Her bottom lip trembled. “Andy and I were on a temporary break.”
He couldn’t make sense of the words she spoke. Her answer shook him to the core. “What did you say?”
“We were on a break. Thank you for the fun times and the great sex, but I’m going back to a man who wouldn’t cheat on me. Who has patiently waited for me to get my shit together. I’m going back to the man who has the same dreams and aspirations as I do and wants the same life as I do. I’m going back to Andy.”
“No, you’re not.”
“Yes, I am.”
“Then what have we been doing for the past ten days?” he yelled.
“Filling time.”
He thought back to the first night he saw her at the ice cream parlor. She’d said they had an argument, and he’d been gleeful that they had problems and wanted to make the forlorn look in her eyes disappear. “What?” he whispered.
“You heard me.”
Reese charged over to where she stood and grabbed her shoulders. Her eyes widened, but she stared defiantly back at him. “Don’t do this, Nina. Don’t make me beg.”
“I don’t want you to beg. I want you to let go.”
He rested his forehead against hers. “I can’t. I can’t, I can’t.” He squeezed harder than he should, but he literally couldn’t let go.
“Let me go, Reese. If you don’t leave now, I’m going to call security.”
“I wouldn’t do this. You know me,” he whispered shakily.
“No, I don’t,” she replied. Sorrow thickened her voice. “I saw what I wanted to see.”
Reese’s hands and shoulders dropped in defeat. He couldn’t do this anymore. He kept chasing Nina, but she’d shown him in so many ways that his feelings weren’t reciprocated. The other night he told her that he loved her, and she hadn’t said a word, and yet he believed—held out hope—that what he saw in her eyes was love, too. When in reality, she didn’t want him. In reality, she and Andy were going to be together, and he was just a filler. He was her placeholder, the way other women were his placeholder for her.
“You got me,” he whispered. Pain, loss, and regret—his constant companions—had once again reared their ugly heads and ensnared him. “You got me good. I guess we both see what we want to see because I’m the idiot trying to make you into the woman I want you to be, because I love you so much. But you keep showing me that I don’t mean shit to you.”
He laughed shortly, with biting bitterness that did little to convey the true depth of his despair. “I was almost a father, and you kept that from me. After three years, you show up with Andy and then put his ring on your finger, when you know I want to be with you, and you kiss me the same way I kiss you—like you’ll never get enough. The past ten days, you led me to believe that you and I were starting over, and you really wanted to be with me, but it was all a lie. Those photos gave you the excuse you needed to walk away.” He swallowed hard. “I don’t know you either, Nina. But what I do know is that I’m done. I’m not begging you. I’m not chasing you anymore. I guess whatever Andy offers—whatever dreams you share—are enough. You want to be with him, go for it. You and I never have to speak again.”
Reese turned on his heels and left the apartment. He wasn’t just leaving Nina behind. He was also leaving his heart—stomped to pieces—behind, too.
Chapter 28
“No. I don’t like it.”
Nina wearily dropped her arms to her sides when Gloria voiced her displeasure yet again.
She officially hated wedding dress shopping. She’d spent the past couple of days trying on dress after dress, and her mother’s constant negativity was stressing her out. She couldn’t wait for this process to be over.
This one happened to be her favorite because it fit her style and personality. The lace caftan dress was made of a comfortable and light flowy fabric. She liked the design and fit so much, she didn’t see a need to alter a single part of the garment.
She turned to Lindsay, pleading for help with her eyes. Her sister sat on the rose-gold sofa accented with mahogany wood. It matched the rest of the private dressing room, decorated in traditional furnishings and textured wallpaper in cream and rose-gold. Gloria sat perched on a burgundy armchair far away from her oldest daughter.
Their coolness toward each other was the other part of the process that drained Nina. There were better ways to spend the day than with her mother and her sister, both of whom could not get along. She couldn’t really blame Lindsay because their mother treated Lindsay differently than she did Nina. Nina’s father was Gloria’s second husband and had been a millionaire. Lindsay’s father had done a lot of terrible things and hurt people when he was alive.
