And Ranger was not afraid.
“What about a married couple? Two incomes. Stable home life.”
The sheriff glanced at Amy then back to Ranger. Ranger didn’t move.
“Well now, that definitely tips the scales in your favor. And with a little support from the local law-enforcement, I can almost guarantee that would work.”
Amy froze, but she had a death grip on his hand. His revelation about his feelings for her had driven him forward without thought. After all these months of chasing her, coaxing her just to talk to him, and he drops the M word like an RPG. The surety of his decision started wavering. Maybe she didn’t want to marry him. She’d been married to his best friend.
How could he let his sick and twisted mind jump the Grand Canyon and think she’d be happy he wanted to marry her?
He’d never been scared a day in his life, but right now he couldn’t make himself turn to Amy and watch the horror spreading across her features.
And the sheriff, damn him, stood, his chair scraping loud across the floor. “Let’s not be hasty. We haven’t found Pedro yet. I’ll keep you posted.”
*
Amy sat there, stunned and shaken, her hand cold and sweaty in Rangers warm grip. Marriage? Marriage to her?
Her ears started ringing. Had Ranger really said that?
He was willing to sacrifice his freedom as a single man for her and an undocumented little boy he’d met only a few times? And what about Chloe?
A single sexy man like Ranger James taking on a widow with baggage and a baby and possibly a foster son?
The idea was crazy. Just plain crazy.
It had to be a hazard of his occupation, always saving people. She swallowed, barely able to make her throat work. Was that what she was to him, a damsel in distress? Someone to stroke his alpha male ego? Or did he really think about her that way? Ranger held her hand, but didn’t look at her. He stared straight ahead, a statue of regret.
The sheriff was gone. They were alone in the room together, Ranger’s words hanging over their heads like a herd of elephants in the Sahara.
Amy knew she should say something, but for some reason she couldn’t coordinate her lips and tongue.
Who was this man that was willing to give up everything for her?
Chloe cried out from the nursery, signaling she’d woken from her nap and Amy had never been so relieved to hear her cry. She dropped Ranger’s hand without a word and ran from the room, escaping his presence and his words and the thoughts and the hope they brought up inside her. She passed Arturo, coming out of the guest bedroom. “Supper’s almost ready. Mr. Ranger is in the kitchen, why don’t you hang out with him while I change Chloe? Then we can eat.”
“Miss Amy? Did the sheriff man, did he find my papa?” His little voice wobbled, his chin trembled. Then he sucked in a breath and straightened his spine.
She wanted to drop to her knees and take him into her arms. Tell him everything would be okay. But she didn’t know that. She didn’t know if anything would be okay. But she knew she was on the verge of hysterics. So she sucked in her own trembling lip and offered him a smile, “Not yet little man, but he’s still looking and so are a whole bunch of other people. He’s gonna let me know as soon as he knows anything.”
Arturo nodded, he didn’t move. He needed more than words from her and she fought hard to push past her own problems and act like a grown up. She knelt down and brushed a stray lock of dark silky hair behind his little ear, marveling at how a boy so small could take on so much.
Over the past couple of days, he’d held it together so well. Helping around the house, playing with Chloe and not breaking into hysterics the whole time. But she could see the strain now, a strain no child should ever have to face. “I want you to know something. No matter what happens, I will be here for you. Do you understand?”
He nodded again and said, “Why did those men want to take all those kids?”
Such a big question and one he had the right to know the answer to. But how was she supposed to tell a five-year-old about child slavery?
“There are bad people in this world, Arturo. Bad people who hurt others, even if they don’t deserve it. The Lobellos were bad people. We might not ever understand why they do those things, but all that matters is that you’re safe now. Those kids are safe now, too. And you know why? It’s because there are a lot more good people than bad out there.”
“Good people, you mean like Senor Ranger?”
Amy jerked at his name. Ranger was a good man. “Yes, baby. Like Ranger. He’s one of those special people who saves others, even if it’s dangerous.”
