by Wendy Vella
“I went to him, Millicent. I demanded an answer, as I knew you would not simply have walked away from Lord Ellsworth. Your love for him would never have allowed that, unless the situation was dire.”
How had her aunt known this, but Joseph had not?
“When I realized you had gone I set about telling everyone you were ill. There were of course rumors, but I never believed that you had run off with another man, and so I asked your father. He would not tell me at first, but eventually I wore him down and he confessed that it was he who forced you to flee. I never spoke to him again, even though I did not know all the details.”
“On, Aunt Beth, surely not.”
The small cluster of berries perched on the side of her aunt’s hat wobbled as she nodded.
“It is true we never really cared for each other, so I did not feel the loss. Indeed, I rarely saw him anyway, as he had tucked himself away at his estate in Devon.”
“I thought about you often, but I feared to make contact because I had no wish to bring trouble down upon you also.”
Her aunt’s face twisted into a fierce expression.
“I could not forgive him for taking you from me.”
“And now he is dead.”
“Yes, God rest his black soul. I looked for you constantly, Millicent. I never stopped.”
As the first tear fell down her aunt’s cheek, Milly gripped her hands hard.
“You should have come to me, Millicent. I-I would have helped.”
“I could not risk it.”
“What is the risk?”
“No, Aunt. It is done with now. It is best left in the past.”
“Very well.” Her aunt sniffed.
“He, my father, left me money, Aunt.”
The look on the elderly woman’s face was once of surprised pleasure.
“As he should. But let us talk of him no more, for now we will go home, and you can tell me of your life over the last four years.”
Milly could not tell her aunt everything; some of it would upset her too much.
“So much has happened, Aunt, I barely know where to start.”
“And yet you are back, and for now that is all that matters, my dear, sweet niece.”
And for now, Milly realized it was. Closing her eyes, she let her aunt hug her again.
She prayed the danger had passed, but with no idea who the threat had come from, she could not be completely sure. Dare she risk staying in London for long? Could she really stop looking over her shoulder?
“Come home with me now, Millicent, and we shall take each day as it comes. Small steps toward the future. Let us be a family.”
“Yes,” Milly said, and for the first time in a long while she thought that maybe, just maybe, there was a future for her now.
Restless after yet another disturbed night’s sleep, where once again Milly featured in his dreams, Joseph rose early and called for his horse. A hard ride would clear his head.
His only contact with her over the last month was when someone arrived on his doorstep wanting his signature. She had purchased a modest town house in London, which he had heard her aunt now shared with her, furnishings and clothes, and a carriage, but nothing out of the ordinary.
He had heard the house was purchased for her aunt, but Joseph had no idea what was the truth. He knew Lady Mowbray had been reliant on her late husband’s family for her security, so maybe this was why Milly had done what she had.
Had she decided to make London her home? He had no idea, especially considering the vehement denial she had issued when he had asked her just that.
The list of her expenditures was not extensive, and to be expected, however what had confused him was her purchase of a big, rambling house sixty miles from London. It was by no means a house nobility would purchase, or in an area frequented by any. It had intrigued him. So much so that he had nearly taken himself off to inspect it, but as he had no right to, he had refrained... for now.
The clop of Monty’s hoofs was his accompaniment as he rode through streets to reach the park. In London, there were few minutes in a day when he had time to himself; often, this was it. His brothers had arrived, and as they lived with him, there was no escaping them. Their voices carried, especially Charles’s, and more often than not they sought him out just to annoy him. None of this was usually an issue for Joseph, but it was this year.
It was her, of course. Millicent Lawrence. She’d stirred something to life inside him again, but this time it was different, she was different. It had started with anger and a childish need for revenge against the woman who had supposedly turned from him to another. Then there had been anger that she had not come to him, but now his feelings had changed, and he wanted to know more about her. Needed to know more about her.
As he had known it would, someone had found out she had returned. Rumors about her were wild around London. He ignored them, and the prying questions and glances that her return caused him. No one knew why she had left, and they would not get any answers from him.
Entering the park, he nudged his heels into Monty’s sides. The horse sprang forward into a smooth canter. There was a thunder of hooves from behind him, and he moved to one side, turning to see who approached, and saw the face of the woman who occupied far too many of his thoughts.
He took off in pursuit as she flew by. She turned to look at him briefly as he drew level. He read nothing in her blue gaze, and then she was urging her horse on.
If she wanted a race, she’d get one. Crouching low over Monty’s neck, Joseph let him have his head. They thundered over the ground, and he felt exhilarated to be out there with her, doing what he loved.
They reined the horses in as they reached the end of the stretch of grass, and let them have their heads to catch their breath.
“My lord.” She nodded, and he saw she looked calmer. The fear had gone, and the vulnerability.
She wore a deep rose riding habit, trimmed with black. On her head was a stylish black hat, and her gloves and boots matched. Her cheeks were pink, and her eyes alive, and he felt the pull of her beauty. Felt the lure that had once caught and held him.
