The next morning Ippy stood in front of his house, his hand tightly clasped in Hannah’s, as Samson knocked on the front door. Liam and Travis were behind them and Ippy felt better knowing that the three of them were there. He didn’t know if they would have been so accepting if they’d known that Hannah had snuck down in the middle of the night and held him for an hour or two. But since Liam was a werewolf maybe he already knew. Nothing had happened and he’d had a whole speech prepared about how all they’d done was hold hands until Hannah had gone back upstairs, just as they were now. But when Liam hadn’t brought it up at a breakfast of scrambled eggs and bacon Ippy had shrugged it off.
Now, as he waited for his mom to answer the door, he was glad he’d decided to stay with Hannah instead of going to Samson’s house last night. He knew Samson and Christopher would have been good to him. And they had extra beds so he wouldn’t have had to sleep on the couch like he did the night before. But he felt better knowing that Hannah was in the same house with him, that he could talk to her, even if she couldn’t talk back without coming down because his phone service had been canceled sometime in the night.
The front door opened and his mom glared right at him before moving aside and letting them in. He stayed next to Hannah, not wanting to leave her side during this as Samson squared off with his mom. He knew that she’d never really liked him, but he still couldn’t help feeling a bit of pity for her as the big man glared down at her. He tried not to think about that as he went upstairs with Travis and Hannah for company. As humans they wouldn’t be much protection against his mom if she decided to shift—that was why Liam and Samson were downstairs with her, but he was glad to have them nearby.
“There are trash bags up there waiting for you. Use them to get your stuff out of my house. I don’t want anything left of you here. Not after what you did to your father.”
Without his phone or a pen and paper he couldn’t reply back to his mom so he did his best not to hear her. Hannah lifted her free hand, though, and gave her the finger. Hannah shot him a smile and he tried to be happy, for her at the very least. She didn’t deserve to have anyone be mad at her just for trying to help him.
He closed his door behind him and Travis picked up the first of the bags on the bed. “I’m sorry, Ippy. Believe me. Your things don’t belong in bags like this and I know how hard it is to lose your family. I lost mine when I came out.”
He did? Ippy asked Hannah.
Hannah nodded and gave his hand a firm squeeze. “Yep, he did. Dad lost everyone when he came out.”
Ippy hadn’t known. Was it worth it?
Hannah spoke for him. “Ippy wants to know if it was worth it.”
Travis’ smile was instant and Ippy found himself being pulled into a tight hug. “Absolutely. I got my daughter first, and then Liam came into our lives. He improved everything in his path and our lives were better nearly overnight. I wouldn’t change what happened between us for anything because the life I have now is the one I would have always wanted. I know things are tough right now. They’re probably going to be that way for a bit. But you have a best friend and a whole extended family here for you. I care about you like you were my own kid because I’ve watched you grow up alongside Hannah. This should have never happened to you and I don’t understand how any parent could get so mad at their kid for being who they are. But what I want you to remember most of all is that this pain isn’t forever. It sucks right now, but things will be better soon.”
“It can’t rain all the time,” Hannah reminded him, quoting one of her favorite movies. It was a cult classic and they’d both loved it, though her dads had been pretty upset that they’d decided to watch it when they were probably too young.
He moved out of Travis’ hold to give Hannah a hug, too. He didn’t deserve her, but he was grateful that she was there. She was light and perfection. He, well he wasn’t entirely sure what he was, but he was pretty sure that he wasn’t as great as she was by any means. He didn’t even have the guts to tell his mom what he really thought about her and his dad.
Hang on a minute. He spotted an old notebook on his dresser and went to it. Hannah started packing up his clothes as he sat down and wrote a letter. His hand started to cramp and he ran out of ink, but he found another pen and kept writing. When Hannah tapped his shoulder he looked up and was surprised to see that two hours had passed as she waved her phone in front of his face to show him the time. He turned in the chair and looked around at the room he’d grown up in. They’d packed up his clothes, his movies, his notebooks, his school stuff…and he didn’t even mind them doing it, which was the most surprising thing about it.
