“Jesse, please. I didn’t come here to fight.”
Rocking back on his heels, Jesse said, “Now that I think of it, it’s a good thing you’re here in person. Why don’t we make it official? I’ll buy out your third.”
Clay blinked hard. “You want me to sell my share of the ranch?”
This was his home. The ranch was his birthright. In spite of his absence, he’d never even considered selling the land his parents and grandparents had owned before him.
“Why not?” Jesse countered. “I’ve been doing all the work. I might as well own all the property.”
“I don’t want to sell.”
Jesse shook his head. “You are such a dog in the manger. You never cared about this ranch. All you ever cared about was having a wild time and it didn’t matter who got hurt.”
“I know I messed up, Jesse, but I’m trying to change.”
Slowly, Jesse’s defensive posture relaxed and his face softened. “I’d really like to believe that, little brother, but just saying the words doesn’t make it so.”
Nicki finished feeding Sasha but sat for a while on the corner of Jesse’s bed. She could no longer hear the sound of voices through the closed door. Was that a good sign for the brothers’ ceasefire or a bad one?
Either way, she couldn’t stay in here forever. Rising she opened the door and carried the baby back to her sleeping sisters. Jesse sat on the sofa sorting through a stack of papers. The dark look on his face kept her from asking about Clay.
“All the girls have eaten now, Jesse. Is there anything else I can do for you before I leave?”
“No. Thanks, Nicki. We’ll be fine.”
“Okay. What are you going to do about Mitzy?”
He blew out a loud slow breath. “I’m going to look for another nanny.”
“She’s young, but she has a good heart. Can’t you give her another chance? Explain to her what she did wrong?”
“No. This was inexcusable. Any suggestions on who else might want the job?”
“Not off the top of my head, but I’ll keep my eyes and ears open. Something will turn up. The right person is out there, Jesse. Don’t give up hope.”
He nodded, but didn’t reply. Picking up Kasey, Nicki settled her on her hip and left the house. As she closed the front door, she prayed God would send someone special to love and care for the triplets…and for Jesse.
Descending the porch steps, she saw Clay leaning on the corral fence beside the barn. He stood with one boot resting on the lowest board and his forearms propped on the top rail. He’d donned his hat and his sheepskin-lined jacket, but even without the trappings of a cowboy he would look at home on any ranch. Perhaps it was because he had cowboying in his blood.
She hesitated only a second before approaching him. From the set of his shoulders he looked as forlorn as his brother. It didn’t bode well for their reconciliation. She walked over to him.
“Moo-cow!” Kasey squealed, clapping her hands. Inside the corral were a dozen black Angus cows contentedly chewing their cuds and watching the humans with casual interest.
Clay glanced her way. “Did you get Sasha settled?”
“I did. They’re all asleep now.”
He held out a small photo. “I saw this blowing across the yard. Do you recognize them?”
She took the picture from his hand. The faded and water-splotched snapshot was of two young boys sitting on the seat of a tractor. “I don’t. If you take it to the church, they’ll add it to the lost and found items. Michael and Avery are cataloging everything that comes in and posting it on a Web site. Someone might come looking for it.”
Clay took it back. “I wonder how far from home this traveled?”
“The tornados that day touched down over a twenty-mile area. There’s no telling how far it came.”
“Or how far the things missing from this ranch traveled. They look like brothers, don’t they?”
She heard the sorrow in his voice as he stared at the photo.
“How did it go between you and Jesse?”
A wry smile flitted across Clay’s lips as he glanced at her. “The fatted calf has nothing to worry about.”
Reaching out, he lifted Kasey from Nicki and sat the toddler on the top rail so she could see all the cattle. Delighted, she jabbered away and kicked her feet against the wood.
“I’m sorry,” Nicki said sincerely. It was sad on so many levels. Both Logan brothers had always been too stubborn for their own good.
“Don’t be. I gave it my best shot.”
“You’re not giving up, are you?”
