Jaylin stood and casually walked over to Prince. He slapped his hand against Prince’s and gripped his shoulder.
“I’ll make time. I know exactly where you’ve been; been there too. Keep yo head up, and I’ll let you know how to reach me before I leave.”
Prince nodded and Jaylin walked back to his seat. Any woman who didn’t appreciate a man like Jaylin didn’t understand him. I did. Sylvia was only bitter because she had spent too much time trying to figure him out, rather than trying to figure herself out. That was unfortunate.
We all took deep breaths after Prince had spoken. His words calmed the room, with the exception of Jada who had her lips poked out. Jeff had several index cards in his hand, flipping through them.
“Before I start to ask questions from some of your fans, I would like for Jada to open her gifts. Rush, can you please bring all of the gifts from the table over here?”
Jeff’s assistant brought the gifts to Jada, setting them in front of her. She was all smiles while rubbing her hands together.
“Thanks to everyone, with the exception of Jaylin, who brought me a present. I don’t know what y’all got me, but I do appreciate y’all’s generosity.”
The first present Jada opened was from me. It was wrapped in pink paper with a big white bow on top. She looked at me smiling, while pulling the paper away from the box.
“I think I know what this is,” she said giddy as ever.
“No, I doubt it. I have a feeling that you’re going to be surprised.”
She peeked inside of the box. Almost immediately, her face fell flat. She squinted to be sure that she saw exactly what she thought she saw. She then pulled out a jumbo, black dildo with suction. The dildo was nearly twelve inches long and two inches thick. Almost everyone shook their heads, but I thought the gift was appropriate, especially since Jada hadn’t lucked up on any dick while she was here.
“Did you mold this mutha off Roc’s penis or what? I can’t believe you would give me somethin’ like this. What was your purpose?”
She didn’t seem to appreciate my gift, but I thought it was genuine. I mean, what kind of woman wouldn’t appreciate a dick as long as that one? Fake or not, Jada had to give it a try and experiment on it.
“My purpose was so that you could have something to toy with when you get home. I know that being here has made you kind of hot and bothered, but you can work with the dildo in private. We all have to go there sometimes, especially when we find ourselves in a freaky mood, alone or without a man.”
Jada held the package and examined it. “This has got to be the most ridiculous gift I’ve ever gotten. If this package was open, I would knock you upside your head with this rubber dick. I’m not stickin’ this mess inside of me. You are wrong to assume that I don’t have a man because I do. Just in case you want to know, he was here the other night, screwin’ my brains out. So don’t get things twisted. If I want some dick, it is well within my reach.”
Sylvia reached out for the package. “If you don’t want it, I’ll take it and put it to good use, especially since all of the men I’ve been with have fallen short. The last time I checked, man or not, dildos come in handy.”
She cut her eyes at Jaylin, but all he did was sigh and shrug. He also ignored our conversation about the dildo.
Jada passed the dildo to Sylvia. Even though I was highly offended, I didn’t say a word. She reached down to pick up the next present.
“I hope this one is better. It should be, especially since it’s from Roc.”
She opened the box that was wrapped in brown, plain paper. When she lifted the box, inside was a hefty bag of marijuana. She snapped her fingers and danced around in her seat.
“See, that’s what I’m talkin’ about, baby. Roc sholl knows how to treat a woman well. I knew he would come through for me. I wish he was still here, so I could give him a big ol’ hug, and a juicy, wet kiss.”
Jaylin cleared his throat. “I think you may want to look at your gift again. Better yet, smell it.”
I thought I had smelled something horrible, but I figured Jada had passed gas. We both sniffed the air, and when Jada picked up the heavy bag and sniffed it, she threw it on the ground.
“What the fuck is that?” she yelled. “Ugh, that mess smells nasty.”
As the glob of whatever laid on the ground in front of us, it was more revealing. It kind of looked like horse manure, mixed with shreds of grass. Jada opened a card that was inside and read it: The horse shit stinks, just like the mess you created. Fire it up, though, and choke on that shit. Congrats, ma, you’ve found yourself another enemy. I am who I say I am, and I will do what I say I will do. Kill and destroy.
