she wasn’t afraid of him so much as of his crowd of friends who were the sort to come down hard on people who didn’t pay they’d already threatened her and Nocciola had kept out of it he’d washed his hands of it and he’d no doubt let his friends go ahead we went into a bar she took off her anorak but she kept on the woollen cap it seemed stuck to her head to her hair do you remember what nice hair she had long and blond now it was falling over her shoulders in sticky dirty clumps her face was sweating and yellowish her eyes sunken and circled with shadows so deep that they looked like furrows she talked non-stop all the time running her nails up and down the sides of her velvet trousers
it was that time in the bar that Valeriana told Ortica about Cotogno’s death they’d arranged to meet in the flat where we’d had that famous meeting Cotogno had told Valeriana before going that he had an appointment with Scilla but Scilla didn’t go to the appointment the carabinieri went instead they came into the flat shooting obviously they wanted revenge for the carabiniere who’d recently been killed and it was just then that Scilla went out of circulation and there was a series of arrests all comrades who’d been connected with Scilla and finally Ortica too he’d never had anything to do with Scilla’s affairs but it was probably because Scilla hated him
we ate the rice salad that I’d scraped together and some tinned sardines Ortica told me that nobody had had any news of China for some time now she’d completely vanished into thin air the last time he’d seen her was at the centre when they were doing test runs on the radio I preferred not to talk about China we ate the pudding it was disgusting then Ortica grinned and from his jeans pockets he pulled out a pellet of dope he looked at it against the light saying can you imagine the lengths I had to go to to get it in here we sat down on the mattress and we made a joint the dope was really good and we both started laughing Ortica’s laughter got louder and louder he was laughing like a madman tears came into his eyes
tomorrow we’ve got the trial do you realize tomorrow they’ll take us over there and they’ll give us a nice trial I haven’t got the least idea do you have any idea what we’re going to say to them he stopped laughing though without altering his expression his face was set in a grimace I said whatever it is they’ll give us all a heavy sentence all the same whatever we go there and tell them or don’t tell them the candle flame from the stove was going down gradually the little gas cylinder for the stove got weaker until it went out completely now I could hardly see Ortica there in the darkness I spoke to him I ask myself sometimes now that it’s all over I ask myself what did it all mean this story of ours what was the meaning of all we did what did we achieve with everything we did he said I don’t believe it matters that it’s all over but I believe what matters is that we did what we did and that we think it was right to do it I believe this is the only thing that matters
Ortica passed me the joint for the last toke and I asked him about the radio station what had happened with the radio station Ortica started laughing again the radio was all ready we had all the equipment we had the frequency we even had the telephone we did all the voice tests with China’s voice one two three testing he laughed all we managed to say was one two three testing everything was there ready we only had to press a button and speak but we had nothing to say any more nobody went to the centre any more by this time there was a new disaster every day somebody being arrested somebody having a breakdown a disappearance a suicide everybody vanished there was nothing to say any more and so it all stayed there gathering dust the transmitter the console the stereo the amplifier the microphone and China’s voice
45
Won’t you answer the voice of the investigating judge addresses me through the microphone and I can hear it reverberate behind me I look up and I look at those faces watching me from behind their dark glasses up there I feel as if I’m slumped in my chair with the carabinieri standing behind me and that serried row of faces above me behind the bench staring at me with contempt and hostility everyone in the courtroom is staring at me the lawyers the journalists the scanty public made up of relatives the comrades in the cage the carabinieri dotted about everywhere they’re all staring at me they’re all waiting for me they’re waiting for me to speak I’m waiting too it feels as if I’ve always been waiting that time has stood still and now what do I do what do I say there I was standing still waiting for something I don’t know what
I nodded to say that I’d answer and immediately without so much as looking at me the investigating judge asks me if I pleaded guilty or innocent and then I had to start speaking since I’d indicated that I would I made a great effort my mouth so dry it was burning and without looking at anyone only fixing my eyes on the wooden bench right in front of me I said that before I answered we needed first to agree on the meaning of these words because it couldn’t be taken for granted that these words guilty or innocent had the same meaning for me as for them and so there was a need first to clarify to understand this was more or less what I was saying when I heard a shout from the public prosecutor who interrupted me saying I was obliged to answer the question and not to make pointless quibbles over words
my first reaction was to get up and to go back into the cage I didn’t do this because I felt nailed stuck to that chair now there was silence around me then I waited a moment then I went on saying well let’s put it like this you’re the ones who’re talking you’re accusing me you’re saying armed band that I’ve been that I’ve taken part in an armed band that I’m a subversive the investigating judge interrupts me no no he says that’s not it I’m not the one who’s saying this and with the flat of his hand he hits the pile of files he has in front of him I’m not the one who’s saying this these are the indictments and he hits the files again its from all these indictments that the penal code arrives at the crime of armed band it’s on the basis of these indictments that we must argue and that you must answer me because it’s on the basis of these indictments that we’re conducting this trial
