Beautiful Lessons
Rebecca Brooke
&
S Moose
Copyright © 2014 by Rebecca Brooke and S. Moose
Cover Design by Regina Wamba of Mae I Design
Editing by Kellie Montgomery
Can’t You See Lyrics by Andrew Wolfe
All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing.
This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents are the product of the author’s imagination or are used factiously, and any resemblance to any actual person, living or dead, events, or locales is entirely coincidental.
The author acknowledges the trademarked status and trademark owners of various products referenced in this work of fiction, which have been used without permission. The publication/use of these trademarks is not authorized, associated with, or sponsored by the trademark owner.
All rights reserved.
Dedication
If you're reading this book, this is for you. Without you, none of this would be possible. Your love and support means the world to us.
Just when the caterpillar thought the world was over, it became a butterfly
~Proverbs
Table of Contents
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Chapter 10
Chapter 11
Chapter 12
Chapter 13
Chapter 14
Chapter 15
Chapter 16
Chapter 17
Chapter 18
Chapter 19
Chapter 20
Chapter 21
Chapter 22
Chapter 23
Chapter 24
Chapter 25
Chapter 26
Chapter 27
Chapter 28
Chapter 29
Chapter 30
Chapter 31
Chapter 32
Chapter 33
Chapter 34
Epilogue
Acknowledgments
About the Author
Chapter 1
Jayceon
Senior year is the end of an era; the year you prepare yourself to start a new journey. A time to spend with friends you may not see much after graduation. Then again, that’s what senior year is supposed to be. For me, it’s just a countdown to the day I can walk away and never look back.
When I started high school, I had high hopes. Playing football, having friends, going to parties and for the first two years, that’s exactly what happened. Then one night, I tried to do the right thing, and it all blew up in my face. Since then, high school has been a big pain in the ass. A place I dread going, full of bullies and rumors. The sooner it’s over, the better for me.
Another typical day at school and the hallways are crowded as usual, signaling my least favorite time of day. Since being on the football team as the starting wide receiver, things at school have become a little harder than before. I’m not liked very much on the team, but some of the bullying stopped. The team hated me, besides Brendan, but even he is cautious with his friendship. In the classrooms they leave me alone, not wanting to deal with the teachers or the consequences. What’s the point of getting caught, when the hallway is jam packed and it’s easier to torture people, especially when there are too many people to see what’s happening?
On the way to my locker, I feel a hand curl around my arm and stop me.
“Hi, Jayceon.”
I look down and see the slinky blond hair that I know all too well. “Vanessa. What do you want?”
“What are you doing after the game on Friday?”
I shrug my shoulders, not wanting to deal with her shit today.
“My parents are out of town and a bunch of people are coming over after the game. I guess since you’re on the team, I’m obligated to ask you to come. But you and I both you know you shouldn’t.” Running her finger down my arm, the tone of her voice is manipulative.
“Yeah, about that...what makes you think I would want to come in the first place?” Turning to leave, I notice there’s no one left in the hallway, besides me and Vanessa.
Her voice turns cold as she sneers at me. “Oh, no? You don’t want your chance to come and make up more lies about the rest of us?” She walks around me and stops in front of me. I don’t have time for her today. “You caused a lot of shit, Jayceon.”
I lower my voice for only her ears. “Whatever you say, Vanessa. You and I both know what happened that night. You think protecting him is gonna get you somewhere. Does he even claim you as his girlfriend, or are you his side chick?”
Without a backwards glance, I ignore her and keep walking. This last year has been absolute hell. One night, I tried to help someone who obviously didn’t want it and all hell broke loose. Since then, every day has been a new battle in patience. Ignoring the rumors and the taunting in the locker room is harder than I thought it would be. Without Alyssa and Brendan, I’m not sure I’d have kept my cool this long. But every day they convince me that using my fists isn’t worth it. Somewhere in the back of my head I know they’re right, so I keep on walking.
As I walk to my locker to grab my lunch, I contemplate going to the cafeteria. It could be more trouble than it’s worth, but that doesn’t stop my mind from thinking that it might be a good idea. That’s when I hear a voice behind me.
“Well look who it is, little Jayceon Ashworth.”
I groan when I hear his voice. It’s the one that has tortured me since last year. Doing my best to ignore him, I concentrate on opening my locker. Any ammo I give Chaz only makes him worse. As the quarterback of the football team, he thinks that he has the right to bully everyone else in the building. He does whatever he wants, whenever he wants, as long as a teacher isn’t in the vicinity. Reaching into my locker, I start to trade out my books for my afternoon classes. There’s a shove to my shoulder, causing me to almost slam my head into the door in front of me.
“Are you ignoring me?” Chaz asks. His friends stand there, snickering in the background.
