by Julie Kagawa
“Your whole family?” I repeated in disbelief. Kenzie winced.
“Obnoxiously, yes. My disappearing act must’ve really shocked them. And now Dad won’t leave me alone. He thinks this will be a great way to ‘connect’ again.” She shook her head, her expression going dark. “I know what he’s trying to do, and it’s too late. He doesn’t get to be a dad after he’s forgotten I exist for so long.”
“That’s going to make things difficult,” I muttered. “Does your dad even know I’m coming?”
“Noooooo,” Kenzie said quickly. “He does not, and it’s probably better that way. I’d told him I wanted to go to New Orleans with a group of friends, but I think he may have suspected who my ‘friends’ were. Probably another reason he wants to come along—to make sure we don’t run off together and join a gang or something.” She shrugged. “Don’t worry. I’ll meet up with you when we get there. We just can’t let him see us.”
“And if we have to sneak out in the middle of the night to look for faeries in goblin markets?”
“Then we’ll have to do it quietly.”
I groaned, dragging both hands over my face. “Your dad is going to throw me in prison and lose the key.”
Kenzie’s arms slid around my neck as she leaned in, smiling up at me. “Well, if that happens, I’ll just bust you out with my mad ninja skills and we can vanish into the Nevernever.”
I was torn between telling her how unlikely that would be and kissing her, but at that moment the librarian strolled by with a cartful of books and we broke apart. “So, have you thought of what you’re going to say to your parents?” Kenzie asked, serious again. I shook my head.
“Not a clue. I’m still thinking about it.”
“Want me to come over after school to brainstorm?”
I would love nothing more than to have Kenzie in my room again, but... “I can’t tonight,” I told her. “I have kali.”
Kali was the Filipino martial art I’d been taking for over five years. It taught you how to defend yourself with swords, sticks and knives, as well as empty hands, which was the main reason I was drawn to it; I wanted to learn to use weapons when protecting myself from the fey. My Guro—my instructor—believed in the spirit world and hadn’t questioned my sanity when I’d told him invisible things were after me. He’d even helped us when we were looking for Todd, when I had nowhere else to go. The double, razor-edged swords he’d gifted me when I went to see him sat in an honorary spot in my room, and I knew Kenzie still wore his protection amulet beneath her shirt.
I hadn’t see Guro since I got back home, and I wanted to talk to him, to thank him for his help and to fill him in on everything that had happened. I owed him that.
I thought Kenzie might protest, insist that we come up with a plan together, but she only nodded. “Say hi to Guro for me” was all she said.
* * *
I was nervous when I walked onto the mats, wondering what Guro would say when he saw me. The room was full of people; the kempo and jujitsu classes that shared the dojo with us were just wrapping up, students in white gis and colored belts shuffling off the floor, laughing and talking with each other. Our class was smaller, just a handful of people in normal workout clothes, a rattan stick in each hand. They had already staked out the far corner of the mats, and I hurried over to join.
Guro spotted me the second I walked into the room. He looked the same as he always did, a small, sinewy man with close-cropped black hair and dark, piercing eyes. He didn’t say anything as I approached, just nodded for me to take my place in line. A few of the other students stared at me; either they’d heard the rumors or they’d seen my face on the news, as one of the teens involved in a suspected kidnapping. But Guro started the class as per normal, and soon I was too busy blocking bamboo sticks to the head and dodging rubber knives to think of anything else.
After class, however, he gestured for me to follow, and I trailed him down the hall into the office. Suddenly nervous and tongue-tied, I waited as he closed the door and motioned toward a couple chairs in the corner.
We both sat. I stared at my hands, feeling Guro’s eyes appraising me. He didn’t speak right away, and I wondered what he was thinking, what he thought of me now.
“How are your parents?” Guro asked at last.
“Fine,” I replied, knowing exactly what he meant. “A little freaked-out, but okay otherwise. They took it a lot better than I thought they would.”