just then I hear my lawyer speaking up behind me if the president of the court will permit I’d like but the investigating judge does not permit on the contrary he loses his temper and he shouts at the lawyer that for now he will permit nothing that the lawyer must wait the lawyer tries to insist once more saying I believe I have the right what right shouts the investigating judge I’m the one to say who has the right in here I’m the one in charge of this session from the cage come a few shouts and whistles the prosecutor gets on his feet and points towards the cage shouting but I can’t hear what he’s shouting because now everyone’s shouting the investigating judge is shouting louder than anyone into the microphone the carabinieri are shifting to and fro outside the cage the investigating judge is shouting louder than anyone that’s enough silence another word and I’ll clear the court
and again they’re all waiting for me to resume speaking the investigating judge has calmed down he waves a hand come on come on let’s get on with it then I say I was saying that I don’t understand what sense there is in my stating that I’m innocent or guilty because I don’t want to deny or rather disavow what I’ve done what I’ve been because if I thought that this society we’re living in has to be changed the presiding judge interrupts me but you must realize that we’re not here to put ideas on trial but actions actions regarded as crimes under the penal code but then I say why do you start by accusing me of being a terrorist these are ideas don’t you think these are ideas I said the investigating judge raises a finger
but they’re ideas that lead straight to bloodshed that have led to a lake of blood you forget or you deliberately put out of your mind all the dead there have been that have been the natural consequence of subversive ideas and behaviour then I say apart from the fact that in any case I don’t believe I’m being accused of any death of any act of bloodshed but the public prosecutor interrupts me with a shout of indignation this is an attitude of cynicism and contempt there’s a shout from the cage buffoon I recog
nize Ortica’s voice the investigating judge says he won’t put up with interruptions and with that kind of language and he orders Ortica’s expulsion from the courtroom there was bedlam everyone shouting inside the cage the lawyers protesting the prosecutor waving his arms about rumblings in the public gallery until the investigating judge was heard shouting recess and with this my questioning came to an end
everything we’ve heard so far is a senseless story but above all it is a criminal story with this the prosecutor began his summing up at the end of the trial from his bench on high standing upright wrapped in his black gown beneath the vast and horrible mosaic with the triumph of the blue forces of evil his mouth pressed to the black head of the microphone and his voice reverberating in the silence of the courtroom in that cage is locked the madness of these years the jurors all turned their heads towards the cage in unison we must dismiss every temptation for social political or cultural justification the direct or indirect responsibility for the criminal actions that have bloodied the country we must the jurors’ heads turned back again to face the prosecutor
seeking to engender chaos in the fundamental institutions of our democracy the family education work before you you have not revolutionaries but men and women transformed by hatred against society into savage wild beasts the jurors’ heads turn again towards the cage with no ideals but those of destruction and death behind these individuals there is no culture there is the pedagogy of violence mark my words the heads of the jurors turn again to face the prosecutor in unison sowing hatred in the immature and unprepared minds of the younger generation basely exploiting the freedom that our democracy offers indiscriminately to all to hatch their subversive schemes aiming to destroy the foundations of a peaceful and civilized way of life
but whoever sows the wind shall reap the whirlwind the prosecutor has raised his voice and appears to be eating the microphone he leans forward supported by the tips of his fingers on the edge of the bench there is no culture in this story there are no ideas in these ravings that have neither rhyme nor reason there is only the preaching of ignorance and violence of total refusal of pure negation the prophets of ill fortune who have schemed behind our backs with impunity for years who have put weapons in the hands of these wretched young people who have brought so much mourning to honest innocent hard-working families here they are before you the heads of the jurors turn in unison towards the cage for a moment then turn back to stare at the prosecutor who is now shouting with his arms up in the air
all of us who rise up in defence of democratic institutions and their laws must acknowledge the evidence of irresponsible laxity the stance of open complicity and consent the jurors crane forward because the prosecutor’s voice is reverberating so much that his speech is becoming incomprehensible unmistakable fellow-travelling yes today self-seeking intellectuals it must not be left unsaid that they presumed to make history no doubt no mercy these individuals will be condemned by history punished to the very roots the ignorant instrument of these perverse minds our warning to the healthy element of the youth of this country will end up in the dustbin of history for those who come after us to crush this monstrous dragon
46
I made the return trip to the special along with a guy who was later killed in prison and who earlier on had himself murdered someone else in prison and was going to one of the first units they were trying out then for murderers he was being sent there because he’d just killed somebody in a special as a settling of scores between mafiosi I don’t know what exactly it made me feel strange to think that he was a murderer he seemed quite a harmless young guy maybe even a bit of a softie he had a big colourful dragon tattooed on his chest we talked for the whole of my trip back to the special prison after the trial later things worked out badly the following year this young guy was murdered he had about thirty stab wounds