“What do you think?” Nina asked her sister, fanning out the skirt with her hands. She really loved this dress.
“Cute, but not my personal taste. You know I like flashy, but you have to get what you want.” Lindsay’s very pointed words made their mother’s lips flatten with displeasure.
“It’s so plain,” Gloria said, wincing as if the unattractiveness of the dress pained her. She stepped onto the raised platform and met Nina’s eyes in the mirror. “Try something else. I want to see what a more traditional dress would look like on you.”
Knowing her mother, she wanted Nina to try another dress not only because she didn’t like the design of this one, but because she wanted a famous name on the label so she could brag to her friends. She’d urged Nina to commission a custom-made dress from Vera Wang or some other well-known designer, but taking one off the rack was Nina’s own small act of defiance.
“We have several I can pull for you,” said the saleswoman Elizabeth, who was also the assistant manager.
Nina had forgotten she was in the room. She stood quietly off to the side, hands clasped in front of her, a long dark braid hanging over one shoulder.
Nina’s jaw tightened. She could barely look at Elizabeth because of the freckles across her pale nose. The minute she stepped on the sales floor and saw the woman, her mind flooded with memories of kissing Reese’s freckled nose or the freckles on his shoulders.
The past couple of weeks, she couldn’t bear to hear his name. It hurt so much, and the pain settled deep, deep in her chest. Thoughts of him and Chelsea and their big fight tormented her.
I’m not chasing you anymore.
“Bring me what you have. Three options, please.” She studied her reflection and smoothed a hand over the fabric. What did it matter if she didn’t get to wear this dress? One more compromise wouldn’t hurt. The ceremony was only one day in the rest of her life.
The assistant manager left, and Nina disappeared into the fitting room to undress and wait. She hung up the dress and fondly swiped her hand down the front one more time.
The light on her phone flashed, which indicated she had missed a call. There was a text message from Andy.
Andy: Thinking about you. How is everything going?
Nina: I need a drink. Don’t be surprised if I order a stiff one at dinner tonight.
Andy: About that, I have to cancel. My father wants me to attend another networking thing tonight in New York, so I’m flying out this afternoon. Be back Monday.
Disappointed, Nina sat down on the cushioned bench. Since getting back together, they’d picked a wedding date at the end of the month. Let’s get married. Let’s not wait, he’d said. In two more weeks, she’d become Nina von Trapp, and she wondered if he could manage to make time for them to go on their honeymoon.
Nina: Wish you didn’t have to go. Call me when you get there.
Andy: I will. Love you.
She stared at the words. They may not have passion, but he was safe. Security before passion.
I’m done. I’m not chasing you anymore.
Nina: Love you, too.
She didn’t have time to dwell too long on her thoughts because the saleswoman returned with three dresses and hung them on the rack. She helped Nina into the first one with a corset-designed bodice that squeez
ed her torso and made her stand up straighter.
“Do you like it?” Elizabeth walked in a circle around her, adjusting here and there.
“It’s fine.”
“You should love your dress.”
Nina met her gaze in the mirror and smiled faintly. “It’s only one day. Let’s see what my mother and sister think.”
They thought it was good, but not great. She tried on the next one, which also met with a tepid response, though her mother was much more enthusiastic about these gowns than the previous ones Nina had chosen.
When she donned the last dress and stepped out of the fitting room and onto the raised platform, her mother gasped.
Lindsay’s mouth hung open. “Wow,” her sister said.
Elizabeth crouched before her and fluffed the skirt, and Gloria slowly approached with tear-filled eyes. She stepped up beside Nina. “This is it. You truly look like a bride.”
