Jada rolled her eyes and snatched my plate. “Ugh,” she said. “You think you know it all, don’t you? I swear you get on my nerves and—”
I rushed behind her and snatched a piece of turkey bacon off the plate before she tossed it in the trash.
“The waffles were soggy, but the bacon is good,” I said, chewing fast to irritate her.
She playfully pushed my shoulder and then got me an apple from the fridge, tossing the fruit to me.
“Thanks,” I said. “This is much better.”
“I hope so.” Jada walked up to me, as I stood by the counter. “So, tell me what you and Chase talked about last night. She didn’t leave here until real late, and I saw her ass hiked up on that pool table. I bet she had that whole room smellin’ like tilapia, didn’t she? She is so nasty to me, and that pussy of hers is tired of that bitch tryin’ to use it to her advantage.”
I bit into the apple, shaking my head at Jada.
“You know she’s foul,” Jada continued. “And if she don’t smell like tilapia, you be smellin’ like it ’cause I believe you get mo’ pussy than ten NBA players put together, don’t you? Chase was throwin’ that cat at you last night, and when I saw you walk off, I was like…hell, nah! I cracked up and ran to hide behind one of those chairs. You didn’t see me, though. I was hidin’ real good.”
“Actually, you weren’t. I saw you peeking into the game room, and I also saw you trying to hide behind the chair. Next time, choose somewhere else. Behind one of those bushes outside may have been better.”
Her brows shot up. “Did you just try to insult me by implyin’ that I was too wide and the chair couldn’t hide me? Is that what you’re sayin’?”
“What I’m saying is behind a chair ain’t a good place to hide. Now, it’s been real, baby. I need to start packing so I can get out of here. Are we done?”
She lowered her head, pouted, and displayed fake sadness. “I guess. Don’t let me hold you up any longer.” She threw her arms around me, giving me a hug. As she squeezed my ass, I gave hers a pat.
“See you at the reunion show,” I said. “Be good, and remember to watch your back.”
As soon as those words left my mouth, Jeff came in carrying groceries. A fake smile covered his face as he saw Jada and me embracing.
“Jaylin, what time shall I call a cab for you? Are you already packed?” he asked.
“I’m getting to it right now, but I don’t do cabs. I’ll call someone to come get me.”
I walked away and went into the bedroom to call Shane.
“If you’re calling me,” he said, “I take it that you didn’t win.”
“I can’t win them all, but don’t count me out just yet. I need for you to come pick me up as quickly as you can. Can you handle that for me?”
“Within the next hour or so, I can. Be ready when I get there. I can’t wait to tell you about all the shit that’s been happening while you were away on your little adventure.”
“You know I’m not up to hearing about that break-up, make-up shit between you and Tiffanie. My only question is were you capable of increasing the digits in my bank account? That’s all I want to know.”
“The love for money always motivates me, so you can be sure that your account is in better standings. See you in a bit, but prepare yourself for relationship drama that doesn’t solely revolve around me.”
I didn’t bother to question him because everyone already knew that drama was in conjunction with my middle name. I told him I’d see him soon and then ended the call. Afterward, I took my time packing, and one by one, I carried my luggage to the front door. I wasn’t sure where Roc was, but Jada was now in the kitchen eating ice cream. While licking the spoon, she kept taking peeks at me.
“Do you need some help?” she yelled from afar and laughed. “If so, I’m sure Roc will help you.”
I ignored her. When Shane arrived, I carried my luggage to the trunk of his car. He helped me put the luggage inside while Jada stood in the doorway, watching.
“Lord have mercy! Is that yo friend?” she shouted.
I didn’t bother to respond, neither did Shane. We got in the car, but the moment he got ready to pull off, Jada rushed outside, waving her hands in the air as if I’d forgotten something.