“I’m glad Mr. Ranger is your friend.”
Her friend, her lover, her would-be-hero-in-waiting.
32
Chapter 32
The next couple of days passed in a blur. Ranger stayed busy finishing up from the raid and filling out paperwork. He’d spent the majority of his days away, but each night he’d been drawn to Amy’s. Each night, he slept on the couch, careful to give her space, but not too much. He couldn’t take the chance that she’d run again.
Bo still hadn’t located Pedro. The ATF, FBI and his own team had been unable to locate him either. None of the Lobellos knew what happened to him. The more time went by, the worse it boded for Pedro. And the more he and Amy fell into a routine of talking but not talking, and touching but not feeling.
Ranger wanted to get back out in the field and assist in the search, but his damn leg was healing slower than Christmas. At headquarters, every one avoided him and those few that didn’t got a terse response. The wear of being a burden was grinding his nerves to dust. He’d never been an indoors kind of guy. And now he was stuck sitting at a desk during the day while his team was out searching.
By the time he left work, his tension was about as tight as a tourniquet. But each night, when he pulled into Amy’s driveway, the tightness in his chest eased a little. But tonight, the tension hadn’t eased. It had pulled even tighter. And he was on the verge of snapping. He had to do something to break this system of avoidance before they both detonated.
After supper, Ranger helped Amy put the kids to bed. A wholly domesticated process that he’d never imagined himself doing. Not until Amy.
If it hadn’t been for the kids, supper would have been a ghost town. Ranger had caught her staring at him repeatedly, but hadn’t been able to coax more than a sentence or two from her lips. Not that he expected her to gush or anything, but her silence killed him.
His half-assed proposal sat large in both their minds. But he hadn’t regretted it. Not one bit. The more he thought about making a family with Amy, the more he became convinced they were meant to be. Not that he waxed poetic or what the hell ever that meant, but how could he not feel like fate played a role?
His childhood had been full of darkness and abuse. His father murdered his mother and then tried to kill him and Hunter. If it hadn’t been for luck they wouldn’t be alive today. After roaming the roads, scavenging for food and whatever they could get their grubby hands on, the boys had stumbled on Hank James’ Broken River Ranch. Hank had given up his bachelor lifestyle and became an immediate father to two rough boys off the street. He’d taught them respect. He’d taught them loyalty. He’d taught them sacrifice. But more importantly, he’d taught them the importance of family.
And now Ranger had a chance at a real family of his own. He could take Arturo under his wing, and help him grow into a good man. Just like Hank.
“Would you mind tucking Arturo in while I rock Chloe to sleep?” Amy said, juggling a fussy Chloe on her hip. Arturo had already gone to the bedroom to change into his pajamas.
At least she hadn’t asked him to leave, something he’d been half expecting and half dreading. “Sure thing.”
She grabbed his hand and the gesture sent a flare of hope to his heart. “Thank you.”
Ranger had to clear his throat to get it to work again. The woman was driving him nuts. He wanted to drag her to b
ed and make love until they were both too exhausted to sleep, but he knew she needed time. Needed to process. “Anytime, honey. Go on now, I’ve got this.”
Amy took Chloe to the nursery and Ranger went to tuck Arturo in. The quilt on the full-size bed swallowed the boy. Ranger felt clumsy and unsure of himself, but he lowered down to sit on the edge of the bed and propped his crutches on the night stand. He didn’t know what to say or do, so he sat there, silent. It was Arturo that led the way.
Ranger watched in the lamp glow as Arturo grabbed his hand. Ranger marveled at how tiny his fingers appeared wrapped through his own. Interwoven. ”Will you stay here until I fall asleep?”
At that moment, any doubt that Ranger would be this boy’s father was completely erased from his mind. “For sure, little man. I’m not going anywhere.”
He nodded, held onto his hand and closed his eyes. Anger at the Lobellos for hurting the boy filled him. Arturo was too young to have suffered such a loss. To have been kidnapped and scared out of his mind and his father possibly murdered. But he was resilient and he had a shot at a bright future.
