avvil was built.
Ricardo got his girlfriend pregnant, making him a father at the age of twenty-five. I watched him rob multiple stores in order to care for his family, and he was eventually caught. He served four years in prison after being convicted of third-degree robbery. His first year was rough, with “rough” being an understatement. The people in his jail went out of their way to make sure his time there was horrible. He was known as “Ricky Ricardo” in jail, and frankly, there was nothing he could do about it. Until he did something about it. He eventually stepped up for himself and started gaining prestige after two years locked up. He got his ruthless attitude in prison. All his tattoos came from prison. The constant gleam of resentment in his eyes came from prison. His entire attitude changed completely in that four years.
His girlfriend, Gabriela, would visit him every couple of months while he was in prison. They promised to stay together for their daughter, Camila. Gabriela did a lot of things with other men while Ricardo was in jail, but how could you blame her? Her daughter had cerebral palsy and her boyfriend was in prison. Any help that she could get from another man in taking care of her daughter, in exchange for a few days or weeks of pleasure, was very helpful to her. To Gabriela, the men were merely business partners and she was making business transactions. Ricardo was eventually released, and he was happy to be free and with his woman again. He proposed to Gabriela, and their son, Isaac, was born a year after Ricardo’s release.
Ricardo had learned to be a family man leading up to the Cozmin spreading. His prison side came out during the apocalypse, and it didn’t take him long to realize that he couldn’t be criminally punished for acting on his prison side. Britt Solomon wasn’t the first man that Ricardo killed in order to keep his family safe. I saw a specific scene where Ricardo and his family were held at gunpoint by a couple trying to find a car they could drive off in. At first, Ricardo peacefully agreed to surrender his vehicle, but then when the couple turned their backs, Ricardo shot them both.
Gabriela never made it to Avvil, as she was later stabbed by a man who had egotoned. Ricardo killed the egotoned man mercilessly, then held his dying wife in his arms as she bled out. It was truly a heartbreaking moment to watch.
Ricardo had experience killing before, so when Britt ordered the last two surviving members of his family to leave the city and wait for their deaths, protecting his family had become an instinct for him. Britt was a threat at that point, and Ricardo was already subject to ridding of his threats. Shooting Britt wasn’t that hard of a decision.
Ricardo’s backstory doesn’t excuse what he did at all. He’s still a murderer who deserves to be punished for all the pain he’s caused on innocent people. It’s just odd to have seen Miguel Ricardo before, after, and the process in between.
I didn’t want to say out loud that I wanted to visit Sabrina’s past. I was too afraid she would overhear me and suddenly get protective over what I was doing and why her name was involved, so I avoided her backstory.
Mrs. Margaret brought me dinner as I was experiencing Cody’s past just for fun. I took the plate from her but set it down, not even wanting to touch the food. Instead, I asked if I could make a special request.
“Today is…” I begin, second-guessing myself on the date. “What is today’s date again?”
“I believe it’s June 18th,” she tells me. “I could be wrong, but that’s what I had on my calendar.”
“Is it okay if… I know this might be too much to ask, but is it okay if I get a cupcake or something tonight? Today’s my nineteenth birthday, and I’d like to celebrate it in some fashion. If you can’t get cupcakes, that’s fine, I understand. I know that–”
“Oh my! Happy birthday! If you want cupcakes, then cupcakes it is!” Her teeth shine. She’s happy that she gets to contribute in my pathetic birthday celebration. It may have been several months until she celebrated anything herself. “I’ll bake them myself and bring them to you in an hour. How’s that sound?”
“Thank you so much, Mrs. Margaret.” She may be more excited for my birthday than even I am. But then it makes me think about what she told me about her family. She never had any kids. I guess now she feels like a parent that gets to help a kid celebrate his special day, even if it’s not her own kid.
The perfect birthday gift would be to let me out of this room, but that would cost both of us our lives, so I wouldn’t even burden her with the consideration of it.
Once Mrs. Margaret leaves, I hear a soft voice come through the wall. “Happy birthday, Jaden,” Sabrina tells me.
My heart flutters as I smile at myself. “Thanks, Sabrina.” It’s good to hear her speak for the first time in days. I want her to respond, but I know she won’t. I try anyway. “Can you talk to me, if only because it’s my birt
hday?”
She pauses, and I almost mistake her silence as her answer, but she responds. “I want to, Jaden, I really do. But Miguel could come in any minute now. My birthday gift to you is another night of sleep without anymore pain.”