He shrugged. “To be honest, I’m not sure.”
“You shouldn’t give up. Nothing is more important than your family.”
“Next you’ll tell me time heals all wounds, the grass is always greener on the other side and a stitch in time saves nine.”
“If you’re going to make fun of me, I’m leaving.” She reached to take Kasey from him.
“No. Please don’t go. I’m sorry. I thought this would be easier, that’s all. I thought I knew what God wanted from me, but apparently I’m wrong again.”
She couldn’t keep the disappoint out of her voice. “So you’re just going to quit and move on? If your relationship with Jesse is important, don’t you think it’s worth a little work?”
“I don’t want to give up, but I don’t know what else to do. I tried to tell him I’m sorry, but he doesn’t want to forgive me.”
“Okay, I’m going to say this and you can get mad if you want, but this isn’t about YOU, Clay. Jesse is at a very bad place in his life. Think of all he’s been through. He doesn’t have to forgive you and welcome you back with open arms in order for you to be a good brother. Just be there for him. Show up. Help out without asking for anything in return. That’s what families do for each other.”
Nicki held her breath hoping that what she said had gotten through. Clay’s scowl faded as he considered her words. He stared at the photo in his hand. After a long moment of silence he looked at her. “You don’t pull any punches.”
“I’m surrounded by preschoolers all day. They’d eat me alive if I didn’t know how to defend myself. Stop searching for why God brought you back to High Plains, Clay. His plan is beyond our understanding. You’re here. Do something positive.”
She lifted Kasey off the fence and carried her to the car leaving Clay staring after her.
Chapter Eight
The morning after his not-so-successful visit with his brother, Clay sat at Maya’s kitchen table and nursed his second cup of coffee as he looked through the want ads in the local paper. The kids were at school and Maya had gone to work leaving Clay with nothing but time on his hands and Nicki’s comment running through his brain.
Do something positive.
Besides the fact that Nicki’s attitude had been a little hard to swallow, her advice wasn’t as simple as it sounded. How could he help his brother if Jesse didn’t want him around?
“It’s not about me,” Clay reminded himself.
Did Nicki really see him as that shallow and self-centered? Why shouldn’t she? He’d never done anything to prove to her that he wasn’t.
Concentrating on the paper again, he circled two of the jobs that interested him. Both were ads for ranch hands. One was for-a-day rider work. The salary wasn’t much, but he didn’t need much.
The other one paid less, but offered room and board. If he took that job, he’d be working for the Rocking P Ranch—the spread that bordered the Circle-L to the west.
Rising, Clay rinsed his empty cup and added it to the top rack of the dishwasher. What he needed was a good long ride to help him sort things out. It always helped. The only trouble was, he didn’t have a horse. Using his own two feet would have to do. Walking to the front door, he lifted his coat and hat from a hook, slipped them on and stepped out onto Maya’s porch.
The morning air was crisp and carried the sharp smell of autumn. Fallen leaves lay in piles where they’d drifted i
nto the street gutters. Frost decorated the windows of the cars and homes along the Garrison Street with delicate, sparkling patterns of ice. Winter would be here soon. The question was, where would he be when it arrived?
He didn’t want to impose on Maya much longer. Although she insisted he wasn’t any trouble, it was easy to see she had her hands full with her family and her job. And Jesse had certainly made it clear he didn’t want Clay out at the ranch.
More than once in his wanderings Clay had lived out of his truck, but that was less appealing than Maya’s sofa. If he was going to stay in High Plains much longer, he needed to find a job and a place of his own.
Was he was going to stay?
Okay, Lord, You brought me here but I’m floundering. How about a little direction?
As Clay wandered the streets of High Plains, he surveyed the damage that still remained from the tornado. The majority of the city’s trees and shrubs were bare of foliage, leaving the scars of the storm exposed. The town had been cleaned up, but it wasn’t back to normal.
