by Olivia Arran
“I’m going upstairs. I think I need…” I wracked my brain, “…another shower.” I looked down at his hands that were still wrapped around my ass, cocking an eyebrow in question.
Flushing, he quickly dropped his hands as though they had been burned.
I continued, lacing my words with a honeyed drawl, “You might want to knock before you enter — since I’ll be all…naked…wet…slippery…from the shower.”
‘Shower’ he mouthed silently with me, his mouth dropping open slightly. He blinked as his eyes lost focus, a shudder rippling through him.
Gotcha! Score one for the cat. I mentally fist pumped the air, sashaying out of the room, leaving Sean enjoy his daydreams.
My jaguar roared her approval. Now, to put step one of the plan into action.
***
Sean
She had cast a spell on me, the bewitching feline, with her bedroom voice and knock ‘em dead curves. I was a goner, and I finally had the balls to admit it. I had asked her for a fuck, hoping to rile her enough to spark hate. And there had been a moment, right after her gorgeous eyes had widened in shock, when I thought she could truly see me — the beast trapped inside a man’s body. But when she had stormed over, I could clearly see the lust brimming in her eyes, ready to overflow. That and…something else.
She crackled with an energy, an acceptance of all that life had to give — the good and the bad. Being with her would be like standing a little too close to the sun, bathing in its warmth and reveling in its life-force, but I would also feel the burn along with the solar flares of passion. She made me wish I were a better man — a man with a choice. With options. But, I had none — they had been taken from me, long ago during my childhood, when I was formed and molded into the man I was today. He had seen to that. My father.
I unlocked my fingers from their tight clasp on the couch, forcing my hands to unclench their grip on the cushions. There was no use going down this path, reliving old memories. Nothing had changed, everything that had happened had already been and gone. I could only learn from it, use it—
Shit! How long had she been on her own? I sprinted toward the door. You stupid idiot! I berated myself, promising satisfying variations of self-mutilation if she were—
I paused, my hand on her door. She was taking a shower. All naked, wet…and slippery. I broke out in a sweat, all blood rushing to my groin, my cock swelling with interest.
Down boy! Now is not the time!
I could hear the shower running inside the room. Visions of Lisa, lathered up with soap, bubbles decorating, barely covering…
My beast panted inside my head, urging me to break the door down, to find and take my mate.
It was like a cold shower. Cursing under my breath, I adjusted my jeans and pushed open the door. Steam hit me like a wall. Like walking into a sauna, the heat was nearly suffocating. She liked her showers steaming hot then. I added the tidbit to the mental file on Lisa I was desperately trying not to build.
“Lisa?” I called, standing my ground and gulping in the cooler air by the open door. More images piled on, Lisa with skin tinged a rosy pink from the shower, droplets of water running down, pooling in the valley between her luscious—
“Lisa?” I called a little louder, my voice tinged with desperation.
No answer. Damn that woman. I strode toward the bathroom door, shoving it open. She wanted me to find her, all wet and—
Dammit! She wasn’t here! I scanned the small room again thoroughly, hoping that I had missed her, somehow. The shower was running…but she wasn’t—
A roar of rage tore from my lips, fury biting into me. She had been taken. The motherfu—
Luis skidded to a halt next to me. “What? Where is she? Sean, talk to me!” he huffed out, breathless from running.
“She’s gone.”
“I thought you were—”
I rounded on the smaller man, knowing that my beast owned my eyes. “Don’t. Even. Go. There,” I gritted out, shame and despair fueling my anger, my beast teetering on the edge of taking control.
Luis took a small step back, then held his ground. My estimation of him rose as he stared me down. “She wasn’t taken, Sean. Smell, goddammit! You’re a wolf — use your nose!”
Startled, I took a deep breath, sorting through the usual scents — searching for the unusual. Lisa filled my nose, her scent strong and vibrant. My mouth watered, as tangy oranges laced with the delicate sweetness of orchards caressed my senses. For some reason the smells worked together, like yin and yang — strong and delicate co-existing.