“My lady.” Joseph returned the nod.
“I won.”
“I think not,” Joseph said, enjoying the picture she presented. Not quite the woman she had been, but so much more. For now he would play her game, and talk of nothing.
“Perhaps a draw then?”
“Very likely. How are you enjoying your return to London?”
“I am pleased to be reunited with my aunt, and there is much about London that I missed.”
A careful answer, Joseph thought.
“And have you been to Milton’s for butterscotch?”
The small smile on her lips told him the answer. Milly had loved the sweet treat. He had often bought them for her.
“A time or two, my lord.”
They rode in surprisingly companionable silence. Four weeks ago, they had parted with tense words, but not today.
“Can I ask you a question, Milly?”
She nodded.
“Why did you buy that house?”
“The house my aunt lived in belonged to her son, and was drafty and far too big for us both. He is a terrible nip farthing, and so I decided she would be better living with me, in a house of our own.”
“Yes, I understood that purchase, however not the other one.” He doubted she would answer him, but he had so many questions about this woman, he hoped for a resolution on at least one of them.
She pulled her mount to a halt and he drew alongside. Her eyes were forward as she spoke, suddenly serious.
“It’s for women with nowhere else to go. Widows, sisters, aunts, mothers. People who are displaced through circumstances beyond their control, and need help.”
He touched her cheek. Just a brush, but it was enough to make her shiver. She was as aware of him as he was of her.
“Like you were?”
She didn’t answer him, just nudged her horse i
nto a walk, away from him and his touch. He fell in beside her again.
“I’m sorry you felt you had nowhere to run to.”
“It is done.”
“Milly, I did not mean to upset you.”
Her shoulders rose and fell, and then she turned to him with a forced smile on her lips. He hated it, and remembered why. Four years ago he had seen it often. It had been the smile she used when surrounded by her peers.
“Will you enter society?”
She sighed. “My aunt asks me that daily. We have had so many callers it is ridiculous. I have no wish for them, and refuse to spend much time with them, but still they come. They ask if I am well now, and of course your name is bandied about so much I have come to hate it.”
“That’s harsh, considering there is little I can do about that.”
She laughed. More a snuffle actually, and there was nothing remotely feminine about it. It was not a trill or silly giggle, and he thought the sound wonderful.
“Forgive me, it is just that every woman is enamored by you, and most want to ensure I have no claim upon you, so they still have hope.”
“Surely not all of them are enamored with me?”
“Most.” She huffed out a breath. “It’s your position of course, and title.”
“Surely I am not intolerable to look at?”
She gave him a look, and he labeled it almost cheeky.
“Searching for compliments, my lord?”
“I am but a poor humble man,” Joseph drawled.
They rode for a while in silence, just enjoying the quiet solitude. It was Milly who broke it first.
“I have never thought how hard it is for you, with all these woman fawning and simpering after you, but I see now it must be.”
“Sometimes. Especially when they are not really interested in me, but only what I offer,” Joseph surprised himself by saying.
“I’m sorry.”
“It’s not your fault that I am an earl, and believe me, it is not all bad.”
She turned and smiled at him, this one real, and he found himself smiling back.
“’Tis funny that I am snatching a rare moment of peace here with you, the one man I should not find peace with.”
He wanted to reach out a hand and cup her neck, pull her forward and kiss those soft, rose-colored lips.
“I can be peaceful upon occasion. It is my siblings who turn me otherwise.”
“Ah yes, now that I can understand. Eleanor has visited me several times. She is most persistent.”
“She missed you.”
“And I missed her. Thank you for the race, Lord Ellsworth.”
“You are most welcome, Lady Millicent, anytime.”
He couldn’t detain her any longer, he had no reason to, so he had to watch her ride away. At least they had actually conversed, and neither of them had snarled at the other.
It was not until Joseph reached his house that he realized he was still smiling.
“I have no wish to enter society, Aunt. In fact, I am unsure I will even stay in London.”
Milly was seated in her favorite parlor, attempting to read a letter from Apple-blossom, who was now betrothed and extremely happy.
The room was a symphony of cream and rose, from the walls to the carpets. The furniture had been purchased for comfort and style, and in here she felt at peace. Well, at least she normally did. Right at that moment, her aunt was attempting once again to lure her out into society. So far, she had managed to stand firm, but Aunt Beth was a determined woman.
“I understand your reservations, Millicent, and yes, your need to leave London, should you wish it. But you have already received many morning calls, so you have suffered through the worst of it, surely.”
Milly could hardly believe the change in her life over the last few weeks. It was almost as if she was living a dream. She was warm, and well-fed, and did not have to sleep in damp, dusty rooms.
“Are you listening to me, dear?”
“Yes, Aunt, I am.”
To Milly’s eyes, her aunt seemed happier and healthier. Her cheeks were flushed with healthy color and she had put on weight. Leaving the control of her children had been the best thing for her. She no longer lived in that cold house and suffered through her son’s lectures on economy.