Some damaged homes still had tarps strapped across open areas of their roofs or walls. He passed at least four vacant lots where building hadn’t been replaced. He tried to remember who lived in them, but couldn’t recall the names or faces. It made him feel even more disconnected from the town he’d once called home.
Eventually, his stroll led him to the corner of First and Main Street. Maya would be at work inside the two-story Garrison Building, but Clay decided against stopping in. Instead, he headed west along Main inspecting the businesses that were the lifeblood of the town.
The Pie Shop beside the Garrison building was open for business. The tantalizing smell of baked apples and cinnamon wafted out the door as a customer exited. Beside the bakery stood the High Plains Bank and Trust. It had suffered some damage to the ornate stonework on one corner of the building. A tall scaffold indicated that repairs were under way but he didn’t see any workman. Maybe they were in the Pie Shop. That aroma would be hard to resist if a guy was working next door to it. Chuckling to himself, Clay kept walking.
The modern City Hall building sat in the middle the block between Second and Third. It had come through the storm with very little damage. Clay knew only too well that the city police station occupied the rear of the structure. He had no desire to see it again.
Past City Hall was a gapping hole in the line of buildings that fronted Main Street. The General Store that had occupied the spot since before World War II was gone. It was hard to believe something so much a part of the fiber of the city had been wiped away.
From the corner of Third Street, he crossed Main to the park and found himself once again drawn to the site of the gazebo. Of all the places in town that had been destroyed, Nicki said she missed the gazebo the most. Why?
Was it because their first kiss there meant as much to her as it had to him? He glanced toward the church and the annex building where Nicki would be teaching this morning. It was easy to imagine her surrounded by children and happily praising their efforts. She had a way with kids.
Something he didn’t have.
As he gazed at the church, an elderly couple approached from the path that led to the river. Walking arm in arm with slow measured steps, they stopped when they reached the bare patch of earth.
The woman looked familiar, but it took a few seconds before Clay realized she was the woman in the photograph with Nicki, the one that had prompted him to come home. He tipped his hat in their direction.
The gray-haired lady sighed. “Isn’t it such a shame?”
Her companion patted her hand where it rested on his arm. “It’s just a place, honey. Folks are what’s important.”
“I know, but coming here always brought back such wonderful memories.”
The man had been eyeing Clay. “You’re one of the Logan boys, aren’t you?”
“Yes, sir. Clay Logan.”
“You’re got the look of your granddaddy. He was a fine man.”
“Thank you.”
“I’m Frank Macer. This is my wife, Lois.”
“Are you visiting family?” Lois asked.
“Yes, ma’am.”
She nodded. “I’m sure that’s a blessing after all that’s happened. Maya is such a dear.”
“Where’d you wind up?” Frank was clearly curious.
“Canada. I’m a wilderness guide there.”
“Got out of ranching, did you?” Frank smiled. “Don’t blame you. It’s a hard life, but your brother seems to be doing okay.”
“Jesse always had a head for it.”
“It was a real shame about his wife.” There was deep sympathy in Lois’s voice. “Those poor babies. How is Jesse managing?”
He needs help, but he’s too proud to ask. And he sure wouldn’t appreciate me telling people he’s having a tough time.
Clay glanced at the toe of his boot. “The ranch and the babies are keeping him busy. You don’t happen to know of a nanny looking for work, do you?”
Lois tipped her head. “I believe I heard Clara Binter was looking for a job. Her husband passed away about a year ago and she said she was going nuts now that her last son has moved out. She raised five kids of her own, so she knows how it’s done. I’ll give her a call.”
Clay smiled brightly and leaned toward her. “Jesse could use the help, but don’t mention I said that.”
She gave him a knowing smile. “Of course not. I understand how you men guard your pride.”
“If you’re tired of Canada, you should move back here,” Frank said. “This town needs young people if it’s gonna survive.”
“I’ll keep that in mind,” Clay answered, his smile fading. While there were a lot of good memories for Clay in High Plains, there were a lot of sad ones he wasn’t sure he could face on a daily basis for the rest of his life. Maybe thinking about staying was foolish.