A bright future with Ranger and Amy as his parents. As long as Amy would accept him into her family.
At that moment Amy peeked her head around the door and Ranger lifted a hand to his lips for her to be quiet. Arturo’s breathing had fallen deep and even, his fingers slack. Ranger picked his crutches up and left the room, letting Amy softly shut the door behind him.
They went into the living room, and he sat on the couch, patting the cushion beside him. Amy hesitated a second, and then sat. The few inches between them like miles. Unable to stand the distance any longer, Ranger wrapped his arm around her shoulders and pulled her close. Amy tucked her head against his chest, fitting him perfectly. But more importantly, she didn’t fight him or push away. And damn it felt good. Really good. Her head lying against his chest, the smell of her shampoo filling his senses. Her breasts pressed against his side. Blood filled his cock, giving him an instant hard on. Whenever the woman was around he responded like a teenager. No longer a full-grown man in control of his own body.
Distraction. He promised himself that he would take it slow. “How about a movie?”
She wrinkled her nose, and that smattering of freckles was so cute. “A movie?”
“Yeah, like a normal couple that’s dating would do.” Because Lord knows they hadn’t had anything close to normal. From the intruder, to the Lobellos, to finding out about Shane’s infidelity. Normal would be heaven.
“That sounds nice.”
“And because I’m such a gentleman, I’ll let you pick it out. As long as it’s not The Notebook or something like that.”
“Darn, that’s my favorite movie,” Amy said.
He cringed, wondering if he could make it through the sob fest without gagging. But if it would make her happy, he’d do it.
Her soft laughter interrupted his thoughts. “You should see the look on your face right now.”
“You’re laughing at me and I was seriously contemplating sitting through that?” Ranger was outraged. Damn female was driving him crazy.
“No, I’m laughing because I’m happy.” She placed her palm against his cheek and rose up, searing his lips with a scorching kiss. When they broke apart they were both breathing hard.
Distraction. He needed a distraction before he lost his resolve and laid her down on the couch right now. “So what movie do you feel like?”
She sighed and he could tell she was thinking the same thing. Forget the movie let’s go to bed. But he pulled on every ounce of willpower he possessed and resisted the urge. She needed time. And he would give it to her, whether she wanted it or not.
“How about Super Troopers?”
“Are you serious?” He couldn’t believe what she just said. One of his all-time favorite comedies. “I thought you females hated that kind of stuff.”
“Listen, if we’re going to get serious about this relationship, you’ve got to cut the sexist crap out. Just because I’m a woman doesn’t mean I can’t like movies like that.” Amy sent him a narrowed glance.
His heart slammed in his chest. She wanted to give it a try? “A serious relationship?”
“You’re the one who brought it up.”
And you ran from me scared out of your mind. “Of course.”
“So no more sexist stuff?” The small smile teasing her lips begged to be kissed.
“Not sexist, babe. You just rose another notch in my estimation. The guys won’t believe me when I tell them.” Ranger could see the look on their faces, especially after hearing them whine about dates and having to put up with chick-flicks to get laid.
“Good.” Her grin was huge and full of laughter and he tensed, knowing he wouldn’t like what was coming next. He’d learned to read her expressions and her smiles. And she was definitely giving her mischievous smile right now. “Because we’re going to watch Titanic after this.”
He groaned and fell back on the couch. He didn’t know which one was worse. But then again, Titanic was three hours long. That meant three more hours he could hold her. And just because he was going to be hands off with the sex didn’t mean they couldn’t do some heavy petting on the couch. “Deal.”
*
Amy woke the next morning, stretched out on the couch, with Ranger’s arms wrapped around her. Sunlight streamed in through the semitransparent curtains in the living room. Titanic played on the TV, they’d fallen asleep in the middle of the movie. The second time around.