He gave her a weak, watery smile and she offered him her hand which he eagerly took. He didn’t bother folding up the letter. In fact he didn’t expect his mom to ever actually read it. But he still left it on his desk for her as Hannah silently led the way out of his room, a trash bag of his things in her hand as Travis trailed behind them with another two bags of his things.
His mom wasn’t looking at him as he walked by her and out the front door. He pretended that didn’t bother him. Liam and Samson took up the lead and he heard Samson say something about a car coming for her in an hour. He didn’t know or care what that meant. She was no longer his mom and he wasn’t her son. Though it hurt, he knew that was probably what she’d wanted since the doctors had told her that he would never be normal. But, like Caelum had said, normal was relative and he didn’t know anyone that was. His family was a pack of werewolves, a few humans that loved them, and a girl that was his best friend and who he loved greatly. He had enough right there and with Hannah’s hand still clasped tightly in his, he knew that he’d be okay. After all, there would be sun again. It wouldn’t be today or even tomorrow. But there would be sun again soon.
They were back at the house within ten minutes and, with their help, he put his bags in the TV room for now. A quick shower and a change of clothes later and he was looking forward to a day spent watching movies with Hannah and eating junk food. But her dads had other ideas it seemed.
“Samson will be taking you to school now,” Liam said as Ippy came upstairs to the main floor after getting changed. His heart sank instantly since, really, that was one of the last things he wanted to deal with right then. But by Liam’s expression it seemed he didn’t have a choice.
“I’ll come get you after school if you want,” Hannah spoke up from her place on the table. Already a bunch of papers had been laid out in front of her and she looked bored out of her mind.
Ippy nodded. That would be his bright spot for the day. He gave her a little wave, grabbed his backpack from where he’d left it earlier when they’d come back from moving him out of his parent’s house, and followed Samson out to his car.
The drive to Samson’s house was faster than he would have liked and, an hour after he was supposed to be class, he slid into his chair. Samson shared a look with his teacher and Ippy knew that he’d likely given her an excuse for his tardiness since she didn’t mention it. Too bad Sara couldn’t have done the same thing from two seats behind him. He could hear her talking to her friends about him, though what she was actually saying was a mystery.
He opened a new notebook and scribbled a quick note telling her to stop talking about him. He held it up without looking back at her and knew from her snicker that she read it, but didn’t care because she kept talking. Well, if this was how things were going to be at least they were fairly normal. Only, they weren’t. Not today. His wolf was restless and somehow he knew that Sara didn’t know how to shift. Not yet anyway. She was older than him, but she couldn’t do something that he found so completely easy. That made him smile. He’d finally found something that he was better at than the class princess. Too bad he couldn’t show her without getting naked in class which absolutely wouldn’t be happening. But it was nice knowing that he could do it, that his wolf could jump out and probably make her scream as she ran around. Maybe then she’d respect
him. Maybe she’d even stop talking about him behind his back. He didn’t think she’d want to be friends with him then. He wouldn’t have taken her as his friend even if she did.
His best friend was a girl a thousand, no a million, times better than Sara. And he could hear her walking down the hallway towards the classroom door now. He knew her walk, knew that she liked to scuff her shoes across the floor sometimes when she wasn’t paying attention and walking fast, like she was now. So he knew before his teacher did that it was Hannah coming through the door when it opened. She sat down in the empty chair next to him as the teacher’s mouth opened.
“Miss Glass, you graduated from my class already. It isn’t appropriate that you be here,” the teacher chided her.
Hannah shrugged and pulled one of Ippy’s notebooks from his backpack between them. “And I don’t think it’s all that appropriate that I can hear one of your students making fun of another student even out in the hall and you just sitting there not doing anything. I get that this is quiet time or something in your class, really I don’t know what you’re doing here anymore since I graduated, but I’m kind of done having my best friend whispered about. So, here’s the thing and how this is going to play out—you teach this class, I won’t argue with that.”