Lois gestured toward the empty space in front of them. “I miss this old gazebo. It used to be a hub for the young folks.”
“Maybe in our time, Ma, but not for this new generation,” Frank scoffed. “They only like their phones and their video games.”
She glowered at him. “You just don’t like new things, Frank.”
“That’s right. That’s why I keep you around. You don’t have any buttons to push.”
Lois batted his arm in mock disgust. “You mind your manners.”
Rocking back on his heels, Clay said, “I have to agree with Frank. I don’t even own a cell phone.”
“Our grandkids take pictures and everything with theirs.”
“Guess that’s not such a bad thing,” Clay admitted. “I wish I had a picture of this place before the storm.”
Frank grinned at Clay and winked. “I don’t need a picture to remind me, I’ve got Lois. Why, I stole my first kiss from this old gal right here back in 1942.”
Clay smiled. So he and Nicki hadn’t been the first ones to take advantage of the privacy the little building had afforded. How many other romances had bloomed behind the lattice walls?
“Who you calling old?” Lois demanded. “You watch yourself, Frank, or you’ll be fixing your own lunch.”
Pressing a hand to his stomach, Frank said, “Speaking of lunch, Ma, we’d best get going. I’m starving.”
She rolled her eyes, then smiled at Clay. “It was nice talking to you, young man.”
He tipped his hat and they walked on, arm in arm, leaning on each other. A feeling of envy stole over him. What he wouldn’t give to love and be loved for so many years.
Turning back to survey the vacant space the gazebo once occupied, Clay slowly stroked his chin. An idea began to take shape in his mind. He could rebuild the structure. He knew enough carpentry to take on the task. He’d worked one summer on a construction crew in Cheyenne.
He paced off the empty spot of dirt as he tried to recall how big the pavilion had been. It loomed so large in his memory that he had a hard time believing it had occupied such a small space. It had been abo
ut fourteen feet across he decided. Without a tape measure he couldn’t be sure.
According to Maya, the town council didn’t have the money to rebuild the structure. Would they object if someone else wanted to replace it? He couldn’t see why they would.
He took a step back and settled his hands on his hips. He probably had enough money saved to pay for the materials. He’d stop by the lumberyard and get an estimate of what it would cost before he checked with City Hall to see if he could actually get started with the project.
Even if he left town later, he could still give the Macers and everyone in High Plains a new centerpiece for their park. A place for couples and families to gather. A place for future stolen kisses on prom night.
The thought occurred to him as he walked away that he’d also be leaving Nicki something to remember him by.
Leaving her preschool classroom at the end of the day on Friday, Nicki pushed Kasey’s stroller ahead of her and crossed Main Street as she headed toward the grocery store. The cupboards weren’t exactly bare, but she did need to stock up on a few things for the weekend and she needed to hurry.
The television weatherman had promised a balmy Indian summer afternoon, but as frequently happened in Kansas, he had missed the mark. Low, fast-moving clouds were rolling in. They carried the smell of rain.
Knowing winter would soon make it impossible to walk to work with Kasey, Nicki had jumped at the chance to use the stroller. Kasey loved riding in it—unlike her car seat. At times, Nicki thought she’d get a permanent case of whiplash from constantly checking to make sure Kasey stayed buckled up in the car.
Casting an eye toward the gray sky, Nicki shivered. She knew this wasn’t the same kind of storm that had brought the tornado to High Plains, but like many people in town, she experienced a sense of dread whenever it became overcast. She’d never been frightened of thunder or the sound of the wind before—but that had changed.
Her shopping took only a few minutes. Leaving the store, she glanced as she always did toward the empty place in the park across the street where the gazebo once stood. To her surprise, she saw Clay unloading lumber from the back of a pickup and carrying it to the site.
A Family for Thanksgiving (Love Inspired) Page 10