by S M Mala
‘Are you okay? Kit asked quietly. ‘Everything fine?’
‘I’m okay,’ she said, gently rubbing her arms.
‘Can I talk to you?’ Kit asked, turning to Captain. ‘In private?’
‘Sure,’ he said, raising his eyebrows before following Kit out of the room and into the kitchen. ‘What did Mr Wilton have to say?’
‘He said she’s not in a relationship with Cameron,’ he blurted out, feeling relieved. ‘But he is somehow manipulating her. I guess that’s what he needs to know, to what extent. Has she opened up?’
‘For the past two days she’s been very quiet and only started speaking this afternoon. You can’t tell her about Wilton. If she gets wind it’s someone she knows it’ll kick off. And those bruises? You don’t fall like that. If you look closely there are finger marks on her skin.’
‘And nothing else happened to her? Did the doctor check?’
‘You mean was she assaulted?’ Captain grimaced at his own sentence. ‘Nothing untoward. The thing is she’s not sleeping. I hear her wake up, like she’s being startled. Then all she does is pace around the room. She’s not on any prescribed medication but the doctor did a blood check to make sure there was nothing in her system. After you spoke briefly about her I thought she was some crazy woman. That’s wrong. She’s a deeply upset woman.’
‘Did you give her the picture of her family?’
‘Poor girl cried when she saw it and put it to her chest. I wonder what goes through her head. I’d hate to lose my loved ones like that. I don’t know how I’d cope let alone try and live.’
‘I know,’ he sighed, nodding his head. ‘It must be a nightmare. Listen, I don’t mind doing the night duties. I’ve got it covered at the bar. All I have to do is pick up Grace from school then I can come straight here. I feel sort of responsible for this.’
‘Were you getting on before this happened?’ Captain asked sheepishly. ‘It’s none of my business but Mr Wilton and his client have kept an eye on her. He knows you were meeting up for lunch.’
‘We did meet up and we were getting on,’ he said, feeling his cheeks get hot. ‘She’s not the easiest person to speak to, especially when she shuts down.’
‘I told her you didn’t think she was the target but she wasn’t convinced. Said something about you being a slut with the ones you thought were within the same age group. And you had a better chance with the geriatrics.’
‘Really?’ he said, seeing she wasn’t going to play ball.
‘Maybe you can get her to open up?’
‘I don’t think she’ll want to trust me again, do you?’
‘Why three men to look after me?’
… asked Sasha later on that day. ‘Aren’t you worried I’ll go to the police and get you locked up? You should be wearing masks.’
Again she avoided eye contact with Kit, just looking at the other two.
‘I got a call to say you needed some help so there you go,’ Captain said brightly. ‘Do you want to eat with us tonight? You’ve been here three nights and you might as well settle in.’
‘Aren’t you scared I’m going to try and make a run for it?’
‘Where will you go?’
‘That’s a good question,’ she said as the sullen expression returned. ‘Wherever I go someone is bound to get upset.’
‘Do you like Thai curry?’ asked Ryan, stepping forward. ‘I’ve made a chicken one.’
Sasha was deep in thought before nodding. She pulled up the hood of her top and sat, looking at her feet.
‘You’ve been told to find out things, haven’t you? I know. Has Cameron put you up to this?’
‘Who’s Cameron?’ Kit immediately asked. ‘Your boyfriend?’
‘Like I said to you before, I’m single,’ she hissed. ‘That’s when I thought you were a good person. Now I can see you did it for the cash, isn’t that so?’
‘Who said we were getting paid?’
‘I doubt if you did this to protect me when you probably haven’t got the foggiest idea what’s going on,’ she sighed and looked at him for the first time.
The eyes were bright but she had dark circles underneath. He thought she looked upset then realised it was disappointment.
Kit knew that look.
It had been given to him many a time over the years, mainly from his family and close friends when he was an addict.
And Kristin when they were in bed and he couldn’t have sex.
‘Let me lay the table,’ said Ryan, looking at the pair of them as he walked out followed by Captain.