“Focus, man,” Luis muttered, with a strained chuckle.
Taking another deep breath I searched for another scent. One that should not be there. I still couldn’t smell Luis, I shot him a wry look, to which he just shrugged. Digging deeper, I closed my eyes, calling on all my natural talent as a tracker.
My eyes flew open. “There’s nothing,” my mouth hung open in shock.
“I know, man. Nobody took her. Or, a jaguar took her…”
“One of yours?”
“Nope, can’t be. Nobody knew she was missing from Ian’s pride. For all we knew, she was happily mated.” He winced in apology. “It can’t be the beta wolf, we’d smell that stench.” His eyes narrowed in thought. “On the other hand, it could be Ian’s pride. I’m still not sure what really happened there.”
“Where is Ian’s pride?”
“…Or she could have left on her own. You know, of her own volition. Free will, and all that?”
“She wouldn’t—” I broke off, suddenly unsure. I had told her to fix her own problems, hadn’t I?
“Fuck!” I growled, slamming a hand against a convenient desk.
“Yeah, now you’re getting to know my sister—”
“Where is Ian’s pride?”
“I’ll show you—” he held up a hand, warding off any arguments, “—it’ll be quicker than you trying to follow your bond.”
I froze in shock. What bond?
“You are her true mate, aren’t you?”
Shit! I was stupid fool! I hadn’t even…I’d never…I reached out, mentally searching for the thread I didn’t dare to believe…it was there, stretched so thin I worried it would break. But, I could feel an echo of her, the tiniest hint of what she was feeling. Trepidation. Shame. Fear. I growled in frustration. I had to reach her before anything happened.
Luis continued, his intelligent eyes taking everything in. “We can’t go by car, though — no roads lead to where we’re going. And, I can’t go in with you, not without an invitation.” His face creased up with disgust. “Tradition dictates that visiting Alphas, and their successors, have to either be invited or announced in advance.”
“Yeah, your sister mentioned that little nugget — about you being the next Alpha.” I said, snapping out of it and heading for the door. Catching his exasperated look I added, “What? You don’t want it?” I broke into a jog, taking the stairs three at a time and bursting out through the door and into the night.
“It’s not that I don’t want it, more like, will I get it?”
I raised my brows in unasked question, indicating that he take the lead across the meadow. Best not to shift, clothes would probably be an asset when confronting Lisa’s mate.
“Well, let’s just say — I’m not everything that Dad expected, or wanted, in a son.”
Ah, right. “Well, he’s an idiot, then.”
Luis silently nodded his appreciation and then sped up, setting a punishing pace deep into the forest.
Damn it, Lisa. What have you gone and done now?
CHAPTER EIGHT
Lisa
I entered the village from the far side, dust from the trail kicking up in my wake, as I walked down the deserted path. Small, hut-like dwellings were dotted haphazardly around the clearing. Clean and well maintained — they looked empty, but I knew better. Tools were scattered in the dirt, washing abandoned, and toys strewn around. The pride was shunning me — still.
I waited for the familiar ache to start, the clenching around my heart, but it was strangely absent. Maybe I’d finally moved on, started to believe the lies that I had been telling myself — that I didn’t care, that it didn’t matter.
Keeping my back straight and chin up, I marched through the village, toward the main house. This was going to end, once and for all.
At the end of the path stood a larger hut, one I knew well. One I had once, for a short while, called home. The walls were carved out of wood, the roof woven with twigs and straw. I knew that inside the walls were smooth, the wood emitting a comforting warmth, and the floor was laid with colorful, lovingly made, hand woven mats. I knew this, because I had woven at least two of them myself.
The door swung open, a lithe figure stepping out onto the path. He stood tall, nearly 6’, naked except for a pair of shorts that hung off his hips. Lean and muscled, his body rippled with an understated strength.
I stopped a few feet away. “Ian,” I said, tilting my head slightly. I was not going to cower. He was not my alpha — not anymore.
A movement behind him, and Jasmine appeared at his back. She smiled at me, warmth and compassion in her gaze. Maybe even…understanding?