As Jada tore up the card, Prince laughed his ass off. Sylvia sat with a twisted face, and all Jaylin did was shake his head.
“That’s fucked up,” Prince said. “And the funny thing is that shit really looks like weed.”
“Then bring yo happy ass over here and start smokin’ it. You just as stupid as Roc. Like you, he’s been talkin’ tough since day one and ain’t done nothin’. Both of y’all cowards. He lucky that he got up out of here already.”
“Silence yourself, Miss Piggy,” Prince said. “Stop makin’ that noise and open your next gift. I got you somethin’ that I think you gon’ like.”
She pouted and crossed her arms. “I’m not openin’ any more gifts, Mr. Magoo. Jeff, if you would please get this horse shit from in front of me, I would appreciate it.”
“Sorry about this,” Jeff said. “I thought the gifts would be a nice gesture.”
Jeff’s assistant and one of the bodyguards quickly removed the horse manure. It stank so badly that everybody winced and frowned.
“Now that the horse manure is gone,” Jeff said, “Jada, please open your other gifts. You only have two more of them to open. Then we can move on to more questions.”
She sighed and cut her eyes at Jeff. She unwrapped another pretty package. This one was from Sylvia.
“I hope this is somethin’ I can use,” Jada said and then looked at Sylvia.
“I think you’ll be able to use it. Hopefully, quite often.”
She opened the box and inside was a Hooked on Phonics box, labeled the premium edition for ages seven to nine. There was also a small dictionary inside of the box. She looked at the dictionary, quickly picked it up, and flung it past me. Luckily, Sylvia ducked. She shot up from her chair and moved toward Jada. Jada jumped from her seat and held up her tightened fist.
“Come on, bitch,” she said, rolling her hands in circles. “I’ve been waitin’ to tear that ass up. Just a few more steps and you gon’ run right into these knuckles.”
I was going to let them fight, but Jaylin stood to intervene. He addressed Sylvia, who was all mouth and no action. She didn’t want none of Jada. If she had, she would have moved forward.
“Go take your seat so we can hurry up and get done with this,” he said. Sylvia didn’t budge. She evil-eyed Jada and stood with her arms folded.
“You’d better listen to the man,” Jada said. She drew an imaginary line on the ground, using the cane. “ ’Cause if you step over this line, yo ass is mine.”
Jaylin reached for Sylvia’s arm, but she snatched away from him. She pointed her finger close to the tip of his nose. He gazed at her without a blink, as if she had lost her mind.
“Don’t touch me ever again,” she hissed. “Especially if you don’t want to get spit on.”
“The day you spit on me will be your last day on earth. I’m trying to save you from getting the shit beat out of you, but at this point, I don’t give a damn.”
He sat back down and opened the pathway for Jada and Sylvia to clash. Sylvia did exactly what I figured she was going to do—she sat her fake self down.
“Finished?” Jeff said. “I mean, this is so uncalled for. I’m at a loss for words, and I don’t quite know what to say.”
“I know exactly what to say,” Jada said. “Better yet, I know what to do.”
“You are so ungrateful,” Sylvia said. “I paid almost seventy dollars for that gift. I purchased the premium edition for you, because it appears that’s where education started to fail you. I’m sure there were plenty of things you could have learned from that kit, but your loss, Jada, not mine.”
Jada stuck up her middle finger and didn’t bother to respond to Sylvia. Truthfully, I wanted to see the two of them fight. I disliked Sylvia so much that I wanted Jada to wear her out. I was hoping that Jaylin did something to her too, but he didn’t seem like the kind of man who would put his hands on a woman. Then again, if she had spit on him, I wondered what he would have done.
“I guess I may as well open this last gift,” Jada said. “No matter what is it, Prince, I swear I’m not gon’ argue with you.”