‘Sasha, like I said before, I didn’t know it was going to be you. I wouldn’t have… I know you don’t believe me but money doesn’t come into this. It’s pretty complicated.’
‘How complicated?’ she asked, looking up at him. ‘As complicated as being held here against my will?’
‘You’ve not been bound and gagged.’
‘Yet.’
‘Nothing like that’s going to happen,’ he said, sitting down next to her as she shuffled away. ‘Think what you like about me but I’m not a criminal.’
‘Just an ex coke head junkie arsehole? That’s comforting.’
‘If you don’t want to listen, fine.’ Kit sat back in the sofa getting agitated. ‘I’m not proud of my past but I’m coming to terms with it. I’m in this mess because someone needed a favour and they’re using my child as bait if I don’t agree. So whatever shit you’ve got yourself into, I’ve been pulled into it unwillingly.’
‘Grace is nine, isn’t she?’ Sasha said, turning to him. ‘It’s an interesting age. They come into their own.’
‘I’m not a bad person,’ Kit whispered. ‘And I still really like you but this…’ He shook his head. ‘This is not how I expected it to turn out. The most I wanted was us to go to dinner and get to know each other better.’
The laugh ricocheted out of her mouth, startling him.
‘Well as dates go, this is rather unique, wouldn’t you say?’
‘And I want my tap shoes back,’
… said Sasha over dinner. ‘You’ve taken my wallet, keys, phone, tablet, passport and tap shoes. If you’re holding me here, I need to do some exercise.’
Kit double blinked at the comment, trying not to smile.
‘I heard tap wasn’t one of your strengths,’ Captain diplomatically replied. ‘And those shoes could be a dangerous weapon.’
‘You think I’m going to paradiddle you to death?’ she said, frowning. ‘You’re army, aren’t you?’
‘Ex-marines.’
‘And you like to cross dress. Bet that didn’t go down too well with your colleagues,’ she mumbled, flashing him a glance.
Kit noticed Captain’s already thin lips getting thinner.
‘You know Alexandra, don’t you?’ Sasha continued and Kit noticed Captain was going red. ‘She texted me the following day after the party in the pub and said she met a really fit guy called Gareth. He was an ex-marine. Why are you dressing up as a woman then trying to pull them if you’re not interested? That’s not very nice, is it?’
‘Haven’t you heard of the expression ‘small talk’?’ laughed Ryan, piling up more rice onto his place. ‘I’m an ex-marine and I don’t wear ladies clothes.’
‘You’re pretty young to be an ‘ex’,’ Sasha continued, eating her curry. ‘Did you leave?’
‘I had to retire early due to an injury but retrained as a Community Outreach Worker, youth worker in plain language,’ he replied, grinning at her. ‘In some ways it was a godsend as I didn’t know what I wanted to do when I was younger.’
‘So you’re trying to do good for the community?’ she continued. ‘Are you married? With someone?’
‘Sasha,’ Kit said, looking at her. ‘Why all the questions?’
‘I need to know about you guys if I’m to spend time with you.’ She turned to Ryan. ‘Are you?’
‘All I do is work and make sure my grandfather, who has dementia, is looked after. There’s no woman.
’
‘Man?’
‘I prefer ladies.’
‘So you’re single. Anyone in the pipeline?’
‘There is one person but it’s out of the question,’ he said, drinking a glass of water. ‘Sometimes you can’t be with the one you want.’ Ryan shrugged his square shoulders and smiled. ‘But I’m happy enough.’
‘Why aren’t your parents looking after you grandfather?’ Sasha put down her fork. ‘Sorry, I’m asking personal questions but I need to know.’
Captain glanced at Kit. He could see the older man was more than anxious about her questioning.
‘You shouldn’t really ask about us,’ Captain said quietly. ‘We’re here for your protection and there should be no confusion about getting acquainted.’
‘But it’s okay for you to ask me questions and expect answers?’ she glared at him. ‘I’m not a child, you know.’