“Good.” Guro nodded, still watching me intently. I waited, knowing this wasn’t over yet. Leaning forward, Guro folded his hands and fixed me with a piercing stare. “Now,” he continued, in a voice that made my heart start to pound, “you don’t have to tell me everything, Ethan, but tell me as much as you can. What happened after you and your friends left my home that morning? Did you find what you were looking for?”
I took a deep breath.
And ended up telling him everything.
I didn’t intend to, but as I spoke, words just kept pouring out, and at one point I was horrified to feel my eyes stinging. I told him about Meghan, the Nevernever and how I’d been taken by the fey when I was four. I told him about Kenzie, Todd, Annwyl and the Forgotten; who they were, what had happened to them. I confessed my hatred of the fey, my anger at Meghan for abandoning us, my mom’s worry and fear that I might vanish into the Nevernever, too. And I told him about Keirran, his relation to me and what I was planning to do that weekend.
When the words finally stopped, I felt exhausted, drained. But also strangely liberated, as if some huge weight had been taken from me. I’d never told anyone my whole story before, not even Kenzie. It was a relief to finally get it out. To tell someone who understood, who believed.
Through the whole thing, Guro hadn’t said much, just quiet encouragements for me to go on when I faltered. He still wore his same calm, serious expression, as if he hadn’t just spent an hour listening to a teenager ramble about invisible creatures that only he could see, that he’d been to a magical place called the Nevernever, that he was related to a faery queen.
“I know it sounds crazy,” I finished, now wondering what had possessed me to spill my guts. “I know I sound like a raving lunatic, but I swear everything I’ve told you is real. I wish there was a way I could make people see Them without gaining the Sight, but once They know you can see, They’ll just torment you forever. So, I guess it’s better that way.”
“I can see Them,” Guro said very softly.
I jerked up, staring at him, my jaw hanging a little slack. He gave me a tight smile. “Not like you,” he went on in a calm voice. “I’ve never seen Them clearly. It’s more a brief glimpse of something in the mirror, a reflection or a shadow on the ground that doesn’t match anything visible. But I know They’re there. My grandfather had this talent, also,” he continued as I still gaped at him. “But he was very in tune with the spirit world and things that no one else could see. Our family has always been sensitive to magic and the creatures no one else believes in. So I understand how difficult it is.”
I swallowed hard to clear my throat. “I wish everyone did.”
Guro didn’t say anything to that. “Have you told your parents?” he asked instead. “About what you plan to do this weekend?”
“No.” I shook my head. “I haven’t come up with a good enough excuse, and anything I say is going to freak them out, especially Mom. But I have to go.” I crossed my arms, frowning. “I just don’t know what I’m going to tell them.”
“Sometimes, the simplest answers are the hardest to see.”
I gave him a puzzled look, before I got it. “You want me to tell them the truth,” I said. Just the thought made my stomach tighten.
“That’s your call, Ethan.” Guro rose, and I stood, too, ready to follow him out. “But let me ask you this. Do you think this is the last time you’ll have to deal with Them?”
I slumped. “No,” I muttered. “I’ll never shake Them. They’ll never leave me alone. There will always be somethin
g I’m dragged into, especially now.”
Guro nodded slowly. “Be careful in New Orleans,” he said, opening the office door. “Do you still have the protection amulet I gave you?”
Technically, I’d given it to Kenzie, but... “Yes.”
“Keep it close,” Guro warned. “Other than your kali skills, that’s the best protection I can give you. If you or your friends need anything, magical or otherwise, please come to me. I cannot go with you into the hidden world, but I can make it so it is not quite so dangerous. Remember that, if you are ever in need of help.”
“I will, Guro. Thanks.”
He nodded solemnly, and I left the gym feeling a little lighter but still dreading what I had to do that night.
When I got home, things were normal. Annwyl was nowhere to be seen. Mom was putting the dinner plates in the dishwasher, and Dad was getting ready for work. I paused in the kitchen, watching Mom over the counter, and took a deep breath, preparing myself for the hardest conversation I would ever have.
CHAPTER SEVEN
THE TRUTH
“Absolutely not.”