Heat filled her cheeks when she thought about everything they’d done on the couch last night. They’d acted like lovesick teenagers. Going all the way to third-base but too scared to hit a home run. But Lord how she wanted to. Her nipples grew heavy and tight thinking about his callous roughened hands on her skin. If it hadn’t been for Ranger’s restraint, they most definitely would’ve gone all the way. It certainly wasn’t for her lack of trying. But he refused, stopping her every time her hand traveled too far south.
In all honesty, Ranger’s insistence on holding back was working. Each day he remained sweet and sincere, he dug deeper, planting roots in her heart. Her thoughts about him mentioning marriage just to rescue a modern day damsel in distress had completely gone away. A man with a false sense of justice wouldn’t sacrifice his whole life for a women he didn’t love and respect.
Amy studied him, so content, so peaceful in his slumber. He was so handsome it hurt. And hearing him talking to Arturo last night had obliterated her defenses. She knew she was a lucky woman to have a man like him.
But was she ready to take that lifelong leap of marriage? Not only marriage, but marriage to a Special Operations soldier who put his life on the line constantly. Ready to go through that insane worry every time he walked out the door. Was she really ready to deal with reality if he didn’t make it back?
Amy got up and went to the kitchen and put on a pot of coffee. Ranger’s profession was the same as Shane’s. What if he didn’t come back on his own two feet, but laid out in a coffin?
A thought almost as bad flittered through her mind - what if he cheated too? She’d trusted Shane and look what he’d done. He betrayed not only his wife, but his best friend and he’d taken advantage of a girl barely out of her teens. Amy poured a cup of coffee and took a cautious sip, daring the tongue burning to try and get rid of the bitter taste Shane’s betrayal left in her mouth.
How could he have done that? How could he be so…callous. So unforgiving? How could he make her feel so damn guilty when he’d been the one to screw up in the first place? Had he sensed her hidden feelings for Ranger? She’d ignored them after her and Ranger’s break up all those years ago. She’d forced those thoughts for him down as far as they would go and remained true to Shane.
Maybe that had been his plan all along, to pick a fight and ignore her until she had no hope but divorce. Only instead of divorce he’d gotten death.
The early days of their marriage had been filled with lots of laugh
ter and fun. Then he started leaving, more and more. And when he was home, he’d started drinking, more and more.
And apparently he started screwing another woman.
“Damn you, Shane Carter. Damn you for doing this to me.” Tears welled and spilled over. His death was a heavy enough burden, but his betrayal made her feel emotion so ugly it didn’t even have a name. She wiped her tears with a trembling hand. He didn’t deserve her tears. He didn’t deserve her thoughts. So why couldn’t she stop crying?
“Amy?”
She spun around to see Ranger standing with his crutches, shirt just as wrinkled as his hair.
“What’s wrong, baby?”
She couldn’t speak, couldn’t tell him the truth. He didn’t want to hear that she was thinking about another man, even if it was her ex-husband. No man was that big of a saint. She steeled her nerve and forced a smile, even though it felt dead on her face. “Nothing.”
Ranger hobbled over to her until she was trapped between his crutches and the counter, with no way to escape. “I know when you’re lying. Tell me the truth.” His voice was gentle and that only pulled more tears free. He should be stony, suspicious. Not caring.
She held firm and squashed her thoughts back into the coffin they belonged in. “I swear, I’m being silly.”
He cupped her cheek and held her hostage with the most startling blue eyes. “When are you going to learn I know you. I know your really happy smiles, because they reach all the way to your eyes. And I know your sad smiles, because your lips barely pull up. And I know your fake smiles – like the one you’re giving me right now. Because your whole face freezes. There’s no emotion.”
His words stabbed sharp in her chest, causing her to react like a wounded animal, striking to avoid more pain. “Dammit Ranger, why can’t you just leave it alone? You don’t want to know what I’m thinking about right now.” She slapped his hand away.
He didn’t move an inch. Amy wanted so bad to run away, but she was afraid she might kick one of his crutches and hurt his leg. He had her trapped. And that only made it worse.
Resurrection River: Men of Mercy, Book 2 Page 19