by Lea Doué
His face was blazing red, from his ears to his neck.
“You can ask me anything, you know.” What could he possibly want to ask that was making him this uncomfortable?
A sheepish grin appeared and disappeared. He blew out a breath and then spoke almost too low to hear. “I just wondered if maybe you’d hold my hand like you did yesterday.”
Her face warmed. She hadn’t meant to give him the wrong idea yesterday. Had she just been trying to make him feel better, or was it more? She bit her lip.
“I’ve been alone for so long. You can’t imagine how good it feels, how human, to know someone’s beside me.” His shoulders drooped. “I know there might be something between you and Theo—this doesn’t mean anything. I just…” He sighed and mumbled, “I sound pathetic. Never mind.”
She took his rough, warm hand in hers, and it fit just as nicely as it had yesterday, something she hadn’t wanted to admit.
“I wasn’t trying to guilt you into it,” he said.
“I’ve never done anything out of guilt.” She looked at him, hoping he could tell by her expression that she meant it.
His lips curved into a tentative smile, his grip tightened, and he turned his gaze straight ahead.
She smiled in response, even though he wasn’t looking, and tucked her hair behind her ears. She’d have to find some way to keep it out of her face.
He slowed and pointed to a streak of grey visible through the foliage. “There’s another. That makes ten so far.” They seemed to be evenly spaced. Had they spread out to compensate after the one at the falls was destroyed, or was there now a gap in the line? Theo and Holic could tell them later since they were covering that half.
She sighed. What was she going to do about those two? She’d have to talk to Theo, tell him to set his sights on someone else. Except, by his own admission, there was no one else. Never had been. Maybe with Eddy reinstated as heir, he’d feel less constrained to find the perfect wife, the perfect queen. She never would have been either of those.
Talking with Holic was useless.
At least she could talk to Eddy. Make sure he knew where things stood between her and Theo. “There’s nothing between us, you know.”
That might have been a bit blunt.
The happiness on his face melted. “Yeah. I know.”
Definitely too blunt. “I mean between me and Theo.”
“Oh.”
“He’s jealous right now. And more. He’s worked so hard to find you while also trying to fill your shoes. Now that you’re here, where does that leave him? You’re taking back the role he was never meant to have, and you fell in love with the girl he has his eyes on. I don’t even know if he really likes me or what he thinks I represent. He said I’d make a good queen, but he’s never said I’d make a good wife.”
She hadn’t meant to say all that.
“I like you. I… I love you. You know that, right?”
“I know what I see.”
His eyebrows drew down. “What do you mean?”
“I see how you treat me, how you seem to know what I need before I do. How you watch me. It’s like you’re listening to me even when I’m not speaking. But how do I know it’s real? How do I know it’s not the potion making you do or say these things, making you feel this way?”
He scratched his chin. Opened his mouth to speak. Closed it. “I’ve never been in love before. Never had time for it. I don’t know what it’s supposed to feel like. I do know how I felt before I took the blindfold off—like I felt four summers ago, but stronger—and I felt the same afterwards. Maybe the potion has worn off.” He paused. “Or maybe it doesn’t have any effect if you’re already in love with the person you look at.”
Could he be right? Did she dare hope his feelings were real? Perhaps she needed to stop second-guessing him. He seemed so sure.
The only thing she was sure of at the moment was how good his hand felt in hers. She held on tighter.
“So, why did you take off the blindfold?”
He nudged her around a puddle. “Because my feelings hadn’t changed. I liked what I saw.”
“But you hadn’t seen me since—”
“I saw you with my heart, Gwen. Don’t you think that’s the best way to see someone?”
“Well, yes.” She couldn’t think of any better. “But are you sure that’s not the potion talking?”
He let go of her hand and stopped walking. “Give me some credit. Yes, I was lonely—but I didn’t fall for you because you were the first female I’d encountered in years.”