We were all three in the kitchen, me sitting on one of the bar stools, my parents facing me across the counter. Both of them wore looks of horror, anger and disbelief.
“No,” Dad said, as if that was the end of it. “Not after the stunt you pulled last week. You think we’re going to let you go to New Orleans alone? No, Ethan. Out of the question.”
A stunt? I tried to hold on to my anger, remembering that Dad wasn’t sensitive to the faery world. He tended to truly forget about it, like most normal humans did. Unlike me and Mom, who knew it was out there but tried to avoid it. We didn’t talk about it.
Well, that ended today. “What do you think I was doing last week?” I asked, startling him and causing Mom to straighten in alarm. “I wasn’t in New York to sightsee. It wasn’t some stupid ploy to get attention. I got pulled into the Nevernever because of the fey, because it was either disappear into Faery or get torn to shreds in the real world.”
Mom flinched. Dad stared at me like I was crazy...until he remembered that faeries were real, and we’d dealt with them before.
“I went into the Nevernever,” I went on, determined not to stop. Finally, all this would come out; it was no use trying to ignore it. I refused to ignore it anymore. “And I met Meghan. She’s the Queen of the Iron Realm and lives in this huge palace with thousands of faeries. Everything she told us was true. And now They all know about me.” I wanted to mention Keirran, but I’d promised Meghan I wouldn’t, and besides, this conversation was awkward and stressful enough without bringing my nephew—their unknown grandchild—into this.
“Ethan,” Mom began, but I cut her off.
“No, Mom, I’m not going to pretend any longer.” I gave her a half angry, half apologetic look. “I’ve tried ignoring Them, avoiding Them, trying not to See Them, and it doesn’t work. I’m just as much involved in Their world as Meghan was, and no matter what I do, that won’t change or go away.” Mom bit her lip, looking like she might cry, and I softened my voice. “I’m not normal, and we both know that. We have to accept that, every once in a while, They’re going to come for me, and I’m going to have to disappear for a bit. This is one of those times.”
“Why?” she whispered, on the verge of tears now. Dad had gone quiet, recognizing, I think, the fact that this was out of his control, that this world was one he had no part in. “Why can’t They leave us alone? I’ve already lost Meghan...why do They have to take you, too?”
“They’re not taking me anywhere,” I assured her. “Never again. Mom, I promise, I’m coming home. I have no intention of staying in Faery.”
“You can’t promise me that,” she said angrily, pushing away from the counter. Her eyes snapped at me, furious and terrified. “You can’t control what They do, if They want you to stay...there. What am I supposed to do while you’re gone, Ethan? I waited for Meghan to come home for a year, only to lose her to Them for good! How long am I supposed to wait until I’m sure you’re not coming back?”
“I’m not Meghan!” I snapped. “I’m not part faery. I’m not going to fall in love with one of Them, fight Their wars and become Their king. I hate Them and I hate what They’ve done to us. After all this time, you should know that!” At a sharp look from Dad, I stopped, getting control of myself again. Even if I was discussing faeries and the Nevernever and things he didn’t understand, he still wouldn’t let me talk to Mom like that. I took a deep breath and continued in a calmer voice. “But I am a part of that world, especially now. Even if I stay on this side of the Veil, They won’t ever leave me alone.”
“There’s a difference between Seeing Them and rushing headlong into Their wars, Ethan. You were doing so well, keeping your head down, not getting involved.”
“Yeah, well, I can’t do that anymore.” I swallowed and hoped that the universe would forgive this one small lie. “Meghan needs my help. This is something I have to do.” Mom gave a choked sob and turned away, making my stomach contract, but I kept going. “I’m tired of being afraid, and I’m tired of pretending. I’m not running from Them anymore.”
“You’re going to get yourself killed,” Mom protested, a little desperately now. “Or taken away, just like Meghan. I won’t lose another child to Them. I will not watch Them drag you into that world. You can’t go, Ethan. I refuse to see that again.”