I guess it’s more inconsiderate of me to ask Sabrina to talk to me than it was to ask Mrs. Margaret to bake me cupcakes. I’m putting Sabrina’s life in danger, too, by talking to her. The same way she’s avoiding me to protect me, I should do the same for her.
“Thank you,” I tell her. Our rooms both fall silent from then on.
I doze off before a knock on my door wakes me. Mrs. Margaret walks in with a plate full of cupcakes, but her face tells me something awful had happened. She’s almost in tears as she hands me the cupcakes, and I choke up just seeing her this obviously distraught.
“What’s the matter?” I ask her, setting the cupcakes on the foot of the bed.
She drags her eyes to me. “I… I can’t tell you. I don’t want to spoil your birthday.”
My throat clogs as every horrible scenario that’s possible runs through my head. What if Ricardo killed Cody or Grant? Ricardo may have one of them waiting for me to fight in the Arena. My heart races as I think of what happened, but I can’t convince myself to ask her. I don’t know if I want to go another night without sleep in fear of tomorrow. I don’t want to make her relay whatever she saw to me. I want to sit here and pretend like she didn’t just witness something traumatic. I actually want to eat these cupcakes.
I grab the plate and sit down on my bed. “Don’t tell me then. Here.” I hand her a cupcake, but she simply gawks at it as if it will lunge and attack her once she reaches for it. “Please. Try to forget whatever it was you saw. Have a cupcake with me.”
The anxiety slowly seeps from her eyes, and she finally grabs the cupcake out of my hand. “Thank you,” she tells me. “You’re a good kid. I’m sorry for putting you in this room.”
“You didn’t put me here,” I remind her as I take a bite into the chocolate cupcake. The tip of my nose dips in the tall, blue icing. “These are delicious! You said you made these yourself?”
“I did,” she tells me, her mind not yet clear. “I’ll bring Camila up here to see you tomorrow. If you still want to see her, that is.”
“I do. I mean, if you can. Don’t do it if it’s going to be too risky for you.”
She gives a puff of laughter and bites into the cupcake. “At this point, I don’t think I care anymore.”
27.
Ricardo Residence
Cody Goodwin has been in the quietness of the closet all day. Today was the fifth day he has spent crammed in a ball, and it has been the worst of all the days. He hasn’t heard the tiniest noise roam through the house. He heard Miguel Ricardo’s voice first thing this morning, but he couldn’t understand what he was saying. Whatever he said obviously involved Camila and Isaac, as they both left with Ricardo when he went. None of the three have returned since then, which was odd. Camila and Isaac didn’t bring Cody lunch nor dinner, and now he’s starving. Not only that, but he looked forward to the kids checking in on him throughout the day. It was the only activity he had. He began to grow fond of the young boy, Isaac. Cody began seeing Isaac as a younger brother that he never had. And even Camila had begun to show compassion for Cody instead of throwing insults at him like she had before.
Cody considers possible reasons for why Camila and Isaac missed two meals for him. Were they discovered for sheltering him and now being punished? Were they ordered to starve him? Had the two kids simply forgotten about their pet human that they have wedged in their closet? With every growl of his stomach came a more tempting reminder to leave the closet.
Something finally strikes a nerve in Cody to move his muscles and explore. Maybe it was the fear of starving to death in hiding that overruled the fear of being kneed in the face like his friend was, or maybe it was the enticing thought of him stretching his legs that convinced him. Nonetheless, he made his decision. Before he touches the handle, though, he pulls the butterfly knife out of his pocket, the same knife that Jaden gave him in Tryton. Lucky for Cody that he brought it with him on this trip, because right now, it’s his best friend. He clutches onto the knife as if his life were dependent on it. For all he knows, it very well could be.
He slowly crawls out into the bedroom. He’s seen the bedroom only once in the last five days, and that was to take a shower. Cody had smelled rough, and his facial hair had grown into an unkempt mess. There was a reason Cody never grew facial hair, and it was the scraggly beard that perched on his chin, uninvited. But even then, the two kids were very cautious as to let Cody shower, as they knew that if Cody was caught, then all three of them were equally dead. Maybe Cody should return to the closet right now before they return.
No. He’s already committed this far, so there’s no going back. He cracks the bedroom door and peeks out into the rest of the house, but there’s no sign of life. Cody turns back to the closet, grabs the large jacket that he’s been hiding under and an adjustable ball cap, and tip-toes out of the room.