Ian focused on an empty spot above my head. “Luisa. What are you doing here?”
“We need to talk.” I moved a step closer.
Ian’s eyes flicked to mine, and shock rolled through me. He was scared. Of me? He stayed stubbornly silent.
I gritted my teeth, resisting the urge to march up there and force him to see me. “We can talk out here in the open, or privately, inside. Up to you.”
Jasmine laid a small hand on his arm, the gesture one of support, but also prompting him. For what? I didn’t know.
“Luisa—” she started.
“You can’t speak to her, Jas,” Ian muttered under his breath, not turning around. “Not while she is still shunned.”
“Oh, Ian. This has to stop,” Jasmine shot back. “She has a right—”
“No, Jas. We can’t — I can’t.”
Confused, I watched the exchange. What was Ian playing at? Whatever it was, I didn’t have time for it.
I took a deep breath. “Outside, then. Works for me. I want you to release me from the mating.” The words came out fast, tumbling over each other in a rush. This would destroy my name, undo the truce between prides, but maybe I could protect my family from the shame. I would find a way.
“Now, Luisa…” Ian growled.
“You don’t want me. I’m no good to you, and I’m willing to own up to my…shortcomings,” I ground out, just wanting to get this over with.
“It would destroy you!” Jasmine’s voice was shocked. “I thought you wanted this? To live apart…to save your family?”
“I do! I did…”
“What’s changed?” she asked softly, then her eyes widened in surprise. “You found him?”
I nodded.
“Well, that changes everything.” She turned to Ian, her hand looped comfortably around his waist. “Ian, love. It’s time to come clean. Everything out in the open. This isn’t fair anymore, and I don’t want our being together to cause others sadness. I love you, you know that, even if…”
Ian turned to her, panic in his eyes, willing her to stop.
Her mouth clamped shut, but then she continued, “We could be together — properly. Our souls fully bound. Don’t you want that?” she pleaded with him. They continued to argue in hissed whispers, too low for me to hear.
I could hear doors opening and footsteps behind me. Glancing back I saw that the whole pride had gathered behind me, waiting to see what Ian decided.
As I watched, a toddler waddled up to me, her chubby hands reaching and grabbing at my legs. Maria, I realized with a start. I had helped deliver her—
Her mother immediately darted forward, snatching the child away, shooting me a look tinged with disgust and disappointment.
Yeah, that still hurt. I winced inwardly, watching the child being hauled away.
Turning my attention back to the couple, I scuffed my foot in the dirt. I had asked for what I wanted. It should be easy enough for Ian. What the hell was taking so him long? Did he enjoy seeing me grovel?
Finally, Ian turned to me, resignation on his face. “I’ll do what you ask, Luisa. But Jasmine has pointed out that as Alpha—”
“Your father?” I butted in, shocked.
Ian nodded, grief etched on his face. “Six month ago. Anyway, as I was saying — as Alpha, I have a duty to my pride, one of honesty.”
Jasmine nudged him, linking her hand with his.
He coughed, obviously embarrassed. “You were shunned from the pride for not providing an heir—”
“She was what?” a furious voice echoed through the clearing. A voice I knew well.
Spinning around I saw Sean storming out of the forest, his face pulled tight with anger. Marching up next to me, he pinned Ian with his gaze.
“I said…she was what?” he demanded again, his whole body vibrating next to mine.
He was glorious, a rolling dark cloud seeking justice — for me.
“Sean, it’s fine. In the past. I just—”
“It is not fine,” he ground out, not breaking from his staring match with Ian. “He threw you out? Because you couldn’t get pregnant?”
His indignant rage sparked a warmth deep inside me. To have someone care, someone fight for me.
“But, it’s true. I couldn’t.”
Sean rounded on me. Towering above me, he leaned forward, invading my personal space. “Even so, he shouldn’t have thrown you out, shunned you. He’s your mate!”
“Was my mate, you lug-headed-grump-of-a-canine! And if he hadn’t, then I wouldn’t have met you! Unless you’re like him, and think that a woman is only worth something if she can breed!” I shouted back, stretching up onto my tiptoes and squaring off with him.