“I have no wish to go into society, Aunt, and am more than happy here with you.”
“But I do enter society, Millicent, as you very well know. And between us, my friends and I, we will be there to support you, as will Lady Thurston, and I suspect Lord Ellsworth. After all, it was he who brought you back to London, dear, and you have explained some of what transpired to him. So I’m sure he holds no grudge against you.”
She had not told her aunt everything, but a selection of truths. Enough to keep her happy.
“Perhaps you and Lord Ellsworth could—”
“No.” Milly nipped that thought off at the stem. “I will not marry.”
Her aunt’s lips thinned, but she said nothing more.
She’d seen Joseph yesterday, riding that black beast of his. He’d raced with her and Milly had been exhilarated. Oddly, she also felt at peace in his company. Perhaps because he had seen the Milly she had become, or perhaps with him she needn’t show any other side any longer.
“Lord Ellsworth has invited us to the opera tomorrow evening. I think you should start with that, and then we can discuss which other events you will attend.”
“I had forgotten your tenacity, Aunt.”
Her relative sat on the sofa opposite, comfortable and content. At least in this, Milly had been able to make small amends for hurting her. She would let no one hurt Aunt Beth again, and ensure her life was a long and happy one. Because if she had learned nothing else the last four years, it was to value those who loved her.
Chapter Seventeen
“Chin up, my darling, I am here with you.”
They were entering the theatre, and Milly’s stomach was fluttering as she took in the colorful guests in the foyer.
“I should not have let you persuade me.”
“But you love the opera, darling, and look beautiful. I must say, you have also perfected that bored expression on your face. Another thing that has changed over the last four years.”
“Pardon?” Milly dragged her eyes from a gaggle of women who were all chirping like a nest of chicks and trying not to look at her.
“You have changed a great deal, Millicent. Before, you could not hide your expressions. Now, I rarely see them.”
“Oh well... yes” was all Milly came up with by way of an answer. She had changed; who would not in her circumstances?
“Good evening, Lady Mowbray.”
A elegantly dressed couple had approached. Milly searched her memory for their names.
“You remember my niece, my lord. My dear, let me introduce you to Lord and Lady Pembroke.”
The man bowed deeply as the lady curtsied. Milly responded.
“Good evening,” she said, forcing a polite smile onto her lips.
“I am glad your health has improved, Lady Millicent. We are pleased to have you back among us.”
“Thank you, my lord.”
They chatted briefly about nothing, and it was all commonplace and polite, and then they left.
“There now, that was not so bad.”
“No, it was not.” Milly sighed. However, she hated the lies she must tell, and be forced to live. Another black mark on her father’s soul.
The real problem was that she just wasn’t sure she wanted to bother with this charade anymore. The need to see and be seen. The rules that governed her every move. The people who seemed polite to her face, but would not be so behind her back.
“Come, we shall go and find the Ellsworth box now.”
She placed her hand through her aunt’s arm and followed. It was as they approached the stairs that she felt someone looking at her. Searching, she found a man some distance away. Tall, with gray hair, his eyes were focused intently on her
. Dragging hers away, she continued on.
There was something unsettling about that look. Something dark and menacing. Shaking the thought aside, Milly realized that entering society once more was more unsettling than she had thought it would be, if a strange man’s eyes upset her.
“Ah, here we are. Good evening to you all.”
As her aunt greeted the inhabitants of Lord Ellsworth’s box, Milly stood to one side. She saw his brothers, Mr. Haddon and Mr. Charles Haddon. And Lord and Lady Thurston, and of course Joseph.
“Good evening, my lady.”
“My lord.” She dipped into a curtsy when Joseph greeted her.
“You look beautiful.”
His words had not been spoken loudly, and she doubted any but Milly heard them. Simple, often-spoken words, and yet when delivered by him, in that deep voice, they made her shiver.
“Thank you. You also.”
He wore a black jacket across his broad shoulders, and his waistcoat was black and silver. Every inch the earl, she thought.
“Do you know, I don’t think I’ve ever been called beautiful before.” He smiled at her.
“There is always a first time for most things, my lord,” Milly replied as she moved on to greet his family.
She had always liked his brothers. They laughed and joked, but the love the four siblings shared was never in doubt.
“How lovely it is to see you again,” Charles said.
“Yes, I remember now, you sat on my sofa just last week and drank tea, didn’t you, sir?”
“I did.” He gave her a wide smile. “And may I say, your cook’s cherry cake is unsurpassed.”
“I shall be sure to tell her.”
“You told Lord Coombs his cook’s cherry cake was the best last week,” his brother said.
“And they are off,” Eleanor said, coming forward. “They will now argue until the opera begins.”
“Good evening, my lady.”
“My name is Ellie, Millicent. Please use it.” She looked beautiful in a dress of deep gold.
“I shall try. But please, call me Milly. I find I am no longer a Millicent.”
Ellie patted her hand. “I like Milly. And now you must meet my husband. Louis, this is Lady Millicent.”