Prince shrugged. “That’s because you won’t have to.”
Jada opened the box that had black tape on it. Inside was what looked to be a simple gift card. Jada removed it from the box and read what was on the tiny card.
“Yo cookin’ was good, but yo attitude stinks. The gift card is worth fifty dollars. Since you can’t buy yourself a new personality, buy some new pots and pans with it. Congrats on yo win. The Almighty Prince aka Street Soldier.”
Prince looked away and whistled. Jada was trying to hold back her smile, but when she couldn’t, she stood and reached out her arms.
“Aww, give me a hug, boo. Thanks. That was real sweet of you.”
As Jada used the cane to limp forward, Prince stood and backed away. “Don’t come over here. I appreciate yo cookin’, but that’s it. Do not touch me, please.”
They were being real playful. I thought it was kind of nice of them to make peace with their situation. Thing is, I doubted that it would last for long. And what in the hell was up with Jada and this cane? It was obvious that she was faking like she was hurt. Little did she know, she looked hideous.
She plopped back in her chair and looked at Jaylin. “Jaylin, where my gift at? Why you, of all people, ain’t get me nothin’?”
“Because I only buy presents for people who are special to me. That’s why.”
“So, are you sayin’ that I’m not special to you?”
“You’re special. Just not special to me.”
She licked out her tongue. “Screw you, you curly head, crooked dick fool. Ugh, I swear you get on my doggone nerves with that smart mouth of yours.”
To no surprise, he didn’t respond. We all looked at Jeff, who sat with the index cards still in his hand.
“Okay, let’s move on. I can’t ask you guys all of these questions, but I will choose a few. Please answer only if the question is directed to you.”
We all agreed.
“Jaylin, you received the majority of the inquiries, along with Roc, but he’s not here to answer them. Chase, you were next, so I’ll start with Jaylin and then you. Keli from St. Louis believes that Roc has a lot to lose from having sex with Chase. She wants to know, Jaylin, if you regret having sex with Chase or do you think you have anything to lose.”
I was a little tense. Jaylin was known for throwing shade and hurting feelings, even if he wasn’t trying to. I knew he would be honest in his response, but there was no denying that the truth sometimes hurt.
He held up three fingers and looked at Jeff. “There are only three things in my life that I’ve ever regretted. One, that I wasn’t around to save my mother from being killed; two, that I haven’t been able to shake my feelings for a woman I consider a dear friend; and three, that I didn’t honor my vows and I fucked over the only woman I have truly ever loved. I regret nothing that has happened between me and Chase, and when I get ready to go there again, I will. I have nothing to lose. Every decision that I make benefits me, and in one way or another, I always gain something from my actions.”
I wanted to jump up and down, scream for that matter, because I figured Jaylin was feeling me. His eyes said so. I was so good at reading men. Sylvia and Jada didn’t like his response, but too darn bad. I loved it.
“Thank you, Jaylin,” Jeff said and then shifted his eyes to me. I was surprised that he was being nice to me. I’d been playing him off since I’d left. I barely answered any of his calls, and I had only answered when I needed him to get certain information to Jada.
“Chase, Chris from Illinois had an interesting question. First, she applauds your scandalous behavior and attitude. She’s dying to know your motive and she wants to know why you willingly gave yourself to two men in the house and not to Prince?”
Prince removed his cap and scratched his head. “I was wonderin’ the same thing too. Why not, Chase?”
I laughed and answered as best as I could. “No offense to Prince, but I’m only interested in men, not boys. Prince still has some growing up to do, but if I was the same age as him, or close to it, I may have gone that route. While some people make a big deal about sex, I don’t. I think when you find yourself attracted to someone, make sure they’re strapped up and go for it. It makes no sense to waste time creating fantasies about men who your heart desires. I like to explore and live out my fantasies. That’s exactly what I did. So my motive was to satisfy my desires to the fullest. After that, I checked out of here because I assumed Roc and Jaylin would take issue with my approach to satisfy myself.”
