and I managed to get as far as the end without falling taking blows from every direction because the main thing was not to fall for I realized that if you fell it was all over because if you fell it was clear they would pulverize you they could hit you any way they wanted and so I took the blows but I kept going and I got there to the end but the awful thing was that when I got to the end I realized then that that wasn’t where I had to go because I saw that they were making people go into the first yard which meant I’d done half a corridor’s length for nothing then I turned round and had to go back the same way and for a second time go through the blows I went back the same way and I got as far as the exercise gate where we had to go in because I saw that there was a masked guard opening the gate
however the gates leading to the exercise yards precisely for fear of kidnappings this gate never opens out at right-angles it doesn’t open like an ordinary door on the ground there’s fixed on the ground there’s a peg that ensures the door only opens at an angle of forty-five degrees in other words it opens very little so that only one person at a time can get through and sideways at that the one opening the gate was an NCO and it was up to him to judge whether someone had taken enough of a beating or not and he judged by whether the guy could still stand up or not which meant if he saw that someone could still stand up and wasn’t dragging himself along on his knees then when you reached the gate he closed it in your face
well I remember that I reached the gate and I managed to get myself inside this gate but since the gate opened in the way I’ve mentioned it only just opened it meant I didn’t manage to get right inside while these guys on the outside kept on hitting me and so they managed to pull me back out from the gate to pull me away from the gate as I was going through and hit me even more and the last thing I remember about this beating was as one of them was pulling me by the hair and then there was a piece of luck because I had a very long scarf of very thick red wool that China had given me and I always wore it and when the carabinieri had arrived up there I couldn’t decide whether to keep it on or take it off
it was a very long scarf it could have been a noose and I started thinking they’re going to strangle me now right here with this scarf it was the first thought I had I thought of taking it off but then I said no I’m not taking it off and instead of taking it off I wrapped it right round my neck and so then when this guy grabbed me by the hair while at the same time another one was pulling at my jacket the thing I remember is that I got hit really hard I’m not sure if it was with a truncheon or an iron bar a terrible blow on the neck here on the neck and the result was that I fainted only that by good luck there was this layer of wool scarf that softened the blow in fact later there was no sign of it only at the time I fainted but since I was already half-way inside the gate someone inside pulled me through into the exercise yard at last
20
Once we’re in the city the car turns on the siren it goes through a red light the driver is enjoying himself going fast you can see that in the city he enjoys accelerating sharply suddenly putting on the brakes overtaking all the other cars then suddenly after a mass of bends that seem to me like one long bend that goes on forever it comes to a halt in front of a big doorway in a building all ablaze with yellow lights with squad cars going in and out of it with the blue light turning on the roof and I can read Police Headquarters on a plaque opposite me on the wall the police officers at the door wave our car in and the guy goes through the doorway with the usual sharp acceleration and then stops with the brakes screeching among a row of blue and white squad cars
before getting out I ask but weren’t we supposed to go to the courthouse for questioning the one who’s in front who’s the one in charge tells me that at this hour the courthouse has been closed for a while and that I’ll be questioned there at police headquarters that the magistrates are already there waiting for me we get out and they take me through a small door off the courtyard leading to a stair so very narrow that it can only be climbed in single file and we start going up these stairs me in front and all the others following the stair twists after every ten or fifteen steps I can hear the shuffling tread of our feet echoing in that narrow space and we keep on climbing the stairs endless stairs and landings I get out of breath every so often I stop on a landing but the one behind me always says get a move on
we reach what’s clearly the top floor because there are no more stairs and at the end of a short corridor we come out into a little room with two small armchairs and a small sofa upholstered in rather grimy green plastic they motion me to sit down the NCO goes out of another door and comes back right away and tells me to go through I go into another small room that’s full of people all in plain clothes most of them young wearing jeans and duffle jackets beards and even long hair I’d never seen police disguised as comrades before and I was a bit astonished by it all I didn’t understand why all these people were there waiting for me then I realized that it was the culmination of a police operation in which they’d obviously taken part and which ended with me
behind the long narrow desk there’s a long thin guy who gives me a single stern look as soon as I come in and then goes back to reading from a pile of papers he has in front of him they sit me down on a broken-down wooden chair that looks as if it’s going to collapse at any moment and that creaks with my slightest movement I’m sitting in front of the long thin guy whose head is still bent over the papers and I recognize that face because I’ve seen it before in the newspapers that guy is Judge Lince the others are all standing leaning against the wall there’s very little space between them and the desk and when somebody new has to come in there’s a general movement to make way for him and they all press back against the wall
one door of the room is open and outside it there are more people walking backwards and forwards they put the handcuffs back on me with my hands in front of me and the NCO who’d brought me there says that they’re leaving that they’re going home that they’ve done their report and they’ve put it in that there’s a pile of material they’ve confiscated and that they’ve left it downstairs the judge looks up briefly and nods approval and says goodbye then suddenly he turns to me looking me straight in the face and he asks me if I’ve got myself a lawyer I say no he says it’s late and that at that hour it’s virtually impossible to find a lawyer willing to come there but that all the same they already have one they’ve notified there and if I accept him as a lawyer appointed by the Court then tomorrow I can name another of my choosing