My hands start to shake and I clench them into fists. Taking a deep breath, I turn around, waiting to see what he’s going to do next.
Chaz gives my shoulder another shove, turning me so that my back is against the locker. “Just ‘cause you joined the team, doesn’t mean you’re really a part of it. I don’t care who your daddy is.”
I stood there, staring at him, without a word, because he’s not worth it.
“It doesn’t matter if you got bigger over the summer, Ashworth. You’re still a fucking bug. An insignificant bug,” he says, his arm gesturing around the school. “No one gives a shit about you. Do you see anyone coming?” I don’t say anything. “That’s what I thought.”
Without another word, he leans in as if he’s going to hit me, but just as quickly steps back and walks away laughing. With a sigh, I turn back to my locker and finish grabbing my books. That’s when I feel a hand curl around my bicep. My first instinct is to pull away, and prepare myself for the hit I think is coming.
“It’s just me,” a soft voice says from behind me.
When I look around, there is Alyssa. “Hey, Alyssa.”
Alyssa’s been my friend since I got here freshman year. We were in the same art class and hit it off immediately. Over the last three years, we’ve been attached at the hip, although about halfway through last year, I got the feeli
ng something was different between us. Whatever it was, by the time the summer hit everything seemed to go back to normal. As I look at her with her curly brown hair and green eyes, I wonder why more of the guys don’t hit on her. Just because she’s my friend doesn’t mean I can’t recognize the fact that she’s pretty. Even with the scowl she’s directing at me.
“I saw Chaz leaving. I guess he was over here giving you shit again.”
I shrug my shoulders. “Yeah, what’s new?”
“I don’t know why you let him get to you, especially now that you are as big as he is, if not bigger.”
I think back to last year when I was about six inches shorter and thirty pounds lighter than Chaz. Over the summer I finally hit the growth spurt I’ve been waiting for and am now easily over six foot, but fighting with Chaz isn’t worth my time if I want to keep the scholarships I’ve already earned for NYU.
“It’s not that easy,” I admit. “You don’t know what it’s like, not knowing what the fuck they’re going to do.”
“Then tell someone!”
“What, so the shit can get worse than it already is? I’m dealing with it.”
“You’re ignoring it, that’s not dealing with it.”
“We’ve talked about this. If I say anything, shit will only get worse. It’s only one more year.”
“But look at you. You’re huge now. All those hours downstairs in your dad’s gym should count for something.”
“I didn’t do it for that reason.”
“I know, I know. You did it for you. I just hate to see him torture you all of the time. I think if you put him in his place, he would leave you alone.”
“Maybe.” I lean against the locker and think about her words. Maybe she’s right, but it’s not who I am. Working out this summer was something my dad and I could do together while he was coaching at the college.
Alyssa smiles. “Let’s not worry about Chaz. I’m starving; let’s grab some lunch.”
She wraps her arm around mine and starts me down the hall. It’s a few minutes before I realize where she is taking us. After my run in with Chaz, I’d rather not eat in there.
“Why are you taking me to the cafeteria?”
“Relax, it’ll be fine.”
What has gotten into her? She hates Chaz and his crap as much as I do. “You think this is a good idea?”
“No, I think this is your chance to show them that they’re not getting to you.”
“And what if I don’t want to deal with more of their shit today?”
“It won’t kill you to try.”
“It just might,” I mutter under my breath.
She pleads with me, using her eyes. “Please, Jayceon.”
When she looks at me like that, I have a very hard time telling her no. “Fine, but if the shit hits the fan, I’m blaming it on you.”
Usually, Alyssa and I make the choice to eat in the art room, where we can eat in peace and paint at the same time. It’s not like we never eat in there, but it’s really only when we have to.
We walk in to the cafeteria and you can see the different groups spread out in the room. The moment my foot steps over the threshold, I see Chaz watching. My guess is he’s looking for round two but will probably wait until the locker rooms before practice. Lucky me. Glancing around, I notice an empty table in the back of the room. Doing my best to ignore the rest of the room, I quietly make my way back there to avoid the bullshit.
Sitting down, I pull out my lunch, all the while keeping my eye on Chaz and his buddies. If I hadn’t just had a run in with him, I would probably be okay. Right now that isn’t how I’m feeling though. Anxious is a better word for it. Alyssa sits across from me with her back towards the door. Suddenly, there’s a snapping in my face. My eyes dart to her. “What?”
“What? I’ve been trying to get your attention for the last few minutes but you’re so wrapped up in what he’s doing that you’re not paying attention to anything else.” She reached over and covered my hand with hers. “Stop worrying about him and tell me about football.”
She’s right, they’re all preoccupied with their friends and there’s no need to worry. “What’s there to tell? I decided to stay on the team and all I end up with is threats of getting my ass beat every other day.”
Her eyes widen in surprise. “Threatening or actually do it?”