‘That’s fine, I don’t mind answering,’ sighed Ryan, looking at all of them. ‘My mother died when I was little from a stroke and I was an only child. My father then passed away when I was a teenager so my widowed grandfather brought me up.’
‘How did your father die?’
‘He was murdered,’ Ryan quietly said, making Kit turn to look at him. ‘By the father of the woman I’ve been in love with for most of my life. You see, it’s not straight forward.’
There was a deathly silence in the kitchen as Sasha started to eat again, deep in thought.
‘When people you love are taken from you in strange incidents, it’s very hard to come to terms with,’ she said quietly. ‘What happened to the man?’
‘It was a heated argument that got out of hand. He didn’t mean to hurt my dad but it happened. His family were equally devastated and moved away. John got a suspended sentence for manslaughter. One second changes your life forever.’
‘I know,’ Sasha said, nodding. ‘And you wish that second never happened.’
Then she looked up and made eye contact with Kit.
It was strong, the feeling in his chest. He examined the delicate face looking forlorn.
‘You abused my trust,’ she blurted out, making Kit choke on his mouthful of food. ‘I’m a bit annoyed about it.’
‘Oh god,’ he heard Captain mumble, trying not to laugh. ‘Let’s eat in silence. I’m sure mealtimes are going to be very interesting.’
Kit took a napkin and covered his mouth, seeing Sasha had bent her head to avoid eye contact. He wanted to say something back but knew it was a waste of time.
‘Ryan, did you forgive John for his actions against your father?’ she asked quietly.
Kit noticed Ryan started to smile before putting down his fork and sitting back in his chair.
‘You know, Nelson Mandela forgave the people who mistreated him. That’s something he’d be remembered for as well as everything else he did against apartheid. Me? It was hard. My grandfather? He would never forgive that man. When he found out I liked Keighley, he wasn’t happy, made it very clear he didn’t approve but you can’t help who you fall in love with.’
‘Love?’ Sasha said quietly.
‘I do love her. She eventually moved back to where I live and we became friends again. That was about fifteen years ago. Keighley studied social work and she knew she wanted to come back to London. My grandfather found out and was furious.’ He let out a sad sigh. ‘I couldn’t choose so I joined the marines to get away. When I came back on leave, I’d found out she met some guy and moved to Bristol. He wasn’t a good sort but she got pregnant, didn’t work out and she returned with her daughter, who is now thirteen.’
‘And you’ve loved her all this time?’ asked Kit, seeing it was similar to how he was with Kristin before he found out it wasn’t mutual. ‘If you grandfather is in hospital then why can’t you try and see her again?’
All eyes were on Ryan as he looked away.
‘Keighley’s the one who can’t seem to commit to me. Her guilt about what her father did to mine still bears heavy in her heart. She can’t believe that I could love her in spite of something that happened eighteen years ago. Nothing I say can convince her.’ He broke out into a wide smile. ‘Sometimes guilt plays a heavy part in your life.’
Kit looked around the table and noticed the other two were each ticking something over.
He knew about guilt.
The guilt of nearly destroying his family over his addiction.
The guilt of nearly dying.
And the worst guilt of all.
Letting his young child witness his decline.
‘Some people have guilty secrets that they know will destroy their lives as well as others,’ Captain said quietly. ‘And sometimes it eats them up until they can’t function anymore.’
Sasha suddenly looked at Captain then stood.
‘Excuse me,’ she said quietly. ‘I need to go to bed. Thank you for the meal, it was lovely. Goodnight.’
She walked slowly out of the room and up the stairs.
‘I wonder what guilty secret she’s got?’ asked Ryan.
Kit thought the same thing.
‘Who the hell are you?’
… Kit said, two days later, when he walked into the living room to find Sasha with a woman. ‘What are you doing here?’
‘This is my friend, Gillian,’ Sasha said, grinning at him. ‘Say ‘hello’ Gillian.’
She turned and Kit did a double take.
It was Captain dressed up as a woman again.
‘Just the person,’ Sasha said, standing up.
Kit tried not to eye her up but couldn’t help it. Sasha was looking much better.