at once the lawyer appears through the open door he’s so much like the rest of the people there that I think he must surely be a policeman too and that they’re playing a dirty trick on me but when Lince has my particulars typed up by a fat uniformed guy behind a massive ancient typewriter and he dictates first my particulars and then the lawyer’s which I can’t even remember any more and he names him lawyer so and so I’m somewhat reassured and I look at the lawyer in the hope of some shared understanding he looks at me impassively sitting there on his creaking chair fiddling with a big bunch of keys and getting on my nerves with the noise he’s making Judge Lince then starts speaking to me his tone of voice is hard hostile and aggressive and he uses the formal lei
do you intend to answer you can choose not to answer if you prefer no I say I intend to answer and I try to be as steady as I can and I’m thinking that that atmosphere is worse than all the question and answer situations I’ve ever been in in my life all the teachers from primary school and secondary school and so on you’re aware what you’re charged with aren’t you no not exactly but was nothing said to you when you were arrested no nothing clear-cut Dottor Donnola only referred to weapons that were supposed to have been found in a house that I rented three years ago and all the while the guy behind the big typewriter is typing with a diabolical racket that interferes with the words I’m speaking and gets on my nerves so when he stops from fear of not having been understood I repeat everything from s
cratch
then I get very anxious thinking that I must be even more careful about everything I say and I realize that I’m not prepared for this business that I don’t know the procedure that just a single word out of place can land me in a mess but I’m thinking that I have to keep answering because I’m sure I can cope with it explaining how things are even if I feel that I’m there alone against all those around me and who I can’t see and who are listening to me in silence and my thoughts turn again to beatings I think of how they can beat me up and instinctively I look at my lawyer to make sure that he at least is on my side but I realize at once that I’m fooling myself that this guy couldn’t care less he isn’t even looking at me his only concern is with cleaning his nails with the point of a key
precisely goes Lince you admit to it then admit to what I say that the house was rented by me yes I admit to it there’s even a contract no what I meant by my question was if you admit that the arms found there are yours no what do you mean arms I know nothing at all about these arms I don’t know who could have brought them there what do you mean you don’t know there were arms in your house no no wait I don’t live in my house any more that house I mean I’ve never said I live in that house and while this is happening I’m looking anxiously at the guy who’s bashing it out at the rate of machine gun fire without pausing to look up for a second Lince notices and he tells me not to worry because afterwards he’ll have me read the statement and if I don’t agree with it I don’t have to sign it but that everything that’s said has to be written down
at any rate I start talking again and I say it’s more than two months since I stopped living in that house and that I sublet it and right away Lince asks who to as if that was just what he’d been waiting for and he jerks forward staring right at me and I feel shitty and I’m thinking what a mess what do I do now I can hardly come out with the name but as if reading my mind Lince starts right back at me and says if you’re not going to answer you know you can always refuse to answer the questions it’s up to you I’m standing there still with my mouth shut like an idiot with no idea what to say then Lince smiling ironically says very well you don’t answer we’ll have it recorded that you don’t answer and before I can say a thing but what could I say I don’t know anyway that guy sets off his diabolical racket and a split second later he’s stopped it
shit I thought I’ve had it now he’s got it down in writing and that’s how it’ll stay but Lince breaks the silence again however I’ll tell you the name myself the names rather because we’ve arrested your comrades all four of them and he mentions Gelso’s name and three others I’ve never heard of it occurs to me it isn’t true that the names are to make me talk it’s a trick and if it turns out they haven’t arrested them and they’ve only found the arms if even that you know these people don’t you no I don’t know them to be precise I know one of them there’s one I know Gelso but I’ve never even heard of the other three and would it be this Gelso you sublet the house to damn we’re back there again he’s come in on a different tack I couldn’t say I don’t know Gelso but there’s no way I could tell him I let the house to him what a mess I say nothing more and the truth is I feel quite muddled
so that’s it you don’t want to answer this question we’ve already got it in the statement but look you can be sure there’s time to think again there’s no problem at all in desperation I look at the lawyer say something for christ sake help me out but he was looking at me with an expression that said what the hell are you stalling for and Lince comes straight back at me very well you don’t want to say let’s continue the three you say you don’t know have refused to speak and they’ve declared themselves political prisoners while this Gelso you’ve admitted to knowing has also given me this story about the sublet therefore you lose nothing by admitting it even if I have to tell you frankly I don’t believe it I’m sure you’ve agreed your stories between you in advance but be assured that inquiries will prove you knew one another and that you too were well aware of the existence of those arms in your house