The dress was extravagant, over-the-top, and absolutely not what she came here to buy, but the expression on her family’s faces made it the perfect purchase. The dress sparkled, with an off-the-shoulder neckline and a fitted bodice covered in rhinestones. The voluminous skirt combined layers of tulle and satin that visually had an ethereal effect and made her look like a princess.
“I do look like a bride.” Nina turned her back to the mirror and examined the rear view over her shoulder.
“Are you ready for the veil?” Elizabeth asked.
Nina nodded, and Elizabeth fitted the tiara and veil onto her head.
“You look stunning,” the assistant manager said.
“Andy is going to fall in love with you all over again when he sees you. This is it. Don’t you think this is it?” her mother asked anxiously, eyes still filled with tears.
Yes, she looked like a bride. Yes, the dress was beautiful, but it wasn’t what she wanted. But sometimes, sacrifices had to be made. Compromises reached. It might not be her dream gown, but it was good enough.
In a short while, she would walk down the aisle and say I do. Emotion clogged her throat, tying up the words she needed to say. Was it excitement, nervousness, or something else? Whatever it was, she managed to push through and answer her mother.
“Yes, this is it,” Nina said.
Chapter 29
A sharp knock sounded on the bedroom door. Then it eased open.
“Reese, you have a guest,” Javier said.
“I don’t want to talk to anyone.” The pillows over his head muffled the words.
Last night Reese went drinking with two friends. People with no job and few responsibilities had no qualms about drinking on a weeknight, but he knew better. Long after they left, he stayed at the bar and downed more liquor, going so far as to buy several rounds for the people seated around him so he wouldn’t have to drink alone. But the pain of losing Nina couldn’t be diminished by alcohol.
He only made himself miserable. Right now, he lay sprawled across the bed on his stomach with the sheets tangled around his legs and a splitting headache. He’d slept all day off and on, and in general, felt like crap.
“He said you would want to talk to him. His name is Andy von Trapp.”
Andy von Trapp?
Reese lifted his head from beneath the pillows and squinted against the light coming in the door behind his housekeeper. “What does he want?”
“He didn’t say, except that he wanted to talk to you about something personal.”
There was nothing he wanted to talk to Andy about unless he wanted to tell Reese that he was going to disappear off the face of the planet. Reese would gladly talk to him about that.
“Should I ask him to leave?”
Curiosity got the better of him, and Reese sat up. “No. Give me a few minutes to wash my face, and I’ll come out.”
Javier nodded and closed the door behind him.
What did Andy want? Guess I’ll have to find out, Reese thought.
He threw off the covers and stumbled into the bathroom. He looked a little bleary-eyed, but not too bad, considering the night he had. He brushed his teeth and washed his face, and then pulled on a pair of jeans. He didn’t bother with a shirt. This was his house, and Andy had arrived uninvited and without warning, so he’d have to deal with Reese’s naked torso.
He walked into the living room, and Andy rose from the sofa. He looked well put together, his dark hair slicked down on one side, and wearing a tailored charcoal suit and red tie.
He looked at Reese’s naked chest and raised an eyebrow. “Did I interrupt something?”
“I was taking a nap.”
“Long night?”
“Let’s skip the chitchat. We’re not friends. Why are you here?”
Andy smiled faintly. “To talk, man-to-man.”
Man-to-man was never a good phrase and always meant trouble, but Reese was in a trouble-making mood. Here stood the person who had taken away the love of his life. Maybe he’d take advantage of this opportunity to tell Andy a few words himself, man-to-man.
“About what?”
Andy stuck one hand in his jacket pocket. “About whom.”
His eyes followed Andy as he ambled around the living room, gaze touching on various pieces of furniture and the decorative items on the walls, as if checking out the place to buy it.
“I remembered you from Westerly Academy.” He swiveled to face Reese.
“So, you lied.”
He shrugged. “Having a little fun. Bothered you, didn’t it? That I couldn’t remember who you were.”
What the heck was going on? He didn’t know why Andy was there or what direction the conversation was going in, but he was already tired of it and wasn’t in the mood for any foolishness.