In the night he heard her pace around for an hour, after waking up, then she’d go back to bed. He wanted to go to her room and check but Captain said to leave her alone, see if she wanted to talk.
She didn’t.
‘What do you mean?’ he asked, seeing Captain smile.
This time he looked less manly and had applied a more natural make-up. His choice of clothes was still atrocious but not as bad as when he first saw him in the get up.
‘You know he’s getting help with his transformation,’ began Sasha. ‘He needs to go out as Gillian. I thought it might be fun if you took her out for a drink.’
‘You’re joking?’ said Kit, seeing Sasha was deadly serious.
‘I’ve had long chats with Sasha over the past few days. She knows what I’m going through and if you don’t want to take me, that’s fine. I’m happy to go out by myself.’
‘Gillian, I’d prefer it if you were with someone,’ Sasha said quietly. ‘I’d feel safer as not all people are open-minded about this sort of thing.’
Kit sat down, his mouth slightly open. He stared at Sasha again. She decided to ignore eye contact.
‘We’ll go for a drink down the road for half an hour,’ sighed Kit. ‘But how is this helping anyone? We’re only going to bring attention to ourselves, or is that what you want?’
‘I’ve spent five nights here,’ she said, turning to look at him. ‘I’ve had no exercise and I’m going stir crazy. You’ve confiscated my tap shoes and I’m not trying to draw attention to anything. Right now I feel safe which is good but Gillian is going through a process. I might as well support her.’
He tossed around in his head what she was up to then noticed she was staring.
‘Why do you feel safe with three strangers?’
‘I know it’s confusing that I’m with two strange men and Ryan but that’s not my choice…’ she hesitated for a moment. ‘Will you give me tap lessons?’
‘You want to tap dance?’ he replied, trying to hide his shock. ‘Really?’
‘Yes, really!’ she snapped back.
‘I’m going to go to the ladies,’ Captain said in a higher pitched voice. ‘Excuse me.’
He walked out wearing a pair of kitten heels and closed the door.
‘What are you up to?’ Kit said, shaking his head slowly from side to side. ‘Not so long ago I couldn’t get two words out
of you and now you can’t stop talking.’
‘Are you complaining?’ scowled Sasha. ‘I’m making the best of a bad situation.’
‘Why aren’t you scared?’
‘Should I be?’
‘No but considering you’ve been abducted, which you constantly say, you seem pretty calm.’
‘I’ve been thinking hard about this. Maybe you saved me at an opportune moment.’
‘Saved you from what?’
‘Cupid’s arrow.’
She shot him a glare.
‘You mean from me?’ he said, feeling put out.
‘No I didn’t,’ she smiled. ‘It’s you that got me into this shit.’
‘I don’t get it.’
‘You’re a man, you wouldn’t.’
‘I’m ready!’ announced Captain, wrapped up in a large ladies coat. Kit gulped hard seeing the unattractive side of Captain. ‘Shall we go?’
‘What about her?’
‘I take it ‘her’ is me?’ she said, grinning at him. He was put off by the dazzling smile. ‘Lock the doors, put the security on or whatever you do. I’ll be here. Can we get a takeaway? I fancy some soup noodles.’
‘I’ll give Kit the money,’ said Captain, waiting for him to stand up. ‘Come on. I have to be somewhere by six.’
Kit watched Sasha suspiciously knowing she was plotting something.
‘Don’t do anything stupid,’ he said seriously.
‘I did that already.’
‘What was that?’
‘Not dying when my children did.’
Walking down the road, Kit felt on edge about her comment and marched off. He turned to see Captain was having a problem manoeuvring on the iced slippery January pavements with his little heels.
‘Do you need some help?’ he asked, going back to Captain and putting out an arm.
‘Thank you,’ he replied. They slowly strolled down the road. ‘From your expression, you seemed confused about this get up.’
‘It’s none of my business.’
‘I’m not having a sex change, if that’s what you think.’
‘Never said a word,’ he replied, knowing that’s what he thought Captain had in mind.