Cody slides his arms into the thick jacket and zips it up. He then pulls the cap deep on his head to cover his eyes. This isn’t the most effective disguise, but it at least might prevent anyone from growing suspicious. He won’t find any answers staying in this empty house. But before Cody leaves, he quickly searches through the refrigerator for anything to eat. He shovels a handful of baby carrots down his mouth and washes them down with three glasses of water. Now he can at least be scared for his life with something in his stomach.
With the butterfly knife held tightly in his hand and with the blade pointing straight ahead, Cody carefully opens the front door to the house and takes a step out on the porch.
The wooden porch creaks under his feet, but nobody walking the streets seems to raise a brow. There’s a lot more foot traffic than there was when Cody and the group from Tryton walked the streets of Avvil their first day here. On top of that, the night sky above the amber glass makes the city seem darker than Cody remembered, but that may be due to his lack of sunlight this week. Cody feels that he can make himself blend in with the pedestrians, lowering suspicions even further.
Where does he go now? The lingering suggestion would be the mysterious hotel nearby where he last saw Jaden. That would be an obvious choice; perhaps too obvious. Besides, Cody is pretty sure that Ricardo spends his time during the day at the hotel. The last thing Cody should do is waltz straight up to the man and personally ask for a knee to the face.
Even if he were to go to the Grandsmont Hotel, how would he save Jaden from the thirteenth floor? Jaden didn’t tell Cody how he got on that floor. Jaden let down a rope ladder, but Cody is sure that ladder has been reeled back up by now.
But where else will Cody find help? If he wants to solve his problems, his best–and only–bet is to go straight to them. Going anywhere else in the city is a perilous waste of time.
Cody begins walking to the hotel, trying to look casual but knowing that his crooked walk must look weird. It feels good to finally use his legs, but having them bent under him for five days make it difficult to do the simplest tasks.
He makes it to the Grandsmont Hotel unnoticed. Once he’s inside the lobby, he’s relieved to see it’s empty. He begins walking to the stairwell when Mrs. Margaret walks by him with a plate of cupcakes in her hands.
“Oh! Mr. Goodwin!” Mrs. Margaret sports a smile that is abnormally and uncomfortably wide. Cody debates on running back to the closet, but what reason does he have to fear the lady? “It’s good to see you tonight! Here, take a cupcake! I just baked them!”
“No, thank you,” he says, waving his hand. “I’m looking for–”
“Leave,” Mrs. Margaret whispers through her gritted teeth. Her lips don’t move and her smile doesn’t subside. Cody thinks he mishears her at first, but she talks through her smile once again. “Get out of here. Now.”
The urgency doesn’t hit Cody until the eleva
tor across the hall chimes. One of the scientists, Lucas, walks around the corner of the hall with one of the Tryton suits thrown over his shoulder. Lucas stops when he sees Cody, and his eyes budge out of their sockets as his brows nearly lift off his head. Lucas mouths the word “go” to Cody, apparent enough for Cody to understand but discrete enough for the man behind Lucas not to notice.
“I don’t know, Lucas. I think the guy that’s missing the teeth would be the better–” Miguel Ricardo stops in his tracks, as well, once he sees the frightened-stiff Cody. That moment of observation doesn’t last long, as Ricardo drops the suit he’s holding and sprints at Cody.
The sudden burst startles Cody, and he stumbles over his feet as he turns to run away. Cody doesn’t get far outside the Grandsmont Hotel before Ricardo tackles him to the ground and digs his knees into Cody’s lower back.
“Aha! I got him!” Ricardo loudly declares as he fumbles in his pocket for a set of handcuffs. He locks them onto Cody’s wrists as Lucas and Mrs. Margaret catch up. Both are not thrilled with what just happened, but they can’t do anything. They know what their consequences would be if they intervened.
“Lucas, get over here!” Lucas jogs over to Ricardo as he pulls Cody up to his feet. The Avvil pedestrians nearby have stopped to watch the scene, but they, too, have no intent to intervene. “We got fresh bait for the Atonements!” The small crowd claps and whoops in victory at the realization that they get entertained without anyone they know suffering.
Ricardo pulls Cody’s locked wrists to Lucas. “Get him to the research lab. Put him in the cell with the other Tryton people. I’m sure those two new ones that drove here this morning will make for great company!”
28.