“Wha…wait a minute.” She bent down, huffing and puffing like she was out of breath. Shane lowered the window and she looked past him to talk to me. “Don’t hurt yourself watchin’ what’s on that flash drive, Jaylin, and when you see Roc’s loooong penis emerge from his sweatpants, don’t get jealous.” She winked and then shifted her eyes to Shane. Her smile got wider and she batted her lashes. “Meanwhile, my name is Jada. I’m the dick-less chick in the house, and everybody done got hooked up except for me. Is there any chance that if I give you my phone number, the two of us can hook up?”
Shane lifted his hand to show her the ring on his finger. “Sorry, sweetheart, I’m taken,” he said. “I don’t think my wife would approve.”
She stood up straight with her lips pursed. “Y’all men be killin’ me with that mess. I bet yo thang drippin’ right now from the juices of another woman. Stop playin’ so doggone much about being taken. If I was a skinny bitch with curves, the only place you’d be takin’ me is to your bedroom.” Shane’s face twisted. He appeared taken aback by Jada’s comment. She continued to rant. “Sittin’ in the driver’s seat with a head full of dreads like you all that. Negro, please.”
“Just drive off,” I said to Shane. “I’ll explain Miss Jada Mahoney to you later.”
Shane took his eyes off Jada to put the car in reverse. “I can’t wait to hear all about it. It sounds as if you may have had yourself a good time.”
I laid the seat back, put my hands behind my head, and closed my eyes. “A damn good time,” I confirmed. “And I’m looking forward to when we all meet again.”
Seeing Chase back in this house had me hot. I don’t know why I let that trick get to me. There was something about her that irked the fuck out of me. It was rare that I felt so much hatred inside for a woman.
As for Jaylin, I was glad that he was gone. I didn’t say much to him because there really wasn’t much else for me to say. On a for real tip, this was a game—one that I played to win. There was never any love for the next man, but there was some respect. Jeff provided an easy opportunity for Jaylin to exit the house. I would have been a fool for not jumping on it. Now, it was down to Jada and me. There wasn’t a chance in hell that she was going to win this challenge. The smart thing for her to do was to pack up her bags and flee. I wanted to tell her that she had no chance at winning this challenge, but I decided to play this thing out, in hopes that we would be going home soon.
I was feeling hyped about going home. I didn’t realize how difficult being away from Desa Rae, my kids, and from the fellas who worked at my shop, would be. Being here was starting to feel like torture, and it wasn’t like Jada would be able to entertain me for long. I was in deep thought while chilling by myself near the pool, thinking about my mistakes.
Minutes later, Jada came outside to chill with me. She didn’t appear to be as giddy as she had been before, maybe because she felt bad for voting Jaylin out of the house.
“Looks like it’s just you and me now,” she said sadly, sitting next to me in a lounge chair. “What are we gon’ do to keep ourselves busy?”
“I say make the best of it, ma. Keep doin’ what we’ve been doin’. I doubt that we’ll be here much longer, and I’m curious about how this gon’ end.”
Jada leaned back and put her ashy feet on the table. She had on thong sandals that didn’t make her feet look pretty at all.
“I sholl do need a pedicure. The first place I’m goin’ when I leave here is to see that Chinese lady on Chambers Road. She be workin’ the heck out of my feet, and the only thing I’m curious about is how she gon’ get all this crust to come off. That stuff done built up. See.”
Her feet looked like she’d been dancing in a mountain of flour.
The cure was lotion. She knew it and I knew it too.
“I already know who gon’ win this challenge,” she said. “And too bad you gon’ be walkin’ out of here with your head slumped down.”
“Don’t play yourself. You know I’m not goin’ out like that, so don’t count your chickens before they hatch.”
“I’m not countin’ chickens, but I will be countin’ money. That’s all I’m gon’ say. Until then, I’mma go fix us somethin’ to eat. Since Mr. Merry Maids is gone, we gon’ have to keep this place clean. Do you mind straightenin’ the TV room, takin’ out the trash, and cleanin’ the bathrooms?”
“I don’t mind.” I stood to stretch. “But what are you cookin’ for us?”
“I’m not sure yet. Jeff brought some goodies earlier today and put them in the fridge. I may fry some chicken and be done with it.”