I let out a deep breath. “Just threaten. The coaches keep a pretty good eye on it, especially since they probably don’t want to piss my dad off and lose scholarships.”
Her eyes roll heavenward. “Sure, your dad. And I guess it has nothing to do with the fact that you’re faster than every other wide receiver on the team.”
“And how would you know that?”
Her eyes dart to the other side of the room. “I might have watched a few of your practices over the summer.” Before I have a chance to respond, she’s holding a hand up and gesturing to the entrance of the cafeteria. “There’s the new girl.”
Without much interest, I turn to see who she is talking about, knowing that if I don’t, I’m going to be in trouble. What I see leaves me with my mouth hanging open, wondering where the hell she came from. The skirt she wears shows off toned legs on her petite frame, with long brown hair that frames one of the most beautiful faces I’ve ever seen. Her eyes scan the room, landing on me.
My heart starts to race. There’s something different about her. The way she looks at me feels like she sees more to me than anyone has in a single look. It seems ridiculous to think that when she’s too far away to even tell the exact color of her eyes, but it’s still there as her gaze lingers on me for a bit longer than necessary if she’s just trying to find someone. For the first time I want to break free of my shell and introduce myself to her. At least until I realize who she’d been looking for. Two steps forward and she turns to head in the direction of Chaz’s table. Just like that, my stomach drops like a rock. It shouldn’t surprise me that a girl who looks like she does would automatically be part of the popular crowd.
For once, couldn’t the nice guy finish first?
Chapter 2
Seona
The summer before your last year in high school is meant to be spent with your closest friends. You’re supposed to create memories, laugh, smile and enjoy the summer nights. This is the summer to be free, be silly, go on dates and make mistakes. Any seventeen year old wants to enjoy her summer before going back to classes and thinking about college. The real world is so close, but so far away. That’s why you live it up.
But for me, I’m not with my best friends. Instead I’m in a new place, starting over. I left my old life in Michigan to start over with my half-brother, Travis, and his dad, Mark, in Texas.
After the end of junior year my dad got worse. I was no longer numb to his abusive words. I took what he said and let him beat me down, emotionally and mentally. He made me feel worthless. I wasn’t important to him. I was nothing. I reminded him of my mother. He never wanted me and made sure to tell me that every chance he got.
In a matter of days, I found myself on the doorstep of Travis and Mark’s home. I didn’t think they’d be okay with having me here. Surprisingly, they’ve been really sweet and helping me with everything I need like getting ready for school, buying me school supplies, new clothes and helping me enroll at the local high school.
Mark’s deployed now in Iraq. He’s a sergeant in the Marines and won’t be home for a few months. We Skype as much as we can and he reminds me that it’s okay to be here and when he comes back home, we’ll talk some more.
Travis is a few years older than me and is a senior at Texas A & M. He’s the star quarterback for the football team and can go to almost any team in the NFL. I haven’t had the chance to see him play in years, and watching him play on TV doesn’t count, so it’ll be good to attend his games.
Part of me is scared because I shouldn’t be here. My dad will find me and drag me back to the hell of my old life.
But I had to get out. I had to
leave.
My whole body starts to shake and tremble.
I never fucking wanted you.
You're nothing but a fucking whore.
Why couldn't you have died with her?
My eyes open as I swallow the lump in my throat. I want to scream why and demand answers from my dad. He’s always been mean and heartless. He got worse after my mom died when I was twelve. A lot of things in my life sucked after that. Travis stopped coming to visit, but we kept in touch as much as possible. Dad started drinking a lot more and the abuse escalated. He never hit me. It was his words that broke me down. Everything that went wrong in his life was my fault and he never let me forget it.
I turn to the side on my bed and touch the plain pink wall staring back at me. The frustration builds in my chest. I cling to the plush pillow, shoving my face into it and screaming with everything I have. The sound of my heart beat gets louder and for once, I'm letting myself cry.
Breathe.
Just breathe.
I have to keep reminding myself to do this until I’m actually breathing. His voice in my head isn’t real. I’m too far away for him to hurt me. This is not how I want to start my second chance. If I can’t let go of the past I won’t be able to move forward. I manage to lift my face from the pillow and repeat the mantra in my head a few more times. I cover my face with my hands and shake away his words.
I get a chance to start over. I get a fresh start.
Running my hand through my hair, I grab my phone and see a text from Kendall.
Kendall: Are you okay?
Me: No, but I have to be right?
Kendall: Right. It’ll get better and soon when I get the chance I’ll come down and visit you. I miss you =(
Me: I miss you too =(
Kendall Baker has been my best friend since we were in diapers. She knows everything about me and has been there for all the ups and downs. Thanks to her, I was able to get out of Michigan and start over. She saved me, and because of her I’ll always be thankful.
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