Was he arguing with her? She’d assumed a love potion would turn someone into an overly agreeable puppy—much like Holic—but so far, his actions had been rational and definitely more thoughtful than Theo’s. She had no desire to argue, but maybe this was a good thing. A sign that he was in control of his actions, rather than being manipulated by sorcery. As much as she’d seen of sorcery—which was more than most people, and too much by far for her liking—she didn’t understand it. She’d had her sisters to help her through last time. Her throat tightened, and she blinked back tears.
“I wish I could make you understand.” Sadness filled his eyes. “The potion didn’t make any difference. It just opened my eyes to what my heart already knew.”
What his heart already knew.
What did her heart know?
She closed her eyes, wanting to understand. She didn’t know what love was supposed to feel like, either, not the romantic kind, other than what she’d first felt for him. But she knew he was telling the truth. She’d felt the sincerity in his actions, heard it in his words. She had no desire to get involved with an heir. That was the excuse she’d used with Theo, but what about now? Lily’s fiancé, Eben, was in the same situation, with even less to recommend himself other than his love for Lily. He hadn’t let that stop him.
She liked Eddy tremendously—more than she’d ever liked anyone before—but was it love? Men had professed love to her before, but they’d been in love with her station, her status as princess of Ituria, second in line to the throne. Being an heir himself, Eddy seemed to be less swayed by such things. He’d never told her she’d make a good queen like Theo had. He spoke about his feelings for her. And he showed her in so many little ways.
Her heart raced, and a smile lit her face. Maybe a happily-ever-after wasn’t out of the question for her. She opened her eyes. “I think I do understand.”
His eyes widened. “You do?”
“Yes. It’s my own heart I don’t yet understand.”
“So… you’re saying you need time?”
That was exactly what she was saying. “I don’t want to give you false hope, but time would be helpful. Speaking of which, we should keep going.”
He took her hand, and they continued. Morning passed, and noon. The dragon tally grew alarmingly high—there was no way they could safely lure them all to the falls. By early afternoon, they spied Theo and Holic through the trees and joined them.
Theo glanced at their linked hands, and his jaw tensed. As they compared notes, she tightened her grip and then let go, wanting to make a point but not cause too much unnecessary awkwardness. Maybe this would make it easier for her to talk to him later.
They headed back in the direction of the fortress. The sun shone somewhere beyond the green rooftop, and shadows mottled their hands and faces. She longed for open spaces and blue skies, somewhere to ride a horse at full gallop and not have to worry about roots and branches. She longed to wrap her arms around Buttercup’s warm, silky neck. She never traveled without him and rarely missed their daily ride through the meadows near the dragon soldiers’ training fields. She craved the wind on her cheeks, the sting of raindrops, and the bite of the sun. But more than her horse, she longed for her sisters. She ached to help Mara make chocolates, pick lavender with Neylan, and play with Ivy and her kittens. She’d do whatever it took to get back to them.
Before long, they emerged into a clearing, overgrown but definitely m
an-made at some point in its history. The trees leaned in over the small space protectively. At the center, five oblong mounds lined up side by side, each headed by a wooden board two feet high, grey and cracked with age.
Graves.
Chapter Seventeen
Gwen wrapped her arms around herself.
All three brothers turned pale, and Holic’s eyes shone with tears.
Wait. Including the queen, the royal traveling party would have had more than five people. Had some of them escaped?
Eddy frowned, confusion clouding his face. Maybe he’d noticed the same thing.
“Something’s not right,” she whispered.
He shook his head and studied his brothers before fixing his gaze back on the graves. “I buried the guards and maids behind the fort.”
She didn’t want to ask, but she had to. “And your mother?”
He didn’t answer.
Theo’s face reddened. “Answer her, Edric,” he said, his voice tight and gravelly with unshed tears. “These graves are far more than four years old. Where is our mother buried?”
“She’s not… he didn’t… .” He rubbed the back of his neck. “He said she was gone.”
Theo lunged towards him, fists clenched.
She took a step closer to Eddy and put her arm around his waist, hoping to make Theo pause. If he wanted to hit his brother, he’d hurt her, too.
Eddy pulled her close and angled them both so that he was nearer to Theo.