I nodded, and five minutes later, I cranked up the music in the house and we got busy. After I was done straightening the living room, I plopped down on the couch and lit a joint. One puff in, Jada rushed over to join me.
“I need a li’l somethin’ to get me goin’ too.” She giggled. “And I feels real bad about my buddy, Jaylin, bein’ gone. I miss him already.”
I didn’t bother to comment. Like me, Jada wanted to win. She didn’t give a fuck about Jaylin. If she had, he would still be here. Her move showed me how cutthroat she could be.
She bobbed her head to rapper 2 Chainz’s, “I’m Different”.
“Yeah, baby, that’s what I am,” she said with the joint dangling from the corner of her mouth. She snapped her fingers in the air. “This…this weed knows it is fire. How much more do you got?”
She took a long drag then passed the joint back to me.
“I told you before not much, but I’mma need to hit up Prince’s neck in the hoods when I get out of here.”
“Be sure to let me know. It ain’t like I’m gon’ say anything to that punk, but you can hook me up on the side.”
“You know I will. But you and Prince should let bygones be bygones. You were kind of hard on him, and I still don’t know what you had against that brotha.”
Her face fell flat and she barked at me. “How about that nigga beat my ass. That’s what I have against him. I should reach over there to smack you for soundin’ so stupid. I wasn’t hard on his disrespectful self. I don’t like no man who is out of control and sneaky. Besides that, every time he came out of the bathroom, he always walked like he had shit stacked in his ass. It was painful to watch him stride around here like everything was all good.”
She frowned, but I cracked up. Since she was in a talkative mood, I switched the subject to Chase.
“So, tell me,” I said, licking my thick lips. “What was Chase doin’ here last night?”
She shrugged. “I guess she came to get her fuck on, but her plans fell through. Jaylin wasn’t havin’ it. He was like…like bye bitch, I’m out. I mean, he ran from that corrupt pussy.”
“Smart man, but what did she tell you about me and Jaylin? I get a feelin’ that she’s up to somethin’.”
She jumped up from the couch and sniffed the air. “Daaang. Do you smell that?”
“Smell what? Weed?”
“Nope. Seasoned fried chicken that I must get back to. As for Chase, all I can tell you is what she told me about y’all sex-wise. She said that both of y’all had crooked dicks that hurt like hell. That’s it.”
She walked off, laughing. I knew how to pump more information from her, but like Jaylin, I was confused by the crooked dick assumption.
“What’s with the crooked dick thing?” I made my way into the kitchen where Jada was. She turned down the burner on the stove to slow cook the chicken that was already looking crispy.
“I gotta make sure the inside is done,” she said, referring to the chicken. “I definitely don’t want to serve you no uncooked chicken, but uh, as far as the crooked dick thingy, you have to ask Chase about that. From what I saw, and have seen, you do have a crooked dick.”
“No, I really don’t. And I don’t believe Chase told you that bull-shit.”
She shrugged. “You asked and I told you. You don’t have to believe me, but whether she said it or not, your dick is crooked.”
There was a smirk on my face; I knew where Jada was going with this. “I know what you’re up to, ma. You want me to pull my dick out and prove it to you, don’t you?”
She threw her hand back. “Boy, please. You don’t have to prove nothin’ to me, especially when I already know the real deal.”
Just for the hell of it, I lowered my swim trunks and exposed my package to Jada. She had the audacity to squint, as if my dick was too little for her to see.
“Now that you’ve seen it, where is it crooked at?”
She widened her eyes and then blinked. “It’s too limp right now, so I can’t tell. Once it gets hard, I’ll show you how crooked it is.”
I looked down at my meat that was sitting pretty on my sacks. It wasn’t hard, but Jada had to do a li’l somethin’-somethin’ if she wanted it to grow in her direction.
“I doubt that it will get hard with you standin’ there lookin’ at it. And I’m not gon’ start strokin’ it myself.”
She licked her lips and kept her eyes locked on it. “I don’t think strokin’ it would be a good idea, but you can be sure that I would never, ever fall to my knees and put anything like that in my mouth. That thing is too, too thick and my mouth don’t stretch that wide.”