We glared at each other, our faces inches apart, sparks flying between us.
Ian coughed loudly, breaking the tension. “Uh, okay. What I was trying to say was that I owe my pride honesty. Therefore—” he swallowed nervously, “—I have to come clean. Luisa didn’t get pregnant, and I blamed it on her. It was easier. But, now Jasmine—”
“Can’t get pregnant either, even though you’re mates,” Sean growled, his eyes narrowing.
Gasps of shock reverberated around the pride as the connection was made. Ian and Jasmine hadn’t hidden their affair, but the pride obviously hadn’t known that they were mates, and hadn’t expected Jasmine to bear an heir.
I sucked in my breath, my mind reeling. “You said I was barren. That I was useless as a mate. You made me believe it was me!” I said woodenly, numb with shock.
I wasn’t barren? After all I had gone through — all I had forced myself to accept. I could have children? My lips turned up, as a big grin spread across my face. I could have children!
But that meant…I looked at Ian, seeing clearly for the first time the reason for his embarrassment, his nerves. “You’re?”
He nodded, his jaw tight.
Jasmine met my eyes, sorrow pooling in hers.
“You good for nothing—” Sean spat out, throwing himself toward Ian. His fist slammed into Ian’s jaw, snapping his head back and sending the smaller man sprawling in the dirt. Howling with rage, Sean leapt on top of him, dragging him to sitting and delivering another punishing blow.
Ian made no move to defend himself, seeming to accept his punishment. Blood poured down his face as he gestured everyone to stay back.
“Sean, no!” I cried out, racing toward him.
He froze, arm cocked. Looking over at me, his eyes glowed liquid gold, teeth and claws shifted.
I slowed to a walk, desperately holding his gaze. “Sean, no,” I repeated calmly. “This is not what I want. I can release him now, disown him as my mate.” I wanted to look at Ian, but I couldn’t break the strange hold I had over Sean. “He has to live with the sorrow of never
having children. He — they — already have a hard path to walk. And, that’s enough for me. ” That was if he managed to stay Alpha. He wasn’t in a strong position now that his fertility was in question, and I knew there would be numerous challenges — it was the way of a pride.
Sean blinked at me, human comprehension slowly swimming to the surface.
I summoned up my last ounce of courage. “I choose you, Sean. Even if you don’t choose me. I am sick of having my decisions made for me. All you alphas, betas — whatever — think you can decide what is best for every-damn-one. Well, nope, not me. I choose. And I choose you. I’ve sorted my problems. Now it’s your turn. So, what do you think of that, big guy?” Hand on my hip, I cocked an eyebrow at him in challenge.
Sean blinked again, his eyes fading back to the sable brown that I loved. Yup, I owned it — I loved the big oaf. And, he was mine. Whether he admitted it or not, you didn’t lose your temper like that unless you felt something.
Claws retracting and fangs receding, Sean gripped Ian around the neck, hoisting him off the ground.
“Do it,” Sean growled at me.
“I disown you as my mate, Ian Firbank. You have wronged me, and my pride. I denounce all ties with you. I know you no more, these people are my witness.” My voice rang out, loud in the silence. The air left my lungs in a whoosh.
Complete silence, then one by one, voices sounded. “I hear,” they called their acknowledgment.
When the last voice had spoken, Jasmine added hers. “I hear,” she murmured, eyes shining with tears. “I will miss you, pride sister.”
“I’ll miss you, too.” And, I would. She had been kind to me, at a time when it felt like everything in my life was falling to pieces.
A garbled sound came from Ian.
“Sean, loosen your grip,” I hissed.
Gulping in air, Ian straightened his back and looked out at his pride. “I hear, and acknowledge, Luisa Shadowpaw. You know me no more.”
Shadowpaw? Sean mouthed at me, a smirk on his handsome face. Then, turning back to Ian, he slapped the man on the shoulder. “It’s ‘Lisa’ now. Not that you need to know that.”