“Ladies and gentlemen,” Sylvia said. “Those are the true words, spoken from a whore. What a shame. How can anyone admire you?”
I crossed my legs and laughed at Sylvia’s comment. “Jealousy will only continue to hurt you, not me. And if you think I care about you calling me a whore, think again. I may even agree with you, but at the end of the day, so-damn-what if I am a whore? I’m good at what I do, and my whore status doesn’t allow me to be a scorned woman like you who is mad because you keep running into a brick wall, searching for true love that you’ll never find. Wise up, hooker, you’re getting too old for me to have to keep schooling you.”
She had nothing else to say but “Whatever.” I guessed I shut her up, at least until Jeff posed the next question to her.
“Sylvia, Candace from California wants to know why friends don’t appear to be off-limits for you? To her, you made a mistake with your best friend’s man, and then you turned around and had sex with that man’s friend. Are you willing to do brothers?”
“Boom,” I said unable to control myself. “Please pick up your face from the ground because Candace just splattered it.”
Sylvia put up her hand, ignoring me. “We have no control over who we fall in love with. And if we find ourselves attracted to someone in particular, so be it. I do have limitations, and I would never do anything like knowingly sleep with brothers. What happened between me and Jonathan was an isolated incident that I learned some valuable lessons from. What happened between me and Jaylin was a huge mistake that I regret. But it’s not like I can go to him and ask for my goodies back. What’s done is done. No one is going to make me feel guilty about my choices.”
I didn’t bother to offer my feedback. The only reason she regretted being with Jaylin was because she felt dissed. If he would make her an offer to leave right now, she would jump on it. That was why I considered her a phony.
Jada had been kind of quiet. That was a relief to all of us. I hated when Jeff called her out to answer the next question.
“Jada, many of the comments that came in about you were positive. But Bernice from Indiana said she found you to be a bit much. She had hoped that you would be voted out of the house, and she wonders what you believe you contributed to Hell House.”
With her mouth dropped open, Jada looked around and then pointed to her chest. “Who me?” she said to Jeff. “You need to recheck those index cards. I can’t believe she thought I was a bit much, but nobody else was. Please find out more about who this Bernice person is, because she don’t know how to chill out and have fun. Hell House
wouldn’t have been nothin’ without me in it. That’s why I’m gon’ happily walk my tail up out of here with one hundred thousand dollars. I’m sure she won’t be happy about that, but Miss Bernice, do me a favor, please. Mind your business, get you some black dick in your life, then go somewhere and sit down. After that, hopefully your attitude and reception about me will change. Next.”
Like a real dummy, the word she was reaching for was perception, not reception. Bernice was on point about Jada, whether she liked it or not. My mouth was covered the whole time she spoke. Prince was shaking his head and so was Sylvia. Jaylin’s nonchalant demeanor remained on display, and all Jeff could do was move on to the next question.
“Prince, there’s no secret that you were the most disliked person in the house. I guess you rubbed many people the wrong way, but the next question is from Nikki in Atlanta. She says that with all of the fatherless children you have in St. Louis, why not focus more on trying to win this challenge, so you could have money to support your children? She felt as if your effort was lacking and you had more reasons than anyone did to win.”
Prince removed his cap and turned it backwards. He leaned forward and clenched his hands together.
“Man, I don’t want to hear that noise about how many people couldn’t get down with me. If I rubbed them the wrong way by stayin’ true to myself, so what. The lady who thinks I got fatherless children runnin’ around in St. Louis would be incorrect. There were several chicks who lied to me about those babies bein’ mine, and the two kids who are really by me are bein’ handled. Maybe I didn’t give it my all to win the challenge, but with the women in the house ridin’ Roc’s and Jaylin’s nuts, I was cooked from day one. That was pretty clear, and I was lucky to be in the house for as long as I was. What I’m sayin’ is, strategy or no strategy, the women would have voted me out, regardless.”
The Reunion Show Page 15