“I’m almost eighteen,” I said softly, watching as she stalked to the dishwasher and wrenched it open. “You can’t protect me forever.”
Mom didn’t answer, but Dad finally spoke up, his voice low and controlled. “And if we directly forbid you to go?” he asked. Not challenging or angry, just seeing where I stood. How serious I really was. I took a deep breath.
“Then I’ll go anyway and face whatever punishment you give me when I get back.”
“That’s what I thought,” Dad said. He checked his watch and frowned, then glanced at Mom, still standing over the dishwasher but not moving anything from it. “I’m calling in tonight,” he announced, backing away from the counter. “Let’s continue this talk in the living room, and Ethan can tell us exactly where in New Orleans he’s going and what he plans to do while he’s there.”
“Luke!” Mom whirled around, aghast. I blinked in shock, too. “You can’t be serious! He can’t go to New Orleans by himself! What if They find him?”
“He’s not going alone,” Dad said. “I’ll drive him up myself.”
“Uh.” I blinked. “What?”
He gave me a stern look. “You heard me. I realize this is something you have to do, but you’re certainly not going to New Orleans alone. At least I can be there if you run into trouble.”
“That’s not a solution, Luke,” Mom broke in. “So, instead of forbidding him to go, you’re going to drive him up and deliver him to Their doorstep? How is that better?”
“Melissa.” Dad faced Mom wearily. “The boy is going, whether we like it or not. He’s been fighting Them since he was a kid. I might not be able to see it, but I’m not blind.” He sighed, looking much older now, grizzled and tired. “We’ve always known it was only a matter of time before something like this happened, before They came for him. I’d rather have him know he can turn to us for help, instead of thinking we’re oblivious to what he’s getting into.”
“But...” Mom blinked back tears. “Meghan...”
“Is gone,” Dad said quietly. “And we have to accept that, just like we have to accept the fact that Ethan is involved in her world, too. Or we’re just going to be fighting this for the rest of our lives.”
Mom stood there, staring at both me and Dad, before she walked stiffly out of the kitchen without looking back. We heard her climb the steps to the upstairs bedroom, and then the door slammed with a crash that rattled the house.
I winced. Dad looked at me, haggard and grave. “When do you want to leave?” he asked in a resigned voice.
“Tomorrow,” I replied, hoping my
voice wouldn’t betray me, let him know what I was thinking. Because there was no way he could come with me. Dad was only trying to help, to keep me safe, but he couldn’t find out about Keirran or the very dangerous thing I was planning tomorrow night. “I thought we could get on the road after lunch, if that’s okay.”
“Is anyone meeting you there?”
Damn. “No,” I said, hating that I had to lie, again, but I wouldn’t rat Kenzie out and possibly get her in trouble. And I didn’t think even Dad would be okay with me meeting my girlfriend in New Orleans, unsupervised. “Just me.”
He nodded and glanced to the door of the upstairs bedroom as if steeling himself. I took that to mean the conversation was over and began to slip away to my room.
“Ethan.”
I paused in the hall, looking back, as Dad scrubbed a hand across his face. “You’ll be careful, right, son?” he asked, sounding uncertain now. “I know I don’t understand much about this...other world, but your mother has never been the same since Meg left. You have to promise you won’t go the same way. It would kill her.”
“I won’t,” I told him. “I swear.”
He went up the stairs, and I continued to my room, shutting the door behind me.
Well, that was about as awful as I’d thought it would be. Mental note, Ethan: let’s not do that again. Except, I could see more conversations like that in the future, explaining to my parents why I had to disappear this time, because Faery couldn’t seem to leave me alone.
Speaking of faeries, where was Annwyl? I’d left her sitting on my bed that morning, and she’d assured me she had no intention of leaving the room unless it was an emergency. The thought of a full-blooded Summer gentry wandering around my house made me a little nervous, but I trusted Annwyl enough to know that she wouldn’t cause trouble or glamour my parents. I hadn’t seen her in the rest of the house, and I was pretty sure she wasn’t upstairs in my parents’ room. So where was she?