Holic grabbed Theo’s arm. “Let him talk.” He looked at Eddy evenly and spoke softly but firmly. “Talk, brother.”
He told them what he knew about the sorcerer’s destruction of everyone except himself and his mother. “He said he had plans for me, meaning Sissi, but I didn’t know it at the time. Said he would never do something so mundane as kill a queen. He knocked me out, and when I woke up, there was no sign of Mother anywhere.” Tears welled in his eyes and spilled over. “He told me she was gone.”
“So, there’s a chance she could still be alive out there somewhere?” Gwen said.
“I never thought—I don’t know how it would be possible.” He blinked rapidly. “The dragons had already crushed her foot, and Idris made whatever he’d done seem so final, so hopeless. I couldn’t do anything except stay trapped here and—and do nothing!”
Theo stalked off across the clearing, stopping at the far end.
She put her other arm around Eddy, and he leaned into her, crying quietly into her hair.
Holic joined them, his tears dripping onto her shoulder. “For what it’s worth, I know Mother would be proud of the choices you’ve made here. We all are. Right, Gwen?”
She nodded and sniffled. Her heart ached at the loneliness Eddy must have felt over the years. It also swelled with pride at his dedication to his family and his country, the sacrifices he’d made to stay here and keep them safe from the influence of Sissi and her mentor.
Eddy stepped back and dried his eyes, a determined look on his face. “If she’s still out there, we’ll find her.”
They had to get themselves out of this place first, and she had one more question. “If that’s not the guards and maids, then who is it?”
He stared at the mounds in the field before walking closer. “These must be Sissi’s knights,” he said in wonder. “She talks about them from time to time, how her knights came to save her but couldn’t pass the test. I thought she was making it up.”
“But who were they?” Gwen asked. There hadn’t been knights since before the time of the soldier-king. Sissi had no doubt created a fantasy to cope with their deaths.
“Foresters, most likely, lured in by Sissi the same way I was and tricked by the sorcerer. He said he had to test the potion before using it on a prince. I don’t suppose we’ll ever know their true identities.” He paused. “I wonder that he bothered to bury them.”
“Sorcerers are still human,” Holic said.
Perhaps. Tharius had shown himself capable of both compassion and remorse, but he was the only sorcerer she knew. Except for Ivy’s bodyguard, but he no longer practiced.
After a few moments, they all ended up watching Theo.
“Give him time,” Holic said with a glance at Gwen. “We’ve all been lonely and hurting in our own way.”
“Time,” Eddy mumbled. “Everyone needs time. Well, we’ve got plenty of that around here.”
“Speaking of which,” she said, “we need to get back to the girls.” She took Eddy’s hand again and led the way. “We have a ball to attend.” If she could dance after walking all day—although it couldn’t be any more tiring than dancing at Tharius’s midnight balls night after night.
After a few moments, Theo passed them and set a fast pace, eventually leaving them all behind. By the time they reached the fortress, he’d already gone in. Hazel and Bay had a picnic spread out in the courtyard, and Gwen flopped down with the remaining brothers to explain everything they’d found. The girls were as horrified as she’d been, both at the number of dragons and at their discovery in the clearing.
They headed indoors as the evening purpled the sky.
*
Since Sissi had insisted on a proper ball, they decided to dress themselves with clothes from the wardrobes, although no one knew what her idea of proper was. Gwen and the girls gathered in one of the bedrooms, and Bay pulled out the first gown.
“I thought soft colors would be appropriate,” Hazel said.
Soft sounded perfect. Nothing dark or daring. They’d had their fill of those during their first run in with Tharius. Besides that, no one wanted to outshine Sissi and risk upsetting her.
Gwen stepped into a dove grey gown with creamy pearl buttons down the back. Hazel sat on the edge of the bed and buttoned her in while she tried to do something with Bay’s bushy hair, which was now longer than Hazel’s. She braided the sides up and over across her hairline to keep it out of her face and tucked in a dozen diamond-tipped hairpins.
“Very nice,” Gwen said.