She stretched her mouth, trying to show me that my dick wouldn’t fit. “See,” she said. “How in the hell are you holdin’ down all of that?”
“Your mouth is waaay too small, but I’ll make it work. Meanwhile, we were talkin’ about the crooked dick thing.” I held my dick in my hand and moved it around so she could observe it. “Feel free to touch it and witness how straight it is. Go ahead and help yourself. You may get a rise out of it.”
Jada laughed and tiptoed her way up to me. She poked at my dick with her finger, causing it to bounce on my balls.
“Springy,” she said.
“Sometimes.”
She lifted it up, causing it to grow, at least a half-inch from the touch of her finger.
“Swelling.”
“No doubt.”
Jada nodded and then held her hand underneath it, cautiously holding it.
“Heavy.”
“Getting heavier.”
Another inch was added and Jada’s eyes grew wider.
“Oh, shit,” she shouted. “Almost there.”
“Not hardly.”
Jada grinned, and when she wrapped her hand around my package, turning it like a knob, I gave her a few more inches. That was when she snatched her hand away, as if my dick burnt her fingers. She jumped back and held her chest while taking deep breaths.
“Hu…huge!” she shouted. “Damn, Roc! You got one of those Mandingo dicks.”
“If you say so, but crooked you do not see.”
She slowly moved her head from side to side. “No, it’s not crooked. I was gettin’ ready to mention Desa Rae’s name. If I do, will it grow some more?”
On a for real tip, hearing Desa Rae’s name made my steel fall back. I pulled up my swim trunks, figuring that she wouldn’t be too happy about me showing what belonged to her to another woman.
“It could have grown some more, but you moved us in the wrong direction. Next time, leave Desa Rae out of the mix.”
“Desa Rae or no Desa Rae, you need a license to carry that thing. A woman can kill herself messin’ with you. What woman in her right mind would let you put that inside of her? That’s one brave bitch. Either Chase is a fool or a damn fool. I know she couldn’t hang with that.”
My head was swoll. It was always good to hear li’l mamas like Jada give my dick such high praises. “Nah, she couldn’t hang, but I know how to work it on certain chicks where it doesn’t hurt as much.”
She fanned herself with her hand. “In that case, I might be temp
ted. I hope you take it easy on me. I am gon’ get my turn too, right?”
Jada was known for being playful, so I wasn’t sure if she was serious or not. I had no intentions to get my freak on with her. What I had done with Chase was already fucking with my head. I didn’t need no shit with Jada to add to what I was feeling, so sex between us had to wait for another lifetime. I didn’t tell her that, though.
“I’ll be real easy on you, ma. Real easy.”
She blushed and used a two-prong fork to turn the chicken. Excited, she snapped her fingers to the music that was still playing and swayed her wide hips. Being playful, she bumped her hip with mine and then removed a piece of chicken from the hot grease so I could taste it.
“It’s too hot,” I said as she put the steamy, greasy chicken up to my mouth. “Wait until it cools off.”
“Okay. But go on and get finished cleanin’. By the time you get done with the bathroom, dinner should be ready. I’mma set the table for us and make a pitcher of Kool-Aid.”
The least I could do was put the weed bag away and get finished cleaning. Being here with Jada might not be so bad after all. I couldn’t think of any other person I would rather be left in Hell House with.
Roc was cool people. Too bad I was going to have to break him down with the bad news Chase had provided to me. I was worried about Jaylin sitting on some important information and about him having the flash drive. Right after dinner with Roc, I snuck into the bathroom to call Chase. She seemed worried too. She wasn’t happy about our plan being compromised.
I asked if she had told Jaylin anything and she hollered into the phone. “I didn’t tell him no more than you already did.”
“Lower your voice, bitch; you’re too excited. Don’t be mad at me because he rejected the pussy. That was your fault for tryin’ to throw it at him.”
“Screw you, Jada. Your mouth is about to get you dismissed from the plan. Had he not gotten a hold to that flash drive, we wouldn’t be in this predicament.”
The Reunion Show Page 3