“I couldn’t care less, to be honest. I barely remember that afternoon.” Reese affected a bored voice, but he remembered every detail of that afternoon—at least the portions that included Nina. He remembered the yellow and white dress she wore, her straightened hair framing her face, and the devastating news that she had accepted Andy’s proposal.
One of the worst days of his life, second only to the moment when he walked out of her apartment for good a couple of weeks ago.
“You and your buddies thought you were so cool in school, running around like top dogs. You, Mister Popular, the leader of the pack. I couldn’t stand you and your crew.”
“We never bothered you. We never even talked to you.”
“You didn’t have to. You talked about me. Called me Saint Andy because I didn’t participate in your wild escapades or find your behavior remotely attractive.”
That part was true, but those comments had been between Reese and his closest friends. Apparently, Andy had found out.
“I’m not going back down memory lane with you, talking about stuff that happened when we were kids. What do you want?”
“I want you to know the truth about me and Nina. I saw her once at a charity function. I did a little research and found out she was the daughter of Tyrus Winthrop of The Winthrop Hotel Group, who’d passed away. Our business interests aligned perfectly, and she had poise and class—the kind of woman a man like me wants to have by his side. My mother happened to know her mother because they occasionally saw each other at the spa. A few weeks later, she became a little more friendly with Gloria during her weekly spa visit, and they hit it off. It seemed like everything was aligning for me to be in her life, but then she abruptly left the country, and I didn’t know what to do. Until, with a little help, I decided to be the man she wanted.”
Reese couldn’t believe what he heard. “You sneaky little shit. You didn’t happen to run into her in New Zealand. You planned the whole encounter.”
A self-satisfied smirk tugged up the corners of Andy’s mouth. “Damn right, and don’t bother thinking you have to tell Nina. She knows and forgave me after she took a little break to clear her head.”
Reese laughed softly and folded his arms over his chest. “Oh, so that’s what the break was about?”
�
�She and I are good now.”
“If you’re so good, why are you here?”
“Because I know the two of you have history and saw the way you looked at her at Richard and Ingela’s engagement party. I also learned that the two of you spent time together during our brief separation.” His face hardened into unpleasant lines. “I’m here to warn you. I don’t need you confusing her. She chose me, Brooks, so if you’d kindly stay the hell away from her, I’d appreciate it.”
“Or what? You won’t do a damn thing.” Reese cocked his head to the side and challenged Andy with his eyes. “Did Nina tell you what she did on her break, while she and I were spending time together? Did she mention that I fucked her every night for six nights straight? Sometimes in the daytime, too. No?”
He took great pleasure in watching Andy’s face pale and his smirk disappear.
“Guess she needed a little excitement before she got tied down. Better bring your A-game, bruh, because if I catch you slipping in the future, I’ll fuck her again—give her more of that excitement she can’t get with your saintly ass. Fuck outta here.” He dismissed Andy with a curt, backhanded wave.
Two spots of red color inflamed Andy’s cheeks. He swung a right hook, but Reese stepped back and easily dodged the blow because he’d anticipated it.
“You only get one,” he warned, holding up a finger.
Andy raised his fist again, trembling with rage. “You son of a—”
Reese stepped into his face. “Say one word about my mother, and you’ll be eating my knuckles. Get out of here, and don’t ever step to me again.”
Both men glared at each other, only inches apart. Then Andy let out a disdainful, nasty chuckle.
“I feel sorry for you. You love her, don’t you? You must, or you wouldn’t keep hanging around, begging for her time, sleeping with her when you know she belongs to me. Makes you feel like shit, doesn’t it? That no matter what you do, she’ll never love you the way that you love her. That no matter how good you think you fucked her, she’s wearing my ring and marrying me in one week.” He whispered the next words. “You had her for six nights, but she’s mine for the rest of our lives.”
Deeper Than Love (Brooks Family Book 6) Page 18