With no mirrors handy, Bay patted the braids gently, her fingers exploring the gems. “Someday, I’d like to wear a real ballgown. Not some sorcery-made thing.”
“You’ve already worn more ballgowns, real or otherwise, than most maids.”
Bay slipped on her dress, a pale pink silk with layers and layers of skirts.
Gwen laced up the back and tied a neat bow. “You clean up well.”
Her ears darkened, and she shuffled her feet. “I don’t know how I’ll dance in this thing, especially since I don’t know how to dance.”
“Don’t worry about that. The boys will take good care of you.”
With a skeptical look on her face, she took a seat on the bed, mumbling about sore ankles and heavy skirts.
The morning trim seemed to agree with Hazel’s hair, which fell in soft waves around her face. She’d picked out a pale blue gown with silver flowers embroidered on the bodice, and she looked as lovely as ever.
Gwen wished she could see her own hair, but she had no desire to return to Sissi’s room to do so. Hazel suggested combs, so she rummaged around in the dressing table drawer and found a handful. She passed over the gold butterflies—too moth-like—in favor of a simple pair in silver and pearl and pinned back the sides of her hair. That would have to do. If this whole experience didn’t cure her of her vanity, she didn’t know what would.
Eddy and Holic waited outside the door, dressed in dark trousers, silk shirts, and embroidered tunics. Holic’s eyes lit up when he saw Gwen.
Before he could offer her his arm, she nudged Hazel forward and choked out the formality, “Prince Holic, would you be so kind as to escort my sister to the ball?”
“Of course,” he replied amiably. “Anything you ask.” The potion hadn’t seemed to alter his nature, just his allegiance.
Hazel threw her a hurt look but accepted his arm. “Come along, Bay.”
Holic offered the maid his other arm.
“Where’s Prince Theodric?” Bay asked.
“We agreed he’d be the best escort for the birthday girl,” Holic answered.
Gwen pressed her lips together to keep from curling them in disgust. Sissi didn’t deserve such a courtesy, but it was kind of the brothers to offer. And smart.
Holic led the girls down the hall.
Eddy stared at her open-mouthed. Had he been standing like that the whole time?
She tried to brush her hair behind her ears, but her fingers bumped into the combs. “Why the shocked look? I don’t intend to wear men’s shirts and tattered leggings forever.”
His mouth snapped shut and he grinned. “No complaints here. May I escort you to the ball?”
“I thought you’d never ask.”
The stone walls of the hallway opened into the ballroom, an underwhelming space for someone who’d grown up dancing in the palace at Eltekon, but impressive for a fortress. Like something out of the days of the soldier-king. A dining table rested at the far end in front of a fireplace, which provided light along with dozens of sturdy candelabras hanging from the ceiling. Holic stood with the girls beside one of the tapestries lining the walls.
They didn’t have to wait long for Sissi’s grand entrance.
She stepped onto the polished wood floor in a cloud of feathered skirts below a black velvet bodice. Countless birds had been plucked to decorate her gown. Black-speckled pheasants, snow-white geese, grey doves, jeweled peacocks, and more. It was wild and beautiful, something the twins would appreciate and maybe even wear.
Beautiful was not the word for the rest of her… wardrobe. A wreath of firethorn branches twined around her neck, the berries that clung to it as deeply red as the strand of rubies woven among them. Thorns pricked her delicate skin, creating tiny dots and smudges of crimson. She seemed oblivious to any pain it might be causing.
Theo walked beside her, mouth grim, posture rigid. Her hand rested lightly on his arm, the four rubies on her ring winking at their cousins around her neck.
Wait. There were supposed to be five rubies. Had she lost one?
Bay gasped and then swallowed it with a gulp.
Gwen shifted her gaze to what had caught Bay’s attention: Sissi’s hair, pinned up in large, stunning curls—both black and gold. She’d added Hazel’s hair to her own. Like the time the twins had twisted their hair together into one long braid. Azure had thrown a frog at them, and they’d nearly pulled their hair out at the roots trying to get it off.