and he goes on raising his voice threateningly but you know that what amounts to a real arsenal was found in your house who do you expect to convince that you knew nothing about it listen for your own good I advise you to tell everything you know if you don’t want to run into worse trouble so if you want we’ll do the statement all over again we’ll tear this one up and you’ll tell me how things really are all you have to tell me is the truth but the real truth not what you and your friends concocted if you tell me the truth your crime could be altered from armed conspiracy and possession of weapons to aiding and abetting I can promise you I’ll argue for this before the investigating judge otherwise I’ll insist on the heaviest charges and you must know that with these charges you’ll face years and years in prison
21
After the secondary school certificate exams I’d made up my mind to leave home to stop living with my family to leave the village for good and move elsewhere to rent a house and live there with China and the other comrades who made up our affinity group that’s what we called it affinity group precisely because we were all in affinity about our way of living there was a natural understanding between us about how to take things about how to live them there was a great stress on doing things together in living together the whole time there were five of us and for all five the movement was our interest and our first commitment there were two girls and three guys and we’d decided to live together as a natural result of our involvement with one another as a small group
all five of us were fed up to the teeth with family life with going through the motions of being part of the family that really came down to just mealtimes and sleeping mealtimes where there was nothing to say to one another round the table there was no communication there was no interest or involvement and apart from these estranged empty times we spent with our families we spent all the rest of the time on the move like strays at the centre in the movement’s haunts with comrades and that’s where there was interest involvement communication there were things happening experimentation research the movement was my family with its dozens of open houses hospitable available that was where I had hundreds of siblings to talk to and do things with
the two main problems were money and living space the space had to be big enough to provide everyone with a room of their own as for money there was a bit of a problem because only two of us had a job and a regular wage me and the others who didn’t have work would have to look for it however Cotogno and Gelso said not to worry because they could guarantee the rent for a little while and the living expenses too and food would be a shared kitty you put money in whenever you had it and that was all then maybe we’d take turns at going to work the ones who were working now would stop for a bit and the others would work and so on so really the money problem was a problem that could be solved
we started going round inquiring at the agencies but there was nothing to be found and what we did find was at prices we couldn’t possibly afford then one day going round the outskirts Cotogno saw a house a little two-storey villa with a small garden in front it was clear no one had lived in it for years there were weeds even trailing up the walls yet there was no to let or for sale sign we rang a few doorbells nearby until we found out that the owner of that empty house for the past six years was a solicitor in the city called Spinone we looked in the phone book and we found the address of Spinone the solicitor and we made up our minds to go there and rent the house for ourselves
we’d decided three of us would go to the solicitor Cotogno me and China and since we had to deal with a solicitor we thought we ought to be well dressed Cotogno even put on one of his father’s ties for the occasion that was a hideous sight to behold with a huge knot against a white shirt that hadn’t been ironed what’s more he’d given his unruly beard a trim and pulled back his long hair that was always sticking out untidily and put on lacquer to keep it flat only he’d put on too much and his hair w
as so flattened that his great big flapping ears stuck out though he hadn’t removed the earring that was his pride and joy and to complete the picture and give himself a serious air he’d put on a pair of glasses with tortoise-shell frames that made him see all fuzzy when we saw him we didn’t recognize him and all we did was laugh the whole time we had to wait in Spinone the solicitor’s waiting room
when it’s our turn Cotogno jumps to his feet and says peremptorily let me do the talking he goes into the office with the two of us behind him and Spinone the solicitor was sunk back in his brown leather armchair behind a huge desk all fancy and polished without a speck of dust he started when he saw Cotogno directly in front of him he just glanced quickly at us two and went back to staring at Cotogno visibly disturbed by the sight of him but given that we were clients he forced a smile and a question about how he could help us and Cotogno got right to the point at once listen my cousin here and his fiancee are getting married in a few weeks and they’re looking for a house you see and the solicitor nodded with a smile
by good luck we found out that you have a house vacant in such and such a street and we’d like to rent it blurted Cotogno smiling back at him but the solicitor at once became serious even irritated and he replied no look I’ve got no intention of letting that house as you’ve seen there’s no sign up I’m sorry good day to you and he gets up ah you don’t want to let it to us says Cotogno no replies Spinone getting impatient it’s not that I don’t want to let it to you it’s that that house isn’t to let as I’ve just told you Cotogno gets up too and says fine if that’s how it is we’ll see you again no look why do you have to see me again there’s no reason to see me again but Cotogno insists good day see you again soon and he makes for the door with us two in tow quite baffled
when we’re outside Cotogno explains his plan to us first of all to find out more through a comrade who works in the land-office and it turns out that Spinone is the owner of two other houses and five flats all vacant and then to ask a score of comrades to give us a hand naturally they’re more than willing and so a week later we reappear at the solicitor’s office of course without warning we leave the comrades down in the street and the same three of us go up this time Cotogno is dressed normally but he still makes quite a startling impression no sooner does the solicitor’s secretary set eyes on us than she stiffens and tells us at the door the solicitor’s out today but Cotogno brushes past her oblivious and heads straight for the door of the office
The Unseen Page 11