before we left we were in neighbouring cells he’d come there for a trial too and through the window he passed me some roast chicken that his sister had sent him I made the return trip in the usual armoured van and the weird thing is that I was happy to go back down there to the special and see all my comrades my friends I talked to this young guy in the armoured van and he was pretty desperate about ending up in this murder unit he said that life there was impossible there was nothing he was in total isolation he couldn’t write to his relatives it was even difficult to get in touch with his lawyer the prisoners never saw one another a state of utter and total isolation
through the port-hole of the van I can see the prison complex looming ahead of me then the image shrinks to detail the outer wall behind the mesh of the wire netting a high fence with barbed wire round the top the bullet-proof glass of the sentry posts rushes past us then the van stops in front of the first gate it feels like coming home I’m handed over to the guards and then begins the usual ritual of the search of my belongings of my rucksacks they x-ray me because now there was this new thing since the minister had sent an x-ray machine for they’d always had trouble whenever they wanted to do rectal searches there were always commotions and fuck-ups because people resisted which meant that there were always punch-ups and commotions and fuck-ups over this
so the minister made this technological leap he sent the specials these x-ray machines and after that they x-rayed you they put you behind a screen to see if you’ve stuck anything up your bum inside a container blades explosives and so on because for people in the specials opportunities for escape only occurred during trials because of the transfer and so there were people in the special who’d been there for years and who regarded this as a good chance to try and escape so if they had blades or explosives they could maybe exploit the opportunity to try and break out and so they took them with them on transfers
I recall that as I’m getting dressed again a sergeant made some remark about my trial that he’d been reading about it in the newspaper then he asked me if I knew that while I was away there’d been a murder among the non-politicals I said yes I know I read it in the paper and then he started giving me all the details about how this murder had happened because he’d been there right on the other side of the gate I cut him short okay okay I’m not interested because anyway what he wanted was to see my reactions or maybe not one of the ways things are distorted in prison is that you end up trying to give a meaning to everything trying to interpret everything everything must be a sign of something else you have to be able to read the logic of it while in fact if you think about it you realize that there are always loads of things that just happen like maybe that sergeant was just in a talkative mood
after that murder an order came from the ministry to separate the politicals from the non-politicals but the murder was just a pretext it was a plan already in the pipeline to make a clear separation between politicals and non-politicals in the meantime however after the revolt there’d been an easing off of relations between politicals and non-politicals there’d been a general changeover of non-politicals and there wasn’t one non-political brought in who sympathized with the politicals and who could therefore be a link between the two groups so that way there was a reduction in the contact there’d been between politicals and non-politicals before the revolt there’d been no resistance on their part and the non-politicals even put the word round that they were really pissed off with the politicals because with the troubles they’d caused they’d worsened conditions in the prison and they didn’t want any more trouble from us
and in fact the sergeant put me in the picture about what had happened you don’t have exercise together any more he told me the non-politicals are pissed off and so on the sergeant kept up his non-stop talking as he took me to my section all the way along the corridor and whenever we stop at locked gates and going up the stairs also telling me that a whole lot of new people had come in and now they’d rebuilt the second floor after a year of building works they’d rebuilt it all and so in the end everything had been re-ordered back to the way it was before the revolt
working prisoners on the ground floor non-politicals on the first floor and politicals on the second and that way they’d been able to fill it up with new people and when I got to the rebuilt second floor I saw how it had been transformed
the section had a completely new look the look of a bunker even more of a bunker than before there were a lot more guards in the corridors there were a lot of gates filters on the corridors not just the rotunda gates any more but other filter gates there were elevated closed-circuit cameras that filmed the corridor in sections the closed-circuit cameras switched on with their red lights the armoured doors are closed and through the spy-holes I see unfamiliar faces the sergeant tells me take my advice he tells me in a fatherly way listen to me take my advice it’s in your interest to have a cell on your own for with other guys in a dormitory cell you know that you’re in for trouble you’ve been here a while and you know that take my advice go on your own I said no I want to go back to the dormitory cell with my friends
the sergeant shakes his head it’s up to you though for tonight you’ll have to sleep here you’ll have to be on your own for now there’s no room in your dormitory cell but tomorrow there’s a guy leaving for a trial and when he leaves you can go into the dormitory cell and take back the place you had before you left going along the corridor I saw a lot of people I didn’t know but then I got to the cells with the old comrades I’d left behind so there was the usual ritual of kisses through the spy-hole with noses poking through the spy-holes and this sort of thing shouts greetings that were kept up when I went into my cell I stood for a bit shouting through the spy-hole then ending with see you tomorrow at exercise and then the comrades sent me things to eat too much food everybody sent something
The Unseen Page 23