The teacher’s face brightened as Hannah took a deep breath. But her expression fell again as soon as Hannah started talking. “But Samson has set me up as a teacher’s assistant over the next two years so that I can have some real world experience to put on my university entrance papers. It’ll give me a bit more of a push, if you know what I mean. I’m here to help for the next two years. And, by help, I mean make sure that the rules are followed and every student is treated fairly. Not just the ones you like the most. If you don’t like it, Samson’s office is right down the hall. I think you remember how to get there, since you were in there almost daily talking about me when I was in your class.”
The teacher’s face pinched and Ippy waited for her to blow up. In fact, the whole class seemed to be waiting as gazes went between her and Hannah. His money was on Hannah. She’d learned far too much from Evangeline over the years to not win this, despite the age difference between her and the teacher.
“You lack respect for your betters,” the teacher finally seethed.
Hannah raised her brows, clearly challenging her. “Show me my better and I’ll give them respect. You haven’t done anything to deserve such a thing. Respect is earned, not automatically given because you happened to be born earlier than me. You’ve played favorites for years. It’s done now. Equality in this pack doesn’t stop when it gets to your classroom.”
The teacher’s face colored and Ippy reached over to take Hannah’s hand, figuring that she was about to be yelled at. She pressed her palm into his before wrapping her fingers around his offered hand. She didn’t look over at him, though, which bothered his wolf who wanted to get out and lend his own growl to Hannah’s words. He could do that too, even if he didn’t shift. Hannah was capable of standing up for herself, he knew that. But he also knew that she didn’t have to. He was a fully mature member of the pack in their eyes since he was a teenager and his best friend didn’t stand alone. Not releasing her hand, he got to his feet. He did have to let her go in order to do what he wanted though so he gave her a quick squeeze and went to the board.
No one stopped him as he picked up the dry erase marker and started to write. He would have preferred to say all of this to them, but this was the best he could do—he only hopped that some of them actually listened to him instead of ignoring him as they’d been doing for years. Not everyone in the class was like Sara. In fact some of them were actually nice to him, but none of them treated him like he was one of them. Well, he was tired of that. He was autistic, but he wasn’t an alien. And he’d been trying to fit into what they wanted for far too long. It was time to be himself. And it started today.
When he was done writing he went back to his chair and looked over at Hannah. Can you read that out loud for them? If my handwriting isn’t too awful I mean.
She gave him a grin. “Your handwriting is never awful, Ippy. It’s actually a ton better than mine most days. Alright. My name is Ippy. I am autistic. I’m different than you, but I’m not bad. I’m not a freak and I’m not stupid. I like to learn, like to read, and I can be called on. I can’t talk and that’s not my fault. I’m just like everyone else here. I have friends, I have a family, and I want to be treated the same. I don’t care if you like me. I don’t care if you understand. I just want to be treated like I’m in this class. Like I matter, too. I like things too, and just because I don’t talk doesn’t mean I don’t want to have conversations. It’s just harder because you have to be able to read to talk to me, too. Stop making fun of me, stop ignoring me, and start treating me like I’m a person and not something you have to put up with, because I don’t do that to you and I’m tired of it.”
Hannah stopped reading and quickly wrote down something on the paper in front of her. She held it up and showed it to him while everyone in the room remained quiet. It said that she was proud of him and that took guts to say.
He nodded, glad that she was because he was proud of her too, and hugged his arms around his stomach as he waited for the inevitable backlash. He’d had to say those things. It’d hurt too much not to. But he didn’t expect anyone to actually listen to him and he figured that nothing would change.
“You are such a—”
“Shut up, Sara. For once in your life, just shut up.”
Ippy was surprised that the words hadn’t come from Hannah, liked he’d expected, but from a boy in the corner that hardly ever spoke up. When Ippy looked at him the boy gave him a little wave and Ippy waved back.
“I’ve got depression,” he called from across the room. “It’s not the same thing as autism, but nobody understands me either. They don’t even try to. I’m glad you said something. I wouldn’t have had the guts to. And I’m sorry if I ever ignored you. I didn’t mean to. Sometimes I’m just lost in my own head and don’t notice anything else.”
“I’m sorry, too,” someone else spoke up.
“Me, too.”
Hannah put her hand on his back, right between his shoulder blades, and started rubbing him in small, soothing circles as other people in the class said they were sorry too. The teacher said nothing and neither did Sara, but he really hadn’t expected them to. He’d said what he’d meant to and pulled his history book out of his backpack. It was after ten. History started at ten. He opened the book to the correct chapter and looked up at his teacher, waiting for her to help him learn. That was all he’d ever wanted from her. It shouldn’t have had to come to this, but he hoped that now things could be better. At least for the next two years. He knew that Hannah would stick up for him again, as would the adults in the pack that cared about him as much as he did them.
But he was sixteen and in two years he’d be living an ocean away. It was time to start growing up now and sticking up for himself.
“Your wolf is glowing,” Hannah whispered to him. She handed him a tiny mirror that she used to put on makeup when she wore it, but more often to make sure she didn’t have food in her teeth and he looked to see that yes, his wolf was a bright light around his face. And he was in focus, too, in the same way that Samson and Liam’s wolves had been the night before when they’d helped him shift. He smiled into the mirror and handed it back to Hannah. His wolf was strong too, and together they were good enough for her. And for Caelum as well.
Hannah gave him a little wink and his little smile turned into a grin. It was okay for him to be autistic. It was okay for him to be bi. He could be scared, he could be brave, he could be whatever he wanted to because he had a best friend that loved him and the support of a pack behind him.
Sara was whispering behind him and this time his wolf didn’t give him a choice. He was shifting before he even thought about it and barely pulled off his shirt before fur covered his body. He t
wisted around and jumped onto the desk behind him, placing himself in front of a wide-eyed Sara. He didn’t growl, didn’t show his teeth, just looked at her.
Your opinions don’t matter to me, he said, knowing that she could hear him now that he was a wolf. But you don’t get to talk about my best friend like that. Also, you’re mean and vain and I don’t know what your problem is, but that’s okay. Because you don’t matter to me. I’m stronger than your words and anything else you want to throw at me. So here’s a thought. How about shutting up and leaving me and my friend alone.
She ran from the room, but he didn’t watch her go. Instead he sat back down at his desk, as awkward as it was to get in while he was a hundred pound wolf, and looked up at the teacher. I’m sorry for coming in late. I didn’t even think I’d have to come here today. What page are we on?
The teacher’s voice shook as she replied, “One thirty-four.”
Hannah turned the page for him and no one looked at Sara as she came back in the room. The teacher started talking and he paid attention better than he could ever remember doing because his wolf helped him focus. It was there in front of him, filtering out the information he didn’t need so that he was able to read the text and listen to the lecture in a way that was completely new. And, with Hannah turning the pages for him, he found himself enjoying being at school for really the first time.
“You’re beautiful,” Hannah whispered to him.
You mean my wolf?
Hannah nodded.
What does he look like?
Hannah smiled at him and ran her fingers through the fur on his shoulder. “He’s dark. Like almost black. But he’s still grey. And there’s a dark stripe down his nose, but his cheeks and around his eyes are white.”
“Quiet over there,” the teacher scolded them.
“And he’s got nice big ears and a cute nose,” Hannah whispered to him, giving Ippy a quick, secret smile.
With Hannah next to him, Ippy knew that class wouldn’t be so bad from now on. Maybe someday he could even do it without being in his fur. But in the meantime he was glad to have found something that worked